Kids and homework

[CharityLynn]

Ok so this has been a stressful day with homework.

Background:

My son has some developmental delays esepcially with math, he was in 3rd grade last year but for math testing at a kindergarten level. Reading he's superb at, can read anything you put in front of him.

Well today he has 2 pieces of homework, one is underlying words that need to be capitalized. He refuses to do it correctly. He also has some definitions and he just keeps putting random letters he has gotten 2 correct by doing it. Although he did do some of it most of it I coached him on.

I feel like I give him the answers when i try to help. His other page is math and I have erased it 4 times now. He is screaming and crying and extremly stressed out. But I don't want to give him the answer I have tried to explain it the best i know how. (One part is estimating) And he just now brought the paper back to me AGAIN and its all wrong still... He just isn't tkaing the time to really look at it. I mean the estimating he may just not get since it is math, I almost want to give him a calculator to do it...but he's suppose to it on his own, I think.

I have no clue what to do. Do I simply write a note to his teacher? Do I continue to force him to do it over and over when it is clearly upsetting him? I know I don't want to sit and give him the answers. I want to cry right nwo because I don't know how to help him.

He is suppose to go to a special eductaion class but they haven't put him in it yet.

Any advice is appreciated.

Charity

 

[golfgal]

If you keep making him do it over and helping him with the answers the school won't know how much he really is struggling. I would let him do the work his way and let him turn it in. I would schedule an appointment with his teacher ASAP and get him some help and get him into his class NOW.

 

[lovetoscrap]

When my kids get frustrated with their homework we call it quits. DD9 is very tired when she gets home and some days she is just at the end of her rope with school work. Homework is supposed to be a practice/review of what was done in class and a way for the teacher to see if the kids understand the material. If you give him the answers then she will think he is doing fine.

When we have a struggle I send the homework in as it is with a note that explains that she didn't understand how to do this and needs more help. Especially with math kids can get really confused if the teacher does it one way at school and we parents try to teach it a different way (remember old math and new math?).

While I don't mind HELPING my kids, I won't give them the answers or teach them the material.

I am not one to stress over grades. If they get a 0 for not doing the homework I just don't care. As I like to tell my kids, Harvard doesn't look at your Elementary School grades for admission. I want them to get the help they need and master the material and not focus on just getting a good grade.

 

[taylor3297]

As a former math teacher ( this is my first year in 17 years not teaching) I would appreciate a note from the parent stating what you have been going through at home. Then I would assist the parent in finding out why this child is not receiving the services he is supposed to be receiving. What is the delay? If a child is to receive special services there should not be a wait. Please persue this with the school as soon as possible. Chances are your child is not focusing on his homework because he isn't comprehending correctly, thus doesn't want to do it. If this is so, I don't blame him for his lack of wanting to do the homework.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Ok so this has been a stressful day with homework.

Background:

My son has some developmental delays esepcially with math, he was in 3rd grade last year but for math testing at a kindergarten level. Reading he's superb at, can read anything you put in front of him.

Well today he has 2 pieces of homework, one is underlying words that need to be capitalized. He refuses to do it correctly. He also has some definitions and he just keeps putting random letters he has gotten 2 correct by doing it. Although he did do some of it most of it I coached him on.

I feel like I give him the answers when i try to help. His other page is math and I have erased it 4 times now. He is screaming and crying and extremly stressed out. But I don't want to give him the answer I have tried to explain it the best i know how. (One part is estimating) And he just now brought the paper back to me AGAIN and its all wrong still... He just isn't tkaing the time to really look at it. I mean the estimating he may just not get since it is math, I almost want to give him a calculator to do it...but he's suppose to it on his own, I think.

I have no clue what to do. Do I simply write a note to his teacher? Do I continue to force him to do it over and over when it is clearly upsetting him? I know I don't want to sit and give him the answers. I want to cry right nwo because I don't know how to help him.

He is suppose to go to a special eductaion class but they haven't put him in it yet.

Any advice is appreciated.

Charity

Unless specified by the teacher, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you two doing it together, especially when he is struggling with it. Try to relax and get him relaxed and if he can, have a go at it again. Just walk him through it.

For example, if you had the problem 34 + 21, here's a way you could do it together:

You - "Ok, first we look at the sign to see what we need to do. This is a plus sign and that means to..."

Him - "add"

You - "Right! Ok, then we go away from the plus sign over to the ones column and add those two numbers together. How do you like to do that? Do you like to count on your fingers, draw objects, use manipulatives, touch points?"

And so on. That's perfectly fine. The teacher should be thrilled that you did it with him, not upset that he didn't do it entirely alone.

 

[dogodisney]

Oh, I feel your pain! It's not easy.
I go through this with my DDG(6). She is in kindergarten (we had retained last year). I have gone through the same thing with her but in every subject. She has an IEP and has some developmental delays also. Last year it got to the point I wrote the teacher a note and asked her to gear the homework to DDG's abilitities because I was tired of doing her homework and I didn't feel that she was getting anything out of it. It was so bad a had to write things out in a highlighter so she could trace the letters/numbers because she couldn't/wouldn't do it on her own. I also would write on the homework paper what I had helped her with so the teacher would know.
The kicker is with all that, I had to fight with the school to retain her. They wanted to move her to 1st grade even though there was a lot that she wasn't able to do on her own. I know we made the right decision.

 

[kacaju]

why are you erasing his homework 4 times?? I have a child with an IEP. Her work is her work I did not correct her homework for her. Unless the teacher asked you to help *teach* him you should leave it alone.
I always told my dd's teachers unless they wanted me to correct her homework I will not. What they saw, finished or unfinished that was what she did. Personally I think you are going to mess with his self esteem by making all those corrections.