Laws regarding public breastfeeding

[OZMom]

I breastfed both my babies and also have a large chest. The middle of a restaurant or mall is not your living room couch. I managed to feed my babies in public as needed by being discreet.

Kudos to you, I also breastfed my babies in public as needed. Not really sure what you meant by the living room couch comment though. If my kid was hungry in a restaurant, where others were eating, I fed him. I wasn't going to make him wait until I was home on my couch, and I wasn't going to stay at home on my couch until he was a year old.

99% sure I never flashed anyone.



I'd like to know what your definition of "being discreet" is, because in my experience, it's all subjective. You may have thought you were being discreet, someone else may have thought you were "whipping out a boob". In my opinion, I was discreet when I was breastfeeding, but apparently you don't think I was?

Actually, I'm pretty sure that was the whole point of my comment, that even with a large chest, I had no problem breastfeeding in public without a cover, and still showing little to nothing. So you're essentially agreeing with me, except you're mad because I didn't demand people be discreet? Maybe I'm misunderstanding.

 

[gemini2727]

About 16 years ago, I was nursing my baby while sitting at a table outside of a Ben and Jerrys ..... The manager came out and asked me to move somewhere else because someone complained, even though I was being completely discreet. I'm still mad at myself that I did move! I wish I had stayed right where I was, and complained to the company itself, for treating me like I was doing something horrible. I'm glad times seem to be changing in that regard. Any parent feeding their child should be able to do so whenever, wherever, being as modest as is reasonable in the situation. If the mom doesn't have a covering, or doesn't want to use one, stop looking at her!

 

[tvguy]

The kids being breastfed are physically at the workplace? Where are they when not being fed?

I was referring mostly to pumping, but several new moms i have worked with were able to have their husbands or their child's grandparents or caregiver bring their infant in during mom's lunch break for a feeding.

 

[tvguy]

Everyone agrees that breastmilk is best for babies (when possible, not hating on formula moms. My preemie needed formula so I get it)

My DW and I are among the millions of people born in the 1950's when formula was thought to be best. And that was straight from the medical research at the time! Both our kids were breastfed for their first three months, and then formula added in just because they weren't getting enough to eat with just breast milk by then. But both my kids weighed over 9 pounds at birth.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I breast fed two kids past their first birthdays. DD absolutely would NOT eat with a blanket or cover over her. Ever. This is the kid who cried loudly even as a newborn at the hospital any time a nurse put socks or a hat on her--she could only be calmed by removing those.
I fed her lots of places with no cover, and really, you could hardly see a thing except maybe in that brief moment when she was first getting started (and how would a mom handle that with a littler one, when you have to be able to see the baby, with a cover over baby anyway?)---even then you'd have to be looking right at me and trying to see past a squirming baby to have seen something.

Only one in the about 3 years total that I nursed did anyone ever complain, and that person started by asking if my child was nursing or napping--so little showed with the baby attached and a nursing dress on that she honestly wasn't sure!

 

[superme80]

I breast fed two kids past their first birthdays. DD absolutely would NOT eat with a blanket or cover over her. Ever. This is the kid who cried loudly even as a newborn at the hospital any time a nurse put socks or a hat on her--she could only be calmed by removing those.
I fed her lots of places with no cover, and really, you could hardly see a thing except maybe in that brief moment when she was first getting started (and how would a mom handle that with a littler one, when you have to be able to see the baby, with a cover over baby anyway?)---even then you'd have to be looking right at me and trying to see past a squirming baby to have seen something.

Only one in the about 3 years total that I nursed did anyone ever complain, and that person started by asking if my child was nursing or napping--so little showed with the baby attached and a nursing dress on that she honestly wasn't sure!

That is exactly how my boys were. They did not want anything covering them. I was as discreet as I could be. The problem is the few who are not discreet ruin it for those of us who are. Thankfully I am done with it, but I fully support and will stand up for the right of the moms who do breastfeed. I wish as a society we would just get over it. If you don't want to see a baby feeding, don't look.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I would like people to be discreet, for the simple fact that I am a pretty modest person(and I know a few people in my family and circle of friends who are anything BUT), but at the same time I just don't CARE. If I am at a restaurant or out shopping I am not there to watch people. I might take notice of someone breastfeeding, whether covered or not and go about my business. Small blip..."Look someone is breast feeding." Just like, "Oh I like/don't like that shirt". (Just using that as an example of how much of a non-issue it really is to me.)

My kids have asked about what women are doing when they see it. I just tell them the truth. Sometimes they think it's strange or silly(they're only 7, of course I explain to them how natural it is) and sometimes they just shrug.

 

[SweetieinVT]

He said he understood NOT wanting to use a public restroom.

