Kids inviting themselves over..does it bug you?

[CJMickeyMouse]

We have two teens, and their friends are always welcome here. We do, however, have a boy that invites himself that neither DS considers a "friend". He would just come and hang out 24/7 if we let him.

Mean Momma put the stop to that one. He shows up at the front door or calls to say he's coming over and the answer is always "No, sorry it's not a good time for us." I don't think he has ever gotten the hint.

 

[auntpolly]

"No, sorry it's not a good time for us."

I would just say this - if it wasn't a good time. Sometimes it's not - sometimes it is....just remember it's your house.

I didn't judge the kids badly who did it because I have adult friends that drop in uninvited to and it's just the way they are. People tended to do it more on the east coast than here in the midwest.

 

[debaudrn]

Our house has always been the one that the kids migrate to. Kids are now 13 (boy), 16 (girl, junior in HS) and 19 (girl, sophomore in college). Friday night had 4 friends of the oldest and one of the youngest over. Kids all over the floors of their rooms! In the morning dad makes pancakes for everyone, once we wake them all up around 11! The best/worst part of it? I work at the middle/high school all of them attend or graduated from so I know all of them quite well! I'll miss it when they are older and have their own places.
Deb

 

[PaulaSue]

I love the kids coming here for playdates (Fridays are playdate and pizza nights) but I hate almost everytime, 2 certain friends come over they want to to stay the night and always try to invite themselves to stay longer.

I feel bad saying NO all the time but with 3 kids (oldest just turned 8) we have sleepovers everynight. I can't imagine getting 4 or more to sleep at night at a decent time, 3 is hard enough.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

It doesn't bother me one bit. I like having a bunch of kids around and I like knowing where they are too.

 

[golfgal]

Our kids don't really have friends that just invite themselves over like that BUT in our old town it was pretty common for all the kids to just bounce from house to house depending on what they were playing. I guess I didn't see this as inviting themselves over since everyone did it at everyone's house. It just seems normal to me.

Here in our new town there aren't many kids our kids' age in the neighborhood, despite DH's claim when we were looking at this house that there are TONS of kids our kids age here--they are all about 2-3 years younger , so anytime the kids want to get together with friends it is more of a planned activity.

I don't think we have ever had a kid as if they can sleep over without an invitation. The rule is at our house though, you can't ask if your friend can eat/sleepover in front of them and you have to ask us first before you ask your friend which the kids are pretty good about.

 

[snowwite]

It doesn't bother me one bit. I like having a bunch of kids around and I like knowing where they are too.

Ditto!

 

[disneymom3]

Thats how we did it too! My daughters age kids (2nd grade) are just about getting to the point now where they will stop over (the ones that live where they can walk over) and knock and see if she can come out and ride bikes or play. Doesn't bother me at all, if its not a good time I just say "not today " or " not right now but if you come back in an hour she will befinished with what she is doign and can play"- I didn't realize that in some places people need appointments for their kids to come over and play....

If the kids live within walking distance, that is how we do it too. We have good friends of the kids' that live behind us and right next door and one or the other is always knocking on each other's doors. I love that. It gets harder though when they don't live nearby. We have a lot of preteens on our street and being homeschoolers, our social group is pretty spread out. What is nice about it though is we often have a whole family come to hang out and then I get company too!

I always wonder how to be the "fun house to be at" Do you provide good snacks, movies, crafts, or just the atmosphere? Need to make sure I do this right!!

 

[chager]

My son has a friend that will show up and ask to spend the night. Due to issues I have had while he is here and the fact he is SO LOUD all the time it is usually no. Just recently he showed up and asked saying his parents weren't going to be home and he didn't want to stay home by himself. So we agreed it would be ok. That night about 10pm my son took the dogs out. J went out too. Nick came in but no J. He ran home and was back 10 mins later with snacks that HIS MOM sent down!!! Apparently his parents had been home the whole evening and he had lied about them going out. When I asked him about it he acted all innocent and said "Well, I thought maybe they would go somewhere. I guess they didn't!" This is a 13yr old boy!!! I explained I don't like to be lied to!
On the other hand Nick has several friends that it wouldn't bother me if they called and asked to stay/come over. He has known them since preschool. None have ever called and invited themselves though. They have always asked Nick to go to there home or Nick has called them to invite them here.