Let the Prom Drama begin....Like Aurora, her dress keeps changing

[mamacatnv]

Good Morning Ladies

Woke this morning to snow, about 1" but lots and lots of icy roads. Last nights games was cooollllldddddd - the wind was blowing, burrr. I sent DH off to Wal-Mart yesterday at lunch to pick up 2 sleeping bags. Ours are all in our pop-up camper which is still in winter storage (an may be for awhile ) anyway, I tried DD's slumber bag a couple of nights ago and was too cold. DH got the new bags, we were both warm and toasty at DD's game and I am sure the envy of all the parents. We have been playing baseball/softball & football with the kids for 10 years now, we know how to keep warm!

Yes, I am in the Reno area - far removed from Vegas and less than an hour from Lake Tahoe depending on which shore (North or South)

I love the way your kids are approaching the "asking" - I guess we are a little boring or unimaginative out here in the sticks I don't know what the tux is going to run. I know his JA tux runs right at $110 and he gets a discount for the prom if we go to the same place. My DS is really tall and built like a tank. I pay the extra bucks to get him the longer style jackets because they are so much more flattering on him.

Do you guys tear up when you image what they look like all dressed in their formal attire? I was getting mushy as I was typing about the tux, geesh!

Sandy:
I'm doing Weight Watchers too, I want to get into a smaller bathing suit for our summer water park trip and also not run the risk of getting my butt stuck in a tube.
I know what you mean about cooking for your family without sabbatoging yourself. My DH is a meat/tater kinda guy. He does not eat much in the veggie dept, will not touch cheese, butter, cream sauce or anything that originated in a box. He likes meat, plain potatos, pasta (spaghetti) or rice and bread. His idea of a salad is iceberg lettuce with 1000 island dressing, he looks at me sideways when I try to add: cucumbers, chopped peppers or celery.
He will eat peas - wow
He loves the sweet things: Teriyaki, sweet & sour and BBQ (I don't)

In order to keep me on track and keep us from eating out I have resorted to buying a lot of the already prepared meat entree's from Costco. We are especially fond of: The Pot Roast, the Carnitas, Chile Verde, Chili Colorado, chicken breast strips & Tri Tip. Just defrost and add to a salad and I am good to go.

Tonight we are having the Carnitas. I will pick up some small corn tortillas, make a cucumber & tomato salsa add shredded lettuce and rice for the family and dinner is done. I am well within my points, the family is happy and it is tasty.

Costco meat entree's are relatively low in fat (for beef) and the "point" value is really decent.

Pam:
I don't know, shrimp & pasta w/alfredo sauce sounds heavenly to me and is far removed from hot dogs and tater tots. I don't follow AI but it would be cool to recognize one of the contestants. Why did your City give her a "key" is she from your area?

The schooling decisions are so tough and sooooo expensive. It is just stupid what a decent education can cost.

Don't tell my DD about the Mc'D's sale, that child would live on burgers and burgers alone if we let her! She had the word Hamburger on her spelling test last week and even she said, "now, that is one word I don't have to study" Oh the joys of being 8!

Well girls, sounds like other than the weather everything is right in the world with our teens (for the moment) I think it is because from what I have read on this thread you guys are great Moms!

Sandy, Keep us posted on Poster Boy - I'm dying to know the results of that one.

I think my DS may be working up the nerve to actually ask someone instead of being "assigned a date". I'm not sure he is being just a little evasive which means his brain is working on something...........

Gotta run, I am interviewing candidates this morning for a position we have open

 

[FINFAN]

