Is it weird my son wants to do BBB as a princess?

[Magpie]

I do understand this as my 5 year old would probably say something, but not loud enough for the boy to hear. She's say it to me, and then I would immediately, and not in a harsh manner, explain to her about individual choices and happiness of others. I would then also explain about making such comments and how they could hurt another person's feelings and that as a family we try not to do that to others. If she continued to make a comment or loud enough where the little boy would hear, you bet we'd walk right up to the little boy and his family and my 5 year old would give an apology for her rudeness.

Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm in no way saying you would encourage your child to make comments. I'm just saying how I personally would handle that situation to where my daughter learned a very important lesson and the little boy hopefully would be understanding enough to accept the apology and not let what really is an innocent comment from another young child ruin his day.

This is almost exactly how I handled it when my daughter saw her first really black child. She was four and said, "I don't like that girl, she's ugly."

And you bet I got right on her case about that! She got a whole (age appropriate) lecture on, "We don't judge people's beauty by their skin colour!"

Of course, part of the problem I realized later was that she had a workbook from Singapore that was teaching comparisons (and shapes and other things). And on one page were princesses. The "pretty" princess had black hair and dark skin. The "prettier" princess had brown hair and medium skin. And the "prettiest" princess had golden hair and white skin. Oy! It was too late to burn the book, but we had several chats over the next couple years about why this page was very, very wrong.

Parents are their children's first teachers. If we want to defeat prejudice and bigotry and bullying, it's got to start with us.

 

[WheelCEO]

60 minutes; what would you do?

 

[mariamouse]

Parents are their children's first teachers. If we want to defeat prejudice and bigotry and bullying, it's got to start with us.

OP- I hope that you will let your son do whatever he pleases (as long as he is aware of the potential consequences). Who cares what other guests think? He is your child and deserves your acceptance and love.

 

[kate_wdw]

Post deleted

 

[kate_wdw]

OK, I've been holding myself back all afternoon, but I completely disagree with this. It is a completely normal developmental stage to be interested in dressing up with no thought about gender at 4. This in no way means that the OP needs to "prepare" herself to accept "his ways" any more than any mother needs to prepare herself to accept the ways of their children with unconditional love.

Actually, there is evidence to suggest that boys who are consistently gender nonconforming are more likely to grow up to be gay. I am not saying that the OP's son is going to grow up to be gay. I'm pointing this out because there seems to be (in many posts on this thread) an implied hope that this is a phase that boys will/should outgrow. For some, it is a passing phase. For many others, it isn't, which (IMO) is all the more reason to handle this issue carefully and consider the sort of message you're sending to a kid about how you'll react if he doesn't conform to societal expectations regarding gender roles.

ETA: To be clear, I'm using "you" here in the general sense. My comments are not directed at you personally, TwinMom.

 

[saxman]

As a dad, I would not let my son dress up like a girl any time (at home or at WDW) Not because I'm intolerant of others, but because I believe it is wrong. You will see intolerant people reply to this when I base it on the fact that I'm a Christian. Why is it that Christian opinions always draw hateful comments from people who talk of being tolerant?

Everyone is entitled to live their life as they choose and I'm not going to tell the OP not to let their son to dress up like Cinderella. I'm just saying I wouldn't let my son do it.

 

[nytimez]

As a dad, I would not let my son dress up like a girl any time (at home or at WDW) Not because I'm intolerant of others, but because I believe it is wrong. You will see intolerant people reply to this when I base it on the fact that I'm a Christian. Why is it that Christian opinions always draw hateful comments from people who talk of being tolerant?

Everyone is entitled to live their life as they choose and I'm not going to tell the OP not to let their son to dress up like Cinderella. I'm just saying I wouldn't let my son do it.

How weird and random. Why are you trying to turn what has been a mostly civil and interesting debate into a commentary on your religion?

No one here has said a thing against your religion and yet you're already accusing people who you disagree with of hate.

 

[Belle599]

If he's thinking that he wants to be BBBed as Cinderella, please make sure that you choose the BBB location in the castle (as opposed to DTD). Since it is Cinderella's castle and all.

Have a magical trip.

 

[Dr. M]

As a dad, I would not let my son dress up like a girl any time (at home or at WDW) Not because I'm intolerant of others, but because I believe it is wrong. You will see intolerant people reply to this when I base it on the fact that I'm a Christian. Why is it that Christian opinions always draw hateful comments from people who talk of being tolerant?

Everyone is entitled to live their life as they choose and I'm not going to tell the OP not to let their son to dress up like Cinderella. I'm just saying I wouldn't let my son do it.

How weird and random. Why are you trying to turn what has been a mostly civil and interesting debate into a commentary on your religion?

No one here has said a thing against your religion and yet you're already accusing people who you disagree with of hate.

saxman's post is not weird or random. The OP asked for opinions and Saxman stated that cross-dressing is against his Christian beliefs. The fact that you consider any mention of Christianity weird and random, IS intolerant.

 

[nytimez]

saxman's post is not weird or random. The OP asked for opinions and Saxman stated that cross-dressing is against his Christian beliefs. The fact that you consider any mention of Christianity weird and random, IS intolerant.

