Insp. By The Hillary Thread, The Cheating Factor...

[Fitswimmer]

Hilary Clinton was damned no matter how she handled that situation. She stayed with him and as a result people are complaining that she has no dignity since she stayed with a cheater. Had she left people would have said she had no loyalty and that it was wrong to not fight for her marriage. That was most definitely a no-win situation.

My take on it? I don't have a take on it. I don't care what happens in her private life. I don't care who she or her husband sleep with, what God (if any) she prays to, or how much cash she has in her bank account. All that matters to me is her credentials for running the country. I don't find her to be overwhelmingly likable, but I definitely think she is qualified. Personally, I hope she runs with Obama; he'll add the charisma and charm and the ability to relate to people while she'll have the experience and knowledge to run the country (and train up Obama so he can run in eight years!).

Would I have handled it differently? Oh, yes-his clothes would have been out the window and the locks would have been changed-too bad if he was President, I'm sure Al would have made room for him on the couch for a few days. There is no way he would have humiliated me and my child like that and not paid for it just as publically. Would I have taken him back after sufficient contrition-probably.

I've said for a LONG time that they both handled it badly. He lied to a Grand Jury, and that is just plain wrong no matter what you're lying about. If I had been advising them, I would have said when it all first broke-ADMIT IT. Come clean, show lots of contrition, embarassment on his part and a little anger on hers. Then, do your reconciliation dance and the country will fall all over you.

However, when it comes to handling things badly, I'll take that mess over the mess we're in now. Seeing what's been going on the last few years actually makes me long for the days when all we were worried about was a sex scandal.

 

[kinntj]

I think it's far too easy for women to say they'd throw their husband out if he cheated, but it's kind of a different thing altogether when it actually happens.

You don't know how you're going to react until it happens to you.

That's so true. When everything was happening with Monica, I was like why is she still with that scumbag?. Arggghhh! Then after she stayed with him awhile and it looked like they got THEIR life back together again, I started to realize that everyone handles this differently.

I'm not sure what I would do in that case. I would hope that if there were still feelings deep down that we could work it out with therapy. I just don't feel like her giving up would be the answer either.

She's a strong lady and I admire her for that whatever her reasons may be. They are at an age where they can make their own decisions and if they are happy with the way things are, who am I to judge.

 

[Galahad]

I haven't read the thread but:

1) If my wife cheated, I would not stay, I don't think. At this stage I'm pretty certain I'll never have to find out... BUT

2) If have read from enough sources that I am persuaded that it's true that Senator Clinton is probably the most genuinely religious of all of the candidates. If that is true, then working out her marriage difficulties may more likely be for reasons that are not political or for ulterior motives.

Demonizing these folks has gotten really old in the extreme. She is not my candidate of choice, but begrudging her the high road in all aspects of her life is pretty small, IMO.

 

[Heidict]

I think she is the best choice we have. But without the woman in this country behind her she will not get elected.

I'm not voting for someone just because she happens to be the same gender as me. Voting based on gender or race has to be one of the stupidist ways to vote POTUS. We should all be voting for who we think is the best candidate and who we feel will run this country the best.

This is POTUS we are talking about here, not class president.



In regards to the OP.
She put on a strong public face during her husbands affair and the subsequent backlash. I’m sure though, behind closed doors; there were many tears shed and many arguments. To have to endure the pain of finding out your husband has been cheating on you is difficult enough, but to have to have it talked about, joked about and described in detail must have been unbearable. She held up a lot better then I would have in that situation.

I don’t fault her for her public reaction to the situation. She may have been doing everything she could to hold it together publicly so as not to breakdown in front of the cameras. If she had, it would have been plastered on every magazine, newspaper and tv show.

I also don’t fault her for staying with her husband. No one can know the true inter workings of someone else’s marriage. I don’t know why she stayed, none of us really do. Maybe she truly loved him and didn’t want to lose him and was willing to put up with is indiscretions. Maybe she forgave him and was willing to move on and do everything she could to save the marriage. Maybe she had her eye on a political future and felt it would be more easily achieved if she was still married to him. Heck, for all we know they may have an open marriage.

 

[Christine]

No one truly knows what goes on in someone's marriage, that's why I cannot judge her decision to stay or to villify her for it.