DD just said on the way home from work last night that she doesn't know how to tell "jerk" that she has a date....I was like, WHAT!?!?!?!?!? WHY do you even owe him the information? He has been trashing her all over school, spouting off to the group how PROUD he is of himself for being able to ignore her...this is someone she feels a responsiblity toward? But that's DD, she said that it's the right thing to do, for him to hear from her, not the grapevine...so, they have lunch together and PE together, so maybe she will bring it up...not sure. I hate for it to cloud how happy she was when she found out Art Guy would go...I told her to just enjoy that for a few days and then be a nice person...(fine line between nice and doormat, I reminded her) AND WAIT TILL YOU GET A LOAD OF THIS.....
This morning I had an email from the mom of jerk....saying how disappointed she is in my DD, that she thought her son was dealing with being left "high and dry" as a mature adult and that DD's actions will come back to haunt her. And good luck in finding anyone as wonderful as their son to be a part of her sorry life!
I was going to post about it, but have been in shock and stewing over it for hours.( on the up-side, my house is getting very clean as I take my frustration out that way) If I had seen that before DD left for school, I don't know what I would've done. She does not need to know that parents that she respected and saw often now think this trash about her...yet, I wish she could see how the apple didn't fall far from the tree. I wil have to let her do what she wants...he is/was her friend and she is the one who has to deal with him at school, and more than likely in other situations as they are in the same group and had talked everyday online etc.
DH says they are just mad as they had their DS married off to DD...he was asking what colleges she was planning on, and for kicks we told her to chancge it up and see what he woud say...and sure enough, if she added a school, he added a school...asked her major, then it was HIS same major...even tho he hasn't taken any of the graphic courses or art courses needed in HS to consider a degree an Animation or Graphics. It is just draining and sad. When I forwarded the email to DH at work, he said good thing this all hit the fan...that he is not comfortable with DD ever entering that home again...like I said, general parties, stuff, they will still be around each other as DD isn't about to bail on her friends, and he is having too much fun moaning to the group for attention...he's not going anywhere. Poor Art Guy...he will more than likely take off running!
So, there it is...even when I try and forget about it, a new drama door opens.
Time will handle it all eventually, I do not plan on adding any fuel to the fire by responding, nor does DH...but man, maybe the kid was just fine with being friends and the parents were pushing the "relationship" ? DD was saying how he had changed the last month or so, and getting all full of himself and picky about stuff,stubborn...but he should've talked to her about it if he had any issues w/her.
All I know is DD cannot stand conflict so she will try and resove all of this, and she is an internalizer, so will try and deal with things on her own. Like I said, small but mighty...
well, back t dusting and then the vacuum...butboy are my bathrooms sparkling! Rare is the time when I have the whole house clean at once!


Pam

 

[Maleficent13]

I haven't chimed in on this thread before, but I've been lurking just to follow all the prom fun! Anyway, had to respond to the last post about his parents: since when do parents get involved in normal high school relationships?? Talk about taking helicopter parenting to the extreme.

Your DD sounds like she has a bright future ahead of her...you must be proud! :

 

[Sandy V.]

Mamacatnv, your sleeping bag idea was so good. We did something similar a few years ago at DD's soccer game during a spring snowstorm. One of the other dads brought a propane heater with him - the guy was VERY popular that night.

My DH is not fussy at all about what I serve, as long as it's ready when he gets home (he works about 2 hours longer than I do so I'm the cook). DS is the fussy one and he's so skinny in the first place, I make something different for him that I know he will eat (yes, I spoil the kid!). I don't belong to Costco, but I do belong to Sam's - will have to make a "run" there and pick up some stuff. I've got a little over 20 pounds to go to make my goal weight and stop waddling!

Sounds like your son may just have some sort of prom plan up his sleeve - keep us updated.

Pam, what on EARTH is up with these parents?!?!?! Can you say "overinvolved"? The e-mail was uncalled for. You are definitely taking the high road by not responding, but I would certainly be mad too. Your daughter is a VERY mature and classy girl as to how she's handled all of this.

I'm like you though - when I get upset or angry - I clean. My kids can tell to keep out of my way when I grab the toilet scrubbing brush!!

Maleficent13, you are always welcome to join in (as is ANYONE else!!)

Everyone stay warm - I have to go (work calls ) but I will update this afternoon on "posterboy"'s success.

 

[FINFAN]

