Is there any justification for "We really need this vacation!"

[Ember]

It's easy to say something like, "No one ever needs a vacation," and that's fair (and sensible).

I've been thinking about it because recently a friend told me they are going on a vacation even though they can in no way afford it. Her reason, their marriage in on the rocks and she feels they "need" this vacation to help save their relationship. I get that this might not fly for some people, but I do have some sympathy for her situation. When you've been dealing with life and it's been really hard, sometimes it does feel like you need a break just to keep going, even if it isn't a very smart financial choice.

For me, when my mom was dying, we took her on a vacation that I couldn't at all afford. The whole thing went on credit. The bills are long paid off, but I don't regret a cent of that trip.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to is: Is there any reason you would consider valid for taking a trip you couldn't afford?

 

[richmond282]

I don't know that I would be able to justify to myself that I needed a vacation I could not afford. I would spend the entire vacation worrying about $!

As for your friend, I don't think a vacation is going to save a marriage especially if they really can't afford it. Studies show that one of the main reasons people divorce is b/c of financial problems.

 

[clm10308]

There have been times when I felt that I "needed" a vacation. Mostly that was back when I had a job that I really didn't like and. Opulent see a way out.
I "needed" vacations a few times a year to relax and recharge. However, those vacations were mostly a few days camping in a state park rather than big trips.

 

[delmar411]

I doubt this vacation will save her marriage. Esp if they are in financial difficulties.

I hope I am wrong though.

 

[beansmom]

yes, in your shoes--with a sick family member--i would do it.

I also don't think a vacation alone will save a marriage but it could be a needed break that allows them to pick up the wagon and start pulling together again.

I wish them all the luck.

 

[ilovemk76]

It's easy to say something like, "No one ever needs a vacation," and that's fair (and sensible).

I've been thinking about it because recently a friend told me they are going on a vacation even though they can in no way afford it. Her reason, their marriage in on the rocks and she feels they "need" this vacation to help save their relationship. I get that this might not fly for some people, but I do have some sympathy for her situation. When you've been dealing with life and it's been really hard, sometimes it does feel like you need a break just to keep going, even if it isn't a very smart financial choice.

For me, when my mom was dying, we took her on a vacation that I couldn't at all afford. The whole thing went on credit. The bills are long paid off, but I don't regret a cent of that trip.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to is: Is there any reason you would consider valid for taking a trip you couldn't afford?

Nobody needs a vacation. People do need a break from work but that could just be going to a relatives home, camping in the woods or just sleeping in.

I think there are times when putting a vacation on a CC is the right decision, such as your mother.

Your friends do not need a vacation. They might need marriage counseling but adding debt to a shaky marriage will just hasten their divorce.

 

[kirstenb1]

With a really sick family member, in a New York minute!!

 

[North of Mouse]

It would take more than a vacation (even IF you could afford it) to save a very troubled marriage - too many other issues that would make it to that point. That's like some people think that maybe having another baby will draw a troubled couple back together - nope, don't work and is very sad. Making a marriage work is a daily "work in progress" for both involved, not a magic pill. All of us that are married know that. We (together) can make it or break it. But, I too, could understand a situation like with your mother because you are trying to make as many good lasting memories as you can

 

[Riverhill]

Is there any justification for "We really need this vacation!"

Simple answer is NO. But, I do believe there are moments when " I want this vacation ( memory) and am willing to deal with the consquences of this decision"

I wanted my kids to have the memory of a WDW vacation with their Grandparents and i wanted my parents to see their grandchildren in WDW and feel young again for just a few days. Was it worth it? YES. Should I have spent the money on a new driveway or newer windows for the house? Probably. But, I will never regret seeing my entire family together in WDW. I can live with 20 years old windows.

 

[Pigeon]

Nope, not for me. If I really needed a break, I'd take a week off and do day trips and local things.

I'm not sure how adding financial stress is going to fix anybody's marriage. Just the opposite.

 

[kchughes]

Do you needed it? No. Would I regret the decision to not try everything to save my marriage? You bet. If it takes a vacation, so be it.

We live on a tight budget throughout the year and I work a second job to pay for our vacations, but I will continue to do that in order to not have regrets when my child is older and my husband is no longer able to travel due to declining health.

Those memories are better than a new stove, when mine still works.

 

[Reddy]

I'll be putting our boys into a group home after our next Disney Vacation - I need something to look forward too before letting go.

a vaction to save a marriage - usually means they go their own way after it(not always but most times)

 

[lizabu]

With a sick family member I would do whatever it takes to give them their wish if it was to take a trip or anything else.

