Joking about the teenage boyfriend.

[livie1205]

OMG now I see EVERYTHING now comes down to PC! wow people...I have 2 boys and a girl..I would be fine with a father letting my boys know no hanky panky!To see it on here all your boys are 100% fine unpstanding boys.I guess then you will not have to worry about them getting hurt by some dad.I was a teenage girl at one time and let me tell you your boys are NOT sweet and upstanding all the time...they will do things that would make you cringe and oops not tell you about it.

 

[Momvic5]

I am OK with a little ribbing as long as all the fun stays respectful. I think that most boys enjoy a good joke, but if the joke or joking crosses the line into intimidation then I (the mom) have a problem with it. As the mother of two boys, I feel the need to protect my sons just as much as I feel the need to protect my daughter. My older DS just turned 13 yrs old, and he is very tall and handsome. Already, he has run into a few "aggressive girls", and we have not even entered into the dating game yet. In my experience with my son, many girls tend to be overly huggy and touchy with the boys, and some will even try to wrestle with the boys. I am a mom who has given a few girls a soft word of warning so I am OK with fathers giving a soft word of warning to my sons.

 

[MushyMushy]

OMG now I see EVERYTHING now comes down to PC! wow people...I have 2 boys and a girl..I would be fine with a father letting my boys know no hanky panky!To see it on here all your boys are 100% fine unpstanding boys.I guess then you will not have to worry about them getting hurt by some dad.I was a teenage girl at one time and let me tell you your boys are NOT sweet and upstanding all the time...they will do things that would make you cringe and oops not tell you about it.

But why just let the boys know that there should be no hanky panky and not the girls too? I used to read my son's chat logs when he was younger and let me tell you, the things those girls would say to him would curl your hair. My son was FAR from being upstanding, but he always treated girls nicely and he wasn't a dog, nor should he be treated like one just because some cranky old man thought he was such a stud in high school.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I never really thought about it. My parents never did this to me. But then, I was the one who made the decision to follow my church's teachings regarding physical boundaries. My parents knew the guys I dated in middle school/9th grade and they trusted me to stand up for myself and be a good judge of character. I went to college in VA (I live in MO) when I was 15 so the bulk of my true dating relationships happened away from parental supervision. But they still trusted me and I quickly kicked more than one loser to the curb. I have always been frank with my boyfriends about what I am and am not willing to do and have never been pressured to compromise that. I think because I told them from the get go.

After reading this thread I realize how lucky I am. My parents love my boyfriend and would never dream of sayng anything like that to him. They want him to propose almost as much as I do! And his family is pretty much the same way about me.

Jokes are jokes. As long as they are meant in fun, I don't see the harm. It is important to note that you cannot stereotype. People are people. Everybody is different. Not every guy is a horndawg, and not every girl is a money grabbing tramp. Teach your kids from an early age what is and isn't appropriate. I would hope that a parent could trust their child to be a good judge of character, or to at least be strong enough to stand up for themselves if the person they are dating is not who they thought they were or is trying to pressure them into something. If not, that child is not ready to date (IMO).

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Everyone keeps talking about pregnancy like thats the biggest problem w/ teenaged sex! HIV and other STD's are the biggest problem....and that _IS_ passed both ways. So, yes, the ones who worry about the 'trampy' girls have just as much to worry about. (And, yes, teen pregnancy is a very real, difficult problem - but rarely kills the people invovled...) So, yes, the comparison is quite legit.

True but the PP made the reference to a girl being after his money so that is what I made the statement regarding. Money and pregnancy aren't equal.

I've had 2 very close friends that contracted AIDS and passed away far too young. Another close friend suffers with it today. I make sure my kids are WELL aware of all the dangers related to sex - not just pregnancy.

But why just let the boys know that there should be no hanky panky and not the girls too? I used to read my son's chat logs when he was younger and let me tell you, the things those girls would say to him would curl your hair. My son was FAR from being upstanding, but he always treated girls nicely and he wasn't a dog, nor should he be treated like one just because some cranky old man thought he was such a stud in high school.

Agree - we as parents should educate our own children - BOYS AND GIRLS - about what the consequences of sex can be. I don't think all boys are bad nor are all girls either. I try to have open lines of communication with my DD and believe me for every time we have ribbed her boyfriend we have had at least 10 times more conversations with DD about sex.

