Lets talk about our teenagers!

[babytrees]

O.K. I am talking, um, venting about teen #2, ds 18. You can read my threads if you can find them. Hmm, lets see, get up this morning and see he didnt put the towels in the dryer like he was asked. He is walking around without his aircast boot on his broken foot (you know that thread where he kicked his brother in the head for eating his disney candy) , he is refusing to talk to me, I took my van keys with me to make sure he wouldnt take it when I was out yest with dh and other ds at the eye dr. and he still hasnt found his yearbook etc. etc. etc. Oh will this ever end. Yes he forgot his id and couldnt take his college math test and had to reschedule it., now they want him to take an on line writing test to skip some class so we will see if he will do that. Out of all our 3 teens this one is the biggest challenge so far. Wow.

this is the best place to vent....even if we haven't been there done that we still have the teens

 

[marciemi]

DS16 has his girlfriend over (they went out to celebrate their 16 month anniversary today!). They asked if we wanted to play a game. I suggested that we could go out in the hot tub and play UNO (we have a waterproof version). My son said, totally calmly, "she can't; she has a friend visiting".

Okay, I admit - it even took me a minute. Especially coming from my son. I'm just completely like "okay, HOW and WHY do YOU know that?!!"

I know, I already vented about this a few pages back. I guess I should look on the bright side - the "friend" visiting has to be a good thing, right?!

 

[babytrees]

DS16 has his girlfriend over (they went out to celebrate their 16 month anniversary today!). They asked if we wanted to play a game. I suggested that we could go out in the hot tub and play UNO (we have a waterproof version). My son said, totally calmly, "she can't; she has a friend visiting".

Okay, I admit - it even took me a minute. Especially coming from my son. I'm just completely like "okay, HOW and WHY do YOU know that?!!"

I know, I already vented about this a few pages back. I guess I should look on the bright side - the "friend" visiting has to be a good thing, right?!

okay EWWWWWWW!!!

That's one way to look at it...but I think I would have a conversation with them about how and why he knows her cycle...blechy!!

 

[marciemi]

okay EWWWWWWW!!!

That's one way to look at it...but I think I would have a conversation with them about how and why he knows her cycle...blechy!!

Yeah, that was kind of my thought. After 20 years of marriage it's still not the kind of thing I share with my DH unless necessary!

 

[Cindyluwho]

DS16 has his girlfriend over (they went out to celebrate their 16 month anniversary today!). They asked if we wanted to play a game. I suggested that we could go out in the hot tub and play UNO (we have a waterproof version). My son said, totally calmly, "she can't; she has a friend visiting".

Okay, I admit - it even took me a minute. Especially coming from my son. I'm just completely like "okay, HOW and WHY do YOU know that?!!"

I know, I already vented about this a few pages back. I guess I should look on the bright side - the "friend" visiting has to be a good thing, right?!

I'm guessing that it's just something that her family is more comfortable talking about and that has rubbed off on your son. And good for him! We don't live in some medieval society where you're not allowed to even mention that something like that happens. I'm very impressed that your son cares enough to know that about the girl. It doesn't imply to me, in any way, that they are sexually active, just that he cares what his gal is feeling or going through at any given time.

 

[cruisnfamily]

DS16 has his girlfriend over (they went out to celebrate their 16 month anniversary today!). They asked if we wanted to play a game. I suggested that we could go out in the hot tub and play UNO (we have a waterproof version). My son said, totally calmly, "she can't; she has a friend visiting".

Okay, I admit - it even took me a minute. Especially coming from my son. I'm just completely like "okay, HOW and WHY do YOU know that?!!"

I know, I already vented about this a few pages back. I guess I should look on the bright side - the "friend" visiting has to be a good thing, right?!

okay EWWWWWWW!!!

That's one way to look at it...but I think I would have a conversation with them about how and why he knows her cycle...blechy!!

He probably knows because the teens talk about this all the time very openly no matter who's around.

DD15 will be sitting at the dinner table and make some comment about having cramps from her period in front of DS12 and DH. I've tried many times to tell her that's not something you discuss in front of boys/men nor is it something you casually discuss at the dinner table but with no luck. DD15 will randomly talk about her period, her friend's period, etc at any given moment no matter who is listening. Apparently it's not a private thing anymore.

A friend who is a high school math teach(a MALE HS math teacher) says the kids tell him all the time that they have to use the bathroom because they have their period...he's like "I don't wanna know about that".

And my last thought on the subject....I guess we all now know that his girlfriend doesn't use tampons either.

