Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

[kimblebee]

Our Governor General tenure is almost up. Wondering if it’s possible that is in the cards?

Duke of Windsor was GG of Bahamas and Queen Victoria’s SIL was GG of Canada.

Ohhhh, that’s a very intriguing idea.

The comments section of that Daily Mail article was a very entertaining read!

The comments in this thread are...entertaining. So much hate for people you’ve never even met and don’t even concern you.

 

[Turn the Page]

Ohhhh, that’s a very intriguing idea.



The comments in this thread are...entertaining. So much hate for people you’ve never even met and don’t even concern you.

Well, speaking for myself, I work in an historical field specializing in 18th century British and French history so while the modern British monarchy is not strictly in my wheelhouse they are the current members of the historical institution I work with so it is a professional interest for me.

Who knows. A lot of people follow the Kardashians, I follow the Royal Family. To each their own.

 

[Colleen27]

I don't get the royals-watching thing in general, so the appeal of the whole melodrama is mostly lost on me. It all reminds me of the whole Kardashian trying to become the youngest female "self-made" billionaire headlines a while back - a couple of people steeped in privilege and rolling in money they didn't earn, acting like they are taking some big shocking risk by "striking out on their own" with a safety net larger than the GDP of a small country. How exciting!

 

[soccerdad72]

It's perfectly acceptable to make sacrifices for one's family. I was even a SAHD previously (talk about being judged )

Not entirely sure that's what this is, but I don't follow Royal Family news all that closely, so who knows?

 

[Ariel484]

The Royal Family and the tabloid press got his mother-perhaps Harry is making sure they don't get his wife, too. Along with the burden of being loathed by the press, Meghan has the underlying trial of racism as well to deal with. If they want to go and have a separate life, so be it. Harry is a combat veteran, he gave to his country and look how he was repaid.

I thought the same thing - he doesn't want his son to go through what he went through (he's been very open about how he still struggles with the death of his mother, went to therapy for it, etc.).

Your priorities change when you become a parent - they just do. For many reasons, I barely post pictures of my kid on my private Instagram account and no one gives 2 sh*** about me/my life. I can't imagine what it's like to "owe" the public access to you/your family because you were born into the royal family.

 

[Minnesota!]

We have always lived our life on what is best for the 4 of us. We stay in jobs we don't like because the pay affords us to do and be and have fun as a family.

My first reaction to the news was WHAT A SMART MOVE!

 

[HopperFan]

IWhat I find unseemly is that this seems to have been a very calculated plan that took considerable time to hatch, yet it seems Harry didn't seem to take into consideration that it might have been kinder and helpful to those he claims to love and care about to inform them and discuss with them his plans before taking it to the press -- particularly when your grandparents are in their nineties and no doubt floundering with the bombshells flying over their second son.

SO MUCH THIS! This small piece alone speaks volumes about their respect for the family Harry was born and raised in. Elizabeth is the CEO (his boss), she is the Matriarch of the family, his Grandmother who helped raise him and she is the Queen of England. She has provided for every aspect of his life. If they worked hard on a plan they should have presented it to her, discussed and worked out what makes them all happy going forward. But they chose the immature route of making a statement on social media .... imagine the disrespect she felt.

I get it, he'll never be King, so why should he have to do all the duties of the family ..... maybe because it's the world that has supported his extravagant lifestyle and his upbringing was to help carry the family forward. But I'm totally okay if that isn't the work he wants to do going forward. Then the right thing to do is officially quit your job and get another. That also means forfeiting all the benefits that came with the old job. They seem to want their cake and eat it too. Pick one or the other, whatever makes them happy. It's not like he doesn't have a nice savings account and I'm sure when his father passes he'll gain a deposit.

It astounds me how much hatred people can have for people they've never met living in circumstances so incredibly different from their own. I have no real idea what "behind the scenes" life is really like for Harry/Megan - no idea if they fight with the rest of the family or if the rest of the family gives them the cold shoulder, maybe they're truly horrible people, or maybe they're stuck in a bad situation and are trying to get out it, blundering as they go? It truly could be any number of things in reality - but its crazy to me how people call Megan such horrible names and assume the absolute worse in her. Seems like a real lack of compassion in our world these days.

