Kids say the darndest things!

[PaulDavid's mom]

I was getting ready for work this morning and my 4 1/2 year old was watching me. He started the morning off by telling me that "I'm so lucky I have such a good kid" . Then we chit chatted for a bit more. Then he said it. I was laughing so hard. He looked me straight in the eyes and said "Mom, you have a pretty face. But you look a lot better with makeup on!"
I know there are many children out there that say funny stuff. Just wondering if anyone wanted to share.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Kids always tell it like it is!

I have one from last night. My dd (who is 5) was talking to her friend (also 5). Here's how their conversation went:

Friend: Where's your dad?
DD: He lives in Maine with my stepmother.
Friend: What's a stepmother?
DD (after thinking for a minute): It's when you have a regular mother and then another mother with a step in front of it.

That girl kills me!

 

[PaulDavid's mom]

Cute!

 

[hlbtimes2]

Yesterday morning I had this conversation with my 4 year old son
H: mom, I love you.
Me: aw, thats nice, I love you too.
H: Mom, I love you even if you are crazy. (long pause) and you're nuts!


Same child a couple weeks ago on one of the ferrys in Seattle:
H: Are we floating (as he looked out the window)
Me: Yes we are.
H: Impressive.

 

[Pooh Crew]

My kids (6 yr old triplets and a 5 yr old) were discussing their 17 yr old step-sister who lives with us and has for years now. One said something about Sarah going to see her mom and then turned to ask me who Sarah's daddy was. They were SHOCKED when I said that their dad was Sarah's dad! What?! How could they not know this??? I mean, she does call him Dad and we have talked about her being their sister, of course. I asked them why they thought she lived here, and one replied, "I don't know, I just thought she was our teenager!"

 

[GoofyBaseballMom26]

These are toooo cute. I wish I had kept a journal of things like this my DS said when he was little. You don't think you will ever forget but trust me you do!!!!

 

[Steffi]

"I don't know, I just thought she was our teenager!"

Too cute! Did they think she just came with the house or something?

 

[PaulDavid's mom]

Yesterday morning I had this conversation with my 4 year old son
H: mom, I love you.
Me: aw, thats nice, I love you too.
H: Mom, I love you even if you are crazy. (long pause) and you're nuts!


Same child a couple weeks ago on one of the ferrys in Seattle:
H: Are we floating (as he looked out the window)
Me: Yes we are.
H: Impressive.

It must be something with that age cause your son sounds like mine! LOL

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

My 4 year old is full of them (and full of attitude too) the other day she was telling me she needed to go buy a leash

So I asked her what she needed a leash for, she's apparently planning for when her dad and I go to Vegas without them. Her response was, "sometimes Grandpa forgets to hold my hand and I don't want to get lost, so we need got get a leash to put on him and I'll hold it, he can follow behind me and then I won't get lost!" A second later she follows up with "we can get him one of the Barbie ones they have at Petsmart!! Won't that be cute!?"

A soon as I was done giggling I called my mom who dang near dropped the phone after that one. Sad part is, Grandpa would probably let her do it.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

My kids (6 yr old triplets and a 5 yr old) were discussing their 17 yr old step-sister who lives with us and has for years now. One said something about Sarah going to see her mom and then turned to ask me who Sarah's daddy was. They were SHOCKED when I said that their dad was Sarah's dad! What?! How could they not know this??? I mean, she does call him Dad and we have talked about her being their sister, of course. I asked them why they thought she lived here, and one replied, "I don't know, I just thought she was our teenager!"

Everyone needs a pet teenager!

 

[becka]

DS is apparently in the market for a convetible because once when I was taking the kids to daycare we pulled up at a stop light next to a little two seater one. DS told me that "You and Daddy need to get married so you can get a car like that." He seemed a little shocked when I told him we already were married.

Then just last night he tells me that we need to put Allie back in my tummy so we can get a car without a roof. Apparently you not only need to be married but you also can't have a baby.

