John and Elena's Planning Journal...new wedding date!

[malaea3]

Congratulations! What a wonderful proposal. We are doing the same thing with our honeymoon. We are doing a short one at disney and Italy 6 month later. I cant imagine planning a honeymoon at the same time.
Congrats again.

 

[ilovefh]

Dress Shopping Update!

It was a nightmare! I loved lots of gowns, but I didn't have that moment when I looked at a dress and said this is the one. I picked the one I had been looking at for a few months and I love it!

The nightmare part....I figured since we were an hour and a half from home that I'd have my MOH (my sister, 22) try on some gowns. Wow this was a pain! She refused to try on anything. Said she wouldn't wear anything frilly or dressy. Hello it's a wedding! She threw a fit! Basically she just kept saying nope...nope...nope to anything I picked. I don't think my choices were too far out there. Here were the two I wanted her to try on.
http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_detail.jsp?stid=3327&prodgroup=110
and
http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_detail.jsp?stid=1552&prodgroup=110

She actually started crying! Now a little background...I have come to believe (as has my both my best friend and my Df) that my sister has a mood disorder. Her mood changes so extremely and so suddenly it is scary! For example in Disney she was laughing and joking before she got into the shower and screaming at us when she came out. What happened in the shower I will never know, but this behavior is common!

So on with my story...
When she started crying in the store I was so uncomfortable and embarrassed. I told her to forget it, I wasn't going to do this in the store. The worst part is my parents coddle her. She has learned all she has to do with them is to throw a fit an cry and they will give in. So when she starts crying my mom say's "Come on, just go with the dress she picked out." As we were leaving dinner she got in the car and I asked her not to sit on the catalogs we had just gotten. She flips her lid! I told her and my parents that if this was how she was going to behave then I could not have her in my wedding! I cannot be worried that she will blow up anytime during my wedding! It's already stressful enough. So of course now my parents are mad at me. It really put a damper into what was supposed to be a fun day!

I know a while back that someone posted about not wanting their sister in their wedding due to a similar situation, does anyone know what they did? I'm just so afraid that if I let her be my MOH she'll cause a scene and that if I don't it will hurt our family.

Any advice? She is my only sibling.

 

[ilovefh]

Congratulations! What a wonderful proposal. We are doing the same thing with our honeymoon. We are doing a short one at disney and Italy 6 month later. I cant imagine planning a honeymoon at the same time.
Congrats again.

Thankfully ours is a quick easy plan! DVC ressies...check. APs...check. MNNSHP tickets...check. Flight...as soon as southwest opens their schedule we can check this off. Everything else we'll just wing it!

 

[lov2b@disney]

Sorry about your sister! That's a tough situation-especially being your only sibling! How old is she! She needs to remember this is your day, not hers! I think if it where my sister(i have 3) we be sitting down and talking:

 

[ilovefh]

Sorry about your sister! That's a tough situation-especially being your only sibling! How old is she! She needs to remember this is your day, not hers! I think if it where my sister(i have 3) we be sitting down and talking:

She's 22. The problem is her mood swings are so severe and so often that I don't know that she can control them. I really think she has a mood disorder. My mom just told me they have brought her in to a psychiatrist in the past but she wants nothing to do with it. They say, and they are right, she can't get help unless she wants it. But, they don't encourage her to get help either. I told them she needs an intervention. I don't know. I'm just really upset about it. I want her there, but at this point she is too much of an emotional liability.

 

[lpizzuro123]

Thanks for the info about the Mickey invitations. I am going to look into this incase we don't have enough time to do them ourselves.

Linda

 

[lov2b@disney]

She's 22. The problem is her mood swings are so severe and so often that I don't know that she can control them. I really think she has a mood disorder. My mom just told me they have brought her in to a psychiatrist in the past but she wants nothing to do with it. They say, and they are right, she can't get help unless she wants it. But, they don't encourage her to get help either. I told them she needs an intervention. I don't know. I'm just really upset about it. I want her there, but at this point she is too much of an emotional liability.

Oh boy! That's tough! Would be much easier if she was just being a brat!
I dont think giving in to what she wants will help her though and it certainly is not fair to you!

Good luck!

btw-I think the dress choices are beautiful! and I really like yours too

 

[lpizzuro123]

Sorry to hear about your sister. I am an only child and I am having my 3 best friends as my attendants - we have know each other for over 30 years.