Helicoptering...I forgot about that phrase! Thanks for the laugh Malificent13! And welcome...I am sure there are MANY Prom parents out there...could show us the ropes!
I honestly do not know what to make of it...I mean, we have talked often with his folks, met up with them and the parents of the other kids for various festivals, volunteered together at the school...it is pretty awkward actually...and as a matter of fact I have another committment this weekend that I had originally asked this boys mom if she wanted to join in( asked last month before this whole mess started)...I am chairing an event and need over 40 volunteers...anyway, I never did hear back from her, but it was sort of open ended...come if you could help sort of thing..now I don't know what to expect. Maybe I 'd bring reinforcements!
Oh well, at least I am not the only one who thinks it was crossing the line to send the email, but I am second guessing the boys reasoning for acting as he has... DD was so hurt thinking he had played her...that their friendship was all a crock... but maybe it was the boy who was getting played by his folks? Or a little of both? But that doesn't excuse his behavior of late...he is almost 17 and does have some common sense. At any rate, looks like a bbit of distance will be a good thing, and then on to summer, wher the daily face/to/face won't be happening.
Sandy...OMG! I NEED to see a toilet wand waving Smilie on the board now!
I am so glad that I had you guys to chat with as I am worried that I am the "Helicopter parent"...that I was informed of too much information and had better not influence DD one way or another...this is why it is good that DD's date is set...so now the focus can change to DD and her friends getting all their arrangements set. One of the other moms called and booked a limo for 10, and good thing, as they no longer have availability for that day...and our dance isn't for another month!
Now, on to you guys...can't wait to hear about the poster...and that's an idea I hadn't heard of before!
mamncatnv...oh yeah...the wheels are spinnng...and how fun for your DS! And like I said, DD just blurted it out..no fun plan...so not to worry...sometimes the direct approach is best! Yes, the attire is mind-blowing...my blue jean girl has 4 formals hanging in her closet to decide from...and picking out colleges....I still think I am 25 and I am 44...it's funny , my oldest id keeping me young, and my youngest is making me feel old! He's a dynamo...physically wears me out. Which reminds me that I'd better enjoy my clean house this afternoon as DS has a PigPen-like quality...whatever rooms he enters instantly gets messed up..who knew there were SOOOO many legos ! And currently we have the WDW mnorail, castle, contemporary and trainstation set up in the living room, and you know it's bad karma to mess w/ WDW!
ETA: I realize it was wrong of me to post about he email online, I guess I crossed a privacy barrier now that I think about it...I was so shocked tho! So , lesson learned...by me, I guess i ma no better than her by moaning publicly..but it has helped!

 

[mamacatnv]

Pam and Sandy:
Will you guys please, please come visit my house so that I can do something to tick you both off I will leave toilet brushes & mops handy for your added convenience If you carpooled you could get more done

When you have calmed down, I'll fix dinner and make the drinks!

ooopps, gotta go, another candidate arrived

BRB

 

[FINFAN]

Drinks? Did you mention liquid refreshments? HMMMMMM, I'll have to get Sandy's take on things. To me it is any no brainer, cleaning's way easier for me than cooking...good luck with the candidates!


Pam

 

[Sandy V.]

Pam and Sandy:
Will you guys please, please come visit my house so that I can do something to tick you both off I will leave toilet brushes & mops handy for your added convenience If you carpooled you could get more done

When you have calmed down, I'll fix dinner and make the drinks!

Drinks? Did you mention liquid refreshments? HMMMMMM, I'll have to get Sandy's take on things. To me it is any no brainer, cleaning's way easier for me than cooking...good luck with the candidates!


Pam

Hey, I'm in. Pam, you can swing by Colorado on your way to Reno and we'll go visit mamacatnv. I'll clean any day, as long as I don't have to do menu planning and grocery shopping. The actual cooking isn't so bad.

And as for drinks . . . how are your margaritas?!?!

Oh, yeah - prom update. DS has a date to the prom!!! Girlfriend loved the posters on her car, and "of course" said "Yes." DS was much relieved and is very happy. I was too - until I realized that I will be probably be enlisted to find a restaurant, make reservations, and investigate limos rentals. So looks like I know what I'll be doing over the next few days.

Have a good evening, everyone!!

 

[FINFAN]

