Joking about the teenage boyfriend.

[aprilgail2]

Given what I know of teenage boys, striking fear into their hearts is the best possible attitude for a father of a teen girl to take.

I should have expanded upon this to mention that a lot of DD's female friends scare the bejeepers out of me with the extent of their knowledge and INTEREST in the opposite gender. .

I am still thinking about what we overheard on line at the Jonas Brothers concert last night- there was a group of girls in front of us they looked/acted about 13 or so and heard them say that they were starting high school this year (so could be 13 or 14)--one stepped aside and was on the phone. when she came back she was a bit upset and told the rest of them- "crap, my mom found an empty condom wrapper in my room, guess I have to come up with a good one before I get home."
ugggg, SO not looking forward to my daughter getting older!!!!!!!

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I think on one level...its a parents' responsibility to protect their child (at least until their 18). A lot of Dad's think of their daughters as "Daddy's girls"---they are the only man in that little girl's life for 14 or 15 years...then all of a sudden they are "replaced" by a young man. It is hard for a Dad to deal with. THis is no excuse for rudeness towards the boy, but perhaps it is seen as a Rite of Passage?

 

[pat fan]

I have 2 boys and let me tell you, in my experience, it's the girls who are aggressive! I don't think my guys are angels, but the talk, dress and actions of these girls is beyond belief. Any of you who have "nice" girls in the 17-20 age range, I'd love to meet them. My boys are handsome, kind, and treat girls VERY well on dates (opening doors, paying for everything, buying them gifts etc...) and the little so-and-so's just want the guys who treat them like crap. After finding out she was running around behind his back, one girl told my DS that the only reason she went out with him was for the stuff he did for her....nasty girls!

To the OP, yes it does bother me when people take that attitude, although most parents love my boys.

 

[luvsJack]

I have two sons and both have been told these jokes by the dads. "Ya'll have a good time, I will be right here cleaning my gun"; "I'm not afraid to go back to prison" etc. etc. They pretty much took them as a joke and went on. When I was told about it, I just laughed and said "well, you better watch it".

Now they are grown and have a little sister coming up and one has a baby daugher now. They both plan to be here when little sis goes on a date and telling the same jokes along with her father (their stepdad). And the same is being said for ds's baby girl when the time comes.

Its not really about being disrespecful to the boy, but being protective of the girl. Daddy's (and uncles and brothers) just feel very protective of the teen girls in their lives.

 

[ozarkmom]

I think its a long running joke and that's how I take it. I have 2 boys and a girl my husband has joked about these things and you ought to hear what I've said about some of the girls my boys have dated. If someone is out right rude well then that person is just a jerk and that's how they would be with anyone period.

 

[threeboysmom]

Amen. When the little horndawgs think that Dad (or the Uncle) is just a little off his nut when it comes to his girl (or niece) then maybe he'll think twice before doing something stoopid.

As the mom to two wonderful teenage sons, I have find this VERY offensive.

How would you all like it if I started calling your teenage daughters... no I won't say it...

 

[Kies99]

As a dad of a 7yo and 6yo daughters, here's my take.

Putting a little "fear of God" into a boy is fine on my end. I wouldn't be rude about it, but that boy would know who the big dog is in the scenario.

I have two brothers and I know what we were like when we were younger.

However with my 7yo, I'm already feeling bad for any future boyfriends! She's such a Type A personality that she's totally going to dominate them!!

 

[JoiseyMom]

Nope..I am the mom of 3 sons and 1 DD. Two of my boys are young men and one is recently engaged. The engaged DS knew that DFIL had a gun!! I had no issues with it. He was afraid to tell the man that his DD was moving in with him !! The have been together 7 years and she would spend some nights over here!!

And I have no issue with boy jokes. My DS's are as over protective of their lil sis as their dad is! I feel sorry for the boys that want to date my DD, but at least I know they will think twice before they try something they shouldn't!!

Teenage boys want one thing (ok 99.9%) from a teenage girl. Yes, there are alot of them that are respectful about it and are willing to wait..but most of em... . I know..I have been there!! Hormones are hormones.

And yes, some teenage girls are just as bad..but not that many. I did once read a note some girl sent to my DS.... What a SKANK!!!

Just realize something about this dad... your son won't come home pregnant!! His daughter could!! Sorry if he was a jerk...there are right ways of joking and not so.

My DH loves the line from Clueless... I have a .44 and a shovel, no one will miss you!!

 

[diznygirl]

As a dad of a 7yo and 6yo daughters, here's my take.

