kids having their own money

[pocomom]

I read some financial advice awhile back about rather than an allowance, or dolling out some money periodically whether for chores or just because, or just paying for things... you should give you kids a big chunk of money and discuss what it covers and then let them make their own buying choices over a longer peirod of time, increasing with their age so that as teenagers you might give them their whole year or whole semester's money for clothes/entertainment etc. in one shot. but then hold firm on no more money. We haven't quite graduated to that yet, but for this past trip I did have the kids earn money and in some cases they were given some money (christmas . birthdays and grandparents) in advance. And the two oldest 11,7 were responsible for the whole thing. We discusssed that I would not be paying for ANY extras. All purchases for the three weeks (one in disney) would need to be covered by their amount. I can not tell you how well this worked! First of all, there was absolutely no whining/begging/ or me stretching my budget because I wanted to get them something (the kids are normally pretty good about not fussing but I always feel guilty about not getting them something they want especailly on vacation, so normally I buy it even when i shouldn't). I did talk to them about some of their purchases (youngest wanted to spend alot on candy) prior, and they even came to me for advice which was a treat! but ultimately the decision was theirs. I think they learned more about managing money in the three weeks than they ever have. They and I learned about what was really important to them spending wise ( they are much more thrifty with their own money They made a few mistakes, like my oldest leaving behind a $25 disney gift card at home... but they learned much more by me staying out of it, it was really sweet watching them spend so much on gifts for each other and the rest of the family (they even treated for ice cream!), and I ended up spending much less than ever before, the kids even came home with cash left over, but smartly used all of their disney gift cards up, except the missing one

 

[2disneyboys]

I've heard similar advice, we we "kinda-sorta" practice this with our kids, except not to the extreme of a large period of time's money all at once. I know many adults who could not "budget" thier annual income up front.. by april or may, they'd be out of money, lol!

The system we do with our kids (ages 12 and 9) is this:
1. @ the begining of each month they each get a "set" amt of $ from us. My 12 year old it's $15 and my 9 year old gets $10. The theory is this is for incidentials throughout the month & the amt will increase as they "age". It will "cap" out at some point, and once they have a job and earn money, then this would probably go away. I'm guessing they can earn more than $20 a month @ a real job!) They get this $ simply because they are part of our family and I love them

2. Again, They are part of our family, so there are chores assigned to them that they must do or else they lose a privilage (Oh, didn't unload the dishwasher? well now you get to unload the dishwasher & no tv tonight etc) There is no other "payment" for these chores. You do it because you are part of the team. They either do what is expected or they get some sort of penalty. Also, if they are asked by thier parent or other adult to help with something (hey grab this & help carry to the trash etc) thats not optional. They just do it or again, suffer the penalty (loss of some sort of priviliage) of not being a team member...

3. There is a list of "jobs" on my fridge at all times and a $ value assigned to each. These are extra tasks that they are not expected to do (they don't have to do any of them if they don't want to) but if they choose to do them, they can earn the stated amount of money. Payday is every 2nd Friday.

4. Other than family events (like going to the movies or out to dinner as a family) DH & I don't pay for anything else. We buy them all the school supplies, lunches, dinners @ home & to take to school etc), a reasonable amount of nice quality clothing throughout the year as needed & appropiate. If they want something someother time, or if they want to go to the movies w/ friends, or to the ice cream shop w/ friends etc, etc, etc- they have to pay for it with thier money. If they want a candy bar @ the grocery store checkout... they buy it with THIER money. (now sometimes, I will buy it, but that's cuz I'm the mom & like to treat my kids, but when I say sometimes I would guess 3 or 4 times a year.. it's truly "sometimes".) If they know we are going on vacation & they want souvneers.. they save for it & buy it.

At 9 & 12, there's not much need for actual budgeting, but it's good practice for later. When they are 16 & want to go out w/ friends more often, they'll have to make sure they saved & worked enough to have movie money. & perhaps (I'm hoping) they will learn that maybe I should have waited to buy that (whatever) because now I don't have any money and have to miss going out to (wherever) with friends because I didin't "save".

my sister thinks I'm crazy for this thought process. on the other hand, She just doles out $20's to her teen daughters every few days.. going to the movies w/ susie, going to bowling alley with johnny, going to the waterpark w/ tom... etc etc... next thing you know, she has given them over $100 in a months' time (easy to do really) and yet, has to argue with them to help her @ home.

