Letter to the teacher

[Sleepy]

When I was a paraprofessional many years ago, I was told that the general guideline in grade school should be approximately 1 minute of homework per year of age.

These guidelines came from?????????

Seriously, it can sometimes take 6 minutes just to get a 6 year old focused enough to do some serious work. My son was in kindergarten 12 years ago. Even back then a kingergartener reading requirement was 20 minutes a day. They had worksheets, etc to complete each day as well. Not to mention projects that required parental help. By 3rd grade, he had 4-5 hours a night. This was not some kid in gifted classes or in a top academic school. This was just the basic requirements for the district schools. Gone are the days of coming home and playing outside till the streetlight came on. Just the way things are whether we like it or not.

 

[KAMLEM]

I'm quite surprised when you say she has 8 hours of "formalized" schooling per day. I'm sorry but that sounds like an exaggeration. I have never heard of an elementary school where kids are in school for 8 hours.

 

[iheartnmr's]

hoo saiz spelin iz importen?

 

[Sorsha]

As happens many times on teh Dis, I guess this will turn into an "agree to disagree" thread.

It all comes down to how one views early childhood education and what is important in the early years. My views differ for some of yours, and that's Ok with me. I am willing to bet we would disagree on a WHOLE lot of other things too.

For what its worth, I don't much care.

Civil discussion is a good thing. But this one has probably gone as far as it needs to go. Some of us disagree, and that's OK.

As I pointed out earlier, my kids are doing very well. If I see that changing, then I will chnage how I do things. And, also for what its worth, I do not bring up my children to always adhere to rules and always do exactly what they are told no matter what. Rules are good, but so is free thought, and if you disagree with a rule, then peaceful disobedience has its place. Just how we do things, and I am sure no one agrees with that either. Its all good!

 

[SaraJayne]

These guidelines came from?????????

Seriously, it can sometimes take 6 minutes just to get a 6 year old focused enough to do some serious work. My son was in kindergarten 12 years ago. Even back then a kingergartener reading requirement was 20 minutes a day. They had worksheets, etc to complete each day as well. Not to mention projects that required parental help. By 3rd grade, he had 4-5 hours a night. This was not some kid in gifted classes or in a top academic school. This was just the basic requirements for the district schools. Gone are the days of coming home and playing outside till the streetlight came on. Just the way things are whether we like it or not.

Is that a typo? Four to five hours of homework a night in 3rd grade???

My DD is in 3rd grade and she never has more than 20 mins of homework a night...and that's when she has multiple work sheets.

A typical night of homework for her is one math sheet that take less than 10 mins to complete.

 

[si-am]

As happens many times on teh Dis, I guess this will turn into an "agree to disagree" thread.

It all comes down to how one views early childhood education and what is important in the early years. My views differ for some of yours, and that's Ok with me. I am willing to bet we would disagree on a WHOLE lot of other things too.

For what its worth, I don't much care.

Civil discussion is a good thing. But this one has probably gone as far as it needs to go. Some of us disagree, and that's OK.

As I pointed out earlier, my kids are doing very well. If I see that changing, then I will chnage how I do things. And, also for what its worth, I do not bring up my children to always adhere to rules and always do exactly what they are told no matter what. Rules are good, but so is free thought, and if you disagree with a rule, then peaceful disobedience has its place. Just how we do things, and I am sure no one agrees with that either. Its all good!

"Peaceful disobedience" doesn't really have a place in school.

 

[iheartnmr's]

Seriously though, if the daughter is missing 2 words a week in spelling, then shouldn't you srtive to spell the 2 words right per week? First grade spelling is pretty basic stuff. Words that will be used forever. Perhaps missing 2 is ok to you but maybe she's below class average.

Is this a spelling test per day or per week? If it's per week, then spend one night for 15 minutes making sure she can spell every single word. If she can't, then pracise that word again the next night. That should only take a few minutes. This isn't rocket science. It's not all that time consuming in the overall scheme of things.

Do you consider home reading books homework too?

I think I'd re-evaluate your priorities a little.

 

[HelenePA]

OP please update us what happens tonight when your dd comes home from school... I can't wait to see how this plays out.. seriously

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I think that everyone has different opinions how much homework is too much. You are entitled to your opinion and whatever works for your family. I do, however, think that your letter is (was? I missed whether it has been sent) a mistake. The teacher doesn't need or want that much information about your life and habits. A simple: "Thank you for your concern. Can you give me some feedback as to why you think she needs extra study time? I am satisfied with her progress so far and think her grades reflect that."

 

[npmommie]

As I pointed out earlier, my kids are doing very well. If I see that changing, then I will chnage how I do things. And, also for what its worth, I do not bring up my children to always adhere to rules and always do exactly what they are told no matter what. Rules are good, but so is free thought, and if you disagree with a rule, then peaceful disobedience has its place. Just how we do things, and I am sure no one agrees with that either. Its all good!

