eandesmom
I'm with Beast
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2009
- Messages
- 14,172
Life is short. And all too often I know I get caught up in things that, in the big picture, arent all that important. They arent what matters. The minutia of life doesnt play a minor role most days for me. It can take over and be hard to see past. Sometimes however, things happen, that remind us to take a step back and re-evaluate, re-prioritize. To stop. To breathe. To just be.
Together.
I have had such a weekend. And while I dont want to start this PTR out on a sad note it is true that such events are often the catalyst for moving other things forward in life and this is certainly a contributing factor in this case.
I went into my weekend caught up in minutia. Caught up in life. And ok, maybe it isn't minutia but none of it was anything that thinking about, in the moment I was thinking about it, could have possibly had a positive purpose for.
I had a magical day planned with my husband Jeff on Friday that should have been spent completely focused on enjoying the moment. Instead, at times, I let myself dwell on things, be distracted by things that had nothing to do with the moment I was in, moments I won't get back. It was a good day. A great day even. However, it should have been, could have been, unforgettable, magical. Defining even. I let life get in the way of that, and knew I was doing it at the time and did it anyway.
Later that night, a coach in our rec soccer league, died from a burst aorta at his daughters practice. I did not know him, but I did know one of the families on the team, their son plays with our youngest and it was surreal to know that the very field our boys were playing on that morning, had witnessed such a horrible tragedy the night before. That their daughter, only 9, had witnessed it at that age.
It vividly brought to mind the loss of a parent on the same team, just 2 years prior, to a horrendous freak accident, driving to his son's practice. I spent much of Saturday reflecting on time, and making time count and reminding myself to enjoy the moment (and berating myself for my self absorption the day before). I didnt have a chance to discuss any of this with my Jeff, he was off at different soccer game and then our evening was taken over with a last afternoon at the lake enjoying the summer weather and then a family party at our house, celebrating 2 of our kids birthdays with cousins and grandparents.
I was blessed with such a moment to treasure later that evening. The party had started quite late and with 6 boys ranging from ages 9-12 my house felt VERY small after about an hour of them being cooped up inside as it was dark out. The TVs were occupied with adults watching sports or teens hiding from young annoying boys and I was trying to figure out how to commandeer one of the TVs for the younger ones when my 10 year old nephew Isaac asked me if he could have a blanket.
For what I asked. "To go outside, lay down, and look at the stars". "Is that ok Aunt Cindy?".
I had to stop myself, for a nanosecond, from even thinking about my blankets being spread out on the street or in the driveway, from caring about dirt and gum and whatever else. From thinking that I can't wash them after they do this because my washer is broke and it won't get fixed until Tuesday afternoon It was a nanosecond. But it was there.
"Yes of course that's ok Izzy, let's go see what we have"
That evening, 5 of the 6 previously completely wild boys laid down in my driveway, looking at the stars, finding Jupiter and discussing constellations. It was their idea from start to finish, all we did was provide blankets. Blankets I haven't washed. In fact, I haven't even checked to see if they are dirty or not. It would have been 6 little boys but my autistic nephew wanted to read inside. My DS Evan, also 10, tried to get his cousin to come join them, offering a flashlight so he could continue to read but Quin, 11, declined.
Often on a night like this, Jeff will get out the telescope and show the boys what to look for. They love it. But there was a soccer game on TV and Jeff, along with the rest of the adults was otherwise engaged.
They wanted stars. They figured out how to get them on their own.
I have no pictures to share of that moment, observing the boys from my front porch, other than the ones in my heart but they give me joy as I write just to think about.
They can be sweet, those wild boys.
They can have quiet moments.
they can CREATE moments
They can reflect.
They can just...be.
It is so easy to forget that.
The next morning we learned that my BIL, Doug, had a mild heart attack and was awaiting surgery. Doug is self employed and does not have insurance and does not take the greatest care of himself. Doug and Jeff are not terribly close, a source of sadness to all. They are not not close (if that makes any sense to anyone but me) but just very different people living very different lives. All 3 men, the coach Friday night, the dad 2 years ago and Doug, were 42 or 43. My husband Jeff and I spent much of Sunday in shock and reflection.
