letting newborns cry it out

[msjprincess]

8 weeks old is way too young. I think 8 mos. is probably too young. That poor little baby, I wonder if they're rocking to self soothe yet

My parents proudly talk of how they let us CIO as newborns. We are all terrible sleepers and always have been. And 3 out of 4 of us used to rock ourselves to sleep because we got into that habit as infants. Those parents are setting their child up for a lifetime of sleep issues for the sake of a few hours of sleep.

DS was born in Siberia and spent his first year in an orphanage. He has never had any self-soothing habits which probably means he had better attention when he was crying than a child shut in a closet and left to cry.

Did you even read the blog?

She said the baby cried for 20 minutes the first day or two and now barely cries at all when she puts her to bed.

 

[mjkacmom]

8 weeks old is way too young. I think 8 mos. is probably too young. That poor little baby, I wonder if they're rocking to self soothe yet

My parents proudly talk of how they let us CIO as newborns. We are all terrible sleepers and always have been. And 3 out of 4 of us used to rock ourselves to sleep because we got into that habit as infants. Those parents are setting their child up for a lifetime of sleep issues for the sake of a few hours of sleep.

DS was born in Siberia and spent his first year in an orphanage. He has never had any self-soothing habits which probably means he had better attention when he was crying than a child shut in a closet and left to cry.

8 weeks is too early (although after reading more, she did feed the baby several times during the night), but IMHO, 8 months is too late. My kids who never had to CIO are awesome sleepers, and my kids who did have to CIO are awesome sleepers. At 6 months, all were sleeping 12 hours (without waking) at night, and taking two 2 1/2 hour naps during the day. Most napped until the age of 4 (transitioning to one 3 hour nap at about 18 months of age), but my twins only napped until 2 1/2 (2 toddlers in a room = party time!).

 

[msjprincess]

All I can say is that I did exactly that, EVERY time save one. I was in a position where it was impossible to do so at the time and I cried the entire time because it upset me so much not to be able to pick up my baby right away!

How do you take a shower or go to the bathroom?

 

[Magic Mom]

8 weeks old is way too young. I think 8 mos. is probably too young. That poor little baby, I wonder if they're rocking to self soothe yet

My parents proudly talk of how they let us CIO as newborns. We are all terrible sleepers and always have been. And 3 out of 4 of us used to rock ourselves to sleep because we got into that habit as infants. Those parents are setting their child up for a lifetime of sleep issues for the sake of a few hours of sleep.
DS was born in Siberia and spent his first year in an orphanage. He has never had any self-soothing habits which probably means he had better attention when he was crying than a child shut in a closet and left to cry.

No they aren't. That's ridiculous. Did you even read the blog? I think your parents must have left you to cry more than just 20 minutes at bedtime.

DS has always been an easy sleeper (well since he had to CIO). He doesn't need any weird rocking tic to help himself fall asleep.

I imagine if the child's parents aren't showing affection during the day, aren't tending to the child's needs at night (diaper, feeding, illness) and aren't meeting needs during the day, the child would have have difficulties, but that just isn't the case.

 

[penn19]

I did CIO with all of my kids. All of them (except one) sleep with no problems. The one that has the sleep "issue", works until midnight 5 nights a week, so by the time he gets home and unwinds, it does mess him up a bit. But I think that is a work related issue, and not a CIO issue.

I am quite sure that my mom also did CIO with me also. And you guessed it. No sleep problems with me either.

Everyone parents differently. Everyone has different household events (jobs, no partner or outside help. The list can go on). Not everyone is the same.

 

[penn19]

No they aren't. That's ridiculous. Did you even read the blog? I think your parents must have left you to cry more than just 20 minutes at bedtime.

DS has always been an easy sleeper (well since he had to CIO). He doesn't need any weird rocking tic to help himself fall asleep.

I imagine if the child's parents aren't showing affection during the day, aren't tending to the child's needs at night (diaper, feeding, illness) and aren't meeting needs during the day, the child would have have difficulties, but that just isn't the case.

Exactly.

 

[msjprincess]

No they aren't. That's ridiculous. Did you even read the blog? I think your parents must have left you to cry more than just 20 minutes at bedtime.

