Is it weird my son wants to do BBB as a princess?

[Stoner]

Do not let him do this! Children want to do many things. As a parent it is your responsibility to teach them what is acceptable. By allowing him to get a girlie makeover you make boys dressing as girls acceptable in his developing mind. During the early years you are shaping his mindset on what is okay and not okay. Children want to eat junk food and keep all their toys to themselves, as parents we teach them to eat a balanced diet and to get along with others and share. If he wants to do something that goes against societal norms it is your job to take that opportunity to teach him what is acceptable and what is not. Boys dressing as girls is not okay and not accepted by society, he will have a much easier time learning this at 3 than if you shape his mind to believe it's okay and then he finds out the hard way when he's 7.

Example of intolerance for those who were wondering.

 

[goofy4tink]

I don't think this is fair. I think if you compare the US to Europe, sure, you may have a point. But if you compare it to much of the rest of the world, I happen to think this country is pretty darn tolerant. And I'm pretty darn proud of that.



Along a similar line of thought, I don't understand the assertion that "modern society" does this. As opposed to societies in the past? Surely over time we are moving in the direction of tolerance, no?

Sorry, but I find this country to be pretty intolerant of any behaviour that doesn't fit the 'norm'. Now, here in NE, just about everything fits the norm, but there are many other areas of this country that are much less tolerant.

Here's my thought....you take your Cinderella garbed 4 y/o ds out in the MK....some adults are going to say...'Oh my...how cute is she!!!' and then be mortified to find it's a boy. Or, the 10 y/o boy who has learned at his father's hip that anything other than 'real' manly behavour is not acceptable, who passes by your ds and hands out an entirely nasty comment...no, I am not going to give any examples here...way too out there, not to mention hurtful. But I think you can all imagine what those comments would be.
I guess many don't agree...and that's okay. This is America and we don't shoot those who don't agree with us. So, basically, do whatever you and your child are comfortable with. It's a personal decision..one that shouldn't be made by strangers on an internet discussion board.

 

[mesaboy2]

Example of intolerance for those who were wondering.

Tolerance includes tolerance of the intolerant. Otherwise, it is hypocrisy.

 

[mesaboy2]

Sorry, but I find this country to be pretty intolerant of any behaviour that doesn't fit the 'norm'. Now, here in NE, just about everything fits the norm, but there are many other areas of this country that are much less tolerant.

Here's my thought....you take your Cinderella garbed 4 y/o ds out in the MK....some adults are going to say...'Oh my...how cute is she!!!' and then be mortified to find it's a boy. Or, the 10 y/o boy who has learned at his father's hip that anything other than 'real' manly behavour is not acceptable, who passes by your ds and hands out an entirely nasty comment...no, I am not going to give any examples here...way too out there, not to mention hurtful. But I think you can all imagine what those comments would be.
I guess many don't agree...and that's okay. This is America and we don't shoot those who don't agree with us. So, basically, do whatever you and your child are comfortable with. It's a personal decision..one that shouldn't be made by strangers on an internet discussion board.

Which is precisely my point. There are many places in the world where this is not true.

I completely agree it's okay to disagree.

 

[disneegrl4eva]

wow this is such a hard one for me...all of the posters have given really great responses but I would be so torn if I were you..I have a 4yo grandson and his sister is 8...when he was 1 and 2 yo he did dress up in his sisters costumes and we have some really cute pics of him..he would also walk around in high heeled shoes...it was so funny...but now if I say do you want to wear pink or put on his sisters stuff he just looks at me with a crazy face and says NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo.....and if he did want to like your son I dont know that I would be ok with it, mainly because my biggest fear would be people teasing him or giving him stares...he might not notice it but I would and then i would black out because I would get so angry......good luck with whatever you decide to do

 

[lshaw]

Well since you asked..... Here's another vote for the "intolerant".....DEFINATELY WIERD.