 

[dreamn_Disney]

My dd is 17 and for the most part a very good kid. We have our differences like her new hair.

We have senior pics coming up and asked to color the tips. I said sure thinking it would be the tips it would grow and get cut off before the pics. Her and her friend got a little carried away. She then tells me that isn't the best part. It actually glows under black light Over all I feel if this is the worst thing she does I am a very lucky mom with a very smart and good kid.

 

[lucyanna girl]

My dd is 17 and for the most part a very good kid. We have our differences like her new hair.

We have senior pics coming up and asked to color the tips. I said sure thinking it would be the tips it would grow and get cut off before the pics. Her and her friend got a little carried away. She then tells me that isn't the best part. It actually glows under black light Over all I feel if this is the worst thing she does I am a very lucky mom with a very smart and good kid.

It's just hair, who cares! I've never been the type to get bent out of shape over something like that. Sounds like you have a great daughter.

Penny

 

[babytrees]

My dd is 17 and for the most part a very good kid. We have our differences like her new hair.

We have senior pics coming up and asked to color the tips. I said sure thinking it would be the tips it would grow and get cut off before the pics. Her and her friend got a little carried away. She then tells me that isn't the best part. It actually glows under black light Over all I feel if this is the worst thing she does I am a very lucky mom with a very smart and good kid.

I love it ....but I am such a weird parent that way

 

[dreamn_Disney]

What do you guys think about this email I sent to the vice principal? (Sorry about all the details in the brainstorm list.)



I tried to keep it non-confrontational and cooperative, but also express my dismay at the weak/light schedule they want DS to accept. Did I succeed?

Also, here it is 1:45 pm and I haven't heard from him yet. Looks like I'll be losing sleep. (j/k)

Very well written. I feel your pain. My dd has a counselor who is busier bashing her old school than getting her schedule straight. If he has his way she will have the equivalent of 2 years of government class and only 3 years of science. She also did not do well her freshman year and worked very hard to get her grade point average up. He keeps making comments about how much stress it will be trying to keep up the grades and she should cut back her more difficult classes. She has done well the last 2 years and even took college courses last year. He had no right to say this to her. She will not do well if she is not challenged. I told him exactly what types of classes I wanted her in this year and he ignored all of it.

 

[Ashes8380]

DS16 has his girlfriend over (they went out to celebrate their 16 month anniversary today!). They asked if we wanted to play a game. I suggested that we could go out in the hot tub and play UNO (we have a waterproof version). My son said, totally calmly, "she can't; she has a friend visiting".

Okay, I admit - it even took me a minute. Especially coming from my son. I'm just completely like "okay, HOW and WHY do YOU know that?!!"

I know, I already vented about this a few pages back. I guess I should look on the bright side - the "friend" visiting has to be a good thing, right?!

I'm only 24 and obviously don't have teens, but I'm a teen librarian and find some interesting things on threads like this.

While I agree with much of what's been said, I do have to say I don't think it's a big deal that he knew her friend was visiting. It's generally painfully obvious when teen girls have their period, based on mood alone. Or her family could be comfortable talking about such things. I used to get really sick, so everyone knew when my friend was around haha. I don't think this is taboo at all - better than him being freaked out by normal bodily functions I'd think.

 

[babytrees]

I'm only 24 and obviously don't have teens, but I'm a teen librarian and find some interesting things on threads like this.

While I agree with much of what's been said, I do have to say I don't think it's a big deal that he knew her friend was visiting. It's generally painfully obvious when teen girls have their period, based on mood alone. Or her family could be comfortable talking about such things. I used to get really sick, so everyone knew when my friend was around haha. I don't think this is taboo at all - better than him being freaked out by normal bodily functions I'd think.

I agree with you that it is a bodily function and it is painfully obvious most times....but I think my problem with it was it came out of the boyfriends mouth not hers...that would be embarrassing if my daughter's boyfriend said that out loud. It also, to me, signals a level of intimacy/togetherness that I am just not comfortable with.

 

[cruisnfamily]

OK, just had to vent.

DD15 is steaming mad at me because I won't drop her and a friend at the beach as I promised I would...Wanna know why I won't do it? Because IT IS POURING DOWN RAIN OUTSIDE! But she still wants to go. The infamous "everybody" is still going to the beach even in the rain says her. Well, I'm just not doing it. Sometimes I think teenagers are insane!!

 

[babytrees]

OK, just had to vent.

