Kids headed to College Fall 2012 Check-in

[clh2]

This was our experience as well. She's been home for a couple of days now and I think that I have seen her for about 15 minutes.

Had lunch together today and asked about grades. She said that she is considering whether or not to share them with us. That's great. We are considering whether or not to pay the bill next semester.

In our case...we "need" to see grades so we can forward them to our car insurance company to make sure we continue to get the "good-student" discount.

 

[Buckalew11]

DD has had a very good first semester. Football took up a lot of her time--she's a student athletic trainer and she traveled with them. They ended up conference champs which has not happened in so many years we can't remember, lol.

She only had one class that gave her trouble but she passed, survived and did not really even need it.

There are quite a few kids not coming back--some after Christmas and many next Fall. They're just not prepared for the work for the most part. Some are homesick, some miss BFs and GFs and some change majors and decide to go somewhere else.

DD complains about the food quite often. I think the chef left mid-semester and they are getting a new one this semester. Maybe it'll get better.
Her other biggest complaint has been internet service in the dorm. It seems spotty on campus and they say that will be fixed also.

I think she is relieved that football is over and she can work games this semester only when she wants. She and her roommate are friendly but not really friends. She has a lot of other friends though and since she was homeschooled, I think this is her favorite part about college.

I think her school is a good fit for her. She's happy and that thrills my heart.

I see her often enough (maybe once a week) and talk to her sort of like someone else mentioned--maybe text 3 or 4 times in a day and then go 3 or 4 days with no contact. I see her on FB though.

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Well, she is on a scholarship so good grades are required. I am sure that they are fine, it's just that she needs to realize that my nickel gets me some privileges...

 

[zurgswife]

After a rocky start....my son found his footing. He and has actual roommate aren't a great mix but he does get along with his suite mates. So, all in all the roommate issue is tolerable. His grades aren't all in yet but he thinks he is getting mostly A's so that's great. He met a girl and while she is ok; just not totally his type and really needed - took him talking to a counselor to realize that it is ok to break up with someone because it just isn't working - turns out he really doesn't like hurting peoples feelings. So, he explained things prior to break...so they will have 4 weeks away from each other to let it heal.

He is a theater major and was cast in a main stage play for next term - a really big deal for freshman so he is feeling really good about that.

He came home a few times but because his older sister lives in Manhattan he spent a lot of time visiting her...so he wasn't as lonely as he might have been if she hadn't had been local.

Everyone is home currently so that is really nice.

 

[tar heel]

I've not "seen" grades, but he told me what he got as they were posted. His spring semester tuition was due before exams were over, so you couldn't really wait until you saw all the grades.

My son doesn't have any friends who aren't returning. Statistically, 97% of freshman return at his university something like 95% graduate, so that's no surprise.

I'm really glad to hear that most of our DIS kids are getting along okay.

 

[WDWBarb]

DD has had a very good first semester. Football took up a lot of her time--she's a student athletic trainer and she traveled with them. They ended up conference champs which has not happened in so many years we can't remember, lol.

Wow - what a great opportunity - pretty awesome for the first semester of college!

It's really great hearing stories from other parents. I've felt pretty lost since August and I have no other friends with college age kids (but soon.. and now I can share some insight with them).

A friend of DD's from school called her yesterday and said she was coming to visit (we are lucky enough to live in the town where DD goes to school - but that doesn't mean we get to see her much!). She lives about 2.5 hours away and in a rural area. Her mom died when she was little and she was lonely and bored. Well, what was to be shopping and dinner has turned into an overnight visit and maybe more. DD works retail and with crazy Christmas hours, she had to work midnight to 5 a.m. Her friend went to work with her (thankfully this is OK with where DD works) and now they out to breakfast. It's nice having both of them here.

 

[Schmeck]

Both DDs are home for break, the house feels so nice to be full again. So proud of my girls - they are so independent, about the only thing we do for them is pay the tuition bills! Reading these posts about picking kids' classes, being in constant contact with the student, and other issues, I'm extra grateful my kids have the skills and maturity to handle these issues on their own.

