Is it rude to ask people to remove their.....

[KathyTX]

Originally posted by Minnesota!
Wow. I can't imagine being upset about someone taking their shoes off.

I don't think anyone was *upset* about someone taking their shoes off.

Heck, I don't care if you take your shoes off. I might find you a bit odd, but I certainly won't be upset.

But if I'm your guest and you *tell* me to take my shoes off? Pretty rude and uncomfortable.

You really find shoes uncomfortable? Are you sure they fit correctly?

And, sorry, but you're not dressed formally if you're running around in your pantyhose and no shoes.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

As a few others wrote, I wear orthodics and I'm very uncomfortable without them. I take off my shoes at bedtime and put them on first thing in the AM. I would NOT be happy if asked to remove them at someone's house.

I also have a paranoia about foot injury. Nuts? Probably!!

 

[tkyes]

I can't believe this thread is still going on haven't we covered everything here? No one is going to change anyone's minds about the issue.

Apparently in some parts of the country (from the threads, mostly the cold weather regions) we take our shoes off when we enter our homes and other peoples homes. We are comfortable with that and that is what works for us. We consider it a common courtesy.

In some parts of the country it is considered rude and inproper to remove your shoes in other peoples homes and many don't remove their shoes in their own homes. The idea of removing your shoes is considered far to intimate and personal.


Does that cover it? Thanks for the learning experience. Now I'll know what to do if I ever head to a friends house outside of Minnesota or Wisconsin.

 

[MickeysMommy]

In a word...yes.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Like DISshopkeeper, my DD (13) wears orthotics (to the tune of $400 or so), and was told by her podiatrist to put shoes on when she gets up in the morning, and leave them on until she goes to bed. He also wasn't too happy about her walking to and from the pool without them last summer.

A question for the socks in the house people...aren't socks slippery on non-carpetted floors? I'm forever telling my kids to put their shoes or slippers ON because they go slipping around corners, and HAVE fallen over the years, or stubbed their toes on something.

We also have a dog, (GSD) who sheds...I could follow him around all day with a vacuum and not get it all...and hair ends up collecting on the kids' socks, so when they do put their shoes on, or put their feet on their beds or other furniture, there's dog hair all over...yech. The thought of sending kids/other guests home with dog hair on their socks is gross.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Tykes, if you ever visit me here in Florida you can take your shoes off. No problem!

Part of my house is ceramic tile, so when I am spending a long time in the kitchen I will wear my indoor shoes. Yes I have a special pair of shoes (sandals) just for the house.

 

[gina2000]

We take our shoes off in our own home and I'll take them off if I enter a home and have muddy, wet shoes. Voluntarily.

The kids take them off because their shoes are always muddy. They just follow my son's lead. I don't ask them to.

I don't ask adults to take them off, though. I figure they know if they have mud on their feet and how comfortable they feel leaving their shoes on. I personally would be more embarrassed to trek mud throughout someone's home than I would be to take my shoes off. I have hardwood floors so cleanup is no biggie to me. Whatever makes my guest comfortable is fine by me.

 

[poohandwendy]

What I think is so odd is dictating what guests wear in your home. I don't think it is strange or unreasonable that some people are more comfortable in shoes or more comfortable without shoes...personal prefrence...BUT, why wouldn't people want their guests to be comfortable, whichever way that would be? I would be uncomfortable asking a guest to give up comfort to please me.

 

[charabby]

Originally posted by tkyes
I can't believe this thread is still going on haven't we covered everything here? No one is going to change anyone's minds about the issue.

I'm not sure why you would post this. If you aren't interested, why are you reading this thread and posting to it?

Sorry, just happens to be a pet peeve of mine. If *you* are no longer interested in a topic, it doesn't mean that others aren't.

 

[tkyes]

My post didn't say that I wasn't interested in the topic, just surprised that it was still going on.

 

[AirForceRocks]

I agree that it must be a regional thing. I guess what surprises me is how many people are saying that they want the shoes off because otherwise their floors or carpets might get dirty. I guess I just look at as I have kids, therefore I'm going to have dirty floors and carpets from now until they move out. That's why I have a good vacuum cleaner, a good steam cleaner, mops and lots of cleaning products. It just would never occur to me to ask people to take off their shoes because my floors might get dirty.

 

[Mskanga]

the foot disesase you can spread by walking around barefoot...blech! I don't even go barefoot at a water park or in a pool....No stores or restuarants would allow you to go in barefoot

Amen to that!!! My kids both got plantar warts and it took them weeks to get rid of them. I avoid walking barefoot any chance I get, and I practice that at home too.

 

[disykat]

Okay, here's an aspect of this we haven't covered. We're being honest here, so don't shoot me. I've already stated the reasons I prefer shoes on in the house. The one I've been afraid to mention - okay here comes the honesty - is that I actually have the "how tacky" thought when asked to take my shoes off. I wonder if they will have a plastic cover on the couch too and sort of assume it's a false pride thing - having possesions they can't afford to upkeep.

