I want to send my heartfelt condolences to you and your children. I truly know the pain and feeling like this cannot possibly be happening. I lost my 1st husband to Leukemia when I was 28 and he was 26, and I have lived with the weight of the grief that is there all the time. Your post brings back a lot of those feelings. I did not, however, have my children at the time, so I have no magic words of wisdom in that regard. Having children with my 2nd husband, I can only imagine how difficult this will be for you and them.
I know what was important in my grieving was talking about it- a lot. I went to some support groups and it was helpful to go and be with people who could understand what I was going through for the most part. The only thing, though, was that I was always the youngest person there and that was hard in itself. But talking about it and really letting yourself go through the pain is better than holding it all in.
Please know that I am here to listen if you want, and it appears that there are a lot of other Dis'ers also. I will also PM you this message.
Hugs,
Patty