Is private school worth it?

[Ashlotte]

I know the answers will be all over the place and I don't want to start a debate. I am just trying to hear from people with experience with private school on if they think it is worth the extra money. It looks like the cheapest private schools in my area would be around $5,000-$6,200 per kid and I have two children. In order to afford it, we'd have to live in a smaller house and use what we would pay towards a mortgage to pay for tuition. My main reason for wanting private it because I would like the kids to go to a Christian school, have lower class sizes, and not get lost in the shuffle. Am I naive to think that cliques in the older grades would be less in a small Christian school? To put the cost of the schools I mentioned into perspective, the "top" schools in my city charge $20,000 per student, so I don't think the schools I am looking into would be the exclusive elite type of family with oodles of money. I should also probably add the disclaimer that I am a former elementary school teacher. My district was rated top in the state and the academics were excellent. The problem was my district also had a lot of families that were very wealthy and did not display the sort of values I want my children to have.

 

[blanq]

My son attended a private Lutheran school from K-8th grade. Private schools have their issues, just like public schools do. Also, it can be a myth that class sizes are smaller, depending on the school. My son's class had 30 kids, so not small for elementary school by any means.

What I did appreciate is the relationship my child and I (and DH) formed with the teachers and other parents. The pre-school and school had about 200 students total. I felt that the teachers really cared about my child and they were all good about communicating issues and problems. There was no way for my child to "fall through the cracks", as some kids do in other schools.

Yes, I believe you are naive in your thinking about cliques. I am a believer that kids are not perfect, they can be selfish and mean. I found this to be true, even in a Christian school environment. What I found different is how teachers responded to it, and how they were consistent in the Christian messages that were relayed. An example of this is what the school called "Refocus". This was kind of like a time out, as it allowed the child to reflect anf regroup, but there also was a component to ask for forgiveness if the child did wrong.

 

[dutchdisneyfamily]

We are choosing to send our kids to a non-denominational Christian school because of many of the things you listed. However, we mainly are sending them because we felt it was the right choice for our children. It is a wonderful fit for them. We send my oldest to public school for 4 years and he got lost in the shuffle. They labeled him with an IEP for ADD and just passed him through. I couldn't believe how he just wasn't being taught. I'm not saying it's that way everywhere, because I know for a fact it's not. I'm a teacher myself in a public school. The school we are sending them too teaches them well and they are both doing well. It was the right decision for our family.

 

[vicki_c]

I think that really depends on what you are comparing it to. Where I live now, the public schools are very good and that's where we send our kids.

Prior to that, I lived somewhere with very poor schools and chose to send my son to Catholic school while we lived there.

Prior to that, same thing - excellent schools where we lived - and had we stayed there I wouldn't have even considered sending my kids anywhere but the public schools.

I have no other factors that I would consider, but others do - religious beliefs, etc.

As for cliques, I would say that they can actually be a lot worse in private and parochial schools than public - I went to both public and parochial myself and that was my experience.

 

[tar heel]

We did private school for a few years with our two oldest children b/c one of them needed a smaller, tighter environment for the middle school years. They both ultimately graduated from public school, and the youngest has gone only to public school.

IMO, the public schools where I live are significantly better academically than the Christian schools. The independent prep school is wonderful, but tuition and fees alone there is more than tuition, fees, room and board at the university my son is attending.

I think private school expense CAN be worth it. It was for us in the case of one our sons; it wasn't in the case of the other, but he did have a good education there.

 

[karice2]

As a product of private schools I can say they are worth every penny my parents put out. That being said, I went to all girls private schools with no religious affiliation.

All I can say is that I am much more assertive and was not pressured into doing humanities instead of math and science because I was a girl. We wore uniforms and had a greater educational experience then many of my counterparts. No teaching to the test for us.

I loved it and would only put my hypothetical children in private school.

 

[NYCDiane]

It depends wholly on the school itself. For $5-6K, I'm thinking you're speaking of Catholic/Christian/Parochial schools and not true "private" schools. A good private school will run you upwards of 30K.

