Kids and Christmas lists, ever NOT get the items?

[KKB]

Us too, Santa only brings one gift. The rest is from us. Now that my daughter is 8 she just asked why some kids get lots of gifts from Santa and she gets only 1. I told her that I can buy her a lot of the things she wants so I tell Santa he only needs to bring them 1 gift and can give the extra gifts to kids whose moms and dads can't but them for them. So I just have to worry about getting them each their 2 santa gift, other than that if they don't get it I can explain it was too expensive, I couldn't find it, they already had something similar etc.

We do the opposite--pjs & a book from us, the rest from Santa. They don't get everything on their lists. But I use the excuse "WE would never buy you that much stuff..." Of course, kids are 15, 12 & 10...10YO still believes but figure we get one more year after this at best...
I used to get by for about $100/kid. I am struggling to stay under $200 this year...their lists are very short; but when each item runs $50+ OUCH! (it is KILLING DS15 that all his friends have COD Special Ops but he has to wait for Santa....)

 

[britfish]

We have the kids (DD7 and DS5) write letters to Santa and to list the 3 things they want the most. We also tell them that Santa only brings one toy each and then fills their stockings. We explain that Santa can run out of the popular toys so that is why they have to put 3 things so Santa can choose.
This way we only have to buy one of the 3 things and we are good regarding Santa. We can then choose either to buy the rest of the things on their list or other things we think they will enjoy and they know those are from us, not Santa. It keeps things simple and if we have a year where we cannot afford to buy everything on the list, they do not have to lose faith in Santa. I think not getting what you ask for is a big reason kids start doubting Santa is real and I would like to keep the magic as long as possible.
To OP: IMHO, it is not fair for DS not to get his wish just because DH already has one. As far as your DS is concerned, he does not have one and really would like one.

what a great way to explain it!

 

[bridget]

My children understand that parents get a bill from Santa.

This explains why they do not get all the toys on their list, but it also explains why we give gifts to the Angel tree at school, why we adopt a family, etc, because not everyone can afford to pay a Santa bill, when they have so many other bills to pay.

Plus they also know that Santa sometimes knows about gifts that aren't on their list, but he knows they will like them. They understand that their list is just a list of suggestion, and Santa picks and chooses what he thinks they will like the best.

I like having a list, because then I know what to say when grandparents ask

 

[jacksmomma]

As a general rule of thumb, I agree wholeheartedly . . . but I did break that rule once, and it worked out well: When my kids were younger, they were enthralled with the idea of Baby Bottle Pops. I wouldn't buy them because they make a huge mess and were overpriced. They never actally put these candies on their Christmas lists, but one year I bought them each a couple for their stockings.

It just happened to be THE YEAR that my oldest started to question whether Santa was real, and when she saw those Baby Bottle Pops, she was SURE. She announced to us all that she KNEW Santa was real because Mom never would've bought those candies!

It was great. I got another year or two of belief out of her!

That is a great story! I think I would break that "rule" for little things like candy or to keep the magic alive.

 

[Friendly Frog]

My children understand that parents get a bill from Santa.

This explains why they do not get all the toys on their list, but it also explains why we give gifts to the Angel tree at school, why we adopt a family, etc, because not everyone can afford to pay a Santa bill, when they have so many other bills to pay.

Plus they also know that Santa sometimes knows about gifts that aren't on their list, but he knows they will like them. They understand that their list is just a list of suggestion, and Santa picks and chooses what he thinks they will like the best.

I like having a list, because then I know what to say when grandparents ask

My parents did this too!

 

[StitchBuddy]

Wow, I have loved reading all these posts! I use to take my DD to the store and let her make the longest list ever and send it to Sanat with her to[ 10 items highlighted. That way I always knew there would be at least a couple of things on there that I would be in agreement with and she would love. Usually it was Bratz related. Now her list is small and expensive. But, I try to get as much as possible.

