Letter to the teacher

[castleview]

This is a good post. In my son's all-day K class, I noticed the same thing. Kids not really ready to do all the "sit down, shut up" work the teacher wanted. Particularly boys. Now these kids did have more down time and play time, but still, the lessons weren't all that interesting or engaging, and their minds really wandered after about 15 minutes, even though the teacher insisted on almost an hour of circle time/class meeting, followed by an hour of centers.

I couldn't get my son to do homework in K. He just sat at the table and cried. So, we didn't do it.

Come 1st grade, homework was came a bit easier, and he would work on it with some arguing. Now in 2nd grade, he does all his homework with minimal complaining.

Some teachers/school are out of control with homework. While I'm not a big fan of homeschooling, I sure can see why people feel compelled to do it.

Sort of hijacking here, but this is one of the reasons I'm against full day kindergarten. Although, I disagree with OP about homework and would love an old school structured teacher every year for my kids, I don't think they should go all day until first grade. ETA: Usually it's school boards that set homework policy and they don't always think. My DH teaches high school and is supposed to give two hours of homework each night. He doesn't give that much though. He is one of five or six teachers the kids see all day.

 

[si-am]

OP, it sounds like you just don't like the idea of formal schooling. You really are doing your daughter a disservice by sending her to traditional school if you are going to be yanking the rug out from under her by telling her, essentially, that what she's done all day at school has been a waste of time.

Time for you to make a decision. Either pull her out where she can be free all day long, or put her in school where she has to follow rules.

 

[jodifla]

honestly - hijacking my own thread a little, but that's ok - I can't believe how many of you seem to be so hardcore with your little ones in regards to formal schooling. I guess that just seems a little wild to me.

Ok, I agree, 5 minutes or so a night of studying spelling is no big deal. We do manage that several nights a week. Perhaps that wasn't made clear enough; its not that we don't do it at all, but just not every night.

And not all, but some of you.... HOURS a night of homework?? Really, for little kids?? When do they get time to be kids? And, honestly, homework should come before playtime for a 6 year old?? I am astounded. No wonder some kids are so stressed and worn out.

At 6, I am still up in the air about the benefits of formal schooling at all. At 6, I still want my kids to spend most of their time playing and just being kids.

Just another way of viewing things. My upbringing was very informal - child of hippie parents, I was homeschooled/unschooled till 3rd grade, then in a small private co-op school till 5th grade. Homework was minimal till then, and I still learned just fine. I was reading at a college level by 5th grade and graduated highschool with a 3.9 GPA. I guess it didn't hurt me.

People are very attached to their old-fashioned schooling ideas though. The truth is, the best and brightest kids often learn differently.

Instilling a love of learning is more important that churning out worksheets.

The other thing is, while parents like them....elementary report cards really don't matter much. So if your kid is marked down for not doing homework....so what? Like I said, that will drive some folks crazy, but it's reality. If you are making As and Bs by the time you hit middle school, nobody cares that you didn't turn in your K worksheet.

 

[vettechick99]

I used to do my homework in the bus. Just a thought!

 

[Planogirl]

I would have never sent the teacher such a long note. If I received a note from the school, I'd take the information under advisement but I'd choose whether to pay attention or not. If I received this note, I'd make sure that my child studied words just a little bit longer each day but I certainly wouldn't go into overkill either.

I agree that kids need time to be kids and the idea of an elementary school student working on homework for hours is just creepy! I'm glad that we never ran into anything like this.

 

[jodifla]

I used to do my homework in the bus. Just a thought!

You know, good point! Me too!

But I found most homework that teachers assigned mindless drivel. But they were sure attached to it.

 

[Sorsha]

Also, what grade is your dd in? I see she's 6, but that could put her at kindergarten or 1st. My ds didn't have actual spelling words in kindergarten(he had site words,) and I would think that spelling words in kindergarten would be a little soon. How many words does your dd have? Can you give us an example of the type of words? Just wondering if the teacher is off-base with her expectations or not.

Thanks for asking! That's a good question. She's in 1st grade, and her words are divided into two sections: "sight" words and "challenging" words. When she misses words, its always in the "challenging" words. This weeks list is:

as
any
will
bugs
team
after
again
boxes
sleep
happy
April
Easter
habitat
vacation
celebration

 

[castleview]

People are very attached to their old-fashioned schooling ideas though. The truth is, the best and brightest kids often learn differently.