Would a trip help save a marriage? I'm not sure. Maybe. If all they need is some time to reconnect. If they're going to be in debt it actually might make things worse.

 

[jerseygirl81]

I would think taking a trip would be a short term fix, when they returned they would have more stress on their marriage from the additional expense of the vacation. They might be better off skipping the trip and going for marriage counseling. On another note my neighbor lost her husband this year after battling cancer, she took care of her husband while going to school to get a degree in Nursing and also working. She graduated 2 days before Christmas and even though she could'nt afford it, she went on a 4 day cruise with her son who is in his early 20's just to treat herself and her son and to escape Christmas since it was their first one without her husband. That I could understand. Linda

 

[kydisneyfans]

Depends on what you call a vacation too.

-If I'm using something like Skyauction to hit the beach offseason or a mountain resort for $300 a week with a stop at Kroger for food on the way in, then yes.

-If I'm buying premium passes for Disney, taking tours, and staying at the Grand Floridian, then no.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

It depends. In the case of fulfilling a wish of a dying family member, ABSOLUTELY. In the case of someone who's in the middle of a rocky marriage, no way. Financial problems are often the underlying cause of marital problems and taking a vacation they can't afford would only cause additional stress on the marriage. Take that money and apply it to marriage counseling. That would likely be a much bigger benefit to the marriage.

 

[pigletto]

It's easy to say something like, "No one ever needs a vacation," and that's fair (and sensible).

I've been thinking about it because recently a friend told me they are going on a vacation even though they can in no way afford it. Her reason, their marriage in on the rocks and she feels they "need" this vacation to help save their relationship. I get that this might not fly for some people, but I do have some sympathy for her situation. When you've been dealing with life and it's been really hard, sometimes it does feel like you need a break just to keep going, even if it isn't a very smart financial choice.

For me, when my mom was dying, we took her on a vacation that I couldn't at all afford. The whole thing went on credit. The bills are long paid off, but I don't regret a cent of that trip.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to is: Is there any reason you would consider valid for taking a trip you couldn't afford?

Both the ones you just mentioned. My marriage and my loved ones are beyond important to me. If I thought getting away for a few days or so would bring some much needed connecting time, or especially if it was one of the last chances to get away with a loved one, I would for sure. I don't think that I would spend thousands or go deeply into debt, but I do think there is a time when getting away and rebuilding or savouring the last few memories with a loved one would trump my budget.

ETA) though I also agree with the poster before me. A rocky marriage will likely get rockier with money troubles on top of other problems.

 

[sookie]

I think I saw an article once saying that divorces are commonly filed after vacations and holidays. Opportunities where people are able to spend lots of time together and get fed up with each other.

I would say no. However, last year when my husband and I went away together, I partially did it so we could reconnect. Being in school full time and working full time makes me CRAZY. I needed to spend time with him not being stressed out and being bossy (stress makes me do this!). It was nice but it didn't fix anything - school started again and I was of course stressed and crazy again. LOL

 

[jenrose66]

It's easy to say something like, "No one ever needs a vacation," and that's fair (and sensible).

I've been thinking about it because recently a friend told me they are going on a vacation even though they can in no way afford it. Her reason, their marriage in on the rocks and she feels they "need" this vacation to help save their relationship. I get that this might not fly for some people, but I do have some sympathy for her situation. When you've been dealing with life and it's been really hard, sometimes it does feel like you need a break just to keep going, even if it isn't a very smart financial choice.

For me, when my mom was dying, we took her on a vacation that I couldn't at all afford. The whole thing went on credit. The bills are long paid off, but I don't regret a cent of that trip.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to is: Is there any reason you would consider valid for taking a trip you couldn't afford?

Sure you can justify a trip...doesn't make it smart but it can be done. Life is hard and then you die. In the long run, what's a few thousand dollars? If DH and I wait to take a family vacation until it won't negatively impact us financially, the kids will be graduated from college and we'll go ourselves. Of course we will take a family vacation. We won't go deluxe and spend like crazy people, but we will have a good time.

 

[LJSquishy]

Nope! Living beyond your means will only bring more heartache in the future most likely. If someone "needs" a vacation to save a relationship, they have way bigger problems and either need to see a counselor or get out of the relationship.

Vacations, eating out, cable tv, smartphones, fancy cars, etc, are for those who can afford them. They are luxuries. Sometimes we all have to do without.