We decided, part of the way through our day yesterday, in the midst of baby showers and hospital updates, that we need to include Doug in our next family trip. As some of you know, we didn't have a family trip this summer, letting "life" get in the way. We haven't even seen Doug since July of 08. Sure that's only a year but if you only have 1 brother, that's pretty long in my book. At best it's once a year. I am blessed, most of my siblings are nearby and I see them all the time. Jeff's family means travel and we often put the burden on them, making the excuse that there are less of them than us, and it's easier.
But that's a convenient excuse. With Doug, we have so very few of those moments with him so far, especially the kids, they barely know Uncle Doug. And while this was mild, it was scary and there is some pretty significant family history in that area.
We decided today, that the trip would be to Orlando. There are a lot of reasons why and over the course of this PTR I'm sure I'll mention most of them.
The bottom line is Im pretty sure we can see the stars there. I plan to lay outside on the deck and find out. And even if we cant see them, we will know they are there. I think that's pixie dust. Lots and lots of it. And I also know that pixie dust has magical healing properties.
What better place to create those moments. And maybe, just maybe, a new dynamic for uncles and brothers.
There may be a lot of very good reasons why we shouldnt do this trip. There may be some significant hurdles to overcome to make this trip happen. But the reasons we SHOULD, well, lets just say the other stuff isnt important. Can be overcome. Should be overcome.
So say we all.
I hope you enjoy planning with me. And talking me off the ledge if I get overwhelmed with the minutia of life at times and it seems like we wont pull this off.
Here is a quick picture and list of our cast of characters, much more bio and history in the upcoming posts. Even though the trip is quite a ways away, life is too short not to make plans. And, while those plans may ultimately not work out or may need to change, there is significant joy and hope to be found in the planning. Plus, as I think most of you will agree, it makes the trip come faster.
I have decided to dispense with nicknames, if Im planning this far out, it will make it much easier! By the time this trip happens, we (with the exception of Eric) will all be a year older. Of course we are all older now than in this picture but it's the only shot of all 9 of us I have (from Dec 07 lol!)
Handy dandy update links!
Part one
Part Two
Together.
I have had such a weekend. And while I dont want to start this PTR out on a sad note it is true that such events are often the catalyst for moving other things forward in life and this is certainly a contributing factor in this case.
I went into my weekend caught up in minutia. Caught up in life. And ok, maybe it isn't minutia but none of it was anything that thinking about, in the moment I was thinking about it, could have possibly had a positive purpose for.
I had a magical day planned with my husband Jeff on Friday that should have been spent completely focused on enjoying the moment. Instead, at times, I let myself dwell on things, be distracted by things that had nothing to do with the moment I was in, moments I won't get back. It was a good day. A great day even. However, it should have been, could have been, unforgettable, magical. Defining even. I let life get in the way of that, and knew I was doing it at the time and did it anyway.
Later that night, a coach in our rec soccer league, died from a burst aorta at his daughters practice. I did not know him, but I did know one of the families on the team, their son plays with our youngest and it was surreal to know that the very field our boys were playing on that morning, had witnessed such a horrible tragedy the night before. That their daughter, only 9, had witnessed it at that age.
It vividly brought to mind the loss of a parent on the same team, just 2 years prior, to a horrendous freak accident, driving to his son's practice. I spent much of Saturday reflecting on time, and making time count and reminding myself to enjoy the moment (and berating myself for my self absorption the day before). I didnt have a chance to discuss any of this with my Jeff, he was off at different soccer game and then our evening was taken over with a last afternoon at the lake enjoying the summer weather and then a family party at our house, celebrating 2 of our kids birthdays with cousins and grandparents.
I was blessed with such a moment to treasure later that evening. The party had started quite late and with 6 boys ranging from ages 9-12 my house felt VERY small after about an hour of them being cooped up inside as it was dark out. The TVs were occupied with adults watching sports or teens hiding from young annoying boys and I was trying to figure out how to commandeer one of the TVs for the younger ones when my 10 year old nephew Isaac asked me if he could have a blanket.
For what I asked. "To go outside, lay down, and look at the stars". "Is that ok Aunt Cindy?".
I had to stop myself, for a nanosecond, from even thinking about my blankets being spread out on the street or in the driveway, from caring about dirt and gum and whatever else. From thinking that I can't wash them after they do this because my washer is broke and it won't get fixed until Tuesday afternoon It was a nanosecond. But it was there.