I don't read things said as hatred but more like .... eye rolling. I don't care anything about the Royal family, I don't get the fawning or following. I tend to look at it as a big lucrative family business wrapped in the trappings of something out of fairy tale books. It's not for everyone and it has never seemed to be for Harry. He bucked the system with who he married but it was okay because he will never be the CEO of the company. I do think she has brought problems for him that maybe he wasn't prepared to deal with ..... which is probably why this has happened. She doesn't have access to things others do because your place in the family are "a thing" and while he is a wealthy guy, most of what they get to enjoy are not theirs to keep, now or ever. It might be difficult for her/them to deal with their place vs William's place in the family. Two siblings who have two completely different paths and levels within the "company". I don't think this has turned out to be the fairy tale ending she had hoped for and now there is a child involved. Sad but is anyone really surprised?

I do partially blame the queen. For YEARS he has done his best to publicly embarrass the royal family. He couldn't have sent them more messages if he tried. LONG ago, the queen should have accepted he wasn't needed to carry the monarchy and he didn't want to be proper. She should have set up a trust that would have protected him for years and told him once he completed his military he was free to pursue a common's life. Get a job, get married, have a family ...... pay a mortgage, pay insurance, car payments etc. Maybe after some time he would have come back to the family business, but I think he would have been much happier living life away from it. He seems to be so much his mother and I think he would have flourished in private sector. Right now it just seems one blunder after another.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would like to make comments on a more general level. As the royal family is a very major and unique situation!
In everyday life I have personally experienced and have seen families where the parents, the matriarchy or patriarchy, believe that they have a lot of, if not total, entitlement and control. Them, aka The Family, have to always be the first and only priority.
So, yes I will say that ones own non-extended family (spouse child-ren). should always come first.
However, in a situation like this, I think that this Royal Couple are way out of line and are behaving like entitled brats.
Nobody has any overriding lifelong obligation to their parents/boss/business/whatever.
That is fine and good!!!!
But nobody has the right to be “entitled”. Entitlement is one of my big personal things. Big time.

If they want to live their lives apart from being Royal, and all of the obligations and downside that might also come with that. Fine!!! I would be happy for them!!!

But the entitlement just absolutely reeks. They seem to feel that they can just arbitrarily issue statements, call the shots, and make demands.

And, just personally, I also would not give any consideration at all to the whole “But the queen is a million years old”. Or, “He is obligated to stay in succession”. Not at all. No human being should have that kind of weight or demand or control. I wouldn’t care if there were nobody else in succession who chose to fill that role.

 

[SaintsManiac]

Did they express public disappointment with Prince Andrew? Genuinely asking.

 

[cabanafrau]

SO MUCH THIS! This small piece alone speaks volumes about their respect for the family Harry was born and raised in. Elizabeth is the CEO (his boss), she is the Matriarch of the family, his Grandmother who helped raise him and she is the Queen of England. She has provided for every aspect of his life. If they worked hard on a plan they should have presented it to her, discussed and worked out what makes them all happy going forward. But they chose the immature route of making a statement on social media .... imagine the disrespect she felt.

I get it, he'll never be King, so why should he have to do all the duties of the family ..... maybe because it's the world that has supported his extravagant lifestyle and his upbringing was to help carry the family forward. But I'm totally okay if that isn't the work he wants to do going forward. Then the right thing to do is officially quit your job and get another. That also means forfeiting all the benefits that came with the old job. They seem to want their cake and eat it too. Pick one or the other, whatever makes them happy. It's not like he doesn't have a nice savings account and I'm sure when his father passes he'll gain a deposit.



I don't read things said as hatred but more like .... eye rolling. I don't care anything about the Royal family, I don't get the fawning or following. I tend to look at it as a big lucrative family business wrapped in the trappings of something out of fairy tale books. It's not for everyone and it has never seemed to be for Harry. He bucked the system with who he married but it was okay because he will never be the CEO of the company. I do think she has brought problems for him that maybe he wasn't prepared to deal with ..... which is probably why this has happened. She doesn't have access to things others do because your place in the family are "a thing" and while he is a wealthy guy, most of what they get to enjoy are not theirs to keep, now or ever. It might be difficult for her/them to deal with their place vs William's place in the family. Two siblings who have two completely different paths and levels within the "company". I don't think this has turned out to be the fairy tale ending she had hoped for and now there is a child involved. Sad but is anyone really surprised?