Putting a little "fear of God" into a boy is fine on my end. I wouldn't be rude about it, but that boy would know who the big dog is in the scenario.

I have two brothers and I know what we were like when we were younger.

However with my 7yo, I'm already feeling bad for any future boyfriends! She's such a Type A personality that she's totally going to dominate them!!

I consider it a rite of passage. My now DH was "threatened" by my older brother. My DH accepted the "terms" as it were - and that elevated him in my brother's eyes. And here we are!

And I hear ya - I have a little girl like that. "Sir, I'd like to date your daughter. "GOOD LUCK!!!"

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

I am the mother of two sons and DH says he will tell their girlfriends to call him if his son tries anything. DH was a teenage boy not all that long ago; he was a "good" boy by most standards, and he remembers what was on his mind back then!

I wouldn't be offended if a girl's father was extra-protective of his daughter, but I would question his judgment if he made inappropriate comments or threats of bodily injury (even in jest) to a teenage boy.

By the way, my sons are both under 4 years right now, so we'll see what really happens when they get to dating age!

 

[HM]

Not sure what I think about it.....as it's never been used around me.

On the other hand, I do remember my Dad's best friend taking on the "and what are your intentions toward this girl" thing with a couple of guys over to visit me and my sister. He was a big hulk of a man, so pretty intimidating. We just thought it was the funniest thing.

 

[Arielle22]

Joseymom, I love that line from Clueless as well.

Once when a coworker's wife was pregnant he found out the baby was a boy. He was teasing me and said "well I don't have to worry about him coming home pregnant like you do with daughters". I told him I have to worry about 2 girls getting pregnant but you have to worry about him getting every girl he sleeps with pregnant! He hadn't thought about that.

OP, if a father is telling your son to treat his dd well then I don't see what the issue is. If your son already plans on that then great, if not he is on notice that someone will be upset with him.

My niece is 23 and her boyfriend recently broke up with her via Facebook. He works with DH and DH wanted to say something to him but our neice asked him not to.

 

[ckay87]

OP, I think you're being overly sensitive. A joke is a joke, get over it.

I am open to any and all thoughts or opinions on this subject. Furthermore, I am not in any way losing sleep over this, therefore it's unnecessary to advise me to "get over it." The remainder of your post was interesting, though.

 

[ORMom2Four]

It does not bother me.

Dh told me that his parents joked about me too when we were dating as teens, so I assume it's a parent teasing kids thing.

 

[ols386]

My Dad used to joke around about that when I was a teen, but we (including boyfriend) knew he was joking, so it wasn't a problem.

If the father is being RUDE, that' another story, and isn't necessary or nice (unless maybe there is some kind of special circumstance causing the father or whomever, to behave in a rude manner.)

 

[NHdisneylover]

DD12 is too young to be dating yet. But, at 5'6" and curvy she looks more like 16 or 17 than 12. Friends joke to us all the time that DH should start getting his guns ready (DH does not now nor has he ever owned guns--most of these friends know that). If I wanted to analyze it I suppose I could be annoyed that friends are insinuating DD can't take care of herself (she is another one where I wish the poor boy luck--he'll need it), or annoyed that they may be giving her little brother ideas that his life will some day be threatened by every girl friend's dad. BUT it is totally obvious it is a joke and it is such an age old joke most people are not even really thinking about what they are truly saying so it doesn't bother me or the kids at all. I don't personally use the joke becuase it is overused and pointless but I don't get worked up about it.

 

[babytrees]

I have a teenage daughter (that is dating) and I agree it's over the top with the stupid jokes about the dads doing things to the boys. Part of my thinking is that if their dad actually tried something like that the boy would just laugh in his face (I am the one they are scared of). The other part is I treat them with respect and in a loving manner and they know I expect them to do the same with the girls they are dating. The last boyfriend was worried that we wouldn't like him anymore when they broke up. The only one of her boyfriends I haven't liked is the one who disrespected her, and he knows it.

 

[MushyMushy]

I don't mind the jokes, but when it starts to go over the top or get obnoxious, rude or threatening, then I think it goes way too far. I agree with those who say we wouldn't like it if parents started targeting girls with the jokes and rudeness, so why do it to boys?

 

[dicar123]

I wonder, if I made DS11 read this thread, would he decide to never date?

That could simplify things for everyone

 

[INDISMOM]

This is what my husband has told me in the past when we have had discussions about our daughters' future dating:

"You have never been a teenage boy -- I have. I KNOW what they are thinking."

That being said, he would never be rude or mean, but could possibly joke with the boys who date our daughters.