sandy...YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The poster idea was Way-Cool!
Oh, you'll have fun seeking out the details, does your DS not care to pitch in on that? The kids here like to make all the choices of things, and THEN we get enlisted, for the credit card hold part! The time will fly now...when is the Prom for you guys again? Luckily your DS has you...to show him the ropes. Remeber when I said Art Guy may not have a clue...looks like I was the fears may have been justified. One of his best friends asked DD yesterday why she is going to Prom w/Art Guy...DD said 'cause he's nice, and fun, and thought they would have a good time,,,why?
The friend says, well, Art Guy has no idea what Prom is about.
DD asked for the friends help, could he bring up the tux thing, that the group is planning on a Limo, that you eat there, etc., but to stress that it is supposed to be a blast. The friends asks how long does he have...DD says 3 1/2 weeks....the friend says, not likely, would need 3 1/2 months.... and he wasn't joking! DD started giggling saying oh, funny, but the friend said, seriously...he has NO CLUE! SO....I guess he has been living under a rock! DD is a little nervous about it all now, and pretty much knows now she will be the one paying for EVERYTHING..probably even her own flowers! Now some of her friends are voicing their concerns that she may be in over her head . I would normally think that the parents would help guide their kid about Prom, but I don't even know if he has told them he is going, and after what happened with Jerks family..I don't know what to think about parents anymore.
Looks like I will be seeing how this unfolds. And the capper of it all , DD made some calls yesterday to set up a movie for tonight with the gang, planning to ask Art Guy to join if he wanted so he can get to know the group a little better. I guess thru the calls Jerk gets invited to join in . I see trouble ahead, mentioned to DD that maybe not the best time to have both guys in the same place...she can be thick sometimes...but she said she is not going to exclude someone from the group, that she can handle it. Okie-Dokie. Remember, I tried to tell her the difference between friend and doormat...asked if she is playing games here...but she truly has no interest in Jerk, and she plans to hang with Art Guy etc. I personally don't think it is afir to Art Guy and her time this evening would be better suited touching base on the Prom...but, not going to hover...but think the Titanic had a better survival rate at this point. Oh the Prama!
Good thing it's Friday...This has been some week!


Pam

 

[Sandy V.]

"Prama". Oh, Pam, that is a perfect word.

Your DD's life is reading like some sort of novel; can't wait to see how tonight's chapter ends!!! Please keep us updated. Hopefully Jerk will not BE a jerk to Art Guy. Sounds like your DD may have to be a little more forceful with Art Guy in getting him to cough up some $$$.

As for DS, it's not that he doesn't want to get involved in the planning. He's just so inexperienced in this area that I don't think he has a clue about what needs to be done, other than renting a tux, buying the prom tickets, and getting a corsage for girlfriend. We don't have school today because of the bad roads, so I think I'll let him talk to friends over the weekend to figure out who wants to eat dinner and ride in a limo with whom. Then I'll look into what's available then. I'm just relieved the answer was yes; can't imagine what we would have done if she'd said no. I realize that that was an unlikely outcome, but I'm a Mom and I worry . . . you can't hurt me, but don't hurt my babies.

I have another thought . . . instead of cleaning mamacatnv's house . . . why don't we pick HER up and spend a long weekend in Vegas. Then NONE of us would have to cook or clean!!

 

[FINFAN]

I'm In!!!!!!!!!! I've never been to Vegas, but the "Whatever happens in Vegas, stay in Vegas" slogan sold me LONG ago! Lord knows it may not be safe around here tonight!
It's funny, DH asked what the status was with DD...mostly his take was, well, the friend turned out to be not so trustworthy, what do we know about this guy...anyway, I filled him in on the movie issue...he looked at me like, Are you kidding me?..from a guys point of view DH thought DD was out of her mind, and that she should back out of tonight altogether. He is pretty much planning on telling her she can no longer go to the movies. I agree w/DH but at the same time, I don't think we should give her an out, bail DD out of this mess. It's too easy if we solve it for her, she needs to figure out the right thing to do, but I don't want Art Guy to be a victim of circumstance either. Maybe HE will bail tonight, figuring..the Prama's too much for me...and I don't even knowwhat Prom is!

ITA with the Mama Tiger theory...it has been SO hard to try and stay neutral about Jerk...like tonight, if DD does end up being allowed to go, when Jerk is heading to the same place we do not let DD drive herself because Jerk is a hot head maniac behind the wheel. He has actually put DD and her friends in a dangerous situation on the road in the past, scaring them half to death..anyway, so DH or I would be dropping her at the movie theater. I don't know what I will think if I see him...images of his mothers email , him bragging about ignoring DD, the only thing I really have a right to rag about is the email, and that woudl be between the mother and I, not the jerk, technically.
So, Vegas is looking good...far, far away from here...and warmer too!

 

[Sandy V.]

I've never been to Vegas, either. I want to go, but DH has no desire to. But he always says I should find some friends and go. This could be my chance!