For all we know, old Bill could have been cheating for years to her full knowledge and maybe she just doesn't mind it? Some people have those types of marriages. Just because you don't doesn't mean their way is wrong if it works for them.

My suspicion is that she know Bill's got a bit of a wandering eye and she has managed to overlook it. She is probably mostly pissed that he was just so stupid it about it and they had to deal with the fallout.

 

[Christine]

I'm not voting for someone just because she happens to be the same gender as me. Voting based on gender or race has to be one of the stupidist ways to vote POTUS. We should all be voting for who we think is the best candidate and who we feel will run this country the best.

This POTUS we are talking about here, not class president.

I don't think MAKmom meant that women should all vote for Hillary because she's a woman also. I think she meant that the women in this country are so narrow-minded when it comes to her and how she handled Bill's affair that they won't vote for her just based on that alone.

I have one woman in my office that is SOOOO rabid against her it is almost scary. She complains about Hillary's new healthcare approach, yet she refuses to even read one word of what it says. She will tell you for hours how bad it is though.

In the same breath, she is complaining about what his being done to her government salary (Pay for Performance). Bitter as all get out about it. When we remind her that it is a "Bush Backed Plan" she refuses to admit it.

Man, the blinders some people wear. But, she is one of the "women in this country" who won't even LISTEN to Hillary's plans.

 

[NMAmy]

I think it's far too easy for women to say they'd throw their husband out if he cheated, but it's kind of a different thing altogether when it actually happens.

You don't know how you're going to react until it happens to you.

I was in the situation and I did throw out my ex. So, I do know how I'd react.

However, I would never dream of judging anyone else for the choices they would make in the same situation. Everyone is different.

I think judging Hillary on this issue is just ridiculous. She did what worked for her. If she'd left him, then she would have been touted as someone who didn't believe in the value of marriage and family and just threw it away. I'm always surprised that conservatives bring up THIS issue as some kind of character flaw.

 

[punkin]

I'm always surprised that conservatives bring up THIS issue as some kind of character flaw.

Well, since all but one of the Republican candidates is divorced and remarried (multiple times in Guiliani's case) what else does the "family values party" have to latch on to.

 

[JunieJay]

From personal experience: there are many reasons to stay with a cheating spouse. Political calculation may be one of them, but it surely is not the only one. How about: she loves him, they have a child, they have shared interests, they have commingled finances, she truly thinks he's sorry and will not do it again. There may be others but I do not know the couple so can only speculate (like everyone else on this thread).

As far as politics, she spent her entire youth working behind the scenes so Bill could be president, now it is her turn. Why should she give up her dreams just because he couldn't keep it in his pants?

I applaud her for making a calm and reasoned decision, not one based on anger and emotion. This is precisely the kind of thought processes I want from anyone in the White House.

Hurrah. Great post!

 

[Pigeon]

Totally missed the word bully

Heavens, there go those vapors again. A woman in the White House being assertive. Civilization as we know it may end. I'm sure there's never been an assertive man in the White House.

 

[kinntj]

Heavens, there go those vapors again. A woman in the White House being assertive. Civilization as we know it may end. I'm sure there's never been an assertive man in the White House.

Nope, never...not within the past 6 + years right?
Talk about assertive and stubborn.

 

[JunieJay]

II have one woman in my office that is SOOOO rabid against her it is almost scary. She complains about Hillary's new healthcare approach, yet she refuses to even read one word of what it says. She will tell you for hours how bad it is though.

It is scary how much people hate her. Its one of the reasons she is not my first choice for POTUS. As much as I personally like her, she is polarizing to the point where I don't think we have even seen before. I can imagine her run for President will guarantee the ugliest most vitriolic craziness in history.

 

[Pigeon]

Of course I should ask how many people hated Jackie O for staying with her DH... oh wait that was different somehow

Just like it was somehow different for Eleanor Roosevelt, Mamie Eisenhower, Ladybird Johnson, etc., etc.

 

[JunieJay]

Just like it was somehow different for Eleanor Roosevelt, Mamie Eisenhower, Ladybird Johnson, etc., etc.

Well yeah, the difference is those ladies didn't get have to endure the country spending millions of dollars going through their husband's underwear drawer.