 

[lindakmonty]

OMG...my ds is FULL of things that are so adorable ...lets see... last weekend we were laying on his bed playing one of those card matching games we got at Yellowstone last year...he says: Mom, can I show you something? I say Of coarse...he says...but I have to pull my pants down to show you....I now get a little concerned what he's going to say/do...but he pulls his pants down and that poor kid.... He had poison ivy ALL over his little rear...and in front.... OMG.... so I got the calamine lotion out and told him he can't be scratching etc... yeah right! Now he's got it on his legs and his arms etc... oh...he's 5

Another: we were going up to Sandusky to go to Kalahari...the indoor waterpark. He's telling me all about his cousin Bradley that is 2 and "if he were my son I wouldn't let him go down the waterslides b/c he could drown...it's just too deep for him...I just wouldn't let him do it if he were my son!"....he's 5 and telling me..."if he were my son" He kills me! He is so sweet and so adorable...I just want to wrap my arms around him squeeze him!

This morning before I left for work....at 6:30...he has to get up and give me a kiss and hug before I leave or he gets upset he says "lets make a deal"..he's all about making deals...he says "I'll give you 5 hugs and kisses now and when you get home I'll give you 10 hugs and kisses" "is that a good deal?"...of coarse it is It is always a competition who gets the first hugs and kisses when I get up in the morning and when I walk in from work...it is so adorable...he comes running as fast as he can to beat dh to me then it's "ha ha ...I got the first hug and kiss" They are so darn adorable!!!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My kids have said their share of funny things throughout the years. My 6yo said a cute, albeit strange one recently that I think I mentioned on the DIS. He has 3 siblings who are quite a bit older--12, 15, and 18yo. He looks more like his 15yo brother, Ben, but is very close to his 12yo brother, Zach, and idolizes everything he does, We were saying how he looks like Ben, and he was arguing that he looks more like Zach and finally in frustration said that Ben looks psycho. After we stopped laughing we did wonder where he picked up that word.

Ben had all kinds of funny things that he said when he was little. One time he got mad and said "God!" and I told him to say Gosh instead. His response was, "Who is Gosh, God's wife?"

Pooh Crew. LOVE the teenager comment! Too funny!

 

[The Mayor]

When my son was 5 years old (23 now!!!) we were at WDW in July and of course it was hot and humid. In our room I had mentioned that I was having a good time except that it was hotter than hell...next day while waiting for the monorail a CM asked my son if he was having fun and...you guessed it...he replies, " Yes except that it's hotter than hell"...

 

[Carl]

These are always funny. I loved it when Art Linkletter and later Bill Cosby had a show with the kids saying those things.

 

[Sammy]

These are hysterical! I just LOVE the teenager one!!

My DD goes to private Catholic school, but she has several classmates that are not Catholic. She was telling me the other day about one her "best" friends in school not being Catholic. When I asked her what her religion was, DD replied, "Prostaterian"! I guess that's a cross between "Protestant" and "Presbyterian"!! I almost choked on my dinner I was laughing so hard!!

 

[HappyLawyer]

when i was in high school i worked at a local grocery store, a little boy reached for my ****, and yelled big ****s, his mom apologized i thought it was funny

 

[aunt kelly]

When my son was 4, I worked part-time and my mother kept my son while I was at work. One day, near the end of the day, I called home and my son answered the phone. I said, "Thomas, have you been good today?"

He answered very sweetly, "Yes."

He then very truthfully added, "but mostly I've been bad."

 

[luvpoohbear]

I wrote this on another thread as well. When my youngest son was 5, my SIL had a baby. Well my children had no idea what breast feeding was. So when we went to visit the baby after he came home, SIL was sitting on the sofa nursing (under a blanket). My youngest walked over and asked what she was doing, she replied "I'm feeding the baby". So, of course my son walks over to me, looking confused, so I explain that mommies make milk for their babies, and so on. Well, he looks at her, then he looks at me and says "Ooooh, I get it now!" "What's in the other one, sweet tea?"

Needless to say, we all laughed for a long time over that one!!

 

[elizke]

These are funny. Kids and their innocence, just fun and wonderful.

OP, yours reminded me of something my son said when he was about 4. (He's 10 now but still feels the same I think.)

I had been sick and was not wearing makeup AND, well I'd been sick. He was staring at me and then said "Mom, I like your other face."

Yesterday I got a new one from my 7 year old daughter which you ladies should appreciate. She's in a "wants to be a boy" phase right now. We were debating about whether it's better being a girl or a boy. I was for the girl benefits, and she was all for being a boy. All she had going was that you can go shirtless if you're hot. I was winning (you can play play baseball AND play with dolls openly) until she trumped me with this final point....

"Well, if you're a boy you can be hairy and not get blamed."

I conceded.