Inspired by another thread - 4 hrs between wedding and reception

[Buckalew11]

I can't imagine.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I am surprised by all of the comments about these gaps being at Catholic weddings. My husband is from a large Catholic family and at least half of the weddings I have attended over the years have been Catholic--and I have never seen a gap like thise Generally all of the guests go straight to the reception where there are (at the minimum) light snacks and drinks. I recall only once where that rime drug out-it was my sister in law's wedding and she had lots of outdoor photos taken before coming to the reception and did all the photos after the mass, it took about 2 hours--people were getting antsy waiting. There were however drinks an snacks and music on CD being played (the band played after dinner).
Anyway, in the 25 or so Catholic weddings I have been to there has never been this gap. These were mostly in Colorado and Iowa if that makes any difference

And that's why Catholics traditionally marry on Friday night if they want an evening dinner reception. My wedding, like every other one in my large RC family, was at 7 pm on a Friday, with the reception immediately following. It was a 10 minute drive between the church and the reception venue, and the reception ended up starting at 8:15.

If you are Catholic and want to get married on Saturday, the traditional thing to do is to have a mid-afternoon light-food reception. It is unwillingness to go with Friday that is causing these weird gap-in-the-middle situations.

We did the Saturday mid afternoon thing. I never even thought to try to have an night time event--I preferred a tea style reception. I knew lots of people had early flights out the next morning and did want to keep anyone up too late if they did not want to be.
I do not remember which day various weddings were on but I think we have had several on Friday evening in the family as well as a couple of longer Saturday receptions where the mass was late afternoon and then the reception started immediately after but dinner was not served for a couple of hours.

I've never heard of this, and why can't they just schedule a different date?? So June 19th doesn't have anything available....pick a different day.

No way would I be waiting 4 hours between a ceremony and a reception, and it's rude to make your guests wait that long.

I have to say I agree with this (though maybe if it is tradition in some areas it is views differently there). I have never gotten the whole "it is the bride's day" mentality. The bride and groom are hosts and need to think about their guest's comfort.

My wedding was at 12:30 (full Catholic Mass) Reception was 5-11.

From ~1:30 to 4, while we did pictures and such, the guests were invited back to my parents home for food and drink. My family lives all over the USA, and it was the first time in a long time that we were all together. The time at my parents flew quickly.

Children were invited to the church and back to the house, then sitters/older cousins took over so the parents could go to the adult only reception.

Party at my parents house resumed the next morning!

That is how all weddings in our family are done.

I think this is a lovely idea--and you took care of your guests the entire time

 

[aprilgail2]

DH and I are Catholic and come from Catholic families. The tradition you're speaking of sounds regional; I've never been to a Friday wedding for anyone in my family or circle of friends.
!

I know a few people who have had weddings on a Friday night but it was mostly to save money- catering halls are cheaper that day. I generally skip the wedding and just go to the reception though for a friday wedding- I am not taking off work for a wedding unless its my own kids.
Typically if there is a large gap then the out of town guests go back to either the mother of the bride or the mother of the grooms house...for my neighbors sons wedding this year they are coming back to her house to hang out until the reception. Typically if there is a large gap I will skip the wedding and just go to the rehearsal. My favortie weddings are the ones that actually get married in the catering hall chapel- no one has to get back in their car and go anyplace and there is no lag time between the wedding and reception!

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

DH was best man in a wedding last year. I was 8 hours away from us andat a place we had never been before. There was a 3 hour break between the wedding and the reception about half of which was photos at a seperate location (church photos, then beach photos, then an hour and a half or so break before we had to meet back for reception location photos.) For some reason the bride had only her family, her best friend and her and the groom in the limo, which meant the rest of the wedding party, which were all out of towners BTW, had to find our own way. They went driving and then to her parents for a break so DH and I drove to and waited an hour and a half at the reception site along with many of the other out of towners. They hotel that she picked for us was a good half hour away and we didn't think it was worth it to drive back and come right back, and the little town had absolutely nothing and we didn't want to venture off and get lost.

It was kind of annoying. The good part was that I was worried I was going to have to drive alone thinking DH wold be in the limo, but while we thought it was kind of rude the way she handled things, especially since it was a good distance away from home for all of his side of the family and friends, at least we were together.

I get why they might need the gap, but I really think it stinks for the guests.

 

[tiggger1]

That's not typical of Catholic weddings around here. Most of them are on Saturday afternoon with an evening reception.

Same here! It must be a regional thing!

 

[Mkrop]

And that's why Catholics traditionally marry on Friday night if they want an evening dinner reception. My wedding, like every other one in my large RC family, was at 7 pm on a Friday, with the reception immediately following. It was a 10 minute drive between the church and the reception venue, and the reception ended up starting at 8:15.

