Is it weird my son wants to do BBB as a princess?

[mGreeneLantern]

I don't think I'd be able to tell the difference (gender-wise) between a four-year-old girl dressed as Cinderella and a four-year-old boy dressed as Cinderella. Unless that little guy was rockin' a mohawk or something. But that would be awesome too.
Let the little guy do what he wants, as long as its safe and you're comfortable with it. Heck, everyone wore dresses before the barbarians invented pants.

 

[disneymom1229]

Maybe it's just me, but I usually see kids dressed up and think how cute and keep going. I am more focused on my own kids, interacting with them and watching their reactions. I think people in the parks are moving so fast that they may not even realize that he is a boy. I say let him enjoy this stage. Like a pp, said by the time your vacation is here, he may want something different.

 

[MartDM]

Most kids that age have the cute baby faces that could belong to either a girl or boy.

I was thinking the same thing. I always see lots of little princesses wandering by or in the periphery, and I simply think "Oh! Cute!" without really looking at them in detail. I probably wouldn't even notice a boy vs. a girl.

I think if *you* are prepared for any potential ignoramuses out there & are ready to steer your son away at the first sign of a rude remark, I think you'll be fine. Let him do what makes him happy!

 

[FireDancer]

I think it is a bit odd, not in a "wrong" way but if I saw a little boy walking around in a princess dress at Disney I'd notice and think to myself "huh, that's kind of weird but whatever".

Keep in mind that while he might be too young to care now those pictures will be around forever (especially if you make the mistake of posting them online) and at some point down the road he might regret doing it if the pictures make it out.

 

[Dr. M]

I don't think it's weird that a child of that age wants to dress in a girl's costume. However, what I do think is odd is the number of adults who think it's ok to allow a child to do whatever makes him feel good in public. There is a proper way to dress and behave in public, and it's my job as a parent to teach my children proper manners, etiquette, dress and conduct. My children are not allowed to do whatever makes them feel good in public. They understand that they are expected to be polite (even when they don't feel like it) to dress with modesty (even when my 14 year old wants to expose her midrif) to not stare at people, to not play in public fountains in their underwear (even though it would just plain feel good)

With that being said, the rules are different in the privacy of our home. My youngest son, when he was 3, loved his big sisters' costumes so much that he loved dressing up at home in their costumes, carry their purses and wear their high heels. He is a beautiful child, and at 3, he had chin length curly hair that his sisters often teased into a pony-tail. We loved playing dress up and his dad and I took many pictures of him all "girlified".

Now, if my son at that age wanted to dress up that way in public, (which he never did) I would impart some wisdom and explain that there is a proper way to dress and behave in public. Though I would not judge a child who is inappropriately dressed, I would not be able to help myself but to think that the child's parent is a little "different". If that makes me narrow-minded, then so be it.

 

[Oomiak]

I don't think it's weird that a child of that age wants to dress in a girl's costume. However, what I do think is odd is the number of adults who think it's ok to allow a child to do whatever makes him feel good in public. There is a proper way to dress and behave in public, and it's my job as a parent to teach my children proper manners, etiquette, dress and conduct. My children are not allowed to do whatever makes them feel good in public. They understand that they are expected to be polite (even when they don't feel like it) to dress with modesty (even when my 14 year old wants to expose her midrif) to not stare at people, to not play in public fountains in their underwear (even though it would just plain feel good)

With that being said, the rules are different in the privacy of our home. My youngest son, when he was 3, loved his big sisters' costumes so much that he loved dressing up at home in their costumes, carry their purses and wear their high heels. He is a beautiful child, and at 3, he had chin length curly hair that his sisters often teased into a pony-tail. We loved playing dress up and his dad and I took many pictures of him all "girlified".

Now, if my son at that age wanted to dress up that way in public, (which he never did) I would impart some wisdom and explain that there is a proper way to dress and behave in public. Though I would not judge a child who is inappropriately dressed, I would not be able to help myself but to think that the child's parent is a little "different". If that makes me narrow-minded, then so be it.

