Is anyone else not saving or paying for college?

[hellow]

How did a thread about saving for college turn into yet another thread denigrating SAHM's?

I don't think it is the SAHM's that are being denigrated on this thread--the initial post was FROM a SAHM denigrating working mothers (or at least that is how most of us interpreted it).

I agree with the other posters that every family has to make a choice that is right for them. Don't judge others. I got so tired of hearing what a horrible person I was for working all those years--usually by someone whose husband made more than my husband and me put together, drove nice cars, had a big house and got to spend precious time with their kids. You can get a little sensitive after a while.

 

[SLP958]

I know.



In other news, though, my useless SAHM butt beat my old record for number of bonbons I can consume during one episode of Dr. Phil today.

Dr. Phil always makes my day seem so much better! No matter what I don't have a child trying to kill me or adult temper tantrums.

 

[ctinct]

I hope the OP is still reading here, because I want to respond to something I read a couple of nights ago. I believe the OP said he/she would not be filling out FAFSA for her child. Do you realize there are some schools (not many, but some) that will not even consider giving a student merit aid unless the FAFSA is filled out? If your student is eligible for merit aid, that is free money they could be passed over for.

And since your plan is to have your child pay for school, do you realize that for the student to get federal loans, the parent(s) must fill out the FAFSA? These loans are available to all students, and some of them don't accrue interest while the student is in school at least half time. If the student is paying for school, I think they might need access to those loans. FAFSA does not obligate you, the parent , to pay anything, so why do you plan to not fill it out? It just might get your child some financial assistance.

 

[pooh4evr]

I know.

In other news, though, my useless SAHM butt beat my old record for number of bonbons I can consume during one episode of Dr. Phil today.

OMG! Love that!

 

[leebee]

I come from NH and in-state tuition at UNH for one year was more than I paid for all 4 years at a private western school that was in the top 3 schools in the nation for my major.

No kidding! Maine has a reciprocity agreement with UNH (through the New England Board of Higher Ed) that DD could have taken advantage of but the "reduced" tuition was ridiculous! We also looked at having her live with her aunt in southern Maine and commute to UNH, but it was more expensive to do that than to pay tuition and live on campus at UMaine. UNH is very expensive- but NH is one of the states with no state income tax, which is where a large amount of the money needed to operate state universities usually comes from, so I guess it's not too surprising that UNH is so expensive, comparatively.

 

[SpartansFan]

I'm so happy that my parents fully paid for my undergraduate degree and harbor no ill will toward me now that I stay home to raise my children. Further, I am so pleased my husband does not view the money we spent on my law school education as wasted dollars. I am very fortunate to be surrounded by people who valued my education and my choice to spend my days with my children. Imagine that.

I have two daughters and one son. I will pay for all three to attend college, perhaps even graduate school, without a moments thought given to whether my girls will ultimately decide to take time out of their careers to raise children. I tell them all daily, without reservation, to shoot for the moon in their life and will be proud if any of them end up a highly educated SAHM.

 

[gracer9977]

Wow, took a long time to read through this whole thread.

My DH and I are putting aside small amounts of money for our kids college funds and small amounts of money toward retirement. We do what we can but we don't have much left over after paying our bills and mortgage (which keeps going up every year thanks to taxes).

Anyway my hope is that my children will both join the military. My grandfather was a veteran from the Canadian Army, My mom and dad were both in the Army during Vietnam. I spent 7 years serving in the AF and my DH spent 4 years also in the AF (that's how we met). I put myself through college and got my Associates while in the AF, using tuition assistance and the GI Bill. My parents never had to pay a dime and I graduated with no debt. My DH and I both have good jobs even though my DH never went to college and I just have an associates. The 7 years I spent in the AF were some of the best years of my life. The people I met, the places I went and the experiences I had have made me who I am today. Plus anytime I have applied for a job the military experience is always a huge plus for employers.

We will do what we can to help our kids in whatever they decide to do whether it's to go to college, join the military or just go straight into the workforce. Unfortunately it won't be a totally free ride for either of them.

 

[DisneyBill]

I'm so happy that my parents fully paid for my undergraduate degree and harbor no ill will toward me now that I stay home to raise my children. Further, I am so pleased my husband does not view the money we spent on my law school education as wasted dollars. I am very fortunate to be surrounded by people who valued my education and my choice to spend my days with my children. Imagine that.

I have two daughters and one son. I will pay for all three to attend college, perhaps even graduate school, without a moments thought given to whether my girls will ultimately decide to take time out of their careers to raise children. I tell them all daily, without reservation, to shoot for the moon in their life and will be proud if any of them end up a highly educated SAHM.

Excellent post and point of view. I've visited this thread many times without commenting, thanks for your well grounded thoughts.

