Jungle Cruise Jokes

[goofydad621]

Not part of the script, but these two made me laugh the hardest:

As we approach the end you will see a dock on your left and a dock on your right, that would be a "pair of docks," (paradox) and that would make the two skippers you see waiting up there a "pair of dorks."


Whwn we got off the boat:
Skipper Dan will help you out by the rear, not that rear ma'am, this is adventureland not fantasyland.

We heard both of those last year from our Capt. Amy

They were the funniest
Side note my daughter was picked to drive the boat and she was thrilled.

 

[mom22boys]

You all have awesome memories! I remember laughing the whole way through the ride, but I couldn't quote any of the jokes. I know there is one about Shirley's Temple. Can anyone remember how it goes?

 

[simzac]

I've never been on the Jungle Cruise, didn't think the kids would like it, sounds like the CM's are humorous though, is it worth the boat ride?

Wow, you've missed out on one of the best attractions at the MK. Make sure you check it out on your next trip. JMO

 

[tobidisney]

The whole thing was a joke...

they were training DM's for HOng Kong, and our "guide" barely spoke the language, so in her best english, with no expression, she read the script!!!!

DH and I had a good laugh at that, she tried, but it really was funny...

 

[mb168]

We were down three weeks ago and had the most hilarious time on Jungle Cruise. Please do not take this any other way but we had a female asian guide with a very heavy, almost American caracature stereotypical accent. So it was so funny to hear the same jokes we all know by heart being recited in an accent so heavy you had to strain to figure out which joke she was telling. A virgin Jungle Cruiser would have no idea that there were jokes being told. The whole boat was ROLLING so hard in laughter our sides and cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.

 

[mb168]

Ah, we posted at the same time. Hong Kong CMs, that must be it. But it wasn't just merely going over a script by rote, she was laughing and making gesters just like any other guide and really getting into it with her best Engrish she could.

 

[mb168]

Oh, DW just reminded me of the funniest part of all. After hearing all of the jokes from our Asian captain, we get to the temple, start through and she turns around all quiet while you're inside in the dark. Then all of a sudden we barely hear a low voice (in Engrish) singing Its a Small World!!!! I thought I'd die!!!

 

[mickeystoontown]

Why can't Tigger keep any friends? He's always playing with Pooh!

 

[TDC Nala]

Not part of the script, but these two made me laugh the hardest:

As we approach the end you will see a dock on your left and a dock on your right, that would be a "pair of docks," (paradox) and that would make the two skippers you see waiting up there a "pair of dorks."


Whwn we got off the boat:
Skipper Dan will help you out by the rear, not that rear ma'am, this is adventureland not fantasyland.

and once...

"Here we are back at the dock, where you'll be helped out of the boat by the Lee brothers, Ug Lee and Home Lee."

 

[hobogary]

A long time ago, the one about "if you enjoyed your ride, my name is bob and enjoy your day at Disney world, if not i"m chad and welcome to Busch Gardens

 

[CapEldano2]

How about...

"If you enjoyed this ride, I'm (insert CM's real name here) and this was the Jungle Cruise. If you didn't enjoy this ride, I'm (insert fake name here) and this was Mission: Space."