Is this a tacky thing to do at a baby shower?

[PrincessKitty1]

Once when there was a big baby shower at work, the mom-to-be had somebody sitting next to her to write down all the names and gifts, and I just casually mentioned that Ms. Manners says a thank-you card is unnecessary if you open a gift in front of somebody and say thank you right then.

The mom-to-be immediately took my words as etiquette gospel and dispensed with the idea of than-you notes.

(BTW, It's been a long time since I addressed my own thank-you note but I never minded doing it. What I think is tacky is registry info on a wedding invitation.)

 

[meandtheguys2]

Once when there was a big baby shower at work, the mom-to-be had somebody sitting next to her to write down all the names and gifts, and I just casually mentioned that Ms. Manners says a thank-you card is unnecessary if you open a gift in front of somebody and say thank you right then.

The mom-to-be immediately took my words as etiquette gospel and dispensed with the idea of than-you notes.

Now, you are a girlfriend worth inviting!

 

[aprilgail2]

I think that is a VERY tacky thing to do- I have never had anyone do that at any shower I have ever been to around here! How hard is it to address a envelope?? Wow, I can't even believe that people would be that lazy. My baby shower was on a Saturday ( there were 52 people there) and on Monday morning every card was out in the mail- all addressed by me and with a personalized note in each one- its REALLY not hard to write thank you cards for petes sake!!

 

[mefordis]

Of course it didn't KILL you. It is merely an issue of the person giving the party (no one gives their own) trying to make things one step easier for someone special. (And no, I've never done this. I don't give showers!) Why not make things easier for our girlfriends? Women have it hard enough without the BS and witchiness.

If this is the person who gave the shower, she should have the addresses already. She should fill out the envelopes themselves instead of offloading it to the guests.

 

[LaraK]

Add me to the "I wouldn't do it myself but I don't care if you do" column. Honestly? I don't care about getting Thank You Notes. I hate doing them with a flaming passion (although I do and I make my kids do them) so I don't care what you do to make your life easier.

What bothers me more is when people don't open the gifts you get them in front of everyone. I love seeing the reaction in person...much better than a thank you note.

 

[Keli]

Sure, it's tacky. I logically know that in my head even though I've been to lots of showers where this was done.
But it doesn't offend me, not even a little. To each their own.
But I know we won't be letting that happen at dd's wedding shower.

 

[mefordis]

I don't think anyone here gets offended by having to fill out their own thank you card envelope. I think some of us just find it tacky. There is a difference between finding something unclassy or tacky and being personally offended by it.

No one, that I've observed here, finds it offensive, I don't think. Just lacking class

 

[Briarmom]

I've never heard of this.
I guess at first it would strike me as odd, but then I'd get over it because it is no big deal. Plus, if they are using them in a 'prize drawing' that is a smart idea.

Oh, and I don't know if this was mentioned, but the mother to be probably had nothing to do with the planning. I know I didn't. If you think it was tacky, it was not HER being tacky, it was the hostess.

Women just can't win with other women.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Yes it is tacky.

She has time to come to the shower, unwrap the gifts and take them home. Why not enough time to address the envelope and write a thank you. Also there is a father too. Why can't he help?

 

[meandtheguys2]

I've never heard of this.
I guess at first it would strike me as odd, but then I'd get over it because it is no big deal. Plus, if they are using them in a 'prize drawing' that is a smart idea.

Oh, and I don't know if this was mentioned, but the mother to be probably had nothing to do with the planning. I know I didn't. If you think it was tacky, it was not HER being tacky, it was the hostess.

Women just can't win with other women.

Just like sharks swarming... What a pleasant world this would be, if people would treat one another with kindness, rather than looking for a chance to pounce!

 

[mefordis]

I've never heard of this.
I guess at first it would strike me as odd, but then I'd get over it because it is no big deal. Plus, if they are using them in a 'prize drawing' that is a smart idea.

Oh, and I don't know if this was mentioned, but the mother to be probably had nothing to do with the planning. I know I didn't. If you think it was tacky, it was not HER being tacky, it was the hostess.

Women just can't win with other women.

No one is singling out the mother to be necessarily - I guess the person to single out as being tacky is the person who initiated it. In this case it was one of her friends. So no one is bashing the mother to be.

 

[mickeyfan2]

If this is the person who gave the shower, she should have the addresses already. She should fill out the envelopes themselves instead of offloading it to the guests.

When the hostess address the invite to me she could also address the thank you card and then give the stack to the mom-to-be.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Women just can't win with other women.

OMG, I was just saying this the other day..no matter what the subject, we end up being our own worst enemies..why is that?

 

[meandtheguys2]

No one is singling out the mother to be necessarily - I guess the person to single out as being tacky is the person who initiated it. In this case it was one of her friends. So no one is bashing the mother to be.

yeah...how rude of her to think that the friends and family of the mom-to-be might want to do something kind for her.

 

[mefordis]

I've never heard of this.
I guess at first it would strike me as odd, but then I'd get over it because it is no big deal. Plus, if they are using them in a 'prize drawing' that is a smart idea.

Oh, and I don't know if this was mentioned, but the mother to be probably had nothing to do with the planning. I know I didn't. If you think it was tacky, it was not HER being tacky, it was the hostess.

Women just can't win with other women.

Um... I don't think gender has anything to do with it. If I went to a dude's birthday party and was given a stack of envelopes for my own thank you card, I would find it equally tacky, whoever came up with the idea - male of female.

 

[mefordis]

yeah...how rude of her to think that the friends and family of the mom-to-be might want to do something kind for her.

She didn't do anything -- she got the guests to do something for the mom to be! What she should have done if she wanted to relieve the mom to be from addressing the envelopes was do it herself. This was kind of a lazy kind of favor, and it gave an air of tackiness to the event.

 

[LaraK]

OMG, I was just saying this the other day..no matter what the subject, we end up being our own worst enemies..why is that?

It's the men. They play dumb..but really the whisper in our ears at night... "can you BELIEVE they had you address your own thank you note? And I bet she's going to BOTTLE FEED! You're not going to let her do that are you? And what about the sleeping arrangements...I bet she'll let that baby just cry it out! You better say something...but not to her, tell all your friends...." They figure if we're busy fighting with each other and passing judgement we'll be too busy to notice how useless they're being.

 

[meandtheguys2]

It's the men. They play dumb..but really the whisper in our ears at night... "can you BELIEVE they had you address your own thank you note? And I bet she's going to BOTTLE FEED! You're not going to let her do that are you? And what about the sleeping arrangements...I bet she'll let that baby just cry it out! You better say something...but not to her, tell all your friends...." They figure if we're busy fighting with each other and passing judgement we'll be too busy to notice how useless they're being.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

What bothers me more is when people don't open the gifts you get them in front of everyone. I love seeing the reaction in person...much better than a thank you note.

Yeah I love seeing the reaction, too!

Women just can't win with other women.

You speak the truth. How can we get ahead in this world, when we are so busy tearing each other down?

Also there is a father too. Why can't he help?

This is not always the case.

 

[mickeyboat]

No one is singling out the mother to be necessarily - I guess the person to single out as being tacky is the person who initiated it. In this case it was one of her friends. So no one is bashing the mother to be.

I think people calling her lazy is bashing her.

Denae