I didn't realize parents were still doing all this for college kids, and just kind of expected mine to do it on their own. They come to me with questions, which I answer to the best of my ability, but they have been expected to do the stuff themselves. I really don't want them to be dependent on me that much, as after my melanoma scare I can't count on being here for them forever.

 

[ez]

First semester went very well for my daughter, her and her roommate have become best friends, and my daughter took 5 classes (she was encouraged only to take 4) and got straight A's. She is on the presidents list and just got an email inviting her into the honors program. Also...even though she has only done 1 semester of college, her status is already reading as Junior for next semester because of all the IB credits she had. We are so proud of her!!!

 

[westjones]

I didn't realize parents were still doing all this for college kids, and just kind of expected mine to do it on their own. They come to me with questions, which I answer to the best of my ability, but they have been expected to do the stuff themselves. I really don't want them to be dependent on me that much, as after my melanoma scare I can't count on being here for them forever.

My DH and I did that all for ourselves too. And my one DD can do it for herself. But when you are dealing with a child with a disability it is a whole new situation. And dealing with the office of the Students With Disabilities is a whole new situation.

So yes, be very thankful if you have kids who can do all of this themselves. I am hopeful my DD will be able to do this eventually. My 'hope' is by her Junior year. But DH and I decided that the 'goal' is for her to finish college and so if that means we have to step in and help her with some of the little things, we are doing it. But believe me, I wish she could do it herself. It breaks my heart that she can't. And even having the label of being a 'disabled student' isn't something anyone really wants to have. BUT I am grateful she has the chance to go to college. I am grateful for the things the office of disabilities have done for her. But college is college, and it is rough and if you are someone who doesn't 'fit the mold' of the typical college student it is even rougher.

(Oh and I am also dealing with a medical issue that may mean I won't be here for long....although I am hopeful a year from now I can say that all is fine and I am well....but I also know they can't depend on me forever, which is why helping her get this degree now and not having her wait until she is older and more mature and possibly more capable of handling everything is important. I may not be here in 5 years when she would probably be more ready to go through college. But right now, I think (hope) she can do it if DH and I help her with the little things like figuring out a good schedule for her with instructors that would do better with her disability. I really truly hope that in a couple of years we see her taking over more....but again, when you deal with a disability it is a whole different world and you are sort of on your own to figure all of this out and it is scary...believe me, there have been a lot of tears on my part wishing my DD could do all the things her peers could do right now.....but she is getting there in her own time.)

 

[westjones]

First semester went very well for my daughter, her and her roommate have become best friends, and my daughter took 5 classes (she was encouraged only to take 4) and got straight A's. She is on the presidents list and just got an email inviting her into the honors program. Also...even though she has only done 1 semester of college, her status is already reading as Junior for next semester because of all the IB credits she had. We are so proud of her!!!

That is wonderful! Congrats! And so glad she got a good roommate. That can really help a lot.

 

[Buckalew11]

Wow - what a great opportunity - pretty awesome for the first semester of college!

It is a great opportunity. She's been around it all her life so she's doing things many student athletic trainers never get to do in college. She's spoken to some FR friends at other colleges who were not even allowed to tape this semester! DD was working the field and even helped spine board 2 players (in one game! one from their team and one from the other--thank God they were both fine.)

I know the head trainer has loved finally having her officially there but at the same time, I think they did have some issues to overcome. That's been good for her also--it is not easy confronting issues sometimes and it is a good life experience.

Happy that she took the bull by the horns in many situations--tutoring for the trouble class, issues when tutors did not show when they were supposed to, she was sick 2x and they do not have health services but she called the doctor and saw them all on her own (which she always has done since she could drive there) and many other things.

She really does not "need" me anymore but I guess that is a good thing. So, now we're already in that next phase of the mother/daughter relationship. I'm not much of a lover of change but I know this is what we've worked for.

And, I will say, it is nice having her home now because I'm suffering from shin splints in my right leg and I have a WDW 1/2 marathon in 3 weeks. I've had ice massage and tape jobs on my shin. I might need her more than she needs me!

 

[Schmeck]

My DH and I did that all for ourselves too. And my one DD can do it for herself. But when you are dealing with a child with a disability it is a whole new situation. And dealing with the office of the Students With Disabilities is a whole new situation.