I do partially blame the queen. For YEARS he has done his best to publicly embarrass the royal family. He couldn't have sent them more messages if he tried. LONG ago, the queen should have accepted he wasn't needed to carry the monarchy and he didn't want to be proper. She should have set up a trust that would have protected him for years and told him once he completed his military he was free to pursue a common's life. Get a job, get married, have a family ...... pay a mortgage, pay insurance, car payments etc. Maybe after some time he would have come back to the family business, but I think he would have been much happier living life away from it. He seems to be so much his mother and I think he would have flourished in private sector. Right now it just seems one blunder after another.

He should get to decide if he wants royal duties or doesn't IMO. Perhaps if he had worked with his grandmother, father and brother they might have been willing to work out a means of making his role more flexible to fit the lifestyle they want (if they even know what that is). Presenting it as fait accompli in the press first may have cut off their own noses.

To a lot of people it looks like the Queen is fully in charge of royal business. Looking at it from the outside and what gets covered in the press it does seem that there's much more to it than that, and that even the Queen has to answer to not only laws, but to public opinion to some degree, and quite possibly to large extent to royal staff or courtiers or whatever the administrative background players are called. It seems they have a great deal of authority as to protocol, policies and procedure -- and would be the likely "palace sources" so often mentioned in press coverage that stirs up the winds shaping public opinion. Whether this power behind the throne doesn't like Meghan, Meghan is chafing at royal life, marriage has triggered changes in Harry or simply freed him to pursue what he's always longed for, it seems that power behind the throne is likely what they've been butting heads with and losing the press battle with. It's likely making such a bold public move without using family support was a poor choice that will likely impact the available options.

 

[tvguy]

For use commoners, family should come first.
For the Royals, they have no say. DW and DD are huge Royal watchers and from the moment Meghan Markle and Harry got engaged they felt that Meghan had no idea how different being an American Celebrity was from being a member of a Royal Family. Being an American Celebrity brings with it perks. Being a Royal takes those perks away.

 

[Turn the Page]

Did they express public disappointment with Prince Andrew? Genuinely asking.

I'm not certain but I would highly doubt it. I think Andrew was essentially retired from public life, for the time being anyway, but I don't think they issued a public statement saying the Queen was disappointed in him or anything like that.

It is VERY unusual for the palace to issue statements of that nature. The fact that they did in this case is likely an indication of how upset everyone in the palace is. It was damage control which is something the Queen almost never does. Harry and Meghan forced her hand in the way they went about their announcement and I imagine that will come back to bite them in the behind.

 

[Imzadi]

“Canadian frozen tundra” lol that’s a bit much. They spent 8 weeks over the holidays in BC where the weather is very temperate And MM was a resident in Toronto for years so it didn’t seem to bother her.

Considering the UK is basically on the same latitude as most of Canada, I don't think Harry will have much of a problem either.

 

[SaintsManiac]

I'm not certain but I would highly doubt it. I think Andrew was essentially retired from public life, for the time being anyway, but I don't think they issued a public statement saying the Queen was disappointed in him or anything like that.

It is VERY unusual for the palace to issue statements of that nature. The fact that they did in this case is likely an indication of how upset everyone in the palace is. It was damage control which is something the Queen almost never does. Harry and Meghan forced her hand in the way they went about their announcement and I imagine that will come back to bite them in the behind.

Seems like manufactured outrage and disappointment to keep the media off of Andrew.

 

[Searc]

Did they express public disappointment with Prince Andrew? Genuinely asking.

Nope.

 

[DLgal]

My nuclear family comes first, absolutely. Within that, my kids needs are #1. We deal with a lot with them (they are autistic) and their well being is paramount to every decision my husband and I make. My husband has made many sacrifices in his military career so that our kids would have what they need. He has volunteered for deployments so that we could have more time at the same duty station where our kids needs were being met in school. He has sacrificed advancement by requesting homesteading for the same reason. He is currently overseas working for a year without us so that we didn't have to move our kids halfway through high school. He is retiring later this year because if he stays in, frequent moves will be unavoidable at a critical developmental time for our kids, and that is not what we want. We don't have a big extended family, but anyone outside our nuclear family will never come before those within it. We work outwards that way. My "contribution to society" is to raise well adjusted kids who will hopefully go on to contribute positively to the world in some way, as well as to live my life in a way that I do no harm to anyone and spread kindness and positivity.

The entire concept of "Royal Families" is just so outdated and pretentious and stupid at this point. I think Harry and Meghan should be allowed to live their own lives as they please.