 

[Halbleib1]

Yes, but remember that I never celebrated Christmas and was raised in a different fashion; i.e., we did not believe that Christmas was Jesus' b-day (I could go on forever on what we did believe, but I've tried hard to forget). I also did not celebrate my b-day, nor did we hardly recognize it. Not saying it's right, just saying to each their own.

Sounds like you grew up as a Jehova's Witness.

If you look into it more you will find that Christmas is not actually Jesus's birthday and that Christmas was not actually a Christian holiday to begin with. Somewhere over time it has become the day that Christians have chosen to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Here is an interesting link talking about why that date was chosen: http://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_sel.htm

 

[NMW]

I always get the things on their lists. Or, I asign them to my parents or in-laws. Both sets of grandparents spend about $200 per kid, so it's easy to "spread out" the bigger gifts between what they buy and what I buy.

Also, my brothers and sister in laws do pretty good gifts for my kids as well, XBOX games, American Girl items.

Because of this, I don't have to do it all.

Only my DD 8, still believes in Santa and I mean, she REALLY believes. She is the one that asks for the most. Her list is huge! I remember last Christmas she was so dissapointed that Santa did not bring her a Zhu Zhu pet hamster. When anyone asked her how her Christmas was, or if she got everything she wanted, she talked about the dumb hamster. Two months after Christmas she had 4 of them, but it didn't matter. She still talks about how Santa brought other kids a hamster, but not her. She was crushed. I felt terrible that I did not do a better job tracking one of those hamsters down in time for Christmas.

This year she is getting pretty much everything on her list. There are 2 American Girl outfits that are back ordered until Dec 14. I am really hopping they arrive in time.

I guess I try to make Christmas so special because that's exactly how it was in my house growing up. My mom went all out for Christmas. Every gift we wanted, Martha Stewart-type decorations, dozens of homemade cookies, Christmas movies playing in the VHS player. For Christmas dinner we each (3 kids) got to pick out the dessert we wanted and she made all 3. She is a fantastic baker and an excellent cook. She would make any side dish we wanted. Christmas eve we went to church and had tons of shellfish and even more desserts.

While it was amazing as a kid, it's actually quite a lot to live up to.

 

[MinnieForMe]

Hi:
I NEVER buy everything on my kid's list. It is a "wish" list and nothing more. This year my son wants two rated M games and we told him he can wish all he wants but neither Santa nor Mom/Dad will bring an inappropriate game to a 9 year old.

Santa also only brings three gifts per child in our house. Three because Baby Jesus received three gifts from the wise men. Mom and Dad bring the rest!

 

[Janepod]

We have always had the rule that my son can only as k for as many things as his age (e.g., age 5=5 items on Santa list.) He really carefully thinks about what he wants before he commits to only 5 things! Luckily they were somewhat reasonable this year: Lego train, Hot Wheels, Kung Zhu, train tracks and (the unreasonable one) tickets to Disney! He's never been but all of his friends have gone lately ... little does he know we have a trip booked for January!

In our family, Santa brings some things and family brings more gifts. Also, my son understands that he has to get everyone a gift -- this years it's a framed copy of his school picture plus some homemade Christmas ornaments.

Also, we contributed a number of things to Toys for Tots, including Zhu Zhu pets and Lego sets (things he wants for himself). I talked to him first about why we were doing this and why it was so important - he was perfectly happy to drop the toys off, no "why can't I keep that for myself." Hopefully he is learning that Christmas isn't all about buy, buy, buy, me, me, me.

 

[kayrosek]

Nope, I have never gotten them everything on their list. It's a wish list & I usually ask them to star their top 3 wishes. I try to get at least 2 of those but they never think about some ideas that I give them because they aren't the commercialized items.

DS knows he is not getting a touch because he received a DSi last year & it's been lost in the house more than used. He also asked for the SnapCircuits car set & that is his big item. If I went by his list, it would be all wii & DS games. Instead he is getting one of each plus the HP Lego game, a chemistry set & book of biology experiments along with some other things.