And that is why I should not DIS after being up all night with a sick kid. I misread, my apologies. I still stand by the fact that most nursing moms are being reasonably discreet and most people who complain are overreacting. I have many friends that breastfed multiple babies for years, some of them militant pro-breastfeeding moms, and I don't know a single one that I would consider would wip it out with the purpose of flaunting it and/or making a point. The mere fact that someone is breastfeeding in a public space should not be an issue, nor does it need to be hidden. Stepping off soapbox now...

 

[Jedana]

A lady at the Mayo clinic yesterday, at the transplant center, was breastfeeding a little one (and I mean little, my kitties are bigger than her--pink clothes, so just a guess on the sex). She slipped the baby under her shirt, and was totally covered. She got a couple of dirty looks from some old people (70s+, I think).

I don't care if you BF in public. Just don't sit down in the middle of floor in Target or in the middle of the sidewalk to do it. That's just rude--you disrupt the flow of traffic. Sit at a bench or table or under a tree where people aren't walking. And there is no need to leave your entire breast uncovered, really. Even if it's just a bra covering everything but where baby is eating, at least have some respect for others around you---not everyone wants to see your breast.

And just for a bit of humor---my son gets so red when he sees a woman BFing. I remind him that he too once had mom boob juice for food and he gets even redder. Then there is some discussion about him drinking cow boob juice now, and he will just walk away, beet red. Eleven year old boys are so much fun to embarrass....

 

[MickeySP]

This is a local establishment & the story is all over FB & I guess is also receiving some national exposure:
http://www.masslive.com/news/index....ere_to_breastfeed.html#incart_related_stories

Apparently, I live in a state that has a law that protects breastfeeding women to be able to do so in public or private. I don't breastfeed my children, but I am not bothered by anyone that does in public or private.

I've never been to this place & know nothing about the owner but from what I read, I personally think the owner of this place just put her foot in her mouth & was reacting to some customers who had complained that women were openly breastfeeding in the middle of a busy play area.

Just wondering...if the owner had instituted a different policy that stated ALL feeding (whether it be breast, bottle, or snacks) need to happen in a designated open area, would this have met legal requirements? This way, it does not discriminate against anyone? Apparently, a bunch of customers are going to file lawsuits.

My bolded - Umm WHY? She apologized & the policy was never instituted so why lawsuits? RIDICULOUS! People wonder why we have a litigious society, even when you get what you want or is right - still sue

 

[aaarcher86]

And that is why I should not DIS after being up all night with a sick kid. I misread, my apologies. I still stand by the fact that most nursing moms are being reasonably discreet and most people who complain are overreacting. I have many friends that breastfed multiple babies for years, some of them militant pro-breastfeeding moms, and I don't know a single one that I would consider would wip it out with the purpose of flaunting it and/or making a point. The mere fact that someone is breastfeeding in a public space should not be an issue, nor does it need to be hidden. Stepping off soapbox now...

And again, no one is talking about discreet mothers.

I like to think I live in a pretty small bubble. I have only seen a handful of public breast feeders, and even in my limited run ins I've encountered two flashy feeders.

If you're a normal, discreet breast feeder you probably associate with the same. That's pretty normal. I think we can recognize these people exist though. What are they called? Tiger Moms or something?

 

[SweetieinVT]

And again, no one is talking about discreet mothers.

I like to think I live in a pretty small bubble. I have only seen a handful of public breast feeders, and even in my limited run ins I've encountered two flashy feeders.

If you're a normal, discreet breast feeder you probably associate with the same. That's pretty normal. I think we can recognize these people exist though. What are they called? Tiger Moms or something?

Out of curiosity, what do you consider not discreet? I'm not trying to pick an argument, just trying to understand how much of this debate is just differences in perspective about that. In all my time in VT, which is pretty crunchy, I can't remember ever running into anyone who was not being discreet about BFing.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

And again, no one is talking about discreet mothers.

I like to think I live in a pretty small bubble. I have only seen a handful of public breast feeders, and even in my limited run ins I've encountered two flashy feeders.

If you're a normal, discreet breast feeder you probably associate with the same. That's pretty normal. I think we can recognize these people exist though. What are they called? Tiger Moms or something?

 

[Happy Snowman]

There is no possible way not to flash someone, briefly or not, while breastfeeding without a cover in place to start, sorry. There is no reason anyone has to sit down in the middle of a public place to feed their child. Respect goes both ways and if you are eating at a restaurant and you know your child will probably be hungry during that time, ask for a booth so you can be discrete. I breastfed all of our children. I am not against breastfeeding in public, but I also don't think you need to flash everyone doing so. Yes, most people care discrete, but the ones that usually cause this kind of uproar are not and those are the ones people here are talking about.

For the couple at Mayo, when those 70 year olds were growing up, public nudity was not acceptable. Girls were not wearing skimpy bikinis on the beach. It's a comfort level. You can respect their modesty level as well.

 

[lizabu]

I support even the flashy feeders. People need to get over themselves. You see pictures of topless women in National Geographic and because people see breasts every day in these places breasts are not considered sexual. If women are breastfeeding whenever and wherever they want people will get used to seeing it and we can all move on.