As far as your dress goes - I love that dress - I tried it on in Davids also and although I did not go with it I did go with an Alfred Angelo dress with some color in it - white and claret - and my girls will be in claret.

Af far as your sisters dress goes - I really like both of them and they are not too frilly - especially the first one.

Hope things work out.

Linda

 

[irisbud]

Sorry about your sister. I don't see anything about the dresses that you picked out that should make her upset to have to wear them.

Have you talked with your mom about the situation with your sister? Your mom must know what she is like, and maybe will be willing to help you work things out. I know families can be tricky, though, and maybe this isn't an option for you.

I don't know how much good talking to your sister will do. If she truly has a mood disoder (especially if she is in denial about it), it may actually make things worse. If she is in a foul mood on your wedding day she may remember your conversation and resent you for it then who knows what may happen.

I think that the best thing to do is to be very rational. Sit down with your mom and talk to her about your sister's behavior. If your mom is resistant, remind her of examples of this poor behavior in the past. Be reasonable but firm that you are afraid she will cause trouble at your wedding. Tell your mom the same thing you have said here: your sister is your only sister and you would like for her to be in your wedding as your Maid of Honor, but this will not be possible unless something changes.

This will be very difficult, but I think that, whatever you do, the key is to remian calm. People will be easier persuaded to see your POV (even if they don't like it) if you have rational reasons and don't get dramatic. Don't let this ruin your wedding. Go with your gut. If you KNOW you must be proactive in order to stop it then take charge now. You will feel better when you do, and it won't be festering inside of you any longer.

Good luck!

BTW, love that dress. I tried it on when I was looking for dresses but it didn't work for me on top. It's a beautiful dress, though, and was the first Wedding dress I ever tried on!

 

[ilovefh]

Oh boy! That's tough! Would be much easier if she was just being a brat!
I dont think giving in to what she wants will help her though and it certainly is not fair to you!

Good luck!

btw-I think the dress choices are beautiful! and I really like yours too

Thanks so much!

Sorry to hear about your sister. I am an only child and I am having my 3 best friends as my attendants - we have know each other for over 30 years.

As far as your dress goes - I love that dress - I tried it on in Davids also and although I did not go with it I did go with an Alfred Angelo dress with some color in it - white and claret - and my girls will be in claret.

Af far as your sisters dress goes - I really like both of them and they are not too frilly - especially the first one.

Hope things work out.

Linda

Thanks! The bridesmaid dresses are still up in the air! I love the white/red combo! I am a huge contrast person!

Sorry about your sister. I don't see anything about the dresses that you picked out that should make her upset to have to wear them.

Have you talked with your mom about the situation with your sister? Your mom must know what she is like, and maybe will be willing to help you work things out. I know families can be tricky, though, and maybe this isn't an option for you.

I don't know how much good talking to your sister will do. If she truly has a mood disoder (especially if she is in denial about it), it may actually make things worse. If she is in a foul mood on your wedding day she may remember your conversation and resent you for it then who knows what may happen.

I think that the best thing to do is to be very rational. Sit down with your mom and talk to her about your sister's behavior. If your mom is resistant, remind her of examples of this poor behavior in the past. Be reasonable but firm that you are afraid she will cause trouble at your wedding. Tell your mom the same thing you have said here: your sister is your only sister and you would like for her to be in your wedding as your Maid of Honor, but this will not be possible unless something changes.

This will be very difficult, but I think that, whatever you do, the key is to remian calm. People will be easier persuaded to see your POV (even if they don't like it) if you have rational reasons and don't get dramatic. Don't let this ruin your wedding. Go with your gut. If you KNOW you must be proactive in order to stop it then take charge now. You will feel better when you do, and it won't be festering inside of you any longer.

Good luck!

BTW, love that dress. I tried it on when I was looking for dresses but it didn't work for me on top. It's a beautiful dress, though, and was the first Wedding dress I ever tried on!

I've talked to my mom and she said she has tried and is trying to help my sister get some help. She's 22 so it is more or less encouraging her. My mom did write us each a letter where she explained how hard it is living with an estranged sibling. (my uncle became a jerk when my grandparents died. He wasn't happy with the will!)

She did say she sat down with my sister and she says she is on board and won't act like that again. I really need her to tell me that though. She still refuses to discuss it. It's getting down to the time when we need to order dresses so she needs to make up her mind soon.

I need to pick flower girls and a ring bearer. The problem is we have a good friend of the family who has a boy and a girl and I'd like them. I also have my cousins two girls. I am much closer to our friend's children and haven't seen my cousin's children in almost a year. My dad is really pushing for my cousins, but that leaves no ring bearer. Can I have three flower girls?

