Inspired by being a thread highjacker- the OT thread!

[beckmrk04]

I can do it...I just can't talk about it.
If this weren't internet, I wouldn't even be talking to you now!

MW- you're killing me!! I think everyone should be talking about it- in an age appropriate manner, of course, and probably not loudly over dinner at, say, Applebees- although, I've been known to do that too.

Well, new best friend, I talk about sex constantly and unabashedly. SEX is not a 4 letter word, in my book!

Plus, before I quit, I was the volunteer coordinator for a sexual assault program in MO- and my JOB was to talk about sex all day long. I went to colleges and gave rape education classes, and the buliding I worked in was also a women's residential drug rehab, and so I gave classes to them on sexuality, healthy relationships, etc. Sometimes it made me so sad when women would ask me questions that to ME were so obvious- like, "Is it rape if I am asleep and someone has sex with me?" It never failed to stun me how many women didn't know that yeah- if you are sleeping and someone has sex with you without your knowledge/permission, it is rape.

I want people to have healthy ENJOYABLE sex lives. ANd I think kids really will make good decisions with good information. We would never give them a car and then say, "Figure out how to drive it on your own."

 

[beckmrk04]

Random...........

That's the point!! It's kinda like Wonderland here in the OT thread.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

like, "Is it rape if I am asleep and someone has sex with me?" It never failed to stun me how many women didn't know that yeah- if you are sleeping and someone has sex with you without your knowledge/permission, it is rape.

Printing this out and passing it along to someone special who happens to be out of town at the moment!

I want people to have healthy ENJOYABLE sex lives.."

I am living proof that you can enjoy it and not talk about it.


But I'm hearing you here. If my high-school health teacher had talked to me about my sexuality, I think I would have passed out on the spot...but that's just me.

 

[beckmrk04]

Oh yeah- people can have enjoyable sex lives and not talk about it. Absolutely. I just get concerned when some people don't speak up when their sex lives aren't enjoyable, and just by talking they could fix it, but instead, they let it infect their relationship. That's what makes me sad, you know? It ends up becoming a toxic issue in their marriage/relationship- when really, all they would have to do is communicate.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

You really must share some of the interesting stuff you've learned!

 

[beckmrk04]

Let's see. Today, I read a LOT of statistics, really. But, this was interesting to me:

1. The teen pregnancy rate has declined in the US in the last decade; however, it is still 9 times higher than that of the Netherlands (proportionally), nearly 5 times higher than in Germany, and nearly 4 times higher than in France.

2. The teen birth rate is also nearly 11 times higher than the Netherlands, 5 times higher than in France, and nearly 4 times higher than in Germany.

3. The teen abortion rate in the US is: nearly 8 times higher than in Germany, 7 times higher than the Netherlands, and 3 times higher than in France (where abortions are free as part of their health care).

 

[beckmrk04]

Oh, and we also lead the pack in STD's. Go USA.

 

[beckmrk04]

Other interesting stuff I have learned. Mostly concerns rape myths.

1. 1 in 4 women in the US will be the victim of rape. And actually, the estimates are that only 1 in 3 rapes even gets reported. So, really, that first figure could be much higher.

2. 85% of rape victims know their attacker. I think this is the biggest shock for most people to learn. When most people think of rape, they think of being attacked at night in a dark alley- that's just not the case.

3. You cannot consent to sex if you are passed out drunk. Or asleep.

4. "No" really DOES mean "no." Period. The end.

 

[ashjohnson80]

that's scary.

 

[beckmrk04]

that's scary.

I know. I had to quit my job at the assualt center (which killed me... ) because I loved that job and I loved the work, but it became too overwhelming and stressfull- plus I was on call 24/7. We had volunteers that went to the ER for rape/sexual assault cases- but if a volunteer didn't sign up/show up, I was on call, which turned out to be a lot.

And I knew I couldn't keep up that pace and try to have a family, too. But I'm still sad about it.

So, now I'm trying to figure out what else I can do.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I was thinking less along the lines of horrible, depressing, and/or violent stuff and more along the lines of interesting factoids or statistics that a regular married person (albeit of the "don't talk about it" variety) might like to know.

I'm thinking lecturer. You could go to college campuses and talk about this stuff. You might do a lot of good. Or do you have to work for the constantly-on-call place to do that?

 

[ashjohnson80]

My good friend always talks about sex when she gets drunk. One night she brought out her karma sutra book and starting showing my DH some things we should try. hehehe

 

[beckmrk04]

I was thinking less along the lines of horrible, depressing, and/or violent stuff and more along the lines of interesting factoids or statistics that a regular married person (albeit of the "don't talk about it" variety) might like to know.

I'm thinking lecturer. You could go to college campuses and talk about this stuff. You might do a lot of good. Or do you have to work for the constantly-on-call place to do that?

Sorry- just been reading the depressing stuff today, so that's what was on the brain.

Actually, I am going to apply at a place to do just lectures (before I was volunteer coordinator and community educator- which really should have been two people's jobs). I don't know- we'll see.

Hmmmm... interesting factoids or statistics... Let me think. I'm sure I can come up with plenty. DIS-friendliness may be an issue. Plus, so many words, even medical terms get bleeped out. I'll think about it though. I promise my next factoid post will be much more fun and less depressing.

 

[beckmrk04]

My good friend always talks about sex when she gets drunk. One night she brought out her karma sutra book and starting showing my DH some things we should try. hehehe

See, this sounds like me. Only I don't need to be drunk. In fact, the weekend of my bridal shower/bachelorette party, I hosted a, hmmmm, how to put this in DIS-friendly terms, "romantic accessory" party for all of my girlfriends. We had about 15 girls there- it was a total blast. And, since my apt. wasn't big enough, one of my bridesmaids offered to have it at her house (she lived at home), and her mom (Patty) was the best customer!! I got tons of free.. accessories.

 

[ashjohnson80]

See, this sounds like me. Only I don't need to be drunk. In fact, the weekend of my bridal shower/bachelorette party, I hosted a, hmmmm, how to put this in DIS-friendly terms, "romantic accessory" party for all of my girlfriends. We had about 15 girls there- it was a total blast. And, since my apt. wasn't big enough, one of my bridesmaids offered to have it at her house (she lived at home), and her mom (Patty) was the best customer!! I got tons of free.. accessories.

Pure Romance, perhaps??? Me and my friend are about to have one of those !

 

[beckmrk04]

Pure Romance, perhaps??? Me and my friend are about to have one of those !

Not Pure Romance, "Spice it Up"... But the same thing. So much fun. In fact, I'll probably host another now that I have my house.

 

[ashjohnson80]

Not Pure Romance, "Spice it Up"... But the same thing. So much fun. In fact, I'll probably host another now that I have my house.

Spice it Up, sounds dirtier, lol. But I'm sure it isn't. I do know that I definately will NOT be inviting my mom. She's way too conservative.

 

[beckmrk04]

Spice it Up, sounds dirtier, lol. But I'm sure it isn't. I do know that I definately will NOT be inviting my mom. She's way too conservative.

I've seen the Pure Romance catalog, and Spice it Up is slightly dirtier. But not terribly much.

I didn't invite my mom because she would have been all into it.

I didn't mind my friend's mom being there. But my mom buying stuff, or seeing me buy stuff, just a little too weird.

 

[ashjohnson80]

Yes, moms and sex talk definately don't mix.

Well I'm off to bed, I have to work tomorrow. But hopefully it will be the last weekend. See ya later!

 

[Stacerita]

Someone's having a naughty lady party? Am I invited????