"Yes of course that's ok Izzy, let's go see what we have"
That evening, 5 of the 6 previously completely wild boys laid down in my driveway, looking at the stars, finding Jupiter and discussing constellations. It was their idea from start to finish, all we did was provide blankets. Blankets I haven't washed. In fact, I haven't even checked to see if they are dirty or not. It would have been 6 little boys but my autistic nephew wanted to read inside. My DS Evan, also 10, tried to get his cousin to come join them, offering a flashlight so he could continue to read but Quin, 11, declined.
Often on a night like this, Jeff will get out the telescope and show the boys what to look for. They love it. But there was a soccer game on TV and Jeff, along with the rest of the adults was otherwise engaged.
They wanted stars. They figured out how to get them on their own.
I have no pictures to share of that moment, observing the boys from my front porch, other than the ones in my heart but they give me joy as I write just to think about.
They can be sweet, those wild boys.
They can have quiet moments.
they can CREATE moments
They can reflect.
They can just...be.
It is so easy to forget that.
The next morning we learned that my BIL, Doug, had a mild heart attack and was awaiting surgery. Doug is self employed and does not have insurance and does not take the greatest care of himself. Doug and Jeff are not terribly close, a source of sadness to all. They are not not close (if that makes any sense to anyone but me) but just very different people living very different lives. All 3 men, the coach Friday night, the dad 2 years ago and Doug, were 42 or 43. My husband Jeff and I spent much of Sunday in shock and reflection.
We decided, part of the way through our day yesterday, in the midst of baby showers and hospital updates, that we need to include Doug in our next family trip. As some of you know, we didn't have a family trip this summer, letting "life" get in the way. We haven't even seen Doug since July of 08. Sure that's only a year but if you only have 1 brother, that's pretty long in my book. At best it's once a year. I am blessed, most of my siblings are nearby and I see them all the time. Jeff's family means travel and we often put the burden on them, making the excuse that there are less of them than us, and it's easier.
But that's a convenient excuse. With Doug, we have so very few of those moments with him so far, especially the kids, they barely know Uncle Doug. And while this was mild, it was scary and there is some pretty significant family history in that area.
We decided today, that the trip would be to Orlando. There are a lot of reasons why and over the course of this PTR I'm sure I'll mention most of them.
The bottom line is Im pretty sure we can see the stars there. I plan to lay outside on the deck and find out. And even if we cant see them, we will know they are there. I think that's pixie dust. Lots and lots of it. And I also know that pixie dust has magical healing properties.
What better place to create those moments. And maybe, just maybe, a new dynamic for uncles and brothers.
There may be a lot of very good reasons why we shouldnt do this trip. There may be some significant hurdles to overcome to make this trip happen. But the reasons we SHOULD, well, lets just say the other stuff isnt important. Can be overcome. Should be overcome.
So say we all.
I hope you enjoy planning with me. And talking me off the ledge if I get overwhelmed with the minutia of life at times and it seems like we wont pull this off.
Here is a quick picture and list of our cast of characters, much more bio and history in the upcoming posts. Even though the trip is quite a ways away, life is too short not to make plans. And, while those plans may ultimately not work out or may need to change, there is significant joy and hope to be found in the planning. Plus, as I think most of you will agree, it makes the trip come faster.
I have decided to dispense with nicknames, if Im planning this far out, it will make it much easier! By the time this trip happens, we (with the exception of Eric) will all be a year older. Of course we are all older now than in this picture but it's the only shot of all 9 of us I have (from Dec 07 lol!)
- Cynthia. Me. The planner of the clan. 43
- Jeff. My fabulous(ly tolerant of my Disney addiction) husband. 45
- Taylor. DSS16
- Kendall. DSD13
- Evan. DS10
- Eric. DS9
- Sandie. My fantabulous MIL. I wont divulge her age!
- Paul. Sandies amazing husband. Who also happened to marry Jeff and I
He is the bomb. And a huge Disney fan. - Doug. Jeffs brother (my BIL lol), 43
- And a possible add on, Laura, Dougs girlfriend
Handy dandy update links!
Part one
Part Two
I saw your new tag pop up when I scrolled through my PTR and had to come jump on! I have to come back later and read your post because I have to go get the kiddos up for school now! Be back soon!
One day I will see mountains like that in person and not just in pictures and on TV 
Clearly, he’s gotten over it.