I personally would not have outlined my schedule for her. Its really not her business and you don't owe her an explanation.
I liked the short sweet letter NH disney mom posted a few posts back.
to the point.
I also agree that play time is important and downtime.
we homeschool but we are always off to activities here and there, we have mastered the art of schooling in places other than home at the kitchen table!
yes spelling while in the tub, on the way to an activity , etc etc.
learning does not have to be sit at the table with the book out kind of experience. it can happen on the go.

so the suggestions for bath time and in the car are good ones. and it also will probably become more fun for her if its done in a different way than "school"
good luck

 

[DVCLiz]

As happens many times on teh Dis, I guess this will turn into an "agree to disagree" thread.

It all comes down to how one views early childhood education and what is important in the early years. My views differ for some of yours, and that's Ok with me. I am willing to bet we would disagree on a WHOLE lot of other things too.

For what its worth, I don't much care.

Civil discussion is a good thing. But this one has probably gone as far as it needs to go. Some of us disagree, and that's OK.

As I pointed out earlier, my kids are doing very well. If I see that changing, then I will chnage how I do things. And, also for what its worth, I do not bring up my children to always adhere to rules and always do exactly what they are told no matter what. Rules are good, but so is free thought, and if you disagree with a rule, then peaceful disobedience has its place. Just how we do things, and I am sure no one agrees with that either. Its all good!

My real question to you is this - when does all that stuff (decompressing in the bathtub, gymnastics, etc.) that is so important right now that you can't fit any homework in become expendable? I mean, if your first grader needs an hour in the bathtub to decompress (and I have a water sprite who uses the old "I need to relax a little and take a bath" routine to avoid her homework, too - that line is as old as the hills and you are being played, but that's another thread) when will you say, "Sorry, no more long baths - it's time for your homework now?" At some point you just have to stop indulging your child and make her do the work if you want her to be successful in the classroom.

If it works for you I'm sure you are fine with it but if you are going to have your child in a formal educational situation she needs to learn to follow the school's rules and expectations, not yours based on outdated paraprofessional training.

 

[castleview]

My kids have been given 10-15 minutes of homework each night since first grade. I am grateful for this as they now know the routine. Get off the bus, homework at the kitchen table, rest of the day to play or go to activities. This year, I don't even have to worry about the fourth grader as she has great study habits by now. OP, what will you do when your DD is in middle and high school and the homework is at least two hours?

 

[kaytieeldr]

hoo saiz spelin iz importen?

Wlel, arlepnatpy snelpilg ins't as ipnaortmt as eryvbdoey tkhnis, scine I konw ecxlaty waht you maen

 

[ADisneyQueen]

If your kids have a long bus ride, can you pick them up at school? This would give them some extra time at home. I don't want my kids to ride for such a long time, so we drive them to school and my older one gets picked up after.

 

[Sorsha]

honestly - hijacking my own thread a little, but that's ok - I can't believe how many of you seem to be so hardcore with your little ones in regards to formal schooling. I guess that just seems a little wild to me.

Ok, I agree, 5 minutes or so a night of studying spelling is no big deal. We do manage that several nights a week. Perhaps that wasn't made clear enough; its not that we don't do it at all, but just not every night.

And not all, but some of you.... HOURS a night of homework?? Really, for little kids?? When do they get time to be kids? And, honestly, homework should come before playtime for a 6 year old?? I am astounded. No wonder some kids are so stressed and worn out.

At 6, I am still up in the air about the benefits of formal schooling at all. At 6, I still want my kids to spend most of their time playing and just being kids.

Just another way of viewing things. My upbringing was very informal - child of hippie parents, I was homeschooled/unschooled till 3rd grade, then in a small private co-op school till 5th grade. Homework was minimal till then, and I still learned just fine. I was reading at a college level by 5th grade and graduated highschool with a 3.9 GPA. I guess it didn't hurt me.

 

[jodifla]

I just finished student teaching with a full day kindergarten, by the time I left in Dec only 2 had turned 6, so they were a very young group.

Personally, I do agree with you. The amount of work they were given was insane, and they had such little playtime (15 minutes of play inside and 10-15 outside after lunch IF it was nice out and gym only two times a week). Once a week they had Art, Music, Computers, Spanish, and Library.They also had snack time, but MANY times they were working through snacktime, yes an oreo in one hand and a pencil in the other. Needless to say by 1 these kids were DONE! They were tired, losing interest, can't keep their hands to themselves, etc. For homework they were given 2 worksheets (one math sheet and a phonics/letter sheet) and they had to go over 4-5 sight words. I just felt bad for them. I mean it's full day and I understand the teacher's POV too, keep them busy, have an effective lesson ready so they are on task, but I can only imagine it is hard when you 5 and 6 to constantly be sitting and doing some sort of work, KWIM? 20 years ago I went to Kindergarten and it was 1/2 day (thankfully that will be what DD does in the fall, b/c I could not imagine her in school all day).

