Leashes on kids

[HLDisney]

I have seen a great one for parents of twins though. A friend of mine wore a belt with a leash either side that attached as a belt to both children. It meant they were safe and she had her hands free.

I had one of these for my DD and it was great! I liked knowing that she was near me and I had my hands free and I didn't get any dirty looks because we were both wearing the same thing When I used it at the mall, I got a lot of smiling looks from other parents.

Helen

 

[Drusilla]

a child's safety is more important to me than how anyone else thinks i should parent, i think you do what you need to do to keep your children safe and if that means putting a "leash" on them so be it. And it gives them more freedom to explore than a stroller does, while still ensuring that they don't get lost.

Don't judge another parent until you've walked a mile in their shoes. You never know what the situation is.

yes!!!

 

[princessmom29]

At the same time, some (not all) parents are way less attentive to a child in a stroller than to one walking because they "know" they are safe in the stroller. Go shopping at the mall, how many moms do you see with their backs to their strollers as they're sifting through the clothes rack? And more times than not, wth a stroller there is no interaction... the child isn't even facing the parent in most cases. When we go out and use a stroller (I babywear most of the time) we're the ONLY people I ever see that has a stroller where the child sits facing me.

Anyway~ I don't care either way... as long as a child is safe, not ignored, and attended too.

that is exactly why I phrased it the way I did. People can abuse any type of "safety divice" aas a babysitter, although I think in my personal experience, just from what i have observed, I have seen more of it with leashes than strollers. Something about holding the end of that lead seems to make parents more complacent. You are right though, it boils down to doing whatever makes a child safe, and not ignored.

 

[thegreggersmom]

yes!!!

I second this! Have one and plan to use it at WDW next week.

 

[Colleen27]

I dislike them, but not because I think they're degrading or whatever. I hate them simply because I most often see them used by parents not paying adequate attention and letting little Junior have the full length of leash in crowded settings, regardless of the obstacle/tripping hazard that it creates for other people trying to walk in the area. It might make the kid happier to have a little freedom, but that freedom is creating a trip line between the kiddo and the parent.

 

[tower_of_terror_luvr]

it would be fine if your kid was a dog, but there not. Unleash the Children!

 

[crysplefty]

I have "leashes" for both of my kids, but only use it at crowded places like amusement parks and fairs. I have the breast strap type due to the fact that I don't want my kids to pull their arms out of socket if they try to run. My son has nursmaids elbow, so it would not be that hard for him to pull it out of socket. If you don't know what nursemaids elbow is, it is when your elbow comes out of socket. Once it happens, it is very easy to do it again and it is common in children. Luckily it has only happened to him twice, but we had to make a trip to the ER to have it put back in place both times. Both times I thought he had a broken arm since he was screaming in pain and wouldn't let anyone touch his arm, but once the doctor puts it back in place he is fine.

 

[bumbershoot]

People use them on the best trained dogs to keep them safe - is the safety of a child "less" important?

I'm 60 - my mom had to use a harness on me when I was a toddler (I was a speedy "wanderer" - LOL) - and I survived just fine.. No feelings of "degradation" at all..

Yep, that's what I was trying to say!

I'm 40 and my mom used them with us. We have the BEST pictures of me and my brother with our black chest harnesses, and then our two big sled dogs with their collars and leashes, and it was just my mom. Just her. She loved us, she loved the dogs. She kept ALL of us safe.

People sometimes want to use the "treat like a dog" thing as a negative, but for the most part, people treat their dogs wonderfully! I see NOTHING bad about being "treated like a dog", when it means we're safer for it.

...and letting little Junior have the full length of leash in crowded settings, regardless of the obstacle/tripping hazard that it creates for other people trying to walk in the area. It might make the kid happier to have a little freedom, but that freedom is creating a trip line between the kiddo and the parent.

OK OK so here's the problem. You see that, right? The parent probably sees it too.

So here's the parent's choice. Let that happen.

