Insulting endearments?

[rie'smom]

Doesn't bother me.

 

[disneykidatheart]

Nope, doesn't really bother me. When I was in a position to serve the public I always used ma'am an sir, especially to older people. Now when I am called ma'am it makes me feel old!

Hubby and I have been going to a new restaurant at least weekly all summer. The waitress (or server if you want to be politically correct) has begun to call me sweetie or hon. I don't mind at all. I think she likes to see us come in and likes to wait on us. (We tip well too). I feel like we are somewhat friends now because sometimes the conversation veers away from our meal to items of our personal lives, both hers and ours. I will take a term of endearment anyday over being addressed as "Youse guys".

 

[LuvOrlando]

It depends on the situation. 99% of the time I'm fine with being called pet names ect. because it's meant to soften an interaction. This is especially true of women, like me, who just prefer to deal with life warmly instead of by force. I use endearments a great deal and take them as verbal smiles when they are directed at me. I think they can have value in team building situations but you have to know your audience.

The only time it's a problem for me is when I KNOW with every fiber of my being, that the person is deliberately using the endearments to minimize me. I've never run into a woman who does this, I think they know better, but I have run into a few old time chauvinists whose intent is unmistakable because they time it with an attempt to either dominate of undermine. These sorts get stopped in their tracks by me, I can be pretty harsh when I want to be and this is a pretty good sign somebody needs to be put into place. Good thing they are as rare as a $2 bill.

 

[MELSMICE]

I admit, I am a hun and sweetie user, but most always towards children. I am a sub and am also involved in my kids activities and my memory for names stinks. So I use sweetie a lot.

I am trying to think if I use it for adults-- I don't think so, other than DH. I am not a sweetie type of person towards adults. I actually use Babe for DH the most.

I had an ex that would call me "Toots". It drove his mother and many of our friends nuts because it just seemed so insulting and demeaning towards me, but it actually had special meaning between us so I loved it.

I don't have a problem with being called hun or sweetheart as long as it is done right. I actually prefer that to "mam"-- that just makes me feel old!

Well, towards children I do use those terms, but that's because sometimes I can't come up with my students names as quick as I would like.

I would never call a parent hun or sweetie. Just seems strange to me.

 

[BELLE1109]

When an older person (70 plus) calls me 'hon' or 'sweetie' it does not bother me. However, when a 16 year old cashier calls me "honey" I find it totally weird and boarding on condescending. Also, in a business setting when a man uses a term of endearment I find it insulting.

 

[Disney Doll]

As a nurse in a fairly large urban hospital, I consider it a really good day if all I get called are hon and sweetie and dear!

In all seriousness, this usually doesn't bother me unless I am called hon by some really smarmy guy who's leering at me, or by someone who is saying it in a condescending fashion. And honestly, I can ALWAYS tell the difference.

My parents are in their 80's and they call people "son" (if it's a man basically under the age of 60) or dear or hon. I hope they don't offend anyone because I am quite sure that their intention is not to be offensive.

My mother's doctor retired so she started with another doctor in the same practice who was about 55 years old at the time. After her 1st visit to him, I asked her how she liked him. She replied "He seems like a nice boy. He was very attentive and really listened". You should have heard him howl with laughter when I told him that! But, you have to understand, my older brother is 53, so their new doctor is essentially the same age as their son.

 

[3TinksAndAnEeyore]

The generic endearments usually don't bother me at all. For me, it's the tone of voice. Usually they are said matter-of-factly, or very nicely, but a snarky sounding "sweetie" is beyond irritating. I use to dislike being addressed as ma'am, but it got less irritating in my mid-thirties and at forty it really doesn't bother me. It's an age thing, I guess!

 

[krcit]

Before I was on the Dis I didn't realize how many things I do that are offensive to others I actually talk to children I don't know, I call people sweetheart and hun and I tell people that they are in my prayers


If people choose to be offended by things I say with a pure heart and good intentions then I choose not to worry about it.

 

[rie'smom]

Before I was on the Dis I didn't realize how many things I do that are offensive to others I actually talk to children I don't know, I call people sweetheart and hun and I tell people that they are in my prayers


If people choose to be offended by things I say with a pure heart and good intentions then I choose not to worry about it.

Boy, howdy, truer words were never posted!

 

[krcit]

Boy, howdy, truer words were never posted!

Thanks sweetie

 

[taylor3297]

Before I was on the Dis I didn't realize how many things I do that are offensive to others I actually talk to children I don't know, I call people sweetheart and hun and I tell people that they are in my prayers


If people choose to be offended by things I say with a pure heart and good intentions then I choose not to worry about it.

Amen to that!

Very few people tell others that they are in their prayers. When someone tells me that, I know that they care.

Now I used to teach middle school and I would answer to my students ma'am and sir out of respect. If I expected respect, then I should show the same. My students always responded with yes ma'am and no ma'am when speaking with myself and the other women on the team.

I admit I say darlin' a lot and to people I don't know. It is my way of being friendly. It was how I was raised, it is what I heard growing up and I am never offended.

Many of my AA friends and their friends use the term baby often. I have never been offended by any of it.

 

[rie'smom]

Thanks sweetie

You're welcome hon!

 

[disykat]

okay then, babydoll.

 

[rie'smom]

okay then, babydoll.

Sugar plum- I'm from the South and have a million of them.

 

[Pakey]

Unless you are going to call me Your Empress, I'd prefer to skip the endearments.

 

[MushyMushy]

Before I was on the Dis I didn't realize how many things I do that are offensive to others I actually talk to children I don't know, I call people sweetheart and hun and I tell people that they are in my prayers


If people choose to be offended by things I say with a pure heart and good intentions then I choose not to worry about it.

I didn't say I was "offended," but why is it so shocking that it might make people uncomfortable? Not everybody was raised to be so intimate or personal with strangers.

 

[rie'smom]

Unless you are going to call me Your Empress, I'd prefer to skip the endearments.

Your Majesty won't cut it?

 

[Pakey]

Your Majesty won't cut it?

No, I've always thought Empress sounded so much better. Majesty is way too common these days.

 

[Minnesota!]

It doesn't bother me in the slightest. There are so many worse things that people could do (or say!)

Before I was on the Dis I didn't realize how many things I do that are offensive to others I actually talk to children I don't know, I call people sweetheart and hun and I tell people that they are in my prayers


If people choose to be offended by things I say with a pure heart and good intentions then I choose not to worry about it.

words are just words. As long as they are sincere...who cares?

I have been called a lot worse...I welcome hon, dear, sweets, etc. from whomever wants to call me that. Much better than what other people have chosen to call me in the past

 

[rie'smom]

No, I've always thought Empress sounded so much better. Majesty is way too common these days.

Ok, Your Majesty