DD15 is steaming mad at me because I won't drop her and a friend at the beach as I promised I would...Wanna know why I won't do it? Because IT IS POURING DOWN RAIN OUTSIDE! But she still wants to go. The infamous "everybody" is still going to the beach even in the rain says her. Well, I'm just not doing it. Sometimes I think teenagers are insane!!

But Moooooom!!!

Logic and Teenagers are not compatible.

 

[ilovefishsticks4]

My sister has a 17 yr old and i dont think he does drugs but she caught him drinking once.

 

[marciemi]

Thanks everyone for the support on the "friend" thing. Good to see different points of view. It was just more of a shock/surprise to me than anything else!

Now for the next part of the ongoing saga. At least a month ago, we mentioned to GF and her dad that we were going to Wisconsin Dells (Waterpark capital of the world!) camping this weekend and that she was welcome to join us. I pointed out that although we have a popup (which is tight with the 5 of us, let alone 6), we would bring a tent and have DS16 and dad sleep out there. So that in the camper, we'd have GF in a twin and me in the double on one side of the camper, and then my younger two boys on the other side (there is a curtain that comes across).

Dad said that they were going up to their cabin that weekend and that was the end of the discussion. Now suddenly as of yesterday, it turns out that her older sister can't get the time off from work so they're not going. Which means that GF can come with us. But here's the weird part. Her dad's condition is that SHE must sleep out in the tent - BY HERSELF!

Okay, maybe I'm a weenie, but I wouldn't sleep out in a tent by myself in a state campground (read wilderness). I'm not certain I would even let one of my boys (I was considering having the older two boys out there but decided I'd feel better with dad there instead). And I KNOW I wouldn't let a daughter sleep out there alone! Not to mention that now if DS wants to sneak out and be with her, it's made much easier. In my situation, GF would have to sneak past me and DS would have to climb over dad to get together. Now DS (who usually sleeps on the floor in the popup) just has to pop the door and sneak out. I guess what I'm thinking is that the tent is going as close to the camper as physically possible, but does this seem weird to you or just me?!

Edited to add that her friend must be gone since we'll be spending all weekend at waterparks!

 

[TEENEE]

It kind of sounds like gf's dad is not familiar with pop up campers. He may not realize that his daughter would have privacy. I completely agree with your arrangement. The other option would be for you to sleep in the tent with gf. My son has slept (alone) in a tent near our pop up since he was 5. My dd has done it since she was about 10. She is not as independent as her big bother.

 

[SadieDog]

I'm guessing that it's just something that her family is more comfortable talking about and that has rubbed off on your son. And good for him! We don't live in some medieval society where you're not allowed to even mention that something like that happens. I'm very impressed that your son cares enough to know that about the girl. It doesn't imply to me, in any way, that they are sexually active, just that he cares what his gal is feeling or going through at any given time.

I agree with you. My daughters boyfriend knew. It was not something to be embarassed about or try to hide. It's completely normal. My DD usually has cramps and does not feel herself for a few days. He usually would ask what was wrong and she would tell him. She was honest instead of trying to hide it.

 

[SadieDog]

Dad said that they were going up to their cabin that weekend and that was the end of the discussion. Now suddenly as of yesterday, it turns out that her older sister can't get the time off from work so they're not going. Which means that GF can come with us. But here's the weird part. Her dad's condition is that SHE must sleep out in the tent - BY HERSELF!

Okay, maybe I'm a weenie, but I wouldn't sleep out in a tent by myself in a state campground (read wilderness). I guess what I'm thinking is that the tent is going as close to the camper as physically possible, but does this seem weird to you or just me?!

Edited to add that her friend must be gone since we'll be spending all weekend at waterparks!

I have been camping in the middle of the woods too and wouldn't want to sleep in a tent alone either. I would not want my daughter alone in a tent. I would have her in the camper or sharing the tent.

 

[mamacatnv]

I think I would be leaving GF at home. It is one thing to take along a friend but when the friend comes with so many restrictions that the rest of the family has to juggle their sleeping arrangements or (Mom) not sleep because you have 1 eye on them at all times, then it is time to step in and say she isn't going.

As to your DS being aware of her "friend". I think this is pretty common, I know in our house it is. My DH blanches at the thought of the subject, even if it is me commenting, but he is old and from the generation of "we don't discuss those things". I will make a comment every once in awhile just to see DH squirm
My DS is of the generation that is very open about most "taboo" subjects and does not flinch at the conversation. Now, the one time I called home and asked him to bring me a couple of tampons (I was at the school snack bar and he was on his way in for the game) I thought he was going to die.......he got his GF to do it! A week or so later, I found his GF's girlie stuff in his glove box of his car