 

[bballmom56]

I hope the OP is still reading here, because I want to respond to something I read a couple of nights ago. I believe the OP said he/she would not be filling out FAFSA for her child. Do you realize there are some schools (not many, but some) that will not even consider giving a student merit aid unless the FAFSA is filled out? If your student is eligible for merit aid, that is free money they could be passed over for.

And since your plan is to have your child pay for school, do you realize that for the student to get federal loans, the parent(s) must fill out the FAFSA? These loans are available to all students, and some of them don't accrue interest while the student is in school at least half time. If the student is paying for school, I think they might need access to those loans. FAFSA does not obligate you, the parent , to pay anything, so why do you plan to not fill it out? It just might get your child some financial assistance.

Absolutely true. The private college my kids attended had that requirement for the merit plus other institutional aid they received. Had we not submitted the FAFSA, the one would not have received the 1/2 tuition award for 4 years and the other would not have received partial for 2 years and full for 2 years. This made their education at least an equivalent cost, if not less than our state schools.

We picked up the rest of the cost of their education through savings, inheritance (it had always been the wish of one set of grandparents that the kids would go to the college of their choice - we honored that wish from the inheritance they passed on to us) and hard work. We know we were very lucky to be able to do that and others do not have those resources. We could have kept the inheritance and savings for ourselves, but giving the kids their education meant much more to us. And a few years ago when the last one graduated, I helped him move out of his off campus house. We started on our way home in separate vehicles with all his worldly possessions heading to a very uncertain job market and very uncertain economy. We stopped before leaving his city to grab a meal at one of his favorite places. As we approached each other, I could see his expression was strained. He hugged me tightly with tears in his eyes and said "Thank you, Mom." We both dissolved into tears - he, because he was so grateful for his whole college experience and with the uncertain economy and job market, he was not strangled with debt, and me, because we saw him grow and mature into such a caring, responsible, intelligent adult from his experience. All of that was worth every penny we invested. And yes, to me it was an investment.

 

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

We have three kids that are all one year apart and if they want to go to college will be starting school in about 5 years.

We make a decent living and make too much for any of the kids to get any kind of financial assistance but we can't afford to put 3 kids through college.

I have told them they will have to get their first 2 years of academics through the local community college and then transfer to a state school to get their bachelors degree.

That will save a ton of money. With tuition rates at some schools around $400 a semester hour we will have to pay for books and fees out of pocket then get student loans for the tuition.

I don't want my kids to start out life with a ton of debt so I will probably pay the first year of their student loan payments while they hopefully get a job in their field. Then after the first year I will pay half and they will pay half the loan payments.

 

[Kitty 34]

If college costs hadn't gotten so high then this wouldn't be an issue. Parents could either pay, or it would be a feasible option for students to work and pay for themselves.

There is going to have to be a major reform on the cost of further education. There is going to be an economic crash when all of these students with huge amounts of students loans enter the workplace, but have to use all of their wages to pay the loans instead of putting that money in to the economy. Not putting money in to the economy means companies won't be hiring, which means less jobs for people who are trying to pay loans. It's a viscous circle. And there aren't many students graduating without loans these days. Yes, there are some who had generous parents or had the stars align where they were able to generate enough money by working or scholarships, but most take out loans. I am the only one of my friends who had no loans. And I graduated 10 years ago. It's worse now.

There is no reason for tuition to outpace inflation. Someone has to be making money off of it.

This is exactly what my brother and I talk about constantly right now as he struggles to put his son thru college on his teaching salary. College costs have been absolutely through the roof and insane these past few years!!!

With DS #1.... we were one of those very few fortunate ones in which DS got a full ride on his basketball skills. HOWEVER......he graduated with a Phys Ed/Business degree. After 7 years (he was a college coach) he decided to go back for his Teaching Degree. So at 32 years old he now has his teaching degree and thanks to 2 years getting that he is $25,000 in debt!! Two years!!

DS #2.......went to Univ of Detroit Mercy and even with an academic scholarship he ended up owing $15,000 a year. DH and I did what we possibly could to help with some of his living expensives. Now he has a good job but because of his loans he and his fiancee are "waiting" to buy a house, a car, etc until more of his loans (and hers) are paid off.

DS #3.......chose the Air Force over school. He's getting a great education in air traffic controller; is getting married this March and will be living on base in a nice house. And no debt!

I'm not here to argue should or shouldn't parents pay for college. That's a personal decision based on many things that have already been brought up on this thread.

 

[momto2girls]

I'm so happy that my parents fully paid for my undergraduate degree and harbor no ill will toward me now that I stay home to raise my children. Further, I am so pleased my husband does not view the money we spent on my law school education as wasted dollars. I am very fortunate to be surrounded by people who valued my education and my choice to spend my days with my children. Imagine that.

