Irresponsible parents

[wvjules]

Yesterday, DD went to a wedding with her friend. They were supposed to be home between 5 and 6. Her mom said she would call and let me know for sure what time they'd be home. Well, 6 comes and goes, then 7, then 8, then 9!!!!

I knew the part of town the reception was in, so I hopped in the car and went looking for them. My cell phone rings, it's my cousin (who lives across from me) telling me that they're home. DD was going to their house to wait for me. I told her to go get her and I'd get DD from her. My cousin said that the mom reeked of alcohol. She drove my DD home!!! The daughter wanted to stay with us b/c her mom was drunk. (She ended up not staying b/c we hung out at my cousin's for a while.) I won't even drink a beer at my parents (which is 3 miles away) and drive with DD in the car.

This is the second time DD has gone somewhere with her friend and not come home until several hours after she was supposed to with no phone call.

I told DD that she's not allowed to go anywhere with her friend anymore. They can be friends and play together, but she's not allowed to go anywhere with them. They already called today to ask if she could go to the movies with them. I said no. DD is mad at me and doesn't understand why she can't go.

As a mother, you'd think that the friend's mom would have known to call me. I went to look for them, for crying out loud and even called the hospitals!!!! I am so pissed right now!

 

[Lorix2]

This would definitely concern me too! When I have other kids in my care, I always be sure to inform the parents on the when/where/cell# etc. I'm glad she got home safely and I would not let her go with them anywhere either and if asked by the parent as to why, I would give it to them straight up.

My DD has a friend that I hadn't met yet and asked if she could sleep over and I said sure, I'll talk to the mother and see if it's ok, etc...well, the mother dropped her off in my driveway and left! She never called me, never introduced herself, didn't make any attempt to know where her DD would be and with whom she'd be with. She never called the next morning either! I had to tell the girl she would have to get ready for us to bring her home as we had plans that afternoon - she got mad at my DD!

Now my DD wants to go to her house and sleep over and I say NO WAY! If she can't be concerned with her own DD's whereabouts and safety, how can I possibly trust her with mine?

You are doing the right thing!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I would be livid! That is so irresponsible!

 

[mowsie dreamer]

Parents like this just burn me up. How irresponsible can you get- to drink & drive, much less with children in the car. Plus not letting you know where they were for 3 hours past the time she said they would be home! There is just no excuse for that!

I don't blame you a bit for not letting your DD go with them again. Having been in similar situations with my DD before, I know how hard it is to explain to them.

 

[4greatboys]

I would be really upset too. I would just tell your dd that her friend can come to your house but that is just not safe for her to go with her friends mom.
Lorix2--that happened to me too. When ds #2 was in the 3rd grade he had a sleepover for his birthday and next am we took the kids Putt Putt golfing. Well this boys dad just dropped him off in the front yard. Didnt meet me or even tell me he was droppign off his kid. Next day after we returned from golfing I had the boy call home to make sure someone was there so I could drop him off (since they failed to pick him up). Well no one answered the phone and we had plans so I drove by the kids house and sure enough they were there. I couldnt believe they would just drop him off with strangers and not be concerned if or when he returned home.

 

[Buckalew]

I'd say with this mom the old saying," Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me."
I wouldn't be able to trust her. Period. She was wrong to not contact you and wrong to drink and drive. I'd for sure tell her what I thought about those actions. I'd let her DD come to my house but mine wouldn't go to hers. I wouldn't trust her to stay home. I'd be concerned she'd go out and drag the kids with her and she'd do it again. She was irresponsible. I don't think I'd take chances with her again.

Glad your DD is safe. Sorry you had to be worried like that because that mom's judgement was impaired.

 

[snoopy]

How frightening for you.

Did you confront this insane person about why she would have the NERVE to drive while drinking not only with her own child but YOUR child too?????

I don't blame you for not allowing your daughter to go anywhere with them again. I'd do the same thing.

 

[Dizzy-Disney4]

Oh God, I would have been worried sick! I can understand why you wouldn't want your DD to go out with them...looks like you're going to have to be the bad guy here to protect her. She'll understand someday.
My "wonderful" MIL was arrested last year for DUI and never told us, but we found out. My children will NEVER ride in a car with her again unless we are there. She doesn't understand our position on this matter and I'm the bad guy (of course not DH though). Oh well, her opinion doesn't matter to me anyways.

 

[delswife]

OMG! I would have come UNGLUED! I have zero tolerance for drunk drivers, especially if there are children involved. I would have called the cops the second she got into her car!
How did you keep from strangling this woman?

 

[adamak]

With or without kid, you should NEVER drink and drive. Not even one beer. Nothing. When is everyone going to learn?

Maybe you can drive your DD to see her friends, and then tell her you would pick her up at a certain time??

 

[Pin Wizard]

Sometimes you wonder what the heck parents are thinking. A friend watched DS during Spring Break a couple weeks ago. DS helped her put her little ones in car seats and hooked their seatbelts. My friend asked DS if he wanted to sit in the front with her husband driving where he would have a seatbelt. DS said NO, he would sit wedged between the kids carseats WITHOUT A SEATBELT because the middle seat's belt was tucked underneath. If it were me...I would INSIST a child sit wherever a seatbelt is available! NO kid gets in my van without one!! What the heck are people thinking. She should have made him sit there. I called her that evening and told her that if she took him out anywhere else the rest of the week, he HAD to have a seatbelt or NOT go.

 

[Mishetta]

I am totally on your side. You are right not to let your daughter go over to her friend's house again, nor go out with them again! Better your daughter cry this one time, then you cry the rest of your life over the "loss" of your daughter! Right?

Drinking & Driving does not MIX! Your daughter's friend's mother was totally irresponsible!

 

[glo]

I think you did the responsible and right thing. I would be livid and would definitely confront this woman about why she didn't call, and the drinking. I would not give in to your DD either, these people are just not trustworthy

 

[house_of_princesses]

It's hard and heart breaking when you have to be firm with your children. But firm you must be! If she's old enough, I'd be flat out honest with DD. I'd tell her I love her to much to give crazy driver authority over DD. She drove under the influence once and it won't be happening again. I've had these talks with my DD's and they accept what I say. Especially when I tell them it's because I love them.

 

[kejoda]

Jules you did the right thing. I really feel for the friend that has to live with this.

 

[Krisu]

DS had a scout patrol camp-out in our yard several years ago. All parents we didn't know came and introduced themselves. One boy got out of the car, mom never got out, then as she drove off she yelled to him "call me if you need your inhaler"!!! Would have been nice if she told me he had asthma!!