I sent my daughter to Catholic school from K to 4th and, I can honestly say I was not happy with it at all. The school I sent her to had a great reputation from previous years but, by the time my daughter entered the school, it had gone way downhill. Parents realized this and what started out as a K class of 26 students dwindled to 17 by the time she was in 4th grade. After the 4th grade, I took her out and another family took their child out so as far as I know, only 15 kids were left in the class.

Smaller class sizes may be better in some settings but if you don't have teachers who can teach the material and refuse to get extra resources, a smaller class size isn't going to matter.

I didn't like the fact that the administration would turn a blind eye to many things just because they were afaid of offending parents who may pull their kids out of the school and enrollment would decline even further.

I didn't find the academics to be better than public school. As a matter of fact, the public school I put her in for 5th grade was at least 1 1/2 - 2 grades ahead of the Catholic school.

I think your best bet is to find parents of children who are in the school(s) your considering and find out from them what they like/dislike about the school. Don't just listen to the "oh, it's a wonderful school" or "it's like a family" ---- get specifics so you can make an informed decision. Catholic/Christian/Parochial schools charge a small fortune when it comes to tuition, uniforms, "mandatory donations", etc..... Don't waste your money for 5 years like I did.

The public schools in your area probably offer a lot more than the other schools do. I know that when I was finally able to put my daughter in a public school, I was more than happy with it. (I previously lived in a very undesirable school district which is why I sent her to Catholic school)

 

[gymboqueenkaylee]

Where I live the public school system is absolutely terrible. My siblings went to 1 day of the public school system here when we moved here and my parents quickly took them out because it was such chaos and the education was so far behind. I vowed never to send my children to these schools.

My daughter attends a christian school and has since preschool (in K now, so 2 yrs of preschool). She is leaps and bounds ahead of children that attend the public preschool here and are entering Kindergarten. My daughter would be bored and ahead if I were to switch her now. In her classes there are only 15 kids in each teachers class. There is no way that a child could fall between the cracks which I am thankful for. I do pay a nice amount for her to attend this school but, I would rather pay and her learn and if she's having issues in a particular subject, the teacher be able to help, then send her to the public school and fall behind and never catch up.

I would consider sending my daughter to public school if I were to move. I did look into moving to another town that has an excellent public school system and I would send my daughter there if we were to move there no problem.

 

[ilovejack02]

REally just depends, I attended an all girl Catholic school 7th thru 9th grade. Great school , good experience.

I transferred to local public high school after my 100 yr old school closed : (. The public school was awarded a national school of excellence title and was a top school in the area. So many options for classes , honors classes, art classes, vo tech classes . Lots of clubs , good selection of sport teams to join. Big school, but not overwhelmingly so. We had about 1000 kids in school but teachers still knew almost all of us as did our principals . I can still remember being called by name by them if acting up in the hallways ; ).


My small all girls school just didn't have the options ,but yes smaller classes and one on one time. Still had the same cliques and because it was such a small school, if you were on the outskirts of group, there weren't many others to make friends with . There were still the popular girls and still the nerds. That will never change, Christian school, public school , big or small.
At my large public school while there were a few loners , it was almost like because there were more students everyone had a group they could find to be with.

My son is in public school and as long as the public schools stay top rated in my area, we will stay with it. I really feel he has more options in larger schools.

 

[MomToOne]

My child goes to a private, non-religious school.

Public schools in our area are hit and miss. Our assigned school is a miss, although you can try to lottery into better schools. I've actually managed to get a slot at a better school a couple of times, but I've always chosen to stay with the private because it just suits my daughter better.

Pros of our specific school:
- Small class size (not always the case in private school - Catholic schools have some of the biggest class sizes I've seen!) Teachers are able to tailor the teaching to each child a bit more.
- The school still has P.E., spanish, art and music. Public schools in our area have eliminated just about all of these.
- Less concentration on "teaching to the test", more on teaching the kids to just love learning. Our school sticks to the state ciriculum, but they aren't as consumed by it - they will spend more or less time on things depending on the kids interests, etc.
- The school is very focused on teaching kids to become good citizens, not just good students.
- Our teachers don't struggle to get supplies the way public teachers do.
- We have lots and lots of field trips (which cost extra, be ready for it!). It actually gets ridiculous at times. But they give the kids a lot of exposure to things public school kids just don't get.