I have two daughters and one son. I will pay for all three to attend college, perhaps even graduate school, without a moments thought given to whether my girls will ultimately decide to take time out of their careers to raise children. I tell them all daily, without reservation, to shoot for the moon in their life and will be proud if any of them end up a highly educated SAHM.

I feel the same way! I am a highly-educated SAHM (I have a B.A., a B.S., and an MBA). No one in my family considers my education to be "wasted". My education gave me options. Although I eventually chose to become a SAHM, I had a fulfilling and well-paid career for several years. I am very grateful that I had the option to do that as well.

We will pay in full for our daughters' college educations. This includes graduate school as well. (We are blessed to be able to do that as well as provide ourselves with a nice retirement.) I want them to have as many opportunities and options as I can give them. If, however, they are fortunate enough to have the option to become SAHMs, I will be thrilled if they choose to do that. I will be as proud of them if they are SAHMS as I would if they had successful careers outside of their homes. At no time would it occur to me that I had "wasted" my money.

 

[4luv2cdisney]

We have three kids that are all one year apart and if they want to go to college will be starting school in about 5 years.

We make a decent living and make too much for any of the kids to get any kind of financial assistance but we can't afford to put 3 kids through college.

I have told them they will have to get their first 2 years of academics through the local community college and then transfer to a state school to get their bachelors degree.
That will save a ton of money. With tuition rates at some schools around $400 a semester hour we will have to pay for books and fees out of pocket then get student loans for the tuition.

I don't want my kids to start out life with a ton of debt so I will probably pay the first year of their student loan payments while they hopefully get a job in their field. Then after the first year I will pay half and they will pay half the loan payments.

I know this is a bit of a hijack, but this thread is going all over the place anyway, right?

Does going to a community college for the first 2 years negatively affect getting into your desired schoool or receiving financial aid? Does it put kids at any sort of disadvantage?

We thought we were doing a decent job saving for college, but now that we are just a few years away and looking at some of the numbers, we are starting to doubt we will be able to help in the way we would have liked. If both kids do community college for the 1st 2 years then transfer it shouldn't be much of a problem financially....unless we are talking some of the most expensive schools and NO financial aid. So many "if's" in the equation. It is really hard figure it all out! I would like both kids to aim high, but where they land has yet to be seen!

 

[pooh4evr]

I know this is a bit of a hijack, but this thread is going all over the place anyway, right?

Does going to a community college for the first 2 years negatively affect getting into your desired schoool or receiving financial aid? Does it put kids at any sort of disadvantage?

We thought we were doing a decent job saving for college, but now that we are just a few years away and looking at some of the numbers, we are starting to doubt we will be able to help in the way we would have liked. If both kids do community college for the 1st 2 years then transfer it shouldn't be much of a problem financially....unless we are talking some of the most expensive schools and NO financial aid. So many "if's" in the equation. It is really hard figure it all out! I would like both kids to aim high, but where they land has yet to be seen!

I dont think so, we are pushing our girls to start at the cc because our district has the A+ program.. if the kids graduate with a high enough GPA, the cc is free for 2 years. It doesnt matter where you start (most have the same intro classes) but where you finish and get most of your chosen major classes.

 

[xCourxCorex]

I was lucky enough to have my parents pay the majority of my schooling (I took out a small loan each year, in addition to a yearly scholarship and grant..they paid the rest of tuition and room/board for the 3 years I lived on campus. I paid books/supplies and transportation costs ie: gas, and parking).

I graduated in May with $19,000 of student loan debt. Decided to throw an extra $50 toward my monthly payments and reduced my term from a 10 year repayment to 7.5 years. I could easily put more money towards my loans and pay them off sooner, but I have other things I am looking to save for. I manage the payments just fine, and luckily I am employed full time at a well paying job (for being right out of school).

My boyfriend attended the same school (total of 5 years) .. his parents didn't pay a thing, and he got no scholarships. He took out loans each year for our *very* expensive private school. Worked full-time for 3+ years and graduated in 2011 - he has already paid off one loan in full plus some, and has bills of over $1,000 a month in student loans. He regrets choosing such an expensive school and footing the entire bill himself - it's been nearly impossible to save anything with school loans that are on par with some families' mortgages.

Some kids don't realize at 18 just how much their payments will be when they get out, and how hard it will be to get a job after graduation. The job market is ROUGH out there for any major or field.
Food for thought.

 

[LisaR]

I know this is a bit of a hijack, but this thread is going all over the place anyway, right?

Does going to a community college for the first 2 years negatively affect getting into your desired schoool or receiving financial aid? Does it put kids at any sort of disadvantage?

We thought we were doing a decent job saving for college, but now that we are just a few years away and looking at some of the numbers, we are starting to doubt we will be able to help in the way we would have liked. If both kids do community college for the 1st 2 years then transfer it shouldn't be much of a problem financially....unless we are talking some of the most expensive schools and NO financial aid. So many "if's" in the equation. It is really hard figure it all out! I would like both kids to aim high, but where they land has yet to be seen!

