Let's Debate Over-Protecting Our Kids

[dogluva]

I do call you judgmental because you don't have a freakin' clue why she wanted someone you just make judgmental assumptions about it. You said very clearly you did not know the girl so you don't have a darn clue why the parent needed someone or what the circumstances are.

It's rather sad because I suspect if you then discovered the girl was getting into trouble/doing bad things you would then stand in judgment of the mother for not doing anything..so she is darned either way in your eyes.

Many states have labor laws that prevent 14 year olds from working and most retail places do not hire younger than 16. I didn't say anything or ask about why your kid worked (little defensive about that are we?)...just asked how they were able to as in my experience it is not legally allowed but obviously laws vary by state. I started babysitting at 12 but could not work at a store or other employer until 16.

Uh, I think calling me "defensive" is a little "judgmental". You sure like to throw that word around so watch being judgemental with others.

I never said I didn't know why the girl at 13 needed a babysitter. No reason, her mother wanted one for her. She was never in trouble.

 

[NotUrsula]

I was a straight A student in college and it took me until college to figure out how to do it. I had to change my mindset and run school like it was my business. I had to stop the "oh well, I screwed up and missed as assignment" attitude and stop the "oh well, I studied and did my best" attitude. I had to start paying attention to my grades like never before, and yes I had to be on top of them everyday. I had to hound teachers about details (my son does not do this). When you drop to a B, you need to be doing the math to figure out what grade you need on the next test to bring you up to an A. It is highly motivational. My wanting to confirm the policy, wasn't to try to save my son, it was to teach him how to handle a mistake and try to do everything in his power to fix it. You can't get all A's or get in into a top-notch university without this attitude.

.. And you know, not getting straight A's or getting into a so-called top notch university really isn't the end of the world, and obviously, your son doesn't agree with your attitude about it. Maybe that's because he's young and foolish, or maybe it is because he really doen't think those things are as important as you do.

Your interaction with the teacher absolutely telegraphed a desire to get around classroom policy by finding a legal loophole. ("It's not in the written rules, therefore it can't be enforceable.") Sometimes mistakes simply cannot be fixed. Your son was willing to accept that as the price of staying off his teacher's caca list, but you pushed it, and I have to tell you, businesslike or not, that was a mistake at this stage of the game, just as much a mistake as your son having blown off the assignment in the first place. (Now, if his teacher had invited him to do make-up work and he had refused to bother, THAT would be worth reaming jr. over, but refusing to take no for an answer is danged annoying, and not something that I really want to encourage my teen to be doing, in any context.)

My kids like to think that apologizing is enough, that as long as you say that you are sorry afterward it doesn't matter that you did something boneheaded or ignored a rule. I think it is very important to learn that when the chips are down, most big mistakes in life really cannot be fixed. The key lesson IMO is to learn to stop and weigh the possible consequences before you decide to just do as you please.