So yes, be very thankful if you have kids who can do all of this themselves. I am hopeful my DD will be able to do this eventually. My 'hope' is by her Junior year. But DH and I decided that the 'goal' is for her to finish college and so if that means we have to step in and help her with some of the little things, we are doing it. But believe me, I wish she could do it herself. It breaks my heart that she can't. And even having the label of being a 'disabled student' isn't something anyone really wants to have. BUT I am grateful she has the chance to go to college. I am grateful for the things the office of disabilities have done for her. But college is college, and it is rough and if you are someone who doesn't 'fit the mold' of the typical college student it is even rougher.

(Oh and I am also dealing with a medical issue that may mean I won't be here for long....although I am hopeful a year from now I can say that all is fine and I am well....but I also know they can't depend on me forever, which is why helping her get this degree now and not having her wait until she is older and more mature and possibly more capable of handling everything is important. I may not be here in 5 years when she would probably be more ready to go through college. But right now, I think (hope) she can do it if DH and I help her with the little things like figuring out a good schedule for her with instructors that would do better with her disability. I really truly hope that in a couple of years we see her taking over more....but again, when you deal with a disability it is a whole different world and you are sort of on your own to figure all of this out and it is scary...believe me, there have been a lot of tears on my part wishing my DD could do all the things her peers could do right now.....but she is getting there in her own time.)

Both my girls have disabilities as well - I just made sure that they learned to cope with their issues before college. Oldest could have been labeled on the spectrum, Asperger's/HFA/sensory disorder, but since I work in special education I was able to get her needs met without an IEP or official interventions from the school, and avoidance techniques were not allowed. She's a senior at MIT, and looking forward to graduation.

Youngest is a freshman in college, and has a few birth defects that make it hard for her to see in one eye, among other issues. She also has synesthesia, which is not a disability, but makes learning tricky for her too. She may never get her driver's license, so she had to choose a school near good public transportation, or get used to either bumming rides or not coming home very often. She has learned to pace herself with her classwork, as she cannot study/cram because of her vision issues. She could have another eye surgery, but it wouldn't completely fix the issue, and she would have to relearn (again) how to focus/read/etc.

I stopped intervening in their academic issues after elementary school. Middle school was tough, but they learned a lot about social skills, some of it the hard way. If they misbehaved, I was not going to bail them out or give an excuse. High school was a breeze as they knew that they had to do it all themselves, from picking classes to applying for scholarships and college. I signed checks and forms. Oh, and filled out the FAFSA. I answered questions, but only if they asked me.

 

[westjones]

Both my girls have disabilities as well - I just made sure that they learned to cope with their issues before college. Oldest could have been labeled on the spectrum, Asperger's/HFA/sensory disorder, but since I work in special education I was able to get her needs met without an IEP or official interventions from the school, and avoidance techniques were not allowed. She's a senior at MIT, and looking forward to graduation.

Youngest is a freshman in college, and has a few birth defects that make it hard for her to see in one eye, among other issues. She also has synesthesia, which is not a disability, but makes learning tricky for her too. She may never get her driver's license, so she had to choose a school near good public transportation, or get used to either bumming rides or not coming home very often. She has learned to pace herself with her classwork, as she cannot study/cram because of her vision issues. She could have another eye surgery, but it wouldn't completely fix the issue, and she would have to relearn (again) how to focus/read/etc.

I stopped intervening in their academic issues after elementary school. Middle school was tough, but they learned a lot about social skills, some of it the hard way. If they misbehaved, I was not going to bail them out or give an excuse. High school was a breeze as they knew that they had to do it all themselves, from picking classes to applying for scholarships and college. I signed checks and forms. Oh, and filled out the FAFSA. I answered questions, but only if they asked me.

That is wonderful! Hopefully one day my DD will get to that point too. They all get there in their own time (and depending on their disability). I still have hope my DD will get there too. So glad yours was able to already.

 

[SC Minnie]

With the first year winding down how has everyone (and their students)held up?