If you are Catholic and want to get married on Saturday, the traditional thing to do is to have a mid-afternoon light-food reception. It is unwillingness to go with Friday that is causing these weird gap-in-the-middle situations.

I have only been to one Friday night wedding and it was because the bride and groom wanted to save money on the reception.

Respectfully, Friday night receptions here are very uncommon because it is very difficult to make the wedding from work. Even if there is a Friday night reception, the ceremony still is in the afternoon. I have never heard of a Catholic ceremony being held at night...but I am also not an expert, just stating my experiences.

Another Catholic here who has not been to any Friday weddings. My son is an altar server who does weddings and although there are some Fridays the majority are still on Sat, some two a day Noon and 2pm.

Mine was at 2, but we also had it in a hotel guests could go have a break, or go to the bar but then cocktail started at 4 or 4:30 if I remember correctly.

We have always just dealt with it, if we know in advance we come up with a game plan. Alhtough we have never been held up for too long either

 

[sharbear]

I must only go to Catholic weddings lol! Usually there is a gap between the wedding and the reception unless the reception is at the same location as the wedding or in the church basement. Only one wedding that I can remember had a 3rd place for a cocktail hour between mass and the reception. I don't remember that we went, it was in an out of the way location and we just hung out with people we knew.

I've been to Friday night weddings also. The worst wedding I went to was on a Friday. The bride had the mass and then the reception but they took pictures between the events. When the party finally showed up to the reception they had a slide show. We didn't have dinner until 10pm! We had all gone to work that day and were so hungry. I remember being so happy to have bread on the table finally! We got really drunk also, it was a long time to wait to eat.

I've also been to Jewish weddings which can't start until sundown on Sat. It's impossible to get married in the summer on a Saturday so it's in the winter or on Sunday. Really weird to go to a Sunday wedding and then know you have to get up to go to work the next day.

We have a wedding in a couple of weeks. There is a 3 hour break inbetween the wedding and the reception. I don't think there is anything planned for the break. I was planning on making my H take me to Target! He'll sit in the car and do puzzles or something. Yea, we are exciting!

 

[Bren's Mom]

My wedding was at 12:30 (full Catholic Mass) Reception was 5-11.

From ~1:30 to 4, while we did pictures and such, the guests were invited back to my parents home for food and drink. My family lives all over the USA, and it was the first time in a long time that we were all together. The time at my parents flew quickly.

Children were invited to the church and back to the house, then sitters/older cousins took over so the parents could go to the adult only reception.

Party at my parents house resumed the next morning!

That is how all weddings in our family are done.

What you did is consider and accomodate your guests!

Had you just said 'Oh well, they can suck it up and find something to do.'...then we would be complaining about you as well. LOL

 

[Minnesota!]

And that's why Catholics traditionally marry on Friday night if they want an evening dinner reception. My wedding, like every other one in my large RC family, was at 7 pm on a Friday, with the reception immediately following. It was a 10 minute drive between the church and the reception venue, and the reception ended up starting at 8:15.

If you are Catholic and want to get married on Saturday, the traditional thing to do is to have a mid-afternoon light-food reception. It is unwillingness to go with Friday that is causing these weird gap-in-the-middle situations.

Never ever heard of this. I am RC...and have been to 30+ weddings in my 32 years. Most of them RC. All are on Saturdays...starting at around 2. Reception starts at 5 or 6. Never a big deal and it's expected...


For my wedding, we did the 2pm mass, then our cocktail hour started at 5 about 20 minutes away from the church. So, there were about 2 hours people needed to kill between mass and reception. Never ever would it have crossed my mind that it was rude or unexpected....

 

[Jeafl]

We had a Saturday wedding too, 3:00 full Catholic mass, then invited everyone back to my parents' house for drinks and hors d'oeuvres before the reception. We got married in June so everyone was able to be outside. Our reception started at 6:00.

We made a concerted effort to get most pictures done BEFORE the ceremony so that we could enjoy our guests in between the ceremony and the reception. The only pictures we didn't do beforehand were the ones of me and my husband, because I didn't want him to see my dress until I walked down the aisle. It worked out perfectly because everyone got to visit more casually.

There was plenty of food and drinks at my parents' house, and then we had another cocktail hour as soon as we got to the reception, as well as a full sit-down dinner. We also had a 6-hour open bar. At around 10:00 pm we had a 20-foot sweet table laid out too. If anyone was hungry or thirsty after our wedding it was their own fault!

 

[RebeccaB]

wait, I think I can beat the 4 hour delay...how about 6 months? Family member gets married in Feb, and now having "reception" in August. Plus, none of us were invited to the wedding (for that matter, even TOLD about it). Also, we're all sposed to bring our own food to the reception. Weeeeeeird. Honestly, who has a reception 6 months after the wedding? Ah well, life would be totally boring if we all were the same.