That's a tough call about tonight's movie and whether DD should go. Good luck with that decision!!! I'm with you, though, I still would love to give Jerk's mom a piece of my mind, even if it wouldn't do any good. But it would probably make you feel better.

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas . . .

 

[FINFAN]

Since DD's Prom tab will more than wipe me out...will Virtual Vegas do? Maybe I'll use that tactic for DD tonight...that I think her $10 at the movie is better spent ging into the Prom fund since Art Guy appears clueless at this time.....and I mean that in a kind way...sorry Art Guy!


Pam

 

[horseshowmom]

Finfan,

Try to look at it like this (because I do think your DD is going to have to pay for everything), ArtGuy wasn't planning on going to the Prom at all. It doesn't sound like he really had an interest in it. BUT, his going is probably going to make it much easier for your DD than it would have been otherwise. The Jerk is much more likely to leave her alone instead of annoying her all night. That's probably worth the extra expense.

As far as the Jerk goes, he's behaving very badly - pouting actually (as has his mother ), but he most likely really had a crush on her and was willing to settle for whatever crumbs he could get (being "friends") just to be around her.

When things took a turn for the worst, he let his "worse" nature get out of hand. And, of course, he "had" to save face in front of everybody at school. That's certainly not a valid excuse, but that was probably his reaction and he probably felt somewhat vindicated in it because "all" of their friends thought they should be together too (like their "friends" should have anything to do with it ).

I would be a litte bit concerned for ArtGuy at the movies tonight though. It sounds like all these people going are Jerk's "friends", and these friends thought she should be with the Jerk. Also, some of them seem to be trying to discourage this thing with ArtGuy. Hopefully, they won't try to make him uncomfortable or create a problem. He's really a totally innocent bystander in all of this.

Good luck!

P.S. As the mother of a 19 year old who has had a few "dramas" of her own, you have my sympathy!

 

[Sandy V.]

Since DD's Prom tab will more than wipe me out...will Virtual Vegas do? Maybe I'll use that tactic for DD tonight...that I think her $10 at the movie is better spent ging into the Prom fund since Art Guy appears clueless at this time.....and I mean that in a kind way...sorry Art Guy!


Pam

Virtual Vegas will have to do for now. Actually, I'm probably in the same financial boat, since DS did the asking.

Horseshowmom, you bring up some good points. And welcome to the thread!! I've also got a 19 year old DD who's been through more than her share of drama.

 

[horseshowmom]

Virtual Vegas will have to do for now. Actually, I'm probably in the same financial boat, since DS did the asking.

Horseshowmom, you bring up some good points. And welcome to the thread!! I've also got a 19 year old DD who's been through more than her share of drama.

Did you ever have to turn your head to keep her from seeing you trying not to laugh (because whatever it was that was causing the melodrama was so absurd )? Mine is very level headed (thank goodness), but she sure can be melodramatic!

I've got to say, though, that I'm a sucker for the fancy dresses and all the fun.

 

[Sandy V.]

Did you ever have to turn your head to keep her from seeing you trying not to laugh (because whatever it was that was causing the melodrama was so absurd )? Mine is very level headed (thank goodness), but she sure can be melodramatic!

I've got to say, though, that I'm a sucker for the fancy dresses and all the fun.

Oh yes, many times. She still gets mad at me when she "catches" me doing it. Everything is a crisis.

I do love the dresses too. And all the hair and nail glitz. This is so different with a son now. I'm looking forward to the tuxedo rental and seeing DS all glammed up.

DD's prom dress as a junior cost about HALF of what my wedding dress cost (mind you it was almost 24 years ago when I got married, but still . . .). Last year, she had to have a green dress (she has long auburn hair and she and boyfriend decided that she had already worn red, pink, and blue to other formals so for some reason he "requested" that she wear green). I about fell over when we found a beautiful green dress on the Dillard's clearance rack for $19.99. It actually cost us more in alterations than the actual dress, but the total bill was still less than $60.00. I was thrilled and DD looked great in it.

The nicest thing is that she's over an hour away at college, but she still calls me almost every day.

 

[horseshowmom]

Oh yes, many times. She still gets mad at me when she "catches" me doing it. Everything is a crisis.

I do love the dresses too. And all the hair and nail glitz. This is so different with a son now. I'm looking forward to the tuxedo rental and seeing DS all glammed up.

