Inspired by threads like... and don't you dare disagree with me.

[cardaway]

"Its a sad day when adults can't control their spending habits so the look to the "government" to help them with their spending. Scary!!"

So how would you feel if this comment was directed at you?

That doesn't look to be directed AT anybody. An addition to the list of what people do too much here... blaming people for things they didn't do.

 

[kdibattista]

If your thread was the only one there wouldn't be a thread about it. It was however a perfect example of taking "only post this" too far IMO.

How did I take it too far?

 

[jbdreamer]

So how would you feel if this comment was directed at you?

Would you feel offended at all? What if they said you shouldn't be eating chicken???? Hmmmm??!!

Yes, with your examples people are trying to start an argument. I am not saying it doesn't happen, but for the most part, on most treads, things get way out of hand for NO reason. People are too sensitive.

 

[cardaway]

I agree. And stop being so sensitive. I find it annoying when someone posts one little criticism or something and someone has a dramatic hissy fit over being "FLAMED".

I don't even take "flamed" seriously anymore, and I don't think I'm the only one. It's become a joke given all the overreactions.

 

[Galahad]

I think the threads that act as mini-boards are fine and should be respected (the thread for Liberals to commiserate or for Christian music discussion). But a thread on a subject of general interest should expect responses of any kind and for the thread to take it's natural direction. I don't think there is any such thing as "hijacking" a general interest thread on the Community board. It's a board for general discussion and actual conversations often take unanticipated directions.

 

[bigmerle1966]

I think in some cases the person just wants support, suggestions or just to vent and doesn't want to start a heated discussion thread. There are lots of threads started about controversial subjects and the first to post will be the ones who say they are getting the popcorn and drinks so they can watch the fireworks.

 

[cardaway]

I think the threads that act as mini-boards are fine and should be respected (the thread for Liberals to commiserate or for Christian music discussion). But a thread on a subject of general interest should expect responses of any kind and for the thread to take it's natural direction. I don't think there is any such thing as "hijacking" a general interest thread on the Community board. It's a board for general discussion and actual conversations often take unanticipated directions.

I forgot the BAC thread, good example of a support thread rather than another GD topic.

 

[Bob Slydell]

So how would you feel if this comment was directed at you?

Its a sad day when adults can't control their spending habits so the look to the "government" to help them with their spending. Scary!!"

Would you feel offended at all? What if they said you shouldn't be eating chicken???? Hmmmm??!!

Just say "that's your opinion and you're entitled to it" and move on. Arguing the point just drags out a fight unnecessarily.

Then again, if you've acknowledged the opinion and the person continues to harp on the topic, it gets annoying as well.

 

[madalynns mom]

I think we all need to remeber that we are all different in so many ways. We're all from different backrounds, different cultures ,ect. People are bound to get offended no matter what you do. I by no means think that people shouldn't give their opinions, that's what makes these boards so fun and interesting! Maybe if we could all lighten up a little bit and not take things so seriously.

Also, keep in mind while you're chatting on boards that your reading what people say. We can't actually see or hear them so it can be hard to tell the tone of someones post! Sometimes I think we forget that!! I think we should all relax a little!!

 

[WIcruizer]

I forgot the BAC thread, good example of a support thread rather than another GD topic.

Ah yes, the BAC thread. I've been accused of flaming before, and then in that thread I became the flamee. Most of the time, bickering starts when someone doesn't carefully read what someone says. People read INTO it instead. Take out of it what they want to see, so they can be offended.

Cardaway is a good example. We disagree 90% of the time it seems. I think we have both said some pretty pointed comments to each other, but neither of u (I don't think) takes it seriously. Everything in here or any forum is opinion. If someone thinks my decisons are stupid, I'm a bad person, bad father, etc. it's THEIR opinion. Folks, don't take every comment in here as life and death!

 

[bicker]

Maybe as a benefit of sponsoring The DIS, the webmasters can enable a feature whereby sponsors can have their own little mini-blog, right here on the boards, where they can post, but no one can post replies (except themselves). That would give folks a place to express the frustrations they encounter in their everyday life, without any concern about what folks will reply (except, perhaps, in their own blog, of course ).

 

[Planogirl]

There's a difference between telling a person "you're wrong!" and saying "have you thought about trying it this way?". "You're wrong" implies that the person is making huge mistakes while the other approach offers suggestions on how best to proceed. It's just a kinder, gentler way of offering advise and I suspect that more people will listen to the second post than the first.

 

[Planogirl]

Maybe as a benefit of sponsoring The DIS, the webmasters can enable a feature whereby sponsors can have their own little mini-blog, right here on the boards, where they can post, but no one can post replies (except themselves). That would give folks a place to express the frustrations they encounter in their everyday life, without any concern about what folks will reply (except, perhaps, in their own blog, of course ).