A little sensitive, are we? Perhaps you should read my post again, because you are putting words into my post that aren't there, a practice that is rather unseemly and also an incredibly disingenuous way to debate.

Nowhere did I say that "any" mention of Christianity is weird and random. Nowhere.

It IS, however, weird and random to post that people are being hateful towards Christian opinions when no one even mentioned religion of any kind.

 

[tarrbear]

You know, there is such a double standard in this world when it comes to this thing. For the past two Halloweens, I, a girl dressed up as male characters, in 2009 I was the Joker, in 2010 I was Dexter Morgan and this year I might be The Doctor from Doctor Who. Nobody thinks its weird or odd that I dress as male characters, but the moment my male friend was Lady Gaga for Halloween, well, lets just say people weren't as receptive of it as they would to a female dressing up as a male.

If your son's heart is set on being Cinderella than go for it, I think its time to start breaking down these double standards, it wouldn't hurt to explain to him that people might give him funny looks though. Let the kid explore and be himself. : )

This is slightly off topic, do you remember the show According to Jim? I remember a episode where the little son wanted to dress up as Cinderella for Halloween.

 

[saxman]

saxman's post is not weird or random. The OP asked for opinions and Saxman stated that cross-dressing is against his Christian beliefs. The fact that you consider any mention of Christianity weird and random, IS intolerant.

A little sensitive, are we? Perhaps you should read my post again, because you are putting words into my post that aren't there, a practice that is rather unseemly and also an incredibly disingenuous way to debate.

Nowhere did I say that "any" mention of Christianity is weird and random. Nowhere.

It IS, however, weird and random to post that people are being hateful towards Christian opinions when no one even mentioned religion of any kind.

I gave my opinion and then gave the reason why I feel this way. If you are not a Christian poster you wouldn't understand why I mentioned the hatred from "tolerant" people. I know from past experience that when a poster uses Christianity or the Bible as reasons for opinions, that there is usually hate from non-christians that follows.

 

[kirasaurus]

This. If you think your son would understand if you told him "Some people think that boys shouldn't dress up like Princesses, so they might be surprised to see you, but you can wear whatever you want because you get to choose what you want to wear", I'd tell him something like that.

Might he regret it someday? Perhaps. He might also remember that mom and dad didn't tell him he couldn't be who he wanted to be when he was young, too, and that his parents supported him.

Who knows? If it bothers him down the road, you put away the pictures of him in the dress and go on with life.

I'm in full support of this statement.

 

[nerdboyrockstar]

I'm trying to find in my Bible the passage where it says it's wrong for a boy to dress as a female character (at WDW, for Halloween, or whatever reason). Help me out here.

 

[kerplop]

I'm trying to find in my Bible the passage where it says it's wrong for a boy to dress as a female character (at WDW, for Halloween, or whatever reason). Help me out here.

You won't find it. And keep in mind that in ancient civilizations when they put on dramatic performances the majority of roles, male and female, were played by men and boys.

 

[Dr. M]

I gave my opinion and then gave the reason why I feel this way. If you are not a Christian poster you wouldn't understand why I mentioned the hatred from "tolerant" people. I know from past experience that when a poster uses Christianity or the Bible as reasons for opinions, that there is usually hate from non-christians that follows.

I can testify to that.

I'm trying to find in my Bible the passage where it says it's wrong for a boy to dress as a female character (at WDW, for Halloween, or whatever reason). Help me out here.

I'll pm you the verse. If this post turns into a religious debate, the moderators will swiftly shut it down and hand out demerits (or whatever they are called)

 

[saxman]

I'm trying to find in my Bible the passage where it says it's wrong for a boy to dress as a female character (at WDW, for Halloween, or whatever reason). Help me out here.

Really, if you can't find it, let me help.

Now to begin, I Corinthians 6:9-11 speaks of "effeminate" and how they will not inherit the Kingdom of God. Now I've gotten this definition from Wikipedia but feel free to look around elsewhere: "Effeminacy describes traits in a human male that are more often associated with stereotypically feminine nature, behavior, mannerisms, style or gender roles rather than masculine nature, behavior, mannerisms, style or roles."

I have more references if you need them.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I gave my opinion and then gave the reason why I feel this way. If you are not a Christian poster you wouldn't understand why I mentioned the hatred from "tolerant" people. I know from past experience that when a poster uses Christianity or the Bible as reasons for opinions, that there is usually hate from non-christians that follows.

I'm a Christian poster, quite proud to be one, and I've never felt any hatred due to my faith except from one poster who is no longer on this board.

 

[saxman]

I'm a Christian poster, quite proud to be one, and I've never felt any hatred due to my faith except from one poster who is no longer on this board.

I haven't on this board either, I think the mods do a great job here. However, that hasn't been the case on other boards.

 

[chrisisbuckwild]

Do as he pleases, he might change his mind last minute, dont have too much set in stone, just let it happen. There is a chance our son might be gay or having gender issues and he might just be a loving little boy. If this is the case, being accepting and loving will help in the future. if thats not the case, hes 4, he wanted to be a princess, so what?