DS has always been an easy sleeper (well since he had to CIO). He doesn't need any weird rocking tic to help himself fall asleep.

I imagine if the child's parents aren't showing affection during the day, aren't tending to the child's needs at night (diaper, feeding, illness) and aren't meeting needs during the day, the child would have have difficulties, but that just isn't the case.

ITA
The baby isn't being neglected. If the PP is rocking herrself to sleep because of emotional issues there is a lot more going on that crying for 20 minutes at bedtime.

 

[scubamouse]

No they aren't. That's ridiculous. Did you even read the blog? I think your parents must have left you to cry more than just 20 minutes at bedtime. .

I didn't read the blog because most people who rationalize CIO are way too proud about it and I find that just cruel. I was going off the OP. And yes my parents talk about letting us CIO for over an hour from the time they brought us home from the hospital as if that was something to be proud of

DS has always been an easy sleeper (well since he had to CIO). He doesn't need any weird rocking tic to help himself fall asleep.

Consider yourself lucky because a LOT of people who were left to CIO do rock, or head bang or twitch their legs because that's how they self soothed as an infant.

If the PP is rocking herrself to sleep because of emotional issues there is a lot more going on that crying for 20 minutes at bedtime.

Is that directed at me? You have to insult to get your point across? Why because I pointed out some of the possible downside of CIO? Was that really necessary?

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Good thing you never had twins... By the time they arrived, I was well seasoned on accepting the fact that no permanant damage is going to occur if a baby has to cry. No reason new moms can't shower. I still remember being in the hospital, DH was at home, I was recovering from a c/s, and the nurse brought me my two 1 day old babies, and she told me they were both starving (they were coming from being examined by the pediatrician, who was running late), but did tell me that one was probably hungrier than the other, so start with that one (both were wailing).

I never mastered the whole feeding/holding them at the same time thing. They are fine....No one is emotionally disturbed and they are both up my behind, so we certainly didn't have any bonding issues.

 

[Magic Mom]

I didn't read the blog because most people who rationalize CIO are way too proud about it and I find that just cruel. I was going off the OP. And yes my parents talk about letting us CIO for over an hour from the time they brought us home from the hospital as if that was something to be proud of



Consider yourself lucky because a LOT of people who were left to CIO do rock, or head bang or twitch their legs because that's how they self soothed as an infant.

To consider myself lucky would mean I would have to consider what I did a mistake or the wrong thing. I don't. I'm not lucky that he doesn't rock or twitch confused. I made an informed decision and followed a thought out plan to teach my child to fall asleep in his own bed when he was tired. It wasn't fun or easy, but it was necessary for US. Your child may have been different as was my second child.

He doesn't rock or twitch, because I made sure his needs were met and because we were affectionate and loving parents, not because I was lucky.

 

[penn19]

To consider myself lucky would mean I would have to consider what I did a mistake or the wrong thing. I don't. I'm not lucky that he doesn't rock or twitch confused. I made an informed decision and followed a thought out plan to teach my child to fall asleep in his own bed when he was tired. It wasn't fun or easy, but it was necessary for US. Your child may have been different as was my second child.

He doesn't rock or twitch, because I made sure his needs were met and because we were affectionate and loving parents, not because I was lucky.

Exactly. This is why I hated doing moms groups when my kids were little (and why talking to moms now for the same reason). I think with some people there is only one way to raise a child. And it's THEIR way. And have no problems telling you the many ways you are screwing up your kid. Breast vs bottle, pacifier vs no pacifier, cloth vs disposable etc....It never ends.

You do what works for you and your family, and I will do what works for me and my family.

 

[msjprincess]

I didn't read the blog because most people who rationalize CIO are way too proud about it and I find that just cruel. I was going off the OP. And yes my parents talk about letting us CIO for over an hour from the time they brought us home from the hospital as if that was something to be proud of



Consider yourself lucky because a LOT of people who were left to CIO do rock, or head bang or twitch their legs because that's how they self soothed as an infant.



Is that directed at me? You have to insult to get your point across? Why because I pointed out some of the possible downside of CIO? Was that really necessary?

How is that insulting you? You're the one who said it.