DD10 has been asking for a camera for the last year so that is going to be her "big" gift this year with accessories. She asked for an EZ Bake oven, Blizzard Maker & Dots maker. They are all junky toys so I might get one or get some cooking things for her that work better. She did not ask for but is getting a book on cartooning because she loves to draw them.

DD16 is getting the clothes she wants but also some stuff she hasn't asked for as well.

I like to get them some things they have asked for but add in some surprises too.

This is pretty much what we do. I always try to get a couple things from thier lists, but never everything, and there is always a surprise usually something they have mentioned before or that I know they want but haven't thought to ask for. This year DD11 wanted most of whatever catalog she was looking at currently and a cell phone and laptop. She is getting the cell phone but not the laptop a few of the toys but not all and a Minnie Mouse dress and rennaisance style recorder that are no where on her list but she has mentioned several times throughout the year. DD13 has been told that Santa will not bring her top item (a guitar) so that will be a big surprise as we caved on that one. We decided on a very nice art set as a surprise gift because every pencil set or box of crayons is a treasure to her. Two or three weeks ago she surprised me and added that to her list out of the blue then forgot it when telling grandma what she wanted. She is also getting a high school hoodie that wasen't one her lust but that she has begged me to buy every time we have seen it. DS 10's list changes daily so I often worry that by Christmas nothing we have bought will be on the current list, but this year his top item has stayed there the whole time and he is getting that. Earlier in the year he talked incessantly about a cell phone so he's getting one of those and for his birthday in Oct. I coulden't find one of his major items (a specific Lego Halo set) that he mentioned several times for weeks after so that will be brought by Santa (who can find anything).

 

[lolakat]

I agree with the above poster who suggested you take the heat off Santa and tell DS that you told Santa not to bring that present.

My DD age 3 has been saying for weeks that she will ask Santa for a pogo stick. I told her that she is too little for a pogo stick and that I told Santa not to bring it because I don't think it is safe. She seemed to accept this and now she has gone on to asking for an accordian (where does she get this stuff??) which Santa will happily provide.

 

[DawnM]

Gracious no we don't get everything on their list! We would be broke......

BUT, to be fair to my kids, they are aware that we have a monetary limit!

Two years ago they wanted a Wii. We decided to hide it in the basement and Christmas morning they opened everything else upstairs. They did NOT even comment on not getting a Wii. Later, after they discovered it my 10 year old said, "Oh, I just figured we couldn't afford it." I love my kids!

This year they really wanted a ping pong table. Well, I found someone with a ping pong table to get rid of who wanted a Thomas the Tank table.....we traded....FREE!

Dawn

 

[HALEYSMOMMOM]

No not everything. I find that kids sometime don't even know what they want. Once they get it, its like"oh I thought it did this and this, and it doesn't" or it just sits there. I find that i can do some research and find what they would really like much better. And they know this too. For instance, a certain nerf gun is on my son's list this year. i know that that nerf gun is too hard to shoot for him. So he won't get it because he won't enjoy it. He will get things that he doesn't even know to ask for though, that I think he will enjoy much more. And its a surprise!!! Kids really enjoy surprises generally, when its something they really like. I think many people forget to add that element anymore.

 

[angierae]

My DD15's list this year was 5 video games, six books, and gift cards to various stores. Oh, and tickets to see New Kids and Backstreet Boys next summer.

She's getting the six books she asked for plus three more, a ticket to the concert, two of the video games she asked for, the Toy Story boxed set (weirdly, we don't have any of them on DVD), a bunch of makeup and candy in her stocking, a 3 month XBOX Gold card, a magazine subscription - and we almost exactly hit the $300 limit we have.

She'll get some more stuff from her Dad and his side of the family, and when our side of the family asked what she wanted, I named off the gift cards she wants. She'll probably end up with hundreds of dollars in gift cards so she can go buy whatever other video games she wants.