Or pull the kid back, using the connection between them. So NOW you'll see "gasp, they are using it to pull the poor child, poor little thing." Or if you don't see that part, someone ELSE will see it, and report the awful behaviour you saw on the part of the parent, PULLING the kid back.

People don't use harnesses on kids who listen perfectly. They use them on kids who aren't the perfect angels. On kids who can wriggle out of what you thought was a tight grasp on their hand/wrist/arm. (my friend's kid was a master at that!) On runners. They aren't being used on kids who "come when you call them". So you're going to end up in that situation with a kid who is needs a harness to begin with.

I'll be honest here. I tried to use them with DS. I'm a chiropractor and HATE seeing little kids with their arms up in the air holding hands, and when a parent has to bend down to reach the kid's hand. It isn't good for spines or other bones of the body. And DS was NOT perfect about coming back when he was called.

So I tried. Unfortunately, he really really really enjoyed acting like a sled dog breaking a sled free from the ice, which dogs accomplish by slamming their bodies hard at the ends of their leads, to shock the sled free. Now pictures my SHOULDER as the stuck sled, and we've got a bad situation.

The very last time I used the harness was at the airport, waiting for a friend. He was playing with how much room he had (it was late night, no crowds), and decided to go to the end of the lead and leaaaaaaannnnnnnn.

Can you even IMAGINE how bad that looked? How I had no good options at that point? I either had to keep holding on, hoping that he was smiling big to show people it was a fun game, or I had to haul him back, which would then look even worse. There were no good options. I was sweating with the effort of holding him and not dropping him on his face (another horrid option), talking to him to get him to stand up, etc etc.

It was at that point that I realized it wasn't working for us.

But I use that experience to illustrate that if you're seeing a moment in time, you have NO idea what caused that moment.

Are all bad looking moments like that? Nope. There are some people who use them rudely. Take away the lead and you've got a kid having their shoulder or elbow yanked out of alignment. You've got someone being led around with body parts just as rudely. A rude parent is a rude parent, no matter if they use hands or monkey backpacks.

 

[princessmom29]

Yep, that's what I was trying to say!

I'm 40 and my mom used them with us. We have the BEST pictures of me and my brother with our black chest harnesses, and then our two big sled dogs with their collars and leashes, and it was just my mom. Just her. She loved us, she loved the dogs. She kept ALL of us safe.

People sometimes want to use the "treat like a dog" thing as a negative, but for the most part, people treat their dogs wonderfully! I see NOTHING bad about being "treated like a dog", when it means we're safer for it.




OK OK so here's the problem. You see that, right? The parent probably sees it too.

So here's the parent's choice. Let that happen.

Or pull the kid back, using the connection between them. So NOW you'll see "gasp, they are using it to pull the poor child, poor little thing." Or if you don't see that part, someone ELSE will see it, and report the awful behaviour you saw on the part of the parent, PULLING the kid back.

People don't use harnesses on kids who listen perfectly. They use them on kids who aren't the perfect angels. On kids who can wriggle out of what you thought was a tight grasp on their hand/wrist/arm. (my friend's kid was a master at that!) On runners. They aren't being used on kids who "come when you call them". So you're going to end up in that situation with a kid who is needs a harness to begin with.

I'll be honest here. I tried to use them with DS. I'm a chiropractor and HATE seeing little kids with their arms up in the air holding hands, and when a parent has to bend down to reach the kid's hand. It isn't good for spines or other bones of the body. And DS was NOT perfect about coming back when he was called.

So I tried. Unfortunately, he really really really enjoyed acting like a sled dog breaking a sled free from the ice, which dogs accomplish by slamming their bodies hard at the ends of their leads, to shock the sled free. Now pictures my SHOULDER as the stuck sled, and we've got a bad situation.

The very last time I used the harness was at the airport, waiting for a friend. He was playing with how much room he had (it was late night, no crowds), and decided to go to the end of the lead and leaaaaaaannnnnnnn.