Cons:
- There isn't much ethnic and socio-economic diversity. I struggle to teach my child that she actually has it quiet good in life and she needs to appreciate what she has, because she doesn't see kids who don't have what she does.
- The teaching quality can be lower (notice I said CAN not IS - it really depends on the school). Teachers are often younger and just out of school - this means they may have more passion for teaching, but the lack of experience can be an issue.
- Private schools generally do not deal with children that have learning disabilities or who are gifted as well as public schools do. This has turned into an issue for us because my daughter was just diagnosed with a learning disability, and that was only because I insisted there was a problem and sought testing, not the school. She would probably have been caught sooner in the public system. Now that she's diagnosed, there are no services such as speech/language therapy through our school, or even any guidance on how to navigate the public school system to get services. I have had to figure that all out on my own.
- The cost. Oye. Tuition WILL increase every year. By more than inflation.

I think you really need to look at your child and how well the school suits them. What is a good school for one student, won't be for another.

 

[kandeebunny]

Private school has its benefits and drawbacks. I went to private school and loved it, until I got sick and needed services they could/would not provide. Private schools do not receive federal funding, therefore they are NOT required by law to follow IEP's or 504 plans. They are not required to make any accommodations as they receive no govt. funding. So once I got sick, I was asked to leave my catholic school and go to public school.

That said, up until that point I learned a lot more at private school, I learned time management, and good study habits. I had teachers who cared and were really there to help. Things that my (top rated) public school was teaching senior year of high school I learned sophomore year.

I will most likely be sending my kids to private school, even with my negative experience. I just want people to be aware that they are not required by law to provide title 1 services, in home or tutor education for sick students or any other alternative services.

 

[gatormom2tots]

I have taught at both private and public schools.

Simple answer- depends on the school! There are private schools that are academically worse and not current on the latest research on best practices in teaching. But there are some that are of the highest caliber!

You really have to look at it school-by-school.

 

[PrincessDadx2]

I know the answers will be all over the place and I don't want to start a debate. I am just trying to hear from people with experience with private school on if they think it is worth the extra money. It looks like the cheapest private schools in my area would be around $5,000-$6,200 per kid and I have two children. In order to afford it, we'd have to live in a smaller house and use what we would pay towards a mortgage to pay for tuition. My main reason for wanting private it because I would like the kids to go to a Christian school, have lower class sizes, and not get lost in the shuffle. Am I naive to think that cliques in the older grades would be less in a small Christian school? To put the cost of the schools I mentioned into perspective, the "top" schools in my city charge $20,000 per student, so I don't think the schools I am looking into would be the exclusive elite type of family with oodles of money. I should also probably add the disclaimer that I am a former elementary school teacher. My district was rated top in the state and the academics were excellent. The problem was my district also had a lot of families that were very wealthy and did not display the sort of values I want my children to have.

Hard question, but we opted for public school vs. private Christian or home school. Public schools here are good and I am not patient enough to homeschool

I think you are being naive if you think that putting "Christian" on something is going to solve any clique problems. Christians have some of the biggest cliques going. It is naive to think any school is going to solve problems. There is really only one thing that will make a difference - YOUR involvement in your kids education. If you think you can drop them off and it is the schools job to 'fix' them or educate them then you will be disappointed. Other factors to consider are that the kids expelled from public school end up in the private schools and that at $5k vs. $20k your school would probably be underfunded and have fewer options.

Our choice was to go to our public school and get involved. I am on the PTA board and my wife is a weekly volunteer. We show up at events, help teachers, eat lunch with the kids once or twice a month, etc. Parents, Teachers, and kids know us and what we expect from our children and we get a lot of support from other parents trying to help their children make good choices. It is not specifically "Christian", but we are able to share our faith and values and most people want similar things for their kids, ie well behaved, caring, doing well in school, having dreams, not using drugs, etc.

One other thing I would consider is that if you have any special needs, the resources are much greater at the public school. One DD has some learning issues and a 504 plan and she gets more support in the public school than I could provide for her outside the system.