Oh, and my MIL is giving her 4 private flute lessons because she's been asking forever. (She plays Clarinet and percussion at school and I have spent enough on THAT. She got a hold of a flute from a family friend, tho, and so she'll get lessons for christmas.)

Oh, and her Sweet 16 is on the 29th and she'll get a ton of stuff from people THEN.

But she's NEVER gotten everything on her list. And I think that's a good thing. (Ask me sometime about the baby doll bunk beds I asked for EVERY YEAR growing up, and never got. )

 

[disneymom3]

Sounds like I do this differently than most. It's pretty common in my family so I thought others did it too. My kids afre not allowed to give me a list. I don't want one. For us the fun of gifts is to think of something others would like. We chat sometimes about what people would like but it's not like they give me a shoppoing list. I don't like the connotation that it's an expectation. THey DO make a list for Grandma because she would be lost without it. And I give a few suggestions to the sister's in law.

 

[talulabelle]

I do try my best to get everything on the list (as long as it's within reason) I don't feel bad at all that I don't but TV's for their rooms even though they are on the list. I just tell them, that Santa won't bring TV's for their rooms because TV's in the bedrooms is against our families rules, and Santa won't break our families rules. Those type items are just excessive, and I don't mind being the bad guy that isn't allowing it.

I do usually accomplish getting everything on the list with a few exceptions. My DD last year had a LOOOONNNNGGGG list with many high ticket items on it. It would have been unfair to get her more than her brothers, so I didn't get everything. My boys didn't have much on their lists and I needed a couple more gift ideas for them - so I bought my one son the inexpensive video camera that my DD wanted. I thought it was a good idea at the time...I thought that this way, he would have more to open and have an even number of gifts, but that she would still get enjoyment out of the item and could share with him since she wasn't getting it. Well it was NOT a good idea. She was ticked off that Santa got it for him when she was the one that asked for it. I tried to explain what Santa's thought process had been that she had just asked for too much. Turns out the video camera must have been the thing she wanted most.

So I told her to learn from that , that if she really wants something, she shouldn't put so many things on her list that she could do without and should just keep the list to the few things she really really wants, that way Santa won't make a mistake and buy her a whole bunch of her items that she just throws on the list and neglect the things she really wants. I think it worked, becasue her list was really steamlined this year and listed the top three things she was hoping for. Problem is, she still won't be getting one of the items because she asked for the Barbie Digital Nail printer. The thing cost $200 and looks like a piece of crap. I've read some bad reviews, and even though she will be dissapointed, I just can't worry about it because I know her well enough that she will use it once, be disappointed, then it will sit neglected. Not going there this year.

 

[tink576]

Hi:
This year my son wants two rated M games and we told him he can wish all he wants but neither Santa nor Mom/Dad will bring an inappropriate game to a 9 year old.

lol...My has really wanted to ask Santa for a rabbit for the past few years. She has been waned not to bother a gift on the rabbit. It was hard for her to understand that if Mom wouldn't let her have a rabbit before Christmas...then if Santa comes and leaves a rabbit...well then Mom will trump Santa and the rabbit will be gone by lunch, and she will have wasted her "big gift". She has decided that she'd now rather ask for gifts mom and dad will let her keep...

 

[Fishteacher]

My daughters are 5 and 2. Since she was old enough to understand, my oldest daughter has always created a list with 5 items on it. My husband and I make it with her so that we can "guide" her in the right direction. We tell her that santa cannot bring a toy that she already has. Luckily she is still young enough to desire the less expensive items. I do not look forward to the day when she discovers technology. We make sure to get her those 5 items because she is such a good kid and we do promote the whole idea of making and sending the list.

 

[DawnM]

A friend of mine has a Newf dog/puppy, it is about 150 pounds. She took it to the vet yesterday and a boy was sitting in the waiting room. When she walked in the boy's eyes got really wide and he said, "MOM, it is a BEAR!" Mom replied, "No honey, that is a dog." Kid says, "I need to go back to the mall." Mom asks, "Why?" He replies, "I need to tell Santa something else I want for Christmas!"