 

[aaarcher86]

Well, I can tell you about the two experiences I witnessed that I considered outlandish.

The first - lady was breastfeeding on a bench in Meijer. The boob not being utilized just hanging there. Full exposure. This woman was just shy of taking her entire shirt off - it looked like she just pulled both arms out of her shirt, scrunched it up to her neck, and went to town. It was definitely not a situation where she didn't know.

The second - and since I don't breast feed I can't really explain the purpose behind what this lady was doing. We were at the Renaissance Festival. I don't know if this lady was warming it up, trying to get the juices flowing or what, but she had a full boob out and she was working this thing like a stress ball. Her baby was in her other arm, so I'm sure there was some goal of feeding the kid down the road. Naturally, we were sitting across from each other so it was hard for me not to just stare in awe. I'd say it lasted at least 10 minutes, but time meant nothing to me at this point of shock, so I could be a little off here. Can I not just enjoy my potato soup bread bowl without a strangers nipple gazing at me like a laser? Is that unreasonable? I think not.

Anyone else I've come across, covered or not, has barely even attracted my attention. I think I've seen one nipple and it was already blocked by a baby's noggin by the time I did a double take. My husband didn't even notice.

I'd agree that most people are pretty discreet and polite when it comes to other people's feelings. But if I've seen these types of women I have to believe they're semi-common.

 

[tzolkin]

I have NEVER seen someone not being discrete when BFing in public, so I really have a hard time believing that there are huge numbers if women with their breasts hanging out everywhere. (Sure one or two weirdos, but it can't be as common as people make it seem.) I even went to a "holistic moms" group after the birth of my third and even those women (who would probably all fall into the militant BF category) were discrete while nursing, even in a small group setting where it was just other nursing moms so I am sure they weren't bearing their breasts when out in public.

The only person I know who "whips out" their breast to nurse is my SIL. She wears wrap-style tops and pulls her breast out the top of her shirt so the whole thing is exposed. She, however, always uses a cover in public.

Two of my three would not use a cover. They would sweat and kick and scream until they ripped it off (which is certainly not discrete). I had a technique for holding the hem of my shirt in a certain way that kept my breast completely covered and also covered the baby's mouth and cheek. There was absolutely never any nipple exposed, so despite others disbelief, it is possible to nurse discretely without a cover.

That said, most states are "top free". So even though women don't regularly go topless, they are allowed to by law. If they can mow the lawn, go to the beach, and walk down the street topless; I would think those who have issues with BFing should be glad that women choose to be even moderately discrete since they certainly are not obligated to be. If they want to completely remove their shirt to feed, they are within their rights to do so.

 

[eliza61]

Myself and 90% of my friends breastfed our children. I don't know a single person who uses a cover and not a single one of us has ever "whipped a boob out". I have a very large chest, and even with a newborn in a football hold, you would see less skin from a breastfeeding mother than you would see on a young woman on any public beach beach. The whole "have some class" argument is old.

Not all babies will eat under a cover, not all women can pump and put it in a bottle.

Everyone agrees that breastmilk is best for babies (when possible, not hating on formula moms. My preemie needed formula so I get it)

Putting restrictions on where / when / how a mother can breastfeed her child makes it inconvenient. Every time we tell a mother, who may already be struggling to breast feed, to cover up, go to the bathroom or give their kid a bottle, we are discouraging their efforts to do what is best for their child.

Also it's illegal in most states.

I'm almost with you. my question is "who say motherhood is "convenient"? that's the attitude I have a problem with. some where along the line, parents have gotten the attitude that since I've given birth the entire world has to make my existence easy and convenient.

I breastfed two kids, one a freakin 10 lb baby. Yes it was inconvenient to get up in the middle of church service to feed him, yes it was a pain in the backside having to leave a supermarket because son #1 wanted to be feed or to find a bathroom.

Sorry I don't buy the "I'm discouraging a women" simply because I don't want to see boobs whipped out at Wendy's. So what your are saying is that if some thing is not easy and convenient for you it would stop you from doing the best thing for your kids?


motherhood is often very very inconvenient.

 

[Oodalally13]

Just saying.....

If it is okay for women to have boobs out in a public space and have some type of excuse for it then it should be ok for men to have their meat and 2 veggies out and about with some type of excuse. I understand you have children and are feeding them BUT please remember there ARE alternatives. From what I understand men get chafing and what not from being under wraps, so they can choose to let it loose. There are pros and alternatives to both things. Who's right is it to judge what body parts should be covered at certain times for certain reasons? Why is it ok for for a woman breastfeeding to have her boob out and about because she is breast feeding but not a woman just walking down the street? I know what's coming next "women dress with low cut cleavage baring clothes all the time, it's the same." Sorry, it isn't.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I don't have a problem with it , just use a little throw to cover. It is a natural thing to do.