 

[horseshowmom]

To consider myself lucky would mean I would have to consider what I did a mistake or the wrong thing. I don't. I'm not lucky that he doesn't rock or twitch confused. I made an informed decision and followed a thought out plan to teach my child to fall asleep in his own bed when he was tired. It wasn't fun or easy, but it was necessary for US. Your child may have been different as was my second child.

He doesn't rock or twitch, because I made sure his needs were met and because we were affectionate and loving parents, not because I was lucky.

Of course not.

 

[sbell111]

DS was born in Siberia and spent his first year in an orphanage. He has never had any self-soothing habits which probably means he had better attention when he was crying than a child shut in a closet and left to cry.

Well, I guess the upside to your not reading the post is that you gave us an example of a place where twenty minutes can mean 'all night'.

 

[sbell111]

At 6 months, all were sleeping 12 hours (without waking) at night, and taking two 2 1/2 hour naps during the day.

Wow. That leaves three stretches of about two hours and twenty minutes where the kids were conscious. During that time, you squeezed in feedings, bathing, playing, etc. Did you ever leave the house?

 

[TheSchragFamily]

How do you take a shower or go to the bathroom?

Well, now they are in school all day, so it's not as much of a problem! And the truth is that I never showered unless my husband was home. Ever. I don't think that is so different from a lot of new moms...at least my friends all admitted they didn't get showers every morning and usually waited until their husbands came home from work, too. Hey, I'm not particularly proud of the fact that I probably didn't smell so great for those first few months, but hey, I was VERY NERVOUS about leaving the baby alone. I guess until now I never thought that was out of the ordinary for a new parent. And as for using the bathroom, I peed with the door open and QUICKLY if the baby was awake! I was also known to hold it for a little while if I could until someone else was around to hold the baby. Again, didn't realize this was so odd. Most of my mommy friends admitted to the same neurotic behavior and we all laughed about it.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, now they are in school all day, so it's not as much of a problem! And the truth is that I never showered unless my husband was home. Ever. I don't think that is so different from a lot of new moms...at least my friends all admitted they didn't get showers every morning and usually waited until their husbands came home from work, too. Hey, I'm not particularly proud of the fact that I probably didn't smell so great for those first few months, but hey, I was VERY NERVOUS about leaving the baby alone. I guess until now I never thought that was out of the ordinary for a new parent. And as for using the bathroom, I peed with the door open and QUICKLY if the baby was awake! I was also known to hold it for a little while if I could until someone else was around to hold the baby. Again, didn't realize this was so odd. Most of my mommy friends admitted to the same neurotic behavior and we all laughed about it.

It is normal for first time mommies - I did that as well, and then laughed at myself once #2 came, and I had 2 in cribs, #3 came, and again, 2 in cribs, and when #4 and #5 came, 3 in cribs. After the first, I realized how crazy it was that I didn't think I could shower!

 

[mjkacmom]

Wow. That leaves three stretches of about two hours and twenty minutes where the kids were conscious. During that time, you squeezed in feedings, bathing, playing, etc. Did you ever leave the house?

Oops, I was wrong by an hour. My kids slept from 8 - 7, and when they were little, napped from 9 -11:30, 2 - 4:30, and from 1 - 4 when they transitioned to 1 nap. I paid a HS student for years to come to my house after school so I could pick up kids without waking babies. We also did several playgroups, mommy and me classes, and shopped a lot (with 5 kids under the age of 7, I utilized Costco and Target's shopping carts once my twins were 6 months old just to get out of the house!

 

[herdtoDisney]

I always just brought my babies into the bathroom in their bouncy chairs while I showered. I could peek out at them and the steam is good for their lungs I suppose They always seemed happy bouncing away on the floor.

I'll be straight-up honest here. We slept with all 5 of our kids, typically to around a year. I nursed them, no one ever cried it out and we all got a good nights sleep! I did have a crib for use if I wasn't in bed-I never left a baby unattended on a bed. But at night they were with us and we all slept well. They all moved easily to the crib when they were old enough to sleep through the night and none had sleeping issues.

 

[HelenePA]

I brought my kids into the showers with me. Its amazing what you can do when you have to do it lol