I think it's pretty interesting - I wear my shoes, you think I'm disgusting. You don't wear your shoes, I think you're tacky.

 

[Pembo]

I have 2 stories to tell about this very issue.

1. We were invited to a Sikh wedding in a friends home. The invitations included some information about what would happen at the wedding including the fact that would we have to leave our shoes outside as it is the custom. Everyone was prepared and most of the women brought slippers for in the house.

2. We were invited to a Christmas party at the home of ds's preschool friend. We got to the door and she had a SHOE CHECK! I thought they were kidding. We put all our shoes in a basket, were given a number and our shoes disappeared. DH & I were VERY confused about this. She had well over 50 people thru her house that day, all without shoes. The worst part was all the food was in the basement~and it was VERY cold down there. I thought that was VERY RUDE! Buy some big rugs for people to wipe their feet instead of all those baskets. And for the record I was a little grossed out over the idea of my shoes being tossed in a basket with other peoples. No respect for my shoes?!

We are in Ohio. Both of these tales happened in Ohio. I was raised to keep my shoes on. I don't like to wear shoes in MY house but I don't like to be forced to take them off in someone elses home. It's my choice!

As always, I'm Pro-Choice!

 

[Lisa F]

I agree with poohandwendy that either wearing or not wearing shoes by itself is not rude. What is rude is the host requiring the guest to do either if they are not comfortable with it.

I understand it's a regional thing. If you are from Minnesota and everyone knows it's the cultural norm to take their shoes off, it's likely that MOST people are going to take their shoes off anyway. If someone from another area of the country visits and doesn't feel comfortable taking off their shoes, IMO the rudeness comes from the HOST who is so narrowminded about cultural preferences that they pass judgement on someone who maybe has never even HEARD of that practice.

Ditto if you are from an area where keeping your shoes on is the norm and someone with different cultural practices comes into your home and takes their shoes off because that is how they are comfortable.

IMO it boils down to whether it is the role of the host to make the guest comfortable or whether it is the role of the guest to find out the "rules" before becoming a guest and making sure to abide by them. Personally, when I host people I am more concerned about THEM having a good time then being a control freak and making sure they do things exactly the way I do them.

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by disykat
I wonder if they will have a plastic cover on the couch too and sort of assume it's a false pride thing - having possesions they can't afford to upkeep.

AKKKKKKK the plastic on the couch thing!! Growing up I had a neighbor that had that and I can still remember how horrible it was to sit on that thing in the summer with shorts on and try to get up with your legs sticking to it....YUK!!!

 

[Disney's Deluxe Princess]

If you are that concerned about the condition of your floors and rugs, then do not invite company over to your home. It's as simple as that! The host is supposed to worry about the comfort of her guests, not about how many germs were tracked in from the sidewalk. If someone wants to take their shoes off, so be it! If they want them on, GREAT! I was asked once to take my shoes off at a baby shower. There was actually a sign in the entry way telling folks to do so. I turned myself around and never looked back.

 

[tkyes]

Here's what I don't think people are understanding -


It's normal here.

No one thinks it's odd to take your shoes off when you enter someone's home.

No one asks anyone to take their shoes off.



Also - no one said "If I had a guest who wanted to leave their shoes on I would throw their behind outside and never welcome them in my house again!"

Our guests are far more important than our possessions, this is not an issue. It's just normal here for everyone to do it.


I understand that it's normal for everyone to leave their shoes on at theirs and others homes in a lot of areas. That doesn't mean it's normal in my area of the country. I can understand but not agree. I'm just getting the impression that people are thinking we are all rude and hostile to our guests, but our guests think nothing of it because this is what they do in their homes as well. It's normal here.

 

[KathyTX]

tkyes- now go back and read the original post.

I believe the question, posed by someone who lives in Georgia (where the weather is warm), is whether it is rude to ask guests, included a disabled older relative, to remove their shoes when visiting her home.

I think the answer to this question is an emphatic yes.

What's your opinion on the original poster's question?

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally posted by tkyes
No one asks anyone to take their shoes off.

But isn't THAT the original question...is it rude to ask? If, in your part of the country, it's normal to walk into someone else's house and take off your shoes, then I guess asking them to do so isn't even an issue. If I don't take off my shoes in your house in your part of the country, I think it IS rude for you to ask me to.

If you came to MY house...depending on how well I know you...I would expect you to keep your shoes on. To me, taking your shoes off in MY house means, if you're anything but a close friend, you're feeling a little "too" comfortable and familiar in my house, and I'd half expect you to then patter across my kitchen floor in your socks to my fridge and help yourself to my food. That's just the image I have a the whole "making yourself at home" in my house, no matter who you are.

But I don't think the question was ever answered...are there people that the "sock people" DON'T expect to take their shoes off in your home? A priest/minister? The rooter man to unclog your pipes (sorry...it was a recent event here )? Someone bringing their child to play who you barely know? I'm just trying to understand the parameters.