Let the Prom Drama begin....Like Aurora, her dress keeps changing

[FINFAN]

I am not sure what would happen with a doctors note...the notice just said students MUST attend all classes to be allowed into the Prom. There will be a master list of students who called in, did not attend etc. at the dance entrance to be verified against the students ID. While I don't wish her to be tired or rushed, it would be even worse for her to get there and not be let in! DD's Psych Teacher is running the gig, but that won't get DD any special treatment.


Pam

 

[Sandy V.]

Finfan, your daughter has a great head on her shoulders. She handled that with CLASS and dignity; please tell her so for me!!

I told you that DS's 17th birthday was Monday. Well, for his "birthday present", one of the 3 girls that is jockeying for a position to have DS ask them to prom asked DS to "go out" with her (they "went out" about 2 months ago and DS broke it off then because he didn't feel like there was much chemistry - she's been pursuing him ever since). DS accepted this girl's offer so he now has a girlfriend. He's a good kid and a very proper young man (he's probably got higher morals than ME ) so I'm not concerned about anyone taking advantage of anyone else, but I find the whole dating merry-go-round very amusing.

Our DD is 19 and a college freshman, but we went through all of the prom expenses regarding dress, hair, nails, etc. It really adds up quickly.

You guys keep me posted and I'll keep you up to date on what's going on out here in Colorado. You've got an open invitation to crash the prom here if you need it!!

 

[mandy200587]

I am not sure what would happen with a doctors note...the notice just said students MUST attend all classes to be allowed into the Prom. There will be a master list of students who called in, did not attend etc. at the dance entrance to be verified against the students ID. While I don't wish her to be tired or rushed, it would be even worse for her to get there and not be let in! DD's Psych Teacher is running the gig, but that won't get DD any special treatment.


Pam

Why don't they just have it on a Saturday night? It works out a lot better IMO. I just hope everything works out for your DD.

 

[mamacatnv]

Good Morning Prom Mom's - Just checking in.

Our prom is $85 couple $50 single.
The prom is being held at the school and is a Jr/Sr. combined.
I told DS I would do Limo's for his Sr. yr for the JA Dance and his Prom other than that if he wants limo he pays for it. I rent the tux and for JA the past 2 years I have paid for the flowers for him and date along with a picture package for them to split. He paid for the dinner the first year and this year since they were paired up as friends everyone bought their own dinner. They went to Ichiban and I think they had more fun at dinner than the actual dance itself.

For the upcoming prom since he really is trying to go dateless I will purchase his Boutonnière, pictures and rent the tux. He will take care of his own dinner expenses. I'm getting off pretty cheap.

Fin: I hope your daughter can score a dress from someone, the girls really have the bigger expenses with dresses, hair etc.

My DS prefers to go dateless, he is still at the stage in life where he thinks having a girlfriend is too complicated and perfers to do his own thing.

Ahhh High School is way to complicated sometimes!

 

[FINFAN]

I wish our was held at the school, it is at a banquet hall 45 minutes away, hence the Limo scene...MAYBE...my DD is too inexperienced a driver to drive herself, and it would be beyond humiliating for me to drop her off, while she is practicle she said not having a date is going to draw enough attention let alone being dropped of by her mom. Poor thing...I give her credit, I would not have gone stag..no way, and didn't. I went to the loser's party..all us rejects who did not get asked showed up there. Anyway, I had also said no Limo 'till Sr. year, but I guess the circumstances have changed a bit. We have a town Trolley that will do the round trip for $250 and holds 20 kids, DD is thinking of trying to set that up somehow, but many of the girls don't want the Trolley ...no A/C, plastic seats etc. I don't know, it gets rented for Wedding parties all the time! Anyway, she is trying and actually coming up with good alternatives, but running into trying to get everyone in agreement. Like I said, some from her group already have dates and want that "special" Prom night, DD is in a different situation...she jsut said as long as I don't take out an ad in the paper or hand delivre a long lost cousin she will be fine! Gotta love her. The "friend" had his friends calling, emailing bugging her all night last night, WHY doesn't she like him, how could she turn him down, how culd she break it off... she's like, break WHAT off? We were NOT going out! He is afraid of losing her...she's said he never HAD her, not like that..and now she is feeling really bad that their whole friendship was a farce, that he pretended to be friends while the whole time he was just plotting along, telling others she was basically taken...I see a major blow out up ahead. Yet it is hard as she will haveto deal with the loss of someone she trusted, confided in, just like anyone who loses a friend. She feels like she was forced to end something she never began...just to get through to him. Oh, and he DOES have an Ego...apparently he stated that he's one of the best looking Jr's in the school, what's her problem? I wish there was a "toot your own horn' smilie. While DDD knows his ego is hurt, he could show a LITTLE more sensitivity. It just reinforces that in his world, it has been all about him...something I guess she really never was able to put her finger on as friends, but sensed it about the 'GOING OUT" stuff and again, no chemistry. Matter of fact, DD does not base anything on looks, people, clothes, only Art as her own worse critic. A true friend would know that about her. Her last boyfriend used to ask her all the time why she said yes to going with him as she could do so much better...and to be honest, he did not "stand out in a crowd" looks wise, but what a nice guy. His fols decided he needed to not date, focus on grade, so that eneded that from age 13-15. Now THAT was a hard breakup for DD.
Anyway....we'll see what happens this weekend, kids are off for 4 days Friday thru Monday..(why they can't go to school Monday and have Prom off I don't know ) amybe she will set up some social situations with a whole new crop of kids....she is off work each day but Monday, so she should have a chance or 2. I'll keep you guys posted!
SandyV...congrats to your DS! Sounds like another level headed one...sure we can't get some long distance relationships going here? I think all the kids would at least have WDW in common! Hopefully the chemistry will be there this time, it's awfully hard without it. I can't even imagine DD in college going thru this stuff...she has dated so few guys, I am worried she will be eaten up alive!