 

[Camno's Mama]

If you and your family are comfortable with it, then do it. No one else matters, really. Disney is filled with strangers. It doesn't matter what they think, and most likely, no one would have the guts to say anything.

And as for staring...well, my six-year-old did something really weird with his hair on the way to school the other day. I thought it looked funny, but he was so proud. He told me after school that everyone loved it. I asked him what they said. He told me that they didn't say anything, but that they all stared at him and he could tell how much they all loved it.

We put way more meaning behind things than kids do. Disney is about imagination. He's just using his. Let him do it!

 

[Magpie]

Along a similar line of thought, I don't understand the assertion that "modern society" does this. As opposed to societies in the past? Surely over time we are moving in the direction of tolerance, no?

If you go back a hundred fifty years. There wasn't the same kind of panic over, "you can't put a boy in a dress, it'll make him gay!"

Historically, young boys wore dresses from simple practicality - makes toilet training easier, takes longer to outgrow, etc... "Breeching" was a right of passage, from non-gendered child to man. Then there was a general sentimentalization of children in the 19th century that meant that boys and girls not only were dressed the same, but also had the same hair cuts, and by and large were referred to as "infants" until they were about six.

This is a picture of a young lad in Boston, 1755-1760. That may be his younger sister with him... or it could be his younger brother. No one knows for sure.

I think, as we've become more tolerant of differences in adult sexuality, we've also become more paranoid about our children. We plaster sports decals all over our boys' clothes and call them "tough". We dress up our baby girls in fluff and teach them to parade across stages to be judged on their femininity. We worry about our sons being teased, if we buy them a play kitchen, or let their hair grow too long. We teach our children "pink is for girls", forgetting that prior to World War I, pink was for boys.

We've taken many steps forward, but we've also take several back.

 

[Jey12]

Well since you asked..... Here's another vote for the "intolerant".....DEFINATELY WIERD.

So my daughter must be weird too? She likes to wear a Thomas the Train shirt we bought in the boys section and dressed up as scooby doo last halloween. Her favorite Disney movie is Cars and loves Lightening McQueen. She also enjoys being a princess and wearing dresses. My weird little kid is great, because usually the only comments made to her are how pretty she is, of course I encourage people to tell her how kind and smart she is too. I do this because as a parent I don't want the only attention she gets to be based on her appearance. All of this weirdness has made her one of the most confident little 5 year olds I know. I can't see where a little boy being happy and having pride in his choices is strange.

It's not like he's wanting to wear a Cinderella dress to church, the mall or school. I wouldn't let my son wear a princess dress to those places either, for the same reasons I wouldn't let my daughter. They are not appropriate places to dress like a princess.

If we ever have a boy and take him to Disney I'll be sure to dress him in green camo so he's gender appropriate. Oh wait little girls like to wear that stuff too. Guess we should all just go naked so no one is offended by our clothing choice at a place that encourages children to explore their imaginations.

 

[KellyNY]

At this age it is totally normal for kids to explore role playing even if it is outside of their gender, so while it may seem weird, it is not abnormal. However, I do not think that you want him to hear comments and experience looks and there will be a lot.

 

[Day-Day]

I would not let my son do this. "Too bad, so sad--you don't get to do everything you want to do." Our job as parents is to guide our children and let them know when they are making the wrong choice; this is a 4-year-old.

This kid's not wierd though. When I was that age, I told my sister I wanted to marry a boy (I'm male). My thoughts were not sexual, just that I saw my parents as people doing things together, hanging out, hunting & fishing together, etc. and thought that it would be better to do this with a boy than a yucky girl.

 

[Magpie]

Tolerance includes tolerance of the intolerant. Otherwise, it is hypocrisy.

I've heard this before, but it doesn't quite work for me. Because that would mean that while I'm tolerating Jews and being cool with them having their own religion, I would also have to tolerate Nazis, and be cool with their point of view, too.

I think it's perfectly all right to be intolerant of bigotry. There are some things that, as a tolerant, peaceful, person, you just can't tolerate.