Instilling a love of learning is more important that churning out worksheets.

Money quote. However, prompt work habits are important too and the worksheets are meant to reinforce what they learned in school.

 

[happygirl]

OP, you are doing nothing but underminding you daughter teacher. My daughter is in kindergarten and she gets home work sheets, They take maybe 1o mintues at the most. We are teaching her homework comes first before anything even play.

 

[castleview]

I hope your daughter isn't "punished" for your apparent lack of respect for the school's approach to education and request for some study time at home - obviously not openly, but in gray areas, where the teacher's judgement is used, this teacher's judgement towards your daughter could be a bit clouded by your note.

I'd hope the teacher is professional enough to not take it out on OP's daughter, but I wouldn't be surprised if the letter made the rounds in the faculty room.

 

[HelenePA]

honestly - hijacking my own thread a little, but that's ok - I can't believe how many of you seem to be so hardcore with your little ones in regards to formal schooling. I guess that just seems a little wild to me.

Ok, I agree, 5 minutes or so a night of studying spelling is no big deal. We do manage that several nights a week. Perhaps that wasn't made clear enough; its not that we don't do it at all, but just not every night.

And not all, but some of you.... HOURS a night of homework?? Really, for little kids?? When do they get time to be kids? And, honestly, homework should come before playtime for a 6 year old?? I am astounded. No wonder some kids are so stressed and worn out.

At 6, I am still up in the air about the benefits of formal schooling at all. At 6, I still want my kids to spend most of their time playing and just being kids.

Just another way of viewing things. My upbringing was very informal - child of hippie parents, I was homeschooled/unschooled till 3rd grade, then in a small private co-op school till 5th grade. Homework was minimal till then, and I still learned just fine. I was reading at a college level by 5th grade and graduated highschool with a 3.9 GPA. I guess it didn't hurt me.

Typical day after school goes like this.. Home at 4. Snack, out to play til 5:15-5:30, homework til 5:45pm6, dinner, bath, then whatever they want to do til 8:15. Then its bedtime they can read just not jump around and play games til they go to sleep.. I dont get where any of us have said they have HOURS of homework in first, second, third, grade can you point those posts out to me? maybe I missed them.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I used to do my homework in the bus. Just a thought!

I would actually let me children ride the bus IF the they were allowed to do schoolwork while they are confined to the bus seat. I don't know if it's just our bus driver but the children aren't allowed to even open their bookbags. It's easier for me to just pick them up so that they have more time to run around a bit before they have to start homework.

 

[lovemygoofy]

honestly - hijacking my own thread a little, but that's ok - I can't believe how many of you seem to be so hardcore with your little ones in regards to formal schooling. I guess that just seems a little wild to me.

Ok, I agree, 5 minutes or so a night of studying spelling is no big deal. We do manage that several nights a week. Perhaps that wasn't made clear enough; its not that we don't do it at all, but just not every night.

And not all, but some of you.... HOURS a night of homework?? Really, for little kids?? When do they get time to be kids? And, honestly, homework should come before playtime for a 6 year old?? I am astounded. No wonder some kids are so stressed and worn out.

At 6, I am still up in the air about the benefits of formal schooling at all. At 6, I still want my kids to spend most of their time playing and just being kids.

Just another way of viewing things. My upbringing was very informal - child of hippie parents, I was homeschooled/unschooled till 3rd grade, then in a small private co-op school till 5th grade. Homework was minimal till then, and I still learned just fine. I was reading at a college level by 5th grade and graduated highschool with a 3.9 GPA. I guess it didn't hurt me.

The problem is that you put your daughter in a school system you don't even agree with. This is the first of many problems you are going to have with this school. You have one view of expectations and they have another and this child will sit in the middle of both which isn't fair. There should be a way to have both I would think if you plan to stick with this school.

As for the letter, I just thought it sounded over blown and exaggerated. You are talking about a six year old child. I'm not sure why she would be so tired and stressed that she needs hours upon hours of decompression time. I mean decompression time? She is 6? What's the worst thing that happened to her in a day that she needs an hour to relax in her bubble bath?