They both seem to be very passionate and outspoken about mental health and I hope their plan is to focus their lives helping others within that space, in some way or another. I don't begrudge them the money they have inherited, but they do have fame/ a voice and if they plan to use it for good, then they should be ENCOURAGED to do so. Now, if they just wanted to walk away from their royal duties to party it up on yachts and private jets, I'd have a different opinion. Somehow, though, I think those days are past them and they truly want to live a normal life, working on causes that they are passionate about. Good for them!

 

[HopperFan]

He should get to decide if he wants royal duties or doesn't IMO. Perhaps if he had worked with his grandmother, father and brother they might have been willing to work out a means of making his role more flexible to fit the lifestyle they want (if they even know what that is). Presenting it as fait accompli in the press first may have cut off their own noses.

100% agree. If he wants he should quit and they should make their own lives, with their own rules and their own family style. I support him doing that if it makes them happy. But his lifestyle has been supported by his obligation to all things tied to the Queen. Quitting your responsibility should mean giving up the perks.

But when you read their "announcement to the world" it reads as if they still want their royal perks but without participating in the royal responsibilities. I would love to quit a job and still get all the benefits or tell my family I'm going to live somewhere else for half the year but I want them to continue to provide me fancy housing while I'm in town .... etc.

I don't think we should confuse the "Monarchy" in terms of ...
- government structure and all of its holdings
- crown structure and all of its holdings
- royal family and all of its holdings

Prince Harry's obligations and benefits would come from the crown and royal family. His military duty would have been to the government but his $50,000 a year salary certainly didn't support his lifestyle. It was mostly a duty performed, and pocket change pay for him.

 

[nkereina]

Sorry if this has been mentioned, but William and Kate seem to handle their family and royal responsibilities well. And they have three kids and likely more responsibility, being directly in line for the throne. Ever since Harry and Meghan got married, I have heard news stories periodically that Meghan wasn't taking the notoriety and criticism well. Its certainly not for everyone. It sounds like she may be missing her old lifestyle, with her wanting to get back into acting. I'm wondering if the differences are that Kate knew exactly what she was getting into, being from England and understanding what the royal family was about. Meghan probably thought she knew, but likely had no idea. And her criticism in the press was likely heightened with her being American. I feel for her because its a tough road to walk down, but by the same token, it also comes with the territory.

 

[cabanafrau]

100% agree. If he wants he should quit and they should make their own lives, with their own rules and their own family style. I support him doing that if it makes them happy. But his lifestyle has been supported by his obligation to all things tied to the Queen. Quitting your responsibility should mean giving up the perks.

But when you read their "announcement to the world" it reads as if they still want their royal perks but without participating in the royal responsibilities. I would love to quit a job and still get all the benefits or tell my family I'm going to live somewhere else for half the year but I want them to continue to provide me fancy housing while I'm in town .... etc.

I don't think we should confuse the "Monarchy" in terms of ...
- government structure and all of its holdings
- crown structure and all of its holdings
- royal family and all of its holdings

Prince Harry's obligations and benefits would come from the crown and royal family. His military duty would have been to the government but his $50,000 a year salary certainly didn't support his lifestyle. It was mostly a duty performed, and pocket change pay for him.

I agree, and I think they may have issued their statement with the expectation that they have the upper hand once the announcement is made. Even with family cooperation it's likely compromises would have had to be negotiated. Making the statement without notice to the family likely cut off some of the family's ability to negotiate for them -- and perhaps creates unwillingness to do so if feelings have been bruised.

Honestly I think the writing was on the wall with the trademarking. That points to a willingness on their part to proceed in the name of self interest full speed ahead. It smacks of some of the methods of Prince Andrew to commoditize palace connections for personal gain while claiming charitable intentions.

 

[Nancyg56]

I think that there is way more here than what has been disclosed, announced or printed. I would bet you a buck that much of this stems from some sort of "issue" between the brother's families. I certainly sympathize with MM and would not want to be in her shoes. She and Kate are two different personalities, and from the outside looking in, it seems that Kate either has an easier time with the attention, or outwardly handles it better, as it seems with William vs Harry. This happens in a lot of families, so distance can be a godsend. With that said, no matter how you look at your circumstance, you owe some sort of courtesy to those who you answer to in one way or another. Even if as a family unit you want autonomy, if that family unit is in some way your "employer" you owe a "notice" that is not a public announcement of intention. I find that aspect of this circus appalling.