 

[nytimez]

I completely agree it's okay to disagree.

I disagree!

Also, forget the whole cross-dressing thing. There's a kid with a squirrel in chains on his arm in one of the posts above mine. Now THAT'S weird.

 

[Hannahsmom]

Live and let live, man, live and let live. As long as his attire fits in the confines of legality, who cares. If this is important to him, and you can afford BBB, let him indulge. I personally wouldn't even notice but then, I don't get my panties in a twist about people re-using resort mugs, ECV use or how old your kid in the stroller is.

 

[Anjelica]

Since you asked - I don't find it odd that your young son would want to dress as a princess. What I would find odd is if you let your son do so.

 

[nytimez]

Man, I can't look away from that picture. What's with the girl and the dagger? Is she about to kill her brother? Or the squirrel? Do they even know she's there?

So many questions...

 

[Phatoomch]

How many of us went 'against our gender' when we were children? I played with cars ALL the time (I'm a girlie) and when we played 'mommies & daddies' a girl was always the daddy because the boys didn't want to play that game, they wanted to play star wars (70's style). Has it affected me? Did I want to grow up and marry a girl-daddy and drive cars for a living?

My aunt dressed her son as a girl for the first 2 years (before anyone would notice outside family and friends that the baby was actually a boy) and he wasn't affected by it - he just rolls his eyes when he sees the photos.

Dressing as your opposite gender at such a young age does not suggest to the child that it is 'normal' to do this and therefore impact the way they grow. Jumping off a couch trying so hard to fly is normal at that age.

And then as we grow and our hormones start to 'talk' to us, we know exactly which side of the fence we want to sit on.

 

[lshaw]

So my daughter must be weird too? She likes to wear a Thomas the Train shirt we bought in the boys section and dressed up as scooby doo last halloween. Her favorite Disney movie is Cars and loves Lightening McQueen. She also enjoys being a princess and wearing dresses. My weird little kid is great, because usually the only comments made to her are how pretty she is, of course I encourage people to tell her how kind and smart she is too. I do this because as a parent I don't want the only attention she gets to be based on her appearance. All of this weirdness has made her one of the most confident little 5 year olds I know. I can't see where a little boy being happy and having pride in his choices is strange.

It's not like he's wanting to wear a Cinderella dress to church, the mall or school. I wouldn't let my son wear a princess dress to those places either, for the same reasons I wouldn't let my daughter. They are not appropriate places to dress like a princess.

If we ever have a boy and take him to Disney I'll be sure to dress him in green camo so he's gender appropriate. Oh wait little girls like to wear that stuff too. Guess we should all just go naked so no one is offended by our clothing choice at a place that encourages children to explore their imaginations.

Hey- If you don't like MY OPINION, then MOVE ON to the next one until you find one that you DO like. I subscribe to the DIS boards as well as you do, and since the question was asked by the OP, I responded with MY PERSONAL OPINION.

 

[Magpie]

Man, I can't look away from that picture. What's with the girl and the dagger? Is she about to kill her brother? Or the squirrel? Do they even know she's there?

So many questions...

I think it might be the dagger that has folks questioning whether she's a girl at all...

Hey- If you don't like MY OPINION, then MOVE ON to the next one until you find one that you DO like. I subscribe to the DIS boards as well as you do, and since the question was asked by the OP, I responded with MY PERSONAL OPINION.

I'm not convinced by the "" tacked onto the end here.

Something about this post just doesn't feel "" to me.

*checks over shoulder to make sure there isn't a kid in a dress holding a dagger standing behind me*

 

[Jacie]

I won't spend the money for BBB on my daughter, and definitely not on my son. (I'm cheap!)
I would personally try to find something else to spark his interest. If he is just bored and trying new stuff, there are other things rather than Pirates League, like other PP's have mentioned.
My husband on the other hand, would NEVER allow it. I can't even buy a package of sippy cups that has a blue one and a pink one.