 

[bumbershoot]

And the two oldest 11,7 were responsible for the whole thing. We discusssed that I would not be paying for ANY extras. All purchases for the three weeks (one in disney) would need to be covered by their amount. I can not tell you how well this worked!

Can I ask you how much they had? I'm thinking seriously about doing this with DS on our upcoming trip. It's something that has *sort of* being practiced/done in the past, though not with regularity. He's 8 and WANTS to spend his OWN money, but since we fund DH and my souvenir budgets, we want to help fund his souvenir budget. But I can't come to a conclusion about the amount. He's an "only" and we LIKE buying him stuff! Especially Legos; they are a whole-family project when he gets a big set.

Anyway, back when they did the "free on your birthday" promo, we had APs to Disneyland, so he got a giftcard. He was 5, and he did *shockingly* well with the amount. We hadn't done anything like that with him at that point, but he really got into it, and did very well thinking about purchases and delaying them when he wanted to make sure he wanted something, or didn't want something else more.

I've heard similar advice, we we "kinda-sorta" practice this with our kids, except not to the extreme of a large period of time's money all at once. I know many adults who could not "budget" thier annual income up front.. by april or may, they'd be out of money, lol!

I think that's the hope of the OP, though, that she can help her kids learn to do it?

Any kid who might have loans for college will have to figure out how to do that, especially once in grad school.

Good practice for a salaried job that has a once-a-month paycheck, too!

 

[Happyjen27]

Thank you for sharing that!

We did something similar, our 5 year olds each had $25.00 cash and $25.00 on a gift card for our trip last month. They got to choose when to spend it, and they did great. We never had to argue or say "no". We paid for all snacks through the DDP. Next trip, we'll still cover snacks OOP (no more DDP for us), but they will have their own money from now on for souvenirs.

 

[MomToOne]

I've heard similar advice, we we "kinda-sorta" practice this with our kids, except not to the extreme of a large period of time's money all at once. I know many adults who could not "budget" thier annual income up front.. by april or may, they'd be out of money, lol!

The system we do with our kids (ages 12 and 9) is this:
1. @ the begining of each month they each get a "set" amt of $ from us. My 12 year old it's $15 and my 9 year old gets $10. The theory is this is for incidentials throughout the month & the amt will increase as they "age". It will "cap" out at some point, and once they have a job and earn money, then this would probably go away. I'm guessing they can earn more than $20 a month @ a real job!) They get this $ simply because they are part of our family and I love them

2. Again, They are part of our family, so there are chores assigned to them that they must do or else they lose a privilage (Oh, didn't unload the dishwasher? well now you get to unload the dishwasher & no tv tonight etc) There is no other "payment" for these chores. You do it because you are part of the team. They either do what is expected or they get some sort of penalty. Also, if they are asked by thier parent or other adult to help with something (hey grab this & help carry to the trash etc) thats not optional. They just do it or again, suffer the penalty (loss of some sort of priviliage) of not being a team member...

3. There is a list of "jobs" on my fridge at all times and a $ value assigned to each. These are extra tasks that they are not expected to do (they don't have to do any of them if they don't want to) but if they choose to do them, they can earn the stated amount of money. Payday is every 2nd Friday.

4. Other than family events (like going to the movies or out to dinner as a family) DH & I don't pay for anything else. We buy them all the school supplies, lunches, dinners @ home & to take to school etc), a reasonable amount of nice quality clothing throughout the year as needed & appropiate. If they want something someother time, or if they want to go to the movies w/ friends, or to the ice cream shop w/ friends etc, etc, etc- they have to pay for it with thier money. If they want a candy bar @ the grocery store checkout... they buy it with THIER money. (now sometimes, I will buy it, but that's cuz I'm the mom & like to treat my kids, but when I say sometimes I would guess 3 or 4 times a year.. it's truly "sometimes".) If they know we are going on vacation & they want souvneers.. they save for it & buy it.

At 9 & 12, there's not much need for actual budgeting, but it's good practice for later. When they are 16 & want to go out w/ friends more often, they'll have to make sure they saved & worked enough to have movie money. & perhaps (I'm hoping) they will learn that maybe I should have waited to buy that (whatever) because now I don't have any money and have to miss going out to (wherever) with friends because I didin't "save".

I do #1, 2 and 4 with DD12 too. Now that she is in Jr. High, I give her $40 a month, which she is expected to use for pretty much everything "optional". I do buy the requirements: a reasonable amount of clothing, school supplies, etc. But everything else is up to her. She gets some cash here and there from her Aunt too, so usually she has more cash on her than I do

I started giving her an allowance back when she was about 5, and have increased both the cash amount and the items she's expected to cover for herself as she got older. It's turned out well all in all. She definitely likes to shop, but she's good at evaluating what's worth her money and what's not.