You hit the nail on the head and expressed my thoughts better than I could myself. If those standards make you narrow-minded, then I guess I am too.

 

[Dr. M]

You hit the nail on the head and expressed my thoughts better than I could myself. If those standards make you narrow-minded, then I guess I am too.

Yeah, and proud of it

 

[Eeyore98]

Though I would not judge a child who is inappropriately dressed, I would not be able to help myself but to think that the child's parent is a little "different". If that makes me narrow-minded, then so be it.

And the judgement that a princess dress is "inappropriate" for a boy is no different than a mid-century judgement that pants were "inappropriate" for a little girl. Times change, and this is the start of it. It is not bad manners or bad etiquette.

 

[Dr. M]

And the judgement that a princess dress is "inappropriate" for a boy is no different than a mid-century judgement that pants were "inappropriate" for a little girl. Times change, and this is the start of it. It is not bad manners or bad etiquette.

And If i lived in times when pants were unacceptable for my girls, than you can bet that I would not allow them to be seen in public in them. There is a certain decorum that we adhere to. It has been my experience that those who subscribe to this philosophy get far in life. Your experience may be different and that's ok for you.

 

[Rip]

And the judgement that a princess dress is "inappropriate" for a boy is no different than a mid-century judgement that pants were "inappropriate" for a little girl. Times change, and this is the start of it. It is not bad manners or bad etiquette.

Sorry, but wearing britches does not equal getting made up as a princess.

To the OP - not weird that your little guy wants to do this at all. However, he absolutely will be assumed to be a girl and would be made fun of in the unlikely event that some other kid that knew him saw him (most kids won't make fun of random strangers per se, they will just assume he's a girl).

At that age, my son had very long, beautiful hair. He got so tired of being called a princess at Disney that he finally blurted out "I'm not a effing princess, I'm a prince" at a CM. I substituted what he really said - and other than his long hair, there was and is nothing that looks girlish on him.

Personally, I'd recommend against it, but you're the only one that can ultimately make that call.

 

[Phatoomch]

I would say Disney would be the place to do it! I'd do it there before I would do it at my local Six Flags or grocery store.

Firstly, many may not look long enough to see its a boy, secondly, most people at Disney are parents and totally understand that at that age kids are 'gender-less', and thirdly its DISNEY - one thing we notice about the place is that everyone is much happier than in the real world. I would be surprised if anyone made a comment and if they did I think you would hear it rather than your son unless they actually went up to him and said it which I think the chances are slim.

This is what will make your son happy. Lets put this into perspective it the adults that make issues of things whilst the little ones are totally unaware, living in their own neverland, not having to worry about whether its 'right' to wear a dress or not .... one day neverland disappears, lets not make it disappear any sooner than we have to!

 

[Phatoomch]

However, what I do think is odd is the number of adults who think it's ok to allow a child to do whatever makes him feel good in public. There is a proper way to dress and behave in public, and it's my job as a parent to teach my children proper manners, etiquette, dress and conduct. My children are not allowed to do whatever makes them feel good in public. They understand that they are expected to be polite (even when they don't feel like it) to dress with modesty (even when my 14 year old wants to expose her midrif) to not stare at people, to not play in public fountains in their underwear (even though it would just plain feel good)

Absolutely - my daughter has been raised to act and dress appropriately in public. She has to understand that to make it in life, there is a code of conduct which she may not always agree with.

BUT come on! This is Disney, a magical place where we can forget about the every day grind. The empire is built around 'dressing up' full of characters in costume and Disneys big message to todays kids is to embrace who you are. Its not like the OP is asking if its ok for him to dress like that all the time, just for one day.

 

[JeanfromBNA]

And If i lived in times when pants were unacceptable for my girls, than you can bet that I would not allow them to be seen in public in them. There is a certain decorum that we adhere to. It has been my experience that those who subscribe to this philosophy get far in life. Your experience may be different and that's ok for you.