What did you want the result of the letter to be? Do you want the teacher to quit sending notes home? Do you want the teacher to change her style of teaching for your daughter? I saw no point in the letter unless there was an intent in it. Simply sending this letter is just explaining in long winding, albeit important wording that you don't agree with her style of teaching and you are going to do things the way you want. So why the letter?

 

[NHdisneylover]

honestly - hijacking my own thread a little, but that's ok - I can't believe how many of you seem to be so hardcore with your little ones in regards to formal schooling. I guess that just seems a little wild to me.

Ok, I agree, 5 minutes or so a night of studying spelling is no big deal. We do manage that several nights a week. Perhaps that wasn't made clear enough; its not that we don't do it at all, but just not every night.

And not all, but some of you.... HOURS a night of homework?? Really, for little kids?? When do they get time to be kids? And, honestly, homework should come before playtime for a 6 year old?? I am astounded. No wonder some kids are so stressed and worn out.

At 6, I am still up in the air about the benefits of formal schooling at all. At 6, I still want my kids to spend most of their time playing and just being kids.

Just another way of viewing things. My upbringing was very informal - child of hippie parents, I was homeschooled/unschooled till 3rd grade, then in a small private co-op school till 5th grade. Homework was minimal till then, and I still learned just fine. I was reading at a college level by 5th grade and graduated highschool with a 3.9 GPA. I guess it didn't hurt me.

First off, I think your letter gave the impression that you are not willing to spend even 5 minutes on the spelling words more than once a week or so and that you may not get to them at all.
I do not compltely disagree with you about the importance of free play or your questioning of the value of formal education at this age. I also agree that some kids learn very much better outside of teh traditional systems. However, if you place your child in the local schools you need to follow their system or else she is impeded by not only a system which may not be ideal for her, but also by not having the support to work within said system.

Maybe you should homeschool her through 2nd or third grade and then put her in public schools, or maybe you should find a private school that you feel will work better. I homeschooled my own kids for four years and I think it was great for them (and they had lOTS more unstructured time to play or relax becuase a large chunk of the elementary school day is spent on things like lining up, or waiting for the whole class to catch up, etc.). I only quit homeschooling because we now live where it is illegal. Now, I do not agree with everything that happens at school but I know mostly it works and it works for a ton of kids and that my kids are not any more important to the teacher (or anyone but me and DH) thatn any other kids so they have to do what they need to to work within the system wether they like it or not (within reason obviously--DD13s teacher told her she should ask out one of the boys who has a crush on her because she would enjoy having a boyfriend and should lighten up and not stress so much about school--yeah I told DD she did not HAVE to ask out any boys; that SO would not have happened in the US).

OP, it sounds like you just don't like the idea of formal schooling. You really are doing your daughter a disservice by sending her to traditional school if you are going to be yanking the rug out from under her by telling her, essentially, that what she's done all day at school has been a waste of time.

Time for you to make a decision. Either pull her out where she can be free all day long, or put her in school where she has to follow rules.

This qupte says it better than I did.

 

[tlens]

The fact you were unschooled puts a WHOLE new light on your philosophy. Of course you don't like routine and think kids should do nothing but play. That's the whole idea of unschooling. Let the kids decide what and when they want to learn something. there is no formal education. No curriculum. When the child decides to learn to read, they learn to read....even if the child is 10. Totally different than homeschooling which actually teaches a child on a schedule of some type.

Listen. Your child IS IN SCHOOL. Therefore you must follow the rules of the school. If you don't like it, then take her out but don't undermine the place because it doesn't fit with your philosophy. But, if you unschool you are setting your child up for a really difficult time in life. Think about that. We all have rules to follow, even if we don't really agree with them. That's how a society functions without chaos.

 

[SplashMtnCrew]

 

[Crystal0608]

My ds, in 2nd grade, has 10 spelling words, same in 1st grade. Words are given on Monday, worksheets on them come home daily til Thursday, tested on Thursday and if not 100 taken again on Friday. How many spelling words does your dd have? If my son misses 2, that's an 80-not to par with his class. The drills really take less than 5 minutes. I drill him in the car, while he is playing the Wii, or I let my dd test him.