 

[Canooknic]

Our boys have been saving their birthday and Christmas money for their 'one day' Disney trip (we aren't telling them that we are going until the morning we leave).
They both have $200 and they can buy pretty much whatever they want, I'm not going to let them buy junk, but luckily one of them loves Lego and the other just wants a new dinosaur from Build-a-dinosaur so will probably come back with quite a lot of his money.
I'm not telling them how much they have, because they will have no concept of how much is, but will make sure they think before they buy.

I don't know when we'll be going back so we're going all out!!

I love these ideas for getting your children to appreciate the value of money - its definitely something we will be doing with our little guys (after this trip obviously!! )

 

[danielle79]

I am definately doing this with my then 8 and 9 year old next time we go, get them a gift card with $100 on it and tell them that whatever they want for a souvenier and when it's gone it's gone. My girls don't ask for a lot. They recently had $ and giftcards for Christmas and we brought them out to spend, my middle daughter likes to hoard $ but also loves to spend it. My youngest found two things and she was thrilled. Last time we were at the World I told them they could pick out one toy and one clothing item, they were fine with that. My hubby and myself bought all the snacks, many many churros for my little girls!

 

[KELLY]

We do this. My youngest is getting a 50.00 one next month for her birthday. Plus a couple of toys. I will probably get another 25.00 for there Easter basket. my mom plans on getting them each one for Easter as well.

We will be in the world for older dd birthday. She wants a Lego gift card. So she will get 100.00 one and no toys. Plus she will have 50.00 in June from her 5.00 a month I give her for all green chart at school. I,m not sure what she is doing with that. She wants AG doll but She rarely plays with the 2 she has. I would rather her get a Disney GC or Lego since she loves Legos.

Once it is gone that is it. I pay for everything else if the do PL, temp tattoos,snacks ect. lLast year we went for 10 nights they each had 125.00 and it was more than enough. My youngest was at Epcot the last day trying to figure out what to buy. We lucked out and found one of Merida's brothers but because she waited she was able to get it. Older dd had spent her money so she was out of luck.

 

[rszdtrvl]

He's an "only" and we LIKE buying him stuff!

I know how this is. Our "only" is 16 and we love spoiling him!

He is going to have his own money for DL. We will give him $100, and he can transfer some of his savings onto his debit card. He is a shopper, and I know he will really enjoy going to the shops in California. He is a smart spender though, which is good.

 

[momto3pirates]

With my three boys, we opened Chase liquid accounts for each one and put $250 in each. It is amazing how much less asking for stuff there is when it is "their" money they are spending! My DS9 loves to shop. With this method he really thinks about his purchases. We split our time between Disney and Universal so having a bank debit card was much more useful than gift cards from a particular place. I did keep the cards with me for safe keeping though.

 

[bumbershoot]

I know how this is. Our "only" is 16 and we love spoiling him!

He is going to have his own money for DL. We will give him $100, and he can transfer some of his savings onto his debit card. He is a shopper, and I know he will really enjoy going to the shops in California. He is a smart spender though, which is good.

We're all still hoping for the end of his "only" status, but in case that doesn't happen, we remind him that the negative of siblings is less money for him! And he would have to lock up his Legos for a few years, never playing with them in public spaces. That definitely makes him think, LOL.

With my three boys, we opened Chase liquid accounts for each one and put $250 in each. It is amazing how much less asking for stuff there is when it is "their" money they are spending! My DS9 loves to shop. With this method he really thinks about his purchases. We split our time between Disney and Universal so having a bank debit card was much more useful than gift cards from a particular place. I did keep the cards with me for safe keeping though.

Ooh, that's a good idea. I'll have to look into that! There might not be time before our trip, though; they send the debit cards in the mail, I take it?

ETA....aha, research is good! no they don't send the cards (for anyone else who is interested), you get them right then! Ooh, monthly fee, though. Ick.

 

[shortbun]

I've always gotten my son involved in our budget. We divide the spending money into envelopes and he keeps track of what we have left. He also gets his spending money in a gift card and some small bills. We always stay within out budget that way. This summer, we're taking him and 3 of his friends to the beach for two weeks. They are 17, almost 18. Normally, we go out to dinner every night. This trip, we'll be making crock pot food for the boys and the 3 adults will be going out most nights. I've told them all they need their own spending money. It will be interesting to see how that goes.