But I want to tell them why they're wrong.

Maybe everyone could get their own blogs and we could all snipe at each other in those.

 

[bicker]

That's a good point, PG, but even beyond that, there is a vast spectrum of different perspectives between "you're wrong" and "have you thought about trying it this way?" -- sometimes all folks are saying is, "I believe xxxx" without any specific intent with regard to whether it is in agreement or disagreement with what was said previously.

 

[bicker]

Maybe everyone could get their own blogs and we could all snipe at each other in those.

I wasn't joking PG -- I think this is a really good idea. Don't you??? Does anyone else think this is worth mentioning to Pete, Alex and the rest?

 

[cardaway]

Ah yes, the BAC thread. I've been accused of flaming before, and then in that thread I became the flamee. Most of the time, bickering starts when someone doesn't carefully read what someone says. People read INTO it instead. Take out of it what they want to see, so they can be offended.

IMO the issue seen on the BAC thread is people are posting pretty hurtful and judgemental things about others knowing that people cannot respond or they will be called "bashers". If it was kept to support it wouldn't be an issue.

Cardaway is a good example. We disagree 90% of the time it seems. I think we have both said some pretty pointed comments to each other, but neither of u (I don't think) takes it seriously. Everything in here or any forum is opinion. If someone thinks my decisons are stupid, I'm a bad person, bad father, etc. it's THEIR opinion. Folks, don't take every comment in here as life and death!

I can't say I don't get upset, and I assume you are serious about what you post, but I carry few grudges.

 

[Feralpeg]

"Its a sad day when adults can't control their spending habits so the look to the "government" to help them with their spending. Scary!!"




That doesn't look to be directed AT anybody. An addition to the list of what people do too much here... blaming people for things they didn't do.

I took this to be aimed at those of us who chose to claim lesser deductions so that we could get a larger return back.

It didn't offend me. You have a right to think what you want, but it is my money and I'll do with it what I want. I really don't care what anyone else thinks about what I do.

IMHO, people are very judgemental. Don't get me wrong. I have a lot of opinions, but I try to keep most of them to myself. (This being an exception.) I don't feel it is my place to judge what other people do. If they want to build a bonfire in their yard to burn up all of their cash and then run their credit cards up to the max, it is none of my business. I might privately think it is nuts, but I will not tell them that.

Unless someone asks for advice, I will not give it. I will answer questions. I may even ask for advice (although not often because I know what will happen). I will not be the judge and jury concerning the way another person lives their life.

 

[phorsenuf]

Originally Posted by cardaway Sorry, call it a flame if you want, but that's one of the most silly things anybody could do with their money. It would be irresponsible not to say so.

Originally Posted by somebody( )
"Its a sad day when adults can't control their spending habits so the look to the "government" to help them with their spending. Scary!!"

See, now this is a perfect example. You posted this on a thread about how people were going to spend their tax refunds. It was requested by the OP that (paraphrasing here) we didn't want lectures about giving the government interest free loans. We are all aware that is what we are doing, but we don't care. Yet you felt the need to bust in and tell us that anyways and make the above comment. That thread is started out nicely (it was neat to see people excited about how they were going to spend their money) and now its basically dead because nobody wants to be lectured to.
In that instance I think it was wrong what you did. Nobody was asking for opinions yet you felt the need to give yours and tear us down instead.
What was the purpose of that? Why did you feel you needed to do that?

 

[Planogirl]

I wasn't joking PG -- I think this is a really good idea. Don't you??? Does anyone else think this is worth mentioning to Pete, Alex and the rest?

Having blogs is a great idea. BUT, I believe that many people would still be rude and nothing would be accomplished as far as doing anything about people's hurt feelings. I think that people would post something in their blogs and other people would comment about those posts in their blogs and the OP's would read THOSE later blogs and still end up hurt. The idea of a roundabout way of still insulting DISers is the thought I laughed at.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

ETA: I have nothing against vegetarians, you just happened to be my example...

Good thing you put that one in there--I was going to attack you since I'm vegetarian!

As far as your example, I agree. I wouldn't read a thread about chicken recipes, but might if you were asking a "love it or hate it" thread. I'm amazed at the threads about something vegetarian (not an opinion thing about people thoughts about people being vegetarian) and people get on and slam vegetarians. Like me with chicken recipes...why read it if you're not vegetarian or at least supportive of vegetarians?

I can understand someone needing support and not wanted to be slammed and I can offer that, but I'm also amazed at the threads asking for opinions and then the original poster gets upset because people are disagreeing with his/her opinion. Don't ask for advice if you can't take differing opinions.

On the flip side, sometimes I see posters venting about something--not asking for advice, but venting. And people post nasty things. I can understand not reading "vent" threads, but don't read and then offer advice when advice wasn't asked for.