When parent teacher conferences rolled around I distinctly remember 2 parents comments.
1 set of parents said that their daughter would come home @ 3:30, have a snack, take a nap til 6, have dinner, take a bath and go back to bed. She was so exhausted, the poor thing. Her mom said this continued the 1st month of school and when conferences rolled around in Nov she said she was still doing it about once or twice a week.

Another parent said her son just would cry everyday that he did not want to go and it was too long for him. Seriously, this little guy was a sweetheart and never complained to the teachers, but after I heard this I felt so bad for him.

IDK, maybe I just saw my DD is all of these kids as she will be starting school in Sept, but the days were just pretty long for them.

So, I do see where you are coming from. We actually had one little girl (she was one of 6!!) who was bright and there were some night that she was too tired to finish her homework and her mom would write and put a post it on the homework explaining. My co-op teacher just kinda said, "well you can't force them and if you do it will only upset them," and left it at that. I think if this type of thing should happen again I would just kind of say that is passing to the teacher. Just say we do as much as we can.

This is a good post. In my son's all-day K class, I noticed the same thing. Kids not really ready to do all the "sit down, shut up" work the teacher wanted. Particularly boys. Now these kids did have more down time and play time, but still, the lessons weren't all that interesting or engaging, and their minds really wandered after about 15 minutes, even though the teacher insisted on almost an hour of circle time/class meeting, followed by an hour of centers.

I couldn't get my son to do homework in K. He just sat at the table and cried. So, we didn't do it.

Come 1st grade, homework was came a bit easier, and he would work on it with some arguing. Now in 2nd grade, he does all his homework with minimal complaining.

Some teachers/school are out of control with homework. While I'm not a big fan of homeschooling, I sure can see why people feel compelled to do it.

 

[brockash]

Ummm yeah interesting... I'm all for play but doing 15min of school work at home never killed anyone.. get her out of the bath after 45min and work on her homework.. this is going to get nasty fast.. just a warning

I have to agree. I mean, they're spelling words; it really doesn't take that much time, and is prett normal. My ds has had spelling words for the last 2 years and we have a pretty hectic schedule, as he plays a lot of sports, but we've only skipped doing spelling words twice in those 2 years. We do them every day after school (usually when he's eating his snack.) It's just something that has to be done. I think it's also a good lesson for him to learn, that sometimes you have to do things that you don't always want to do. I'm curious though as to why the teacher would have sent a note home. My ds's teacher, I'm guessing, never even knew that we had skipped practicing spelling those 2 days. What kind of grades does your dd get on her spelling tests each week? I can't imagine a teacher spending her time writing a note home for a student that's getting even just average grades on the tests. If she's not doing well on the spelling tests every week; does it not bother you? Do you not think she's falling behind? To me, I'd be very concerned that most kids are now going to know how to spell the words, but my child would not. Also, what grade is your dd in? I see she's 6, but that could put her at kindergarten or 1st. My ds didn't have actual spelling words in kindergarten(he had site words,) and I would think that spelling words in kindergarten would be a little soon. How many words does your dd have? Can you give us an example of the type of words? Just wondering if the teacher is off-base with her expectations or not.

 

[tinatark]

Sorry, but you've chosen for the state to educate your children, so you will get these notes if your child is not performing the way the teacher expects. Like a previous poster said, if you are not happy with their requests/methods, then maybe homeschool/private school would be a better option.

I hope your daughter isn't "punished" for your apparent lack of respect for the school's approach to education and request for some study time at home - obviously not openly, but in gray areas, where the teacher's judgement is used, this teacher's judgement towards your daughter could be a bit clouded by your note.

 

[daughtersrus]

If you don't like her teaching style, did you mean it when you said...

************************

Dear Mrs. XZY,

Thank you so much for all you do for all of our children. Your guidance and your skill show every day. Caitlyn has made great strides this year, and I am very thankful that she has had you for her teacher.

 

[kaytieeldr]

yes spelling while in the tub, on the way to an activity , etc etc.
learning does not have to be sit at the table with the book out kind of experience. it can happen on the go.

Something just occurred to me... the children spend almost two hours outdoors playing after school... then they have a leisurely family dinner... then the six year old decompresses for up to an hour in the tub? Decompresses from WHAT?

No, it's a rhetorical question. I don't want or expect an answer. The family's personal lives are NOT our business or concern. I'm just pointing out - a six year old who is so stressed that she requires a LONG period EACH evening to decompress, to the exclusion of being able to perform apparently simple homework assignments, there's something more serious going on here.