I support your insistence on proper attire, but WDW is a place where grown-ups proudly wear mouse-ears in the spirit of joy in the most magical place on earth.

My Goddaughter spent an entire year (seemed like it) when she was two years old wearing Spiderman pajamas and underpants. Nobody attributed anything untoward to it. I think this is similar. As long as he is dressed appropriately, don't start nothing, and there won't be nothing.

As for BBB, if you're nervous, just don't spend the money. It's expensive enough as it is. Let him get autographs from all of the princesses that he wants.

 

[Glencora]

And If i lived in times when pants were unacceptable for my girls, than you can bet that I would not allow them to be seen in public in them. There is a certain decorum that we adhere to. It has been my experience that those who subscribe to this philosophy get far in life. Your experience may be different and that's ok for you.

The problem being, of course, that if no one had allowed their daughters to wear pants, it wouldn't be considered normal now. Somebody has to lead the parade - why not a four year old kid inn a Cinderella costume?

 

[Dr. M]

The problem being, of course, that if no one had allowed their daughters to wear pants, it wouldn't be considered normal now. Somebody has to lead the parade - why not a four year old kid inn a Cinderella costume?

so by your logic, you would like a future where our guys wear flowing, flouncy, lacy, satin, froufrou dresses as a norm? NO Thank you.

 

[stargazertechie]

It wasn't kids I was thinking of, I was thinking about the parents, as sillyoldbear referenced in her subsequent post.

It made me think of a mom blog I read a while ago where the bloggers 5 yr old son dressed as a girls for a school Halloween party and the parents had more issue with it than the other kids.

I was actually just looking for that blog article. One of the best ever written on the subject.

OP- I don't think it's weird at all. Let him go for it- if he wants to be Cinderella for a day, let him be Cinderella for a day!

 

[stargazertechie]

There is a proper way to dress and behave in public, and it's my job as a parent to teach my children proper manners, etiquette, dress and conduct. My children are not allowed to do whatever makes them feel good in public.

Now, if my son at that age wanted to dress up that way in public, (which he never did) I would impart some wisdom and explain that there is a proper way to dress and behave in public. Though I would not judge a child who is inappropriately dressed, I would not be able to help myself but to think that the child's parent is a little "different". If that makes me narrow-minded, then so be it.

So by your standards then, girls should not get a pirate makeover, because pirate=boy, right?

Yes, your views ARE narrow-minded. You are entitled to them, and of course you are entitled to raise your child however you wish.

I plan on raising children who are open and accepting of ALL people, not just the ones who they think are "dressed properly". Who are you to judge someone by their outward appearance? The kid wouldn't be naked, there's nothing "wrong" with wearing it.

And If i lived in times when pants were unacceptable for my girls, than you can bet that I would not allow them to be seen in public in them. There is a certain decorum that we adhere to. It has been my experience that those who subscribe to this philosophy get far in life. Your experience may be different and that's ok for you.

Tell that to Rosa Parks. Some of the most influential people in the WORLD are the ones who dared to buck the rules and live life to the beat of their own drum.

so by your logic, you would like a future where our guys wear flowing, flouncy, lacy, satin, froufrou dresses as a norm? NO Thank you.

Real men don't wear pants

 

[Tistal]

Unfortunately, adults are the ones that usually impose gender roles on children. (for the record I do not have children, just tossing that out there, so if you want to discredit my opinion, I understand.) However, it would make the teacher in me very proud to see a little boy and his parent(s) encouraging him to explore the world and his individuality. I would hate to see someone ruin the spark of innocence that your little one has, but I know the probability is high, and that makes me shake my head at the way things are.

This goes along the same lines of the Tide commercial that came out recently; my stomach rolled in disgust watching it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9LTRbWsGOI). Why can't we (society) just let kids be kids? Why do we (again, collective we) have to jam children who have no stereotyped gendered concepts into perfect little "boy" and "girl" boxes?