Pam

 

[Sandy V.]

SandyV...congrats to your DS! Sounds like another level headed one...sure we can't get some long distance relationships going here? I think all the kids would at least have WDW in common! Hopefully the chemistry will be there this time, it's awfully hard without it. I can't even imagine DD in college going thru this stuff...she has dated so few guys, I am worried she will be eaten up alive!


Pam

Thanks, Pam. We'll keep a relationship between our kids in mind. Never hurts to have a backup plan.

Sounds like your daughter's instincts were right all along about this "friend"; he's no friend at all. Sounds like he's being a first class jerk about all of this. I hope that she can get something fun organized with a group of her friends. It sounds like she's got a lot of motivation to do so now.

DD has been going with the same boyfriend since right AFTER prom her junior year (they didn't go to that prom together, but they had some sort of wonderful "talk" at the school-sponsored after-prom at one of our middle schools that started them getting interested in one another). Boyfriend is a really nice, smart kid with great parents, but you know, like most young relationships, they have their "crisis" moments. All senior year long, when they were having troubles, I would just say to myself, "Let's keep this relationship together long enough to get through prom; THEN they can break up!" Never did come to that, and they're STILL together as college freshmen.

DD did have a former "friend" who was like your DD's friend. He liked her romantically and DD didn't feel the same way. It ended the friendship - they no longer speak at all. Hopefully that won't be the case for your daughter, but if so, it's the guy's loss!!

This thread is so enjoyable for me. I like having someone else to bounce ideas off of.

 

[FINFAN]

Fun for me too, I am just grateful DD still includes me in her life, I have many friends who's teens just grunt at them, amybe they get a text here and there on where they are at night. Gotta, but keep things updated on our Prom Saga!


Pam

 

[Sandy V.]

Mine are "spill your guts to Mom" kids. I'm always amazed at what they tell me, but I wouldn't trade it for anything! We ARE fortunate.

 

[FINFAN]

Well, yesterday was rough...the "friend" trashed her all day. Thankfully this is a 4 day weekend, so she can be removed from the "Prama" (prom+drama)for a few days. Although, another one of her friends was asked last night, which leaves DD and one of her girlfriends dateless of their group, and the other girls has a back up guy from church..older, knows he a "tux-filler" but loves to go to Prom so he's coooooool with it..anyway...DD is feeling like nice people finish last. DD call a guy from her art classes to join her and others at he movies last nght and then over to Steak and Shake, but her never returned her call. A lot of folks are gone for the holiday weekend, so I hope that's why...she really needs a distraction right now.


Pam

 

[Sandy V.]

Aw, Pam, sorry about that. I hope that everything works out for your DD. Too bad that this guy is being so mean at the moment.

 

[FINFAN]

Thanks..no surprises really, but crummy all the same. One good thing that has been happening throughout all this is my DS. He is 12 and has stated that when he asks a girl to a dance he is going to attach tons of balloons to her locker to make her feel special about being asked, even if she says no to him, he said he knows it is nice to make someone feel good that they were liked enough to be asked in a fun way. In other words, even my 12 year could see the freind was working with a safety net the whole time, making sure he kept himself protected no matter who it hurt inthe long run.
C'mon spring, time for a renewal!

Pam

 

[Sandy V.]

Your son sounds like a sweetheart (both kids do, actually).

 

[mamacatnv]

Pam, so sorry to hear she is having such a rough time.
If my DS ever even thought of behaving that way, I know he would not be able to sleep, he would be living in fear of me or his Dad finding out!

My DS is also a spill your guts kinda kid, he and I can sit and talk for hours. I personally am one of those parents that would call him (or his friends) to the carpet if I even got a whiff of that type of behavior. It is all about respect and obviously no one other than your very smart daughter is monitoring Mr. Safety Nets respect level.

I know teen drama is just that, drama. But I so remember the way that drama can hurt - hugs to your Daughter - nice guys always finish first it just make take a few years to cross that finish line.