I think this is the dress we might go with for the flower girls(s)
http://www.davidsbridal.com/flowergirl_detail.jsp?stid=2315&prodgroup=11

 

[ilovefh]

We also picked out centerpieces and favors! We got both at the Christmas Tree Shop! Our centerpieces were $2.99 each! I'll have to take a picture of them! We didn't want anything huge because there will be a picture frame on the table as well with the table name. I can't explain them so when I take a picture I will update.

I didn't want the small picture frames for table assignments so we went with something that looks like this

It will be vertical and will have the name of the person/couple and their table assignment. It is a 5x7 I think. I like the idea of my guests getting something they will use later.

As for my cake, I still need to find someone to do it. I stole this from someone else's thread. This is what I would like without the ears on top. SO if I can find someone that can do it, they'll get the job!


Also, we'll be in WDW May 8-12 if anyone wants to get together!

 

[lpizzuro123]

We just LOVE The Christmas Tree Shop. We started going to them when we would up to Cape Cod and they have just started coming to NJ. The frames look great also.

We will not be getting to WDW until May 25 for our planning session so we will miss you but it would have been nice for a Dis brides get together. There is one the end of May that I am going to miss also. Maybe you could plan one for earlier in May.

Linda

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Finally A Backwards twin! We are doing the same!Started planning but are not "Engaged"... And I will be shocked when it does happenbeause I am not expecting it... lol

Congrats on your plans and I cant wait to read more!

 

[ilovefh]

We just LOVE The Christmas Tree Shop. We started going to them when we would up to Cape Cod and they have just started coming to NJ. The frames look great also.

We will not be getting to WDW until May 25 for our planning session so we will miss you but it would have been nice for a Dis brides get together. There is one the end of May that I am going to miss also. Maybe you could plan one for earlier in May.

Linda

Oh yeah forgot to add the frames....$.89 each! Woo Hoo!

Finally A Backwards twin! We are doing the same!Started planning but are not "Engaged"... And I will be shocked when it does happenbeause I am not expecting it... lol

Congrats on your plans and I cant wait to read more!

I was shocked too when it happened, even though I knew it was coming! I cried like a baby! Oh wait I have some pics!
Enjoy your plans!!

 

[calanniebu]

As for my cake, I still need to find someone to do it. I stole this from someone else's thread. This is what I would like without the ears on top. SO if I can find someone that can do it, they'll get the job!

Our baker was FABULOUS! I also took him a picture and he was able to recreate them perfectly. I had individual cakes for each person that looked like mini-packages. His website is www.trulyjorgs.com. I can also send you pictures of our cakes. He also was our caterer but we originally contacted him for only our cake.

 

[ilovefh]

Here are some pics from our trip! Keep in mind I was crying like a baby for the proposal so I look horrible!


And Here is one of us in the aiport before we left.

 

[ilovefh]

I've been absolutely terrible about updating but I thought I would post some new updates!

We went to pick up my dress last week. Boy was it an eventful trip! The woman asked if I would like to try it on, and thankfully my mom stepped in and said yes. I would have walked out without looking at it! As she unzipped the bag and I saw the dress I saw that it was the wrong dress! They had ordered me the wrong dress. Long story short I had ordered a petite and apparently the whte/apple dress did not come in petite (the consultant said it did) so they assumed I wanted the ivory/champagne dress because it said petitie, even though the form clearly stated WHITE/APPLE. The woman tried to convince me that the new dress was pretty. It was, but didn't match the color scheme. The dress I wanted would arrive in time for my wedding. It also needed a lot more alterations than planned because it was a woman's dress and not a petite. So after about two hours and trying on every dress they had with red in it I went with my second choice dress except with a red sash.

I think these are the shoes I want from payless.

We also went today to pick our menu. The woman from the hall is so fantastic. She priced things out individually for us as well as the package. Doing things individually saves us almost $700. So we'll be having chicken marsala and prime rib.

I also found a backer to do my cake, but instead of silver, the mickey heads will be red.

Now we just need to figure out our honeymoon plans. We have a room at AKLV. He is very excited about that. Now we need to figure out if we'll do a dining plan or not. We thought the delux dining plan would be good because it would differentiate this trip from our other two this year!

I also need to chose my hairstyle soon!

ETA: Sister update....She's been on medicine for her mood for two months and she is a totally different person!