 

[disneyygirrl]

So, my 4 year old wants to do BBB and dress up as Cinderella. I have offered Prince Charming or another character costume but he keeps saying he wants to be Cinderella. He has done the Pirate League 2x this past year and doesn't want to do it again. Has anyone else had this experience with their little boys? I am an open minded mom and would possibly let him but I don't want him to be made fun of. I know, I would be taking my chances-lol. Help!

I think if your son is comfortable enough to ask you to let him dress up as Cinderella, then you should definitely let him! Trying to offer him other choices is okay, but since he's not wanting that, I'd not only let him dress as Cinderella, but I'd support is as well, so he knows that his Mom is okay with his decision! Sure there may be a few people who stare, but just let your son know they are staring because he looks so good! My youngest brother used to like to dress up in girly clothes as well. He's 19 now and completely well adjusted. Best of luck and I hope you and your son have a great trip.

 

[Jey12]

I don't think it's weird that a child of that age wants to dress in a girl's costume. However, what I do think is odd is the number of adults who think it's ok to allow a child to do whatever makes him feel good in public. There is a proper way to dress and behave in public, and it's my job as a parent to teach my children proper manners, etiquette, dress and conduct. My children are not allowed to do whatever makes them feel good in public. They understand that they are expected to be polite (even when they don't feel like it) to dress with modesty (even when my 14 year old wants to expose her midrif) to not stare at people, to not play in public fountains in their underwear (even though it would just plain feel good)

With that being said, the rules are different in the privacy of our home. My youngest son, when he was 3, loved his big sisters' costumes so much that he loved dressing up at home in their costumes, carry their purses and wear their high heels. He is a beautiful child, and at 3, he had chin length curly hair that his sisters often teased into a pony-tail. We loved playing dress up and his dad and I took many pictures of him all "girlified".

Now, if my son at that age wanted to dress up that way in public, (which he never did) I would impart some wisdom and explain that there is a proper way to dress and behave in public. Though I would not judge a child who is inappropriately dressed, I would not be able to help myself but to think that the child's parent is a little "different". If that makes me narrow-minded, then so be it.

I have to respectfully disagree here. Exactly how is wearing a princess dress at Disney World not appropriate? I do not agree that this is going to lead to men wearing frilly princess dresses everywhere they go. How many grown women do you know that continue to dress in the same attire they did at the age of 4? Would you let a girl take part in Jedi training or the Pirate league? If a parent was to let their daughters do these "boy" activities and not let their boys pretend (and the important word here is pretend) to be a princess I would be more concerned about the message they were sending to their sons. You are entitled to your opinion and I respect that and I'm glad you stick to your morals and beliefs. I just personally do not agree with them. Would I take my son dressed up like a princess to a football game? No. Would I let him be a princess at Disney? You bet! Kind of the same line of thinking here. There's a place and time for everything, if Disney is not the place to be a beautiful, or handsome princess where is?


To the OP. You know your child, you know what your family is comfortable with. Go with your instinct. There's nothing weird about this, and is a perfectly normal stage of development for his age group. IMO telling a 4 year old that it's ok to dress as a princess behind closed doors only is sending the wrong message. To me it says yes I know this makes you happy but we need to keep it a secret, and you are hinting that exploring new things is something to be ashamed of. A 4 year old doesn't understand gender rolls and once he sees other kids ( he won't notice the boy/girl difference) that are dressed as a princess he's going to be very confused as why this is wrong for him. I wouldn't even prepare him ahead of time for comments, because to me you are still telling him this is wrong if you explain how some people might react. I'd just simply explain to him if someone does comment, loud enough for that person to hear, how you respect him for what he wants and what a shame it is that other people have to be so rude. Then we would go on about what we are doing, ignoring the person that felt the need to let their ignorance go for a walk without a leash. I think you'll find that like most adults when it involves the imagination of kids we just think too much about a situation. Kids don't. It's Disney, where you're supposed to think like a child.

If you want to pay for BBB go for it. I'm taking my DD5 to the barber shop next month simply because I'm too cheap for BBB.