My daughter is dual enrolled at the community college and will graduate high school with her AA. She has gotten into every college she has applied to.

She has met many people at the community college who may have started out dual enrolled but didn't take enough classes to get their AA. They have finished up at the community college and gone on, or are going on, to many schools around the state and country. In addition, one of our top private, very expensive schools gives a two year full tuition scholarship to those who transfer in with their AA from one of our local community colleges. My daughter knows three people who have received this scholarship! The school is a STEM heavy school which doesn't appeal to my daughter so she didn't apply.

Finally, one of the cautions we repeatedly heard about going to a community college was that the credits may not transfer. That wasn't true for DD nor any of her friends. While most of the schools DD applied to were in state, she did apply to three out of state schools. One is a major Big 10 university and the other two were smaller private schools. Every single school awarded her complete credit for each class at the community college. For her friends who transferred with a large amount of credit but didn't get their AA, they also were able to have all of their credits transfer. I think the only time this is a true problem is if you aren't taking academic classes (ceramics or painting as opposed to math and English) or you took some classes that were below the requirements (two math classes for your AA, but the university requires two higher level math classes for their BA/BS for your degree). For us, community college has been a great avenue for our daughter and, for the most part, it has been free. My son is now taking classes at the community college toward his AS. If he wants to continue on to a university, we will have him stay at the community college and complete his AA before moving on. I have yet to find any disadvantages.

 

[kinntj]

If you don't pay for your child's college education, there are options. Our local news had an article on Facebook about sugar daddies to help pay for student loans. One girl was surprised that the man wanted more from her than just a fun night out. She did get a $100 gift card out of it.

On a more serious note, I think that providing as much help as we can for our kids to be educated is the least we can do. Education is very important to us and that experience is golden.

I would not be upset if my DD's wanted to stay home with their kids after we paid for college. It's their choice! They do need to make good grades while we pay, but besides that it's their life to lead.

 

[dogluva]

I will go out on a limb to say that this is not what the poster meant. I don't think she was talking about women who HAVE to work to make ends meet. I think she was talking about people who feel that having possessions is important. You know, people who have to keep up with the Jones's. I know a lot of people like that- they could live quite comfortably and still be a SAHP if they wanted to- but they need the name brand, high end, yada yada STUFF.

I don't judge people who work two jobs because they have to, or even because they don't. But it makes me sad when their need for STUFF is greater than their need to be with their kids. I have seen it. I know there are people out there like that.

What about the people who actually work because they enjoy it and it gives them satisfaction? I work as a special Ed teacher-I love what I do and it makes me better mother because I am happy. I would be sad if my child had to give up her career because she had kids. I work to pay bills but what I get out of my job is more than about money-it is about self-worth. Call me selfish I guess.

 

[anniemck]

Heck, my 22 will finish her BS (child psychology/family counseling) this May. She is getting married in less than a month, and her soon to be husband just passed his medical clearance for the Air Force. She will continue with Graduate School while he is serving, and the plan is to start having children soon, this way when the last one starts school she will have her Masters and be ready for the work force, on the other hand husband to be is now talking career military which is fine as well. Am I upset that she wants to stay home and raise her kids and not use her education right away... NOPE... her life, she can live it, as long as I get to see the future grandkids when I am able to visit wherever they are based, I will be happy.

She is actually hoping to be the female version of Roland from Army Wives, have her own practice and raise the kids while he does what he does.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I would not be upset if my DD's wanted to stay home with their kids after we paid for college. It's their choice! They do need to make good grades while we pay, but besides that it's their life to lead.

As a WOHM, I agree and would go a step further. I think that staying home with kids is a wonderful thing to do, even though I think there are other equally wonderful ways to raise kids. I also think that a degree can enrich and add to the life of a SAHP in many ways. For one thing, studies show that educated parents raise higher performing kids. A SAHP may choose to volunteer or use their knowledge in other ways. A degree also gives a SAHP more security in case the wife/husband/partner dies, leaves or becomes disabled.

Finally, although I'd be delighted if my daughter or son chose to be a SAHP, I think it would be highly unusual for them to do nothing else in the course of their working-age life. I'll use my mother as a more "typical" story. She graduated from college at 22 and got a job that built on her degree. She held that job for 2 years, and then married my father at 24. From 24 she stayed home full time until she was 36 and her youngest started school full time. From 36 until 44 she worked part time in school settings where she had the same schedule we did. When my youngest brother started high school she began working 3 full days, and moved on to 5 when he went to college when she was 48. She then worked 18 more years, full time, in a career position that required a degree. Looking at her life as a total, she was at home full time for 12 years, at work part time for 12, and worked full time for 20. I don't think that's uncommon. Her degree was definitely a useful investment.