I don't think any parent out there is going to encourage their teenager to have sex BUT realistically kids are going to do what they are going to do. All we as parents can do is arm them with as much information as possible and let them know our thoughts/wishes on the subject and hope they make the best decision.

 

[Va-bear]

True but the PP made the reference to a girl being after his money so that is what I made the statement regarding. Money and pregnancy aren't equal.

I've had 2 very close friends that contracted AIDS and passed away far too young. Another close friend suffers with it today. I make sure my kids are WELL aware of all the dangers related to sex - not just pregnancy ............

I don't think any parent out there is going to encourage their teenager to have sex BUT realistically kids are going to do what they are going to do. All we as parents can do is arm them with as much information as possible and let them know our thoughts/wishes on the subject and hope they make the best decision.

I see the point you were making and I didnt mean to sound as if I was jumping on you....I just get frustrated by the "but girls can get pregnant thing..." I see that was not your point there and sorry again. I too have lost friends to Aids and the very first got it thru heterosexual contact when that was pretty unheard of, so I can get pretty 'preachy' about wanting ALL people to protect themselves. I, personally, dont think males or females need to be threatened and reminded of "what's expected" by their dates parents. Instead, we all need to teach our kids how to know right from wrong and how to use good sense all around. And you bolded statement says it all perfectly.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I see the point you were making and I didnt mean to sound as if I was jumping on you....I just get frustrated by the "but girls can get pregnant thing..." I see that was not your point there and sorry again. I too have lost friends to Aids and the very first got it thru heterosexual contact when that was pretty unheard of, so I can get pretty 'preachy' about wanting ALL people to protect themselves. I, personally, dont think males or females need to be threatened and reminded of "what's expected" by their dates parents. Instead, we all need to teach our kids how to know right from wrong and how to use good sense all around. And you bolded statement says it all perfectly.

No worries. So sorry for the loss of your friends. It is so hard to bury your friends young. One of my friends who contracted AIDS did so the first time he had sex with his girlfriend. Bad things CAN happen - even the first time.

Kids today don't believe that bad things can happen to them at all. I've seen the bad things happen to people I loved. I don't want that happening again. I sure hope I have done a good job with my children in teaching them about the dangers and risks - ultimately the rest is up to them.

 

[ilovejack02]

My oldest son is 20. I was honestly fine with a tad of .. you behave your self ribbing.

BUT it goes both ways. As someone else said, I also read my oldests myspace and IMs at times when he was a young teen.

I was FLOORED by the stuff some of those "sweet little girls" said. It was not all of them by any means and usually my oldest was pretty good about being respectful back. ( NOT everytime mind yuo and I called him on it .. he wasnt an angel either. ) I can't pretend he was perfect.

I can remember catching one of the young ladies on the phone when he was 14, she kept calling and calling and leaving dirty messages and IMs etc. He let me hear it all after failing to get her to stop himself.
I handled quickly and swiftly.. she never bothered him again.

I think I would have had a real problem with a father that harassed him. Thank goodness we only had one that was rude, just to be rude and once he met us as a family and knew I did my best to keep up with him he backed off .

 

[ginna74]

It is an old tradition passed from generation to generation (= many many years)and is nothing to get upset over, THAT IS, unless your son DID something that he should be scared about!!!!! lol(I have kids from both genders here too so not being sexist here lol) . We are preparing our son for future shotgun owners and dads saying to behave and we have the shot gun waiting with our daughter!!! (figuritivly (sp?) of course) I am sorry about all the lols but can't see being upset over an old saying like this

 

[JoanGirardi]

I have two sons and one daughter, and these kinds of jokes are just tradition, and not to be taken seriously. I know my sons have heard them and it didn't bother them in the least. I'm sure they're waiting their turn to intimidate their sister's dates when she starts dating. I think that it's interesting that this discussion went on for so many pages!

 

[ckay87]

I have two sons and one daughter, and these kinds of jokes are just tradition, and not to be taken seriously. I know my sons have heard them and it didn't bother them in the least. I'm sure they're waiting their turn to intimidate their sister's dates when she starts dating. I think that it's interesting that this discussion went on for so many pages!

I think it's interesting too! I hope everyone realizes that I'm not seriously upset over this type of joking. And I'm rarely PC at all....in fact, just to put this in perspective, my boys own their own hunting rifles. But more than anything, I think it's interesting that this is a type of joke that's still acceptable in today's PC society. How many jokes that threaten violence against someone else's offspring are still acceptable? This is the last remaining one!