 

[FINFAN]

I thought the same thing (about the parents, I mean) wouldn't they at least try and inform their son of appropriate respct and behavior? Although, amybe they have,,but I know them and to be honest, a lot of the time they just can't be bothered with stuff..have their set routine and their son just does whatever a lot. That is how he became so "friendly" w/DD, she would always ask if he wanted to join in with the group to things..from playing video games to dances, fishing to plays...but after a while she did say he never offered any suggestions for things, I mean, there's ice skating, movies, roller blading, mini golf, tennis, have kids over for board games, stupid movies...whatever...it did not have to be a big deal, just maybe take the initiative to invite the group over just as they have invited him. I think DD summed up his issie in the word of "arrogant"...she was alwasy straight forward, no leading on...and he pretty much figured he would win her over eventually.. Nothing wrong with that, guys/girls have been doing that since the dark ages, but to blame her for not caving in to him, that's just wrong. Our huose is the revolvong door...most get togethers start or end here, and I have had many opportunities to speak with him...he is smarter than many give him credit for...street smart that is, so I warned DD about manipulation, but she said she was aware of his personality. She knows he is a wreckless driver, so would not ever drive with him...even tho others ALWAYS pressured her to ( again, trying to physiacally push them together) she realized that he was very particular or picky about things..and DD just like to go with hte flow...hates confrontation and drama..likes to cut to the chase and move on. All issues she can accept in a friend, but not quite in a BF. She asked to nose around at dresses today as our HS is the last of the 4 in our town to have Prom, and is a little worried that the selection is limited...so off we go today. Dress first date later...not the way to do it, but can't hurt to look.

Maybe she can be Cinderella..arriving solo and meets Prince Charming at the ball.....OK I am stretching it...but DD does not like to flirt etc..not a "prep" so she knows the odds of being asked are slim to none at this point. She will not sell out just for date. She would love to go with a friend...but many of her other guy friends are looking for a real date at this point. I think I better have a reject party plan offer for her just in case, for that night!


Pam

 

[shortbun]

I went with a 'friend' who was pressuring me to be more. After the 'dance' part, my two girlfriends and I ditched our dates(we hid in a dark room behind a couch when they came to pick us up) and went to a different after prom party stag. We had a blast! Tell your daughter to stick to her guns. Better no memory than remembering hiding out. Well,...it IS good for a laugh 35 years later.

 

[mandy200587]

It's sometimes better to go solo, I was kind of not looking forward to it but I went solo. I didn't have to worry about my date leaving me or not having fun. I hung out with my friends and danced with them. There is always some guys who go solo because that's what they want to do.

 

[FINFAN]

DD picked out a dress tonight...Jessica McClintock? We tried a different mall and I had never been in this dress shop before. DD was thrilled becasue they carried size 1, and they were very nicely made/cut...and in budget...well, a little over, but $155...I thought that was fair for how nicely it fit and only need to take it in a hair...no length alterations..saves us the normal $20, and she has shoes and jewelry..or may make herself a new necklace, she's into beading etc. It sure perked her up to find one..and the kicker...she has ALWAYS been convinced that she can't wear a strapless...and it's strapless!

http://www.jessicamcclintock.com/wcsstore/jmcstore1/IMAGES/32277F.JPG

She's a little nervous aboutthe white, friends have said wear anthing BUT white...bride look etc., but they also have one in black with green around the middle...and she's got a little Goth in her so she REALLY liked the green, but they did not have her size and could not guarantee getting one in...and it was $20 more...anyway...DD's hair is light goldern brown, honey eyes..literally, not hazel, not light brown...the color of honey. She said she thinks she will need to buy a bottle of tanning lotion...after seeing herself in white....I like it on her...totally threw me, starpless, a bow, and PINK in it? Those were the top 3 she wanted least, until she tried it on. She is planning an updo..too much you think with a strapless? And the lady at the dress shop says black or pink stappy shoes...DD has black..so that'll go right? The girl is wearing black in the picture. DD also has a eral pearl necklace...a strand ov 24 that mu Mom has been adding to since she was born for various occasions...that would also work right , if she doesn't make one? I looked in the dress bag to see if a Prom date came with the dress, but I guess not. I have until Tuesday night ot return it if she changes her mind....I hope the link works!


Pam

 

[mandy200587]

It's beautiful, if you have Kohls they have some cute flip flops. I wouldn't waste money on heels unless she can stand wearing them or has another reason to wear them. Most girls end up wearing flip flops instead of heels. For a good website for hair and such check out promspot.com they have cute hair ideas and such.

 

[FINFAN]

Y'know, she has the heels, and she has a pair of silver flops...I think those would work...I sure hope there aren't 30 girls in the same dress....but DD wuldn't care, she already said how that means it's a great choice if many like it...she;s laughing downstairs right now...so glad she's not so worried about you know who...she just wishes his friendship had been genuine. She was saying how badly she felt for hurting him, and then someone called her saying he was spouting off saying how proud he was of himself for ignoring he all day yesterday! Again, all about him. Hopefully some girl will ask him to the dance so he can focus his energy elsewhere....but dor now...it's allabout the dress!


Pam

 

[mandy200587]

you can get a pair of cheap pink flip flops at walmart. Definately stick with those. You have a mature daughter and it is obvious. she's handling this situtation so well.