 

[Sheaboys]

When we went to Disney World in August this year, we told the kids we would shop 1 day. That was it. So last day of the trip, we went to DTD, into The World of Disney, we did not give them a set amount, but the reality is, in my mind I was thinking $30 each. We never told them the amount, but let them make their choices. My only requirement was, buy something you can not get any where but Disney World. So 2 chose TShirts and 1 picked out an embroidered disney hat. The 2 younger one's got 2 things each, both items could be bought anywhere, but hey they are younger. We also set a time limit, they had 30-45 minutes to find what they wanted and get in line with me to pay for it. There was no whining about getting stuff in stores at the end of a ride, or he got this, or he got that. Our expectations were clear.

As far as chores and paying goes, until I get paid for doing their laundry and mine, or washing dishes, cooking and cleaning up, they won't. They all, help with what has to get done around the house. Their reward is, partaking in sports every season, sometimes 2 sports a season, scouts, camp etc. The 2 older boys "work", they referee for soccer and baseball. They are 12 and 14, and both began at age 11. So ds3 will start that this fall as well. They can do whatever they want with the money they earn. DS1 made $160 this soccer season and ds2 made $130, not bad for an hour or two for 6 weeks of soccer.

 

[momto3pirates]

Ooh, that's a good idea. I'll have to look into that! There might not be time before our trip, though; they send the debit cards in the mail, I take it?

ETA....aha, research is good! no they don't send the cards (for anyone else who is interested), you get them right then! Ooh, monthly fee, though. Ick.[/QUOTE]


We have several Chase accounts so the monthly fee is waived. Definately not a good idea with fees attached.

 

[reginaastralis]

We're trying to make this decision for our 8 year old as well. I want to get her a debit card because it would be easier for all of us to keep up with. She got $175 on visa gift cards for Christmas and it was really awesome with her really thinking about what she was buying and the decisions she was making. The only issue is when she has to have cash for something ...

 

[kellia]

Call me old fashioned, but I think cash is the best for kids to use. I don't want them to get used to "swiping" that early! It's also easier for them to see what they are spending and actually "feel" like they are parting with money. Not to mention, there are far too many people who don't know how to make change if the cash register glitches! I'm not saying anything against giving a gift card, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get a debit card for them.

 

[mom2t]

This is what we have been doing with our son for the last 2 years and it has worked great. He has become a great saver and when he does spend he is shocked how much his money goes down.

 

[tink68]

I have been doing this with my 2 kids for years but we do gift cards. So far this year they each have 100 but I am thinking of telling them that if they will help with a few things around the house before we go I will add maybe 50 to each. They are 7 and 16 and it is so much nicer then having to listen to them beg or whine about wanting something. They really think about what they want and watch their spending and I no longer have a headache at the end of the day.

 

[sskem96]

We follow Dave Ramsey, so we don't give our kids any set amt of allowance money, only what they earn. They are 13 and 16, so will be working real jobs soon enough. Their employer isn't going to pay them if they don't work hard, they will just get sent home, so we are trying to teach them a good work ethic and to learn to save up for what they want since that's what we have to do in real life. I fear that giving them a large amt all at once and expecting them to make it last would just allow them to make a large purchase without having the discipline of saving and could lead to irresponsible spending later.

We have a list of chores that the girls have to complete to earn their spending money. They each get $15 every other week if they complete everything, but they usully end up only earning about $7-8. If they're saving for something special, they'll work harder and earn more. If they get lazy, they don't earn as much. I don't have to worry about taking away their phones or whatever for not doing their share of the chores. They just get paid less and therefore take away things from themselves like the ability to go to the movies with a friend because they won't have enough money to go.

 

[pocomom]

" I fear that giving them a large amt all at once and expecting them to make it last would just allow them to make a large purchase without having the discipline of saving and could lead to irresponsible spending later. "

I think it is two sides of the same coin excuse the pun, you are teaching your children a work ethic and about EARNING (and we do that piece too with them having the option to earn money throughout the year for various extra chores... but the piece we were working on is SPENDING habits... I think there is no better lesson than to let them make their mistake about a purchase and be out of money for something else they want. I can imagine the first time they miss some social outing as a teen because they had to have that name brand _____ , They will think about budgeting, needs vs wants, big wants vs little wants etc. on their own. Much better to learn that now when what is at stake are toys, clothes and movies!