My kids have about 30 minutes a night of homework plus 30 minutes of reading. It has to be done as soon as they get home from school. Both of my kids are in sports practices on weekdays and I find no problem fitting homework in.

 

[npmommie]

Sorry, but you've chosen for the state to educate your children, so you will get these notes if your child is not performing the way the teacher expects. Like a previous poster said, if you are not happy with their requests/methods, then maybe homeschool/private school would be a better option.

I hope your daughter isn't "punished" for your apparent lack of respect for the school's approach to education and request for some study time at home - obviously not openly, but in gray areas, where the teacher's judgement is used, this teacher's judgement towards your daughter could be a bit clouded by your note.

yes she has chosen the state for education, but she still has a say, it is still her child.

People are very attached to their old-fashioned schooling ideas though. The truth is, the best and brightest kids often learn differently.

Instilling a love of learning is more important that churning out worksheets.

I'd hope the teacher is professional enough to not take it out on OP's daughter, but I wouldn't be surprised if the letter made the rounds in the faculty room.

wow that would be so unprofessional of a teacher. I thought teachers were supposed to be professional? So they are going to laugh in the back room about a parents concerns about their child who they love and care about more than anything in the world?? wow just wow

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Thanks for your opinions all - I asked for opinions because I truely (truly) wanted them. I am sure I shall have more dealing with this teacher, and I need any sort of advice, no matter if I agree with it or not.

No worries about the thread getting ugly, I am quite capable of letting differing opinons (opinions) roll off my back. No harm no foul.

I am truely not worried about my children academically. All of them have above-average reading levels, get all good marks on their report cards, and generally score much above average on all testing. They are happy, healthy and well adjusted, and DD15 (who I have apparently been "ruining" her whole life - who knew) has a 3.8 GPA, is involved in extra-curriculars, and is very very intelligent. Yes, it is easy to see that no homework in 1st grade spolied (spoiled) her for life.

As for all those who have suggested home-schooling, I have considered it. I know, however, that I would be doing my children a disservice, because after about 3rd grade, I simply don't have the skills or the resources they would need to succeed.

As has been posted, the school year is almost over - must just keep swimming!

honestly - hijacking my own thread a little, but that's ok - I can't believe how many of you seem to be so hardcore with your little ones in regards to formal schooling. I guess that just seems a little wild to me.

Ok, I agree, 5 minutes or so a night of studying spelling is no big deal. We do manage that several nights a week. Perhaps that wasn't made clear enough; its not that we don't do it at all, but just not every night.

And not all, but some of you.... HOURS a night of homework?? Really, for little kids?? When do they get time to be kids? And, honestly, homework should come before playtime for a 6 year old?? I am astounded. No wonder some kids are so stressed and worn out.

At 6, I am still up in the air about the benefits of formal schooling at all. At 6, I still want my kids to spend most of their time playing and just being kids.

Just another way of viewing things. My upbringing was very informal - child of hippie parents, I was homeschooled/unschooled till 3rd grade, then in a small private co-op school till 5th grade. Homework was minimal till then, and I still learned just fine. I was reading at a college level by 5th grade and graduated highschool with a 3.9 GPA. I guess it didn't hurt me.

So, which is it?
In the first post, you state that you only have third grade skills.
In the next post you were reading at a college level in 5th grade with a 3.9 GPA.

Suggestions:
1) Pull your child out of public school and enroll in a private Montessori. That is what you want, so go for it. If it means missing a Disney trip or two, that is ok.
2) Practice those spelling words. Those 2 out of 10 missed words a week add up. Then you have an adult constantly writes with 1/5 of their writing with errors.

I am never a spelling police, but since this is about how you don't feel correct spelling is important, it was interesting to point out the spelling errors in your posts.

And I have to agree with the others here. I wouldn't worry about sounding like "that" parent. You studied hard and passed that test with flying colors.

With some of the posts in this thread, why do I have the overwhelming urge to get the snow shovel out?

 

[HelenePA]

yes she has chosen the state for education, but she still has a say, it is still her child.

So what if all the parents want their child taught differently that what the teacher is teaching? could you fathom the chaos? 20 6yr olds running around yelling but my mommy says I dont have to listen to you or learn your way?