Insulting endearments?

[IndianaMouse]

It doesn't bother me but I do think it's strange when someone a lot younger than me calls me sweetie or hon.

Online is another story. If someone posts that they are sick , have lost a loved one, worried about their pet etc. I can understand the endearments. But on a typical thread when I see someone throw out the hon/dear/sweetie my first thought is that they sound like a condescending *****. That may not sound nice, but 99% of the time that's how it comes across to me.

 

[disykat]

What people aren't getting is that it is the sincerity that is at question. If you don't know me, how can I possibly be your sweetheart, honeybun, etc.?

I try to be understanding of it because I think it's a habit, but I certainly don't feel like it's sincere.

 

[rie'smom]

What people aren't getting is that it is the sincerity that is at question. If you don't know me, how can I possibly be your sweetheart, honeybun, etc.?

I try to be understanding of it because I think it's a habit, but I certainly don't feel like it's sincere.

As long as whoever uses the endearment doesn't sound sarcastic, I'm not worried about the sincerity. Some people just get into the habit of using these terms. I like it better than some of the "endearments" I hear in the mall or grocery store. These words were used as the worst insults toward a woman.

 

[MiniGirl]

As I said earlier, I don't care for it. However, it doesn't offend me. Not liking something doesn't automatically equate to being offended by it.

I am curious though..... Why would anyone say they are offended at being called ma'am? Again. I can understand people saying they don't like it, but why is it offensive?

BTW, I use ma'am all the time -- and not just with women older than me. I will use it with clerks or really anyone asking me a question. I have even used it with little girls.

 

[2cats1kid]

I don't like "hun" which seems to have arisen with the internet and gets thrown around too much. But in the north-east of England they are big on their endearments. I remember my 65 year old mother all of a twitter because the taxi driver had called her "flower", so she obviously hadn't taken offence. And the lab tech at my uni would call all the girls "petal" which was cute. So it depends on the circumstances/sincerity.

 

[Mermaid02]

I keep reading the title of this thread as "Insulating Undergarments"

If this (terms of endearment) insults anyone, they are hypersensitive and need to get over it. Unless of course it's dripping with sarcasm- then you just give it back to them.

 

[UKdisneytwinmummy]

In Nottingham England an enderment is to call people "me Duck", I always wanted to reply "quack quack"

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

As long as whoever uses the endearment doesn't sound sarcastic, I'm not worried about the sincerity. Some people just get into the habit of using these terms.

I agree. Delivery is everything.

Although now that I think about it, I'd be more offended if a suit-and-tie business guy called me "sweetheart" than an older Southern woman did it...

One Christmas, my SIL and her hubby/fiance (can't remember which at the time) called each other "Babe." Which would have been fine -- but they did it virtually every single time they addressed each other.

"Babe, would you like some coffee?"
"I would, Babe; thanks."
"How about some sugar, Babe?"
"Sounds good, Babe."

And on and on. My kids were about 8 and 10 at the time (both boys) and they thought it was hilarious. Took months for them to stop calling me Babe! (Just in jest, naturally, and never seriously...they're not fool-hardy kids...)

 

[bigtinklover]

I admit, I was NEVER and am still not an endearment using person, unless it's my DH....However, that said, I am a dispatcher and sometimes I use words like sweetie/sweetheart (children only) and hon...and let me tell you the first time they came out of my mouth, I was astonished!!! I was like WT? ok, just roll with it. I use Ma'am and Sir alot!!! that's just the nature of the biz. AND I don't believe I ever use any of them in a snarky way...I don't find it disrespectful if the cashier at Walmart calls me hon either...