DD's prom dress as a junior cost about HALF of what my wedding dress cost (mind you it was almost 24 years ago when I got married, but still . . .). Last year, she had to have a green dress (she has long auburn hair and she and boyfriend decided that she had already worn red, pink, and blue to other formals so for some reason he "requested" that she wear green). I about fell over when we found a beautiful green dress on the Dillard's clearance rack for $19.99. It actually cost us more in alterations than the actual dress, but the total bill was still less than $60.00. I was thrilled and DD looked great in it.

The nicest thing is that she's over an hour away at college, but she still calls me almost every day.

$60 is a bargain for sure! The only thing I can beat that with is the dress my DD wore when she won Fairest of the Fair. It was borrowed from her cousin so NO cost at all! Yay!


I LOVE auburn hair! My DD still laughs about a dear male friend of our who innocently called her hair "sort of mousy brown". It is dark brown, but he really could have done better than that.


Mine is the same - about a hour away at school, and she also calls every day (even her BF calls now and then ). Her dad was sad when I mentioned last night that she wouldn't be home until tomorrow (normally home on Friday afternoon). Maybe he and her BF can go out tonight!


Your DS is going to be a knockout in a tux. It always amazes me at what a change there is when they put them on. You almost can't believe it's them.

 

[mamacatnv]

Wait a minute, stop the bus.......I go off to get my nails done and voila - no house cleaning for me now I have to be the Vegas tour guide since it looks like I am the only one who has ever been I should warn you all I don't gamble it bores me. I will however, shop, drink, eat, go to shows and I love to wander around the hotels they are phenominal! Could we sell a child maybe and stay at the Venetian, I have dreamed of staying there.

Sandy:
So glad she said yes - how could she not
My DH makes the killer margarita's. He loves to play bartender for me and the girls so anytime you are in my neck of the woods he'll hook us up!

Pam:
Artguy does live under a rock. Jerk, well at least we know the apple doesn't fall far from the family tree. I still cannot get over his mother sending you that email - I would be so tempted to inform her what her precious boy is really up to but ultimately with a person like that it does no good.
I agree with your DH in advising your DD to not drag Artguy into the mess with jerk boy and the movie scene.

Horseshowmom:
You bring up some very valuable points especially the way the teenage brain works. I think it is hard for us grown ups to remember that they really do think and behave so differently.

Me:
I did ask DS last night if he was scheming on maybe actually getting a date and asking someone......He evasively said, he's thinking about it and will keep me posted. When he has it sorted out he will tell me all the details but he knows it is more fun to keep me hanging on his every word He is still not 100% sure he wants to go, evidently the girl in charge is not being viewed as being very competent and the kids are starting to think the whole thing might be a waste of funds. I'm sure he will end up going and I am sure I will end up absorbing most of the costs. Kids

Prama - I like that!

 

[Sandy V.]

$60 is a bargain for sure! The only thing I can beat that with is the dress my DD wore when she won Fairest of the Fair. It was borrowed from her cousin so NO cost at all! Yay!


I LOVE auburn hair! My DD still laughs about a dear male friend of our who innocently called her hair "sort of mousy brown". It is dark brown, but he really could have done better than that.


Mine is the same - about a hour away at school, and she also calls every day (even her BF calls now and then ). Her dad was sad when I mentioned last night that she wouldn't be home until tomorrow (normally home on Friday afternoon). Maybe he and her BF can go out tonight!


Your DS is going to be a knockout in a tux. It always amazes me at what a change there is when they put them on. You almost can't believe it's them.

Free is good.

DD's hair is the shade of red that most women TRY to dye their hair, but they just can't do without it looking crayony red or purple. DS's is strawberry blonde. My kids are proof of the power of the recessive gene, as DH has brown hair and I'm a blonde.

I can appreciate the "mousy brown" comment. Hey, I'm a dark blonde whose haircolor was constantly referred to as "dirty dishwater blonde" by a mean aunt of mine who never liked me (and the feeling was mutual).

I don't talk to DD's boyfriend on the phone all that much, but we do text each other. They go to the same school and both have been sick, so I've been sending text "lectures" to both of them ordering that they take care of themselves.

DD isn't home this weekend, but we're going to Boulder on Sunday to take her out to dinner. So it will be nice to see her again so soon (she was home for Easter last week).