Then I use the money for Disney since this is the Disney board

 

[Disneybuckeye]

My children went to private school K-12. They attended an archdiocese school from k-8 that was very affordable, a great education, and great parents. I was pleased. For 9-12 they attended catholic faith based schools that are single sex. I was beyond estatic with the experience at both. At the boys school the boys were so well behaved, pleasant to be around, and the academics were top notch. My daughter's school was the same way. I also did not notice any cliques and I was there all the time between volunteering for many jobs there and the four different sports my daughter played. Keep in mind we are solidly middle class and some of her best friends drive convertible Mercedes and BMWs. Nobody cared. Even though I spent almost $140k sending them to private HS alone it was worth every penny. If the schools are good, and your child does not have special needs, I would highly recommend it. Also, where we live when people ask where you went to school they really want to know what HS you attended. That means something here,

 

[Alexander]

My son has attended Catholic School since Prek. He will be starting 7th grade in a new Chrisitan school in the fall. I have no doubts that he is attending the absolute best school in our area. He will have to travel 50 minutes to get to school each day, but with a 100% graduation rate, 118 seniors graduated in June and took with them 13.5 million dollars in college scholarships, I know he is going to the best place I can send him.

 

[marius97]

I'll agree that the answer is "it depends." If you are looking at switching just to get into a better social enviroment, then it may not be all that you expect. I went to catholic schools k-12. I went to school k-8 with one girl in particular. After 8th grad, she went to public school and I moved to a catholic high school. Apparently, she got in trouble with drugs at the public school and transfered to my catholic school for her senior year. When she told us why she transfered, she said it was to get away from the drugs. We just laughed at her. Point being...private schools have the same issues that public schools do. Difference is that private school kids generally have access to more money to get into trouble with. And I went to a suburban school that was on the lower teir of cost for private schools. We had kids with parents that were leaders of industry as well as kids from the inner city. That being said, I whole heartedly recommend private schools. I just wish that we had the money/access to schools for my kids.

 

[Chelley00]

We've had kids in private and public schools. There are good points and bad points to both.

Just an FYI, the kids in private schools have just as many "issues" as the ones in public schools do. The only difference is how the teachers are able to respond. Many public school teachers have their hands tied on how to deal with students who need to be disciplined. Private schools usually have stricter codes and enforce their rules.

The principal at the private Christian high school my son attends said at open house "We cannot guarantee that any of the kids you go to school with will be Christians. We can however, guarantee that the teachers and staff will be Christians"

 

[beachbunny]

I agree the answer is that it depends.

In my state, public schools are some of the worst in the country. But I really don't know if I'd put my child in one of our cheaper private schools over public schools because I don't think it is worth the money. For me, the real test is the percentage of college bound seniors, and in my state that number is not a lot higher for small private schools than it is for public schools.

On the other hand, we have a couple of the best private schools in the country - they are Christian schools. They are not cheap, but I would definitely send my kids there. These schools have a 100 percent college-bound rate and they have produced many influential alumni - our President, the founder of Ebay, and the founder of AOL just to name a few. My nieces and nephews go to my private school alma mater. Current tuition not including books, lunch, etc. is $18,000 per child. Is it worth it? Absolutely!

In my experience, private school kids are definitely more sheltered, but you can't get away from cliques. They're a part of every school experience.

 

[tjlovespooh]

I know this isn't one of your options, but have you considered homeschooling?
I'm a former teacher as well and having been in both public and private (catholic) school settings I vowed that I would choose private over public schools. However, private schools in our area are just too expensive for us. So, I researched HS and will start K this year. DS isn't old enough to start K in the schools until next year, so if HS doesn't work out this year we'll be able to enroll him in a more traditional school next fall.

 

[marie1203]

I went to private school until my freshmen year in high school and it think is much better than public school. I went to a non-religious private school. The public school I went to was very good one of the top of the state and I was still way ahead of everyone else. About the cliques yes very naive it doesn't matter teenagers are teenagers no matter where they are. Now I really do think it depends on the school I meet people from other private schools that were at the public school level of education in that case I think it will be a waste of money.