Can you even IMAGINE how bad that looked? How I had no good options at that point? I either had to keep holding on, hoping that he was smiling big to show people it was a fun game, or I had to haul him back, which would then look even worse. There were no good options. I was sweating with the effort of holding him and not dropping him on his face (another horrid option), talking to him to get him to stand up, etc etc.

It was at that point that I realized it wasn't working for us.

But I use that experience to illustrate that if you're seeing a moment in time, you have NO idea what caused that moment.

Are all bad looking moments like that? Nope. There are some people who use them rudely. Take away the lead and you've got a kid having their shoulder or elbow yanked out of alignment. You've got someone being led around with body parts just as rudely. A rude parent is a rude parent, no matter if they use hands or monkey backpacks.

I get your stroy, and totally understand that, but I get the imperssion that you didn't stand there and let him pull without doing soemthing about it. I have literally been sitting in the mall eating, and watched moms with kids straining at the end of a leash stand there and carry on a conversation for 10 min or more and never aknowledge the child, much less try to stop the pulling. It hurts me to watch. I think that these are the type of scenes the PP was talking about, or at least that is how I read the post.

 

[msmama]

I think it's more disrespectful to a child to keep them in a stroller all day then to have them harnessed some other way.

At least with a harness they get to participate in life, if you keep them in a stroller they just watch the world go by.

That said, while I have one for my DS, we've never actually had to use it. Turns out he's a good hand holder in crowded places!!

 

[sl_underwood]

I havent read this entire thread but figured I should comment. Most people would probably think I am a horrible parent because up until very recently my 6 year old son had a leash. The reason: he would let go of my hand whenever he felt like it and run. He has special needs but by looking at him you wouldnt know it. He looks completely normal but the part of his brain that controls impulse has been damaged. So when my son decides to bolt, he doesnt think of safety. He is to big for a stroller so what do we do. Never take him outside, never allow him the opportunity to learn in a safe way. The leash allowed us to teach yet keep him safe. I would hook the leash then wrap it around my waist and hook it to itself, giving him very little room to manuever. I would tell him it was being used to keep him safe. I also had him hold my hand as well knowing that he would let go and I would have to remind him to hold my hand. In stores, we used it as well but having him hold onto the cart. After 2 years of this, we have successfully been able to go without it. Though, I can guarantee you if tommorrow he wasnt able to keep himself safe, I would put that leash back on him. It is about safety, there is nothing negative about keeping your children safe.

 

[tartemis]

Personally, I would never use one on my child. But if you feel that it is in the best interests of your child to use one, so be it.

I wanted to chime in on one common theme I have seen on this thread, however. The choice is not between a stroller or a leash. Accordingly, justifying the leash by saying it is better than keeping a kid strapped in a stroller is a red hearing.
Since 18 months, my child has rarely used a stroller. I just started at a young age teaching her that she had to stay near mommy and hold my hand in dangerous situations (e.g., crossing the streat, in parking lots, etc.). Sure, it takes more vigilence on my part since she is "free." But, I view that as part of my role as a parent to teach her independence and boundaries.

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

I have not and will not use them on my children. I don't approve of them for my family, but to each his own.

I like your post, to the point and agreeing to disagree.

 

[FSUSammy]

When DS was an infant I saw kid with these at Disney and I'll admit I thought the same thing a lot of others think, your child isn't a dog so don't put a leash. Well my DS is now a rambuctious toddler. I do have control over him but the last thing I want to do is have to carry him in line all of the time to keep him from getting away from me. Yes it does happen! So I bring one along and use it when we take him out of the stroller so that he can discover safely. He wore it to Disney a few weeks ago and we got comment after comment on how cute his little puppy was on his back. Even Chip and Dale got into the action and started walking him around when he went up to them for a pic.