 

[Pigeon]

I was raised RC and most of my gigantic family is RC. I've been to tons of weddings, mostly RC, and none of them were on a Friday.

Mostly they are done around 3pm in the church. By the time the church is done, with the ditzing around afterward, it's around 4:30. The receptions usually start around 5pm, and it often takes half an hour or so to get to the reception.

If faced with an invitation with a huge gap for an out of town wedding, we'll skip either the church or the reception.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Wow, most of our guests were having a fit because we had 30 minutes between ceremony and us arriving downstairs at the reception in the church hall, because we were taking a few last minute pictures, because I didn't want DH to see me before the ceremony. All of the food was available to them, with the exception of the cakes.

But, then again, I have never been to a wedding with anything other than finger foods for the reception.

Even the 1 Catholic wedding we went to was on a Saturday afternoon and guests immediately went next door to the church hall for the reception.

Suzanne

 

[Mkrop]

wait, I think I can beat the 4 hour delay...how about 6 months? Family member gets married in Feb, and now having "reception" in August. Plus, none of us were invited to the wedding (for that matter, even TOLD about it). Also, we're all sposed to bring our own food to the reception. Weeeeeeird. Honestly, who has a reception 6 months after the wedding? Ah well, life would be totally boring if we all were the same.

So what? My cousin just got married bc he may be deployed again. Eveyone in the family wants them to have the big party. For us it is a great excuse to have everyone from far away to get together. On FB all my relatives congratulated them and said we need to have a big reception when he gets back!

 

[Belle0101]

wait, I think I can beat the 4 hour delay...how about 6 months? Family member gets married in Feb, and now having "reception" in August. Plus, none of us were invited to the wedding (for that matter, even TOLD about it). Also, we're all sposed to bring our own food to the reception. Weeeeeeird. Honestly, who has a reception 6 months after the wedding? Ah well, life would be totally boring if we all were the same.

That sounds like what our family would call a cookout. If you weren't told about the wedding and have to bring your own food ... are you expected to bring a gift too? Weird.

So what? My cousin just got married bc he may be deployed again. Eveyone in the family wants them to have the big party. For us it is a great excuse to have everyone from far away to get together. On FB all my relatives congratulated them and said we need to have a big reception when he gets back!

I can understand it in this case. Facing a possible deployment, well I'd want to have at least a quick ceremony and then really let loose with a party / reception when my DH got back.

 

[gina2000]

I think the big gap between weddings and receptions stem from if and when the church has Saturday services. Many Catholic churches have 5 or 5:30 masses on Saturday evening and won't perform a marriage ceremony past about 3pm on that day. Hence the gap.

We usually dress respectfully but casually for the service and go home to get ready for the evening reception. I know that's not possible if there is distance involved but when the service is close by, it's a life saver.

Never been to a Friday night service in my life, btw. I think weeknight weddings are popular in NYC and not limited to a certain faith.

 

[Claudia1]

Very interesting!

In our area, the wedding is the big deal and you don't go to the reception unless you go to the wedding (or had to work, etc....) No big gaps, either. We are in a primarily Protestant community but the receptions are often outside of the church.

Just curious about this, though. If you are a friend or co-worker but not close to the family, you don't get invited to the parent's house inbetween? Or is that a case when you just go to the ceremony?

 

[RayaniFoxmur]

This is actually why we chose the venue that we did. Historical hall with a beautiful chapel on the second floor and gorgeous ballrooms on the first. We both find it very rude to have the large gap, so our reception was immediately following the ceremony downstairs in one of the bigger ballrooms.

We did all our pictures beforehand (did a reveal ceremony just my husband and I, it was very moving!) and even cut our cake as soon as we got downstairs so that people could get cake immediately following their meal.

It was a rarity, and a lot of people were grateful. It sucks to just sit around and do nothing for hours on end.

 

[Pigeon]

Just curious about this, though. If you are a friend or co-worker but not close to the family, you don't get invited to the parent's house inbetween? Or is that a case when you just go to the ceremony?

I think inviting people to the parent's house inbetween is the exception, not the rule in general. Most of the weddings I go to have well over 100 people invited. I'm not sure it's practical to invite 100 people over to hang out on what is already a busy, stressful day.

 

[Inigo]

For me, I would consider it rude to have a huge (more than 1 hour not counting travel time between sites) gap between the ceremony and the reception.

I would also consider it rude to go to the reception and not the ceremony. If I couldn't make the ceremony, I'd send my regrets instead of going just to the reception. I just think the ceremony is the important part.