DD is doing well so far. about a month before the semester is over and exams start. She has decided to minor in Spanish which may add some time but she was on track to graduate in 3.5 years anyway. DD had an interview with a resort about 30 min from campus for a part time position in recreation. She had a 2nd interview with them last week and was told they would let her know in a week or so. If she gets the job she'll be staying in the area for the summer.

 

[Robinrs]

With the first year winding down how has everyone (and their students)held up?

DD is doing well so far. about a month before the semester is over and exams start. She has decided to minor in Spanish which may add some time but she was on track to graduate in 3.5 years anyway. DD had an interview with a resort about 30 min from campus for a part time position in recreation. She had a 2nd interview with them last week and was told they would let her know in a week or so. If she gets the job she'll be staying in the area for the summer.

First year almost over.. I can't believe it!! It went so fast.

My son is a totally different person, college has transformed him. He LOVES it, more than I expected and I knew he'd like it but not as much as he does. He was always too OLD for any age so being with people in his own mindset is a major upgrade.

He loves his teachers, especially a particular 25yo cutie he has taken TWICE! He taped her class on his Iphone and I fell in love with her, too! She has a quirky, open way of teaching kids and has them run the class WITH her. She does a speed dating thing where everyone has to say SOMETHING. My son is uber shy but she brought him out of it. All of the kids love her, he's trying to find a way to have again next year.

So far, so good. College is what he needed to bring him out. I love the NEW HIM!

 

[VickiVM]

My son has acclimated very well and LOVES UNT. He is surrounded by music which has really fueled his passion for music studies. He joined a band with some buddies (at UNT, bands form and break up daily!), began pledging this semester to a music fraternity, and has maintained a good gpa.

He applied to become an RA for next fall and has passed a couple of the interview process steps...just waiting to get called in by a dorm that may need him for another interview. We are so hoping he's chosen as this will take care of his room and board, plus a small monthly stipend

This fall my daughter begins her Sr. year and we get to do this all over again!!

 

[kacaju]

DD LOVES college!! She is on the dance team and they are headed to Nationals next week in FL.. how exciting!! She is doing well and never comes home (she is an hour away) I am so happy for her!! I can't believe 1 year is almost gone...wow 3 more years..this will fly by~~

 

[Schmeck]

That is wonderful! Hopefully one day my DD will get to that point too. They all get there in their own time (and depending on their disability). I still have hope my DD will get there too. So glad yours was able to already.

Thank you for the kind words, and I agree, they all get there, if we let them. They need help, of course, but I'm a firm believer of tough love. Let them fail in a safe environment so they see the world doesn't end, but let them feel the disappointment too. Both my girls called me once from middle school because of forgotten homework/project. Told them I could get the project to school on my lunch break, and the charge was $10. Both girls did it just once.

Getting ready for my oldest to graduate from MIT this June. My younger one is settling in well in school, finding it much easier than her very demanding junior and senior years in high school, and has been selected by a professor as one of 5 research assistants-in-training. First time the school has let freshmen touch the pricey lab equipment (the million dollar machines). I pray each night that she doesn't break anything Back in high school, she and her lab partner set their chemistry lab on fire, by accident. Luckily, it was contained to the lab bench...

 

[WDWBarb]

It's been an OK year. DD is mostly living at home now (wasn't I the one moaning and whining that DD never came home at first?) because she couldn't tolerate the extreme amount of drinking and partying on campus. She was at the ER too often, taking her friends that had over-indulged, and just decided one day that if she wasn't there, she wouldn't feel so responsible for everyone.

She's not loving her school and the current administration, so I'm not 100% sure that she'll continue there. Thankfully, we are college-rich in my area so she has many others to choose from.

She's also changed her major, but I totally expected that to happen. I changed mine many times (and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!).

But it's all good.

 

[Buckalew11]

It has been a good year for DD I think. She spent Spring Break in Portland, OR where she is dreaming of grad school. You know, I think we really need to have a talk about enjoying the moment and not always looking ahead. *sigh* She seems happy at school but always looking too far ahead.
She's made some really nice friends although her and her roommate aren't great together--nothing terrible but they will not be rooming together next year.

Not sure what she's planning for summer but I feel sure she is hoping to make Portland work. (For a summer job)