This has been an extremely hard weekend.
When I got home Saturday night, Horatio wouldn't eat - not even deli turkey or baby food. We were able to get a little cream down him. He didn't fight us on taking his meds like he has been, but the look in his eyes said he'd sure like to if he had the strength.
Sunday morning, we tried a little diazapan and Jeff got about 2 tbl of babyfood down him and a little cream. I couldn't watch - I went for my walk and cried. After my walk, I mowed the lawn and then helped pressure wash our back patio. Rain clouds were threatening but we got it done. About the time we finished up all three kitties were crying to come out - even on a wet patio. Horatio came out and toddled around a little and then collasped. I completely broke down. I sat down in the wet and picked him up and held him in my lap while he rested. We had three more complete collaspes through the evening hours. Jeff noticed that there was blood in his urine and called the vet. We were asked to bring him in first thing in the morning. I was afraid he wouldn't make it through the night.
No one slept Sunday-Monday night, Horatio just wanted to try to drink water from hands from my bathroom sink. He'd settle on his pillows above my pillow, where he's slept for 18 years, only for a few moments and we'd be back to the sink. He hadn't cried out until that night.
We took him in Monday morning. It was supposed to be a blustery day - but instead the sun was shinning and Mt. Rainier was out (just like the day we had to take Samantha in over 2 years ago.) He gave me a great big hug and a soft purr before Jeff told the doctor we were ready. We were with him as he went to be with his little sister and Jeff's mother.
I have the biggest hole inside me right now. Jeff is trying to hold it together. Tilda and Niko have their sad faces on - but I think they understand much better than we do the pain he must have been in and his need to be with Sammi.
We went up to my folks last night for dinner. They were very supportive. Dinner was good, on plan but honestly I'm not very hungry. My boss had given me Mariners tickets for tonight. I really don't want to go but Jeff insists it will be better for us to get out for the evening. Coming home has been the hardest thing to do so far - Horatio was a very brave and opinionated cat. He was always there to greet you when you walked in the house and give you a good bawling out if he thought we'd been gone too long. Niko and Tilda are shy and don't come out of their hiding spots until they know for sure that you are you.
I'm trying to remember all the good times and the love Horatio shared with us. He had great adventures - going to our cabin near Yellowstone, boating in the San Juans and up into Canada, attending college classes with me as a tiny kitten and even living in a fraternity with me one summer. He's been my support - a shoulder to cry on. Encouragement when I was down. Always there to listen and comfort.
We will miss him.
Laurie,
. i hope things turn around. Boy are you stressed. You are an inspiration to me for staying OP and exercising while that stressed. 
I hope work is a breeze today and that you can get some rest tonight. I'll say a few prayers for Horatio.