 

[sug78]

I didnt use one with my first daughter. However, with daughter #2 I couldnt do without it. She has too much energy to sit in a stroller full time and when I try to hold her hand when she walks she constantly pulls away from me. So although I think it looks funny to "walk" my child her safety is my first concern. She actually loves her leash and like to carry it around when she has her backpack on.
On another note... I think it was on Amazon that I saw Mickey Mouse leash backpacks for around $25, very cute.

 

[sug78]

I didnt use one with my first daughter. However, with daughter #2 I couldnt do without it. She has too much energy to sit in a stroller full time and when I try to hold her hand when she walks she constantly pulls away from me. So although I think it looks funny to "walk" my child her safety is my first concern. She actually loves her leash and like to carry it around when she has her backpack on.
On another note... I think it was on Amazon that I saw Mickey Mouse leash backpacks for around $25, very cute.

 

[Colleen27]

I get your stroy, and totally understand that, but I get the imperssion that you didn't stand there and let him pull without doing soemthing about it. I have literally been sitting in the mall eating, and watched moms with kids straining at the end of a leash stand there and carry on a conversation for 10 min or more and never aknowledge the child, much less try to stop the pulling. It hurts me to watch. I think that these are the type of scenes the PP was talking about, or at least that is how I read the post.

That's it exactly - parents who use the leash instead of watching their children, or to have them walking in places where a toddler should be contained.

The worst I ever saw was on Black Friday last year at Target, a mom completely focused on getting the bargains she was after while her twins, who looked to be about two, ran around everywhere their leashes would let them go. Another that stands out in my mind was at Sunshine Seasons at Epcot, where a mom was letting her toddler walk around on a leash in the ordering area. That place is a zoo in the best of circumstances without a wandering toddler (leashed or otherwise) making it worse!

 

[Colleen27]

I think it's more disrespectful to a child to keep them in a stroller all day then to have them harnessed some other way.

It isn't one or the other, though. We use a stroller for times our little one should be contained, and make sure to build time into whatever we're doing for her to explore somewhere safe and appropriate, whether that means one of the playgrounds or fountains at Disney or the kids' play space at the mall or stopping by a park in between errands.

 

[mjkacmom]

Personally, I would never use one on my child. But if you feel that it is in the best interests of your child to use one, so be it.

I wanted to chime in on one common theme I have seen on this thread, however. The choice is not between a stroller or a leash. Accordingly, justifying the leash by saying it is better than keeping a kid strapped in a stroller is a red hearing.
Since 18 months, my child has rarely used a stroller. I just started at a young age teaching her that she had to stay near mommy and hold my hand in dangerous situations (e.g., crossing the streat, in parking lots, etc.). Sure, it takes more vigilence on my part since she is "free." But, I view that as part of my role as a parent to teach her independence and boundaries.

I think we all teach our children independence and boundaries, but some children learn quicker than others (I had 3 easy ones, 2 challenging ones). Also, many parents have more than one young child, and not enough hands to go around.

 

[disfan07]

I am not a parent yet but i totally approve of the harnesses.

I have used it on a child that I babysit for. The youngest is now 2 and he is wild. He does listen now...sometimes....he's a good kid but he is only 2 so sometimes somethign gets his attention and he just does not listen.

I took the two youngest to Cox farm (it's like a giant pumpkin patch type place...slides, rope swings, etc) and strollers are not easy to use their so their mom recommended that I use the harness adn at first I wasnt so sure b/c I look like I'm 16 so the looks I get just b/c of my age adn being with 2 kids alone are bad enough, add in the harness and it would have been worse. I am so glad that I had the harness. The kids at the time were 1 and almost 4...it was a lifesaver for the youngest. He had walked late and once he learned how to walk he would run at every chance he got. Would I have used it if I had not had 2 littel kids with me....probably not, but with both of them in such a large, crowded open space together , it was a lifesaver.

We've used it on him in Busch Gardens, Kings Dominion adn in Washington DC.
In crowds, it's a great thing to have if your child is a runner