 

[connorlevismom]

I don't think MAKmom meant that women should all vote for Hillary because she's a woman also. I think she meant that the women in this country are so narrow-minded when it comes to her and how she handled Bill's affair that they won't vote for her just based on that alone.

.

Well, I am a woman and I am not voting for her. My not voting for her has absolutely NOTHING to do with her personal life. I think she is misleading this country into believing she is more moderate than she is to get votes, I think that her views on how the world should be are just ridiculous, and I don't trust her. Does that make me narrow-minded? To generalize women because they don't want to vote for her is just plain rude.

It is scary how much people hate her. .

Well don't you wonder WHY all these people have such strong feelings towards her? There must be a reason and I am sure that they are not all because she is a woman. In your real lives if most of the people you knew felt that someone was completely vile, would you not wonder why? I know I would.

Kristine

 

[Christine]

Well, I am a woman and I am not voting for her. My not voting for her has absolutely NOTHING to do with her personal life. I think she is misleading this country into believing she is more moderate than she is to get votes, I think that her views on how the world should be are just ridiculous, and I don't trust her. Does that make me narrow-minded? To generalize women because they don't want to vote for her is just plain rude.

No, it doesn't seem that you are narrow minded and I don't think the other poster was referring to people who have well thought out opinions on the matter. And *I* didn't generalize women because they don't want to vote for her. I was trying to clear up what I thought another poster meant. That said, I do believe that there are always going to be a group of people who will vote based on gender. But I don't believe that this applies to all of the gender.

 

[JunieJay]

Well don't you wonder WHY all these people have such strong feelings towards her? There must be a reason and I am sure that they are not all because she is a woman. In your real lives if most of the people you knew felt that someone was completely vile, would you not wonder why? I know I would.

Kristine

I personally cannot figure out why anyone would find Senator Clinton "completely vile". Seems a bit over the top to me. I can understand if her views don't resonate with your own, but she brings forth a lot of unnecessary hysteria, imo. She's right up there with Rosie O'Donnell in the most hated woman category, at least if the DIS boards are any indication. I think the reason why many people hate her is because they feel threatened by strong and assertive women, she is not demure and she doesn't show emotion and for many that is seen as a threat. As far as my real life I know no one who despises Hilary Clinton (including my husband, who also happen to work with the Clintons and had no complaints) although I do know plenty who will not vote for her simply because she isn't their chosen candidate. It has more to do with personal political philosophies and less to do with her being vile.

 

[connorlevismom]

I personally cannot figure out why anyone would find Senator Clinton "completely vile". Seems a bit over the top to me. I can understand if her views don't resonate with your own, but she brings forth a lot of unnecessary hysteria, imo. She's right up there with Rosie O'Donnell in the most hated woman category, at least if the DIS boards are any indication. I think the reason why many people hate her is because they feel threatened by strong and assertive women, she is not demure and she doesn't show emotion and for many that is seen as a threat. As far as my real life I know no one who despises Hilary Clinton (including my husband, who also happen to work with the Clintons and had no complaints) although I do know plenty who will not vote for her simply because she isn't their chosen candidate. It has more to do with personal political philosophies and less to do with her being vile.

Ok, I will admit that "vile" was a little over the top.

But my point still stands. I would wonder about someone if most people dis-liked them.

Kristine

 

[Christine]

As far as my real life I know no one who despises Hilary Clinton (including my husband, who also happen to work with the Clintons and had no complaints) although I do know plenty who will not vote for her simply because she isn't their chosen candidate. It has more to do with personal political philosophies and less to do with her being vile.

As I said upthread, I have the pleasure of knowing one of those people who think she is vile. This woman is violent about her. The funny thing is she doesn't know why. She refuses to read anything about her, doesn't know what she stands for and will read nothing about her that relates to her policies. But she has no problem spewing forth hatred about her and sending political propaganda that spews more hate and, for some reasons, questions her sexuality. Her biggest complaint is that she is married to Bill Clinton and is too pushy.

I can respect anyone who dislikes a candidate based on political leanings, but this hate over the way she acts, her hairstyle, and her husband are weird.

But, I saw it on the Kerry campaign too. I mean who couldn't love to hate Heinz?

 

[PaulaSue]

OP, I would be driving the bus