Insensitive People: A Vent

[luvmy3]

I really don't think she was being malicious. It seems like she was trying to say she understands that hardships come along with raising special needs children. I feel like she was trying to be nice, but said it very wrong.

MTE. OP, she didn't say you should be ashamed of your ds, she was just saying that its a shame he has to face the world with the challenges that come with Aspergers. She could have been a little more sensitive to your feelings and worded it differently but I don't think she meant to hurt you.

 

[laurie31]

The people I know in this age group talk like that to express sympathy. Such as, "It's such a shame little Johnny broke his arm right at the beginning of the season. Now he won't get to play at all this year."

I think she was trying to say something nice, but of course Asperger's isn't like a broken arm. I'm sure she just has no idea, honestly.

 

[AC7179]

Yes. I'm with the camp that thinks she meant it is a shame that he has to deal with his challenges, but just phrased it poorly. I'm sorry you were upset by the comment though, I can see how it could be misconstrued!

 

[TinkerBean]

I too have a DS 13 with Asperger's Syndrome and have been on the receiving end of comments like these. You have every right to be hurt and upset regardless of how it was *intended*. It is too easy to make excuses for people when there is no excuse for their behaviour. I have people ask me if there is a cure for him, how lucky "he" is that I am his mom (um, no *I* am the lucky one), and I could go on and on. I know that these comments were supposed to "well intentioned" - I could make some comparisions here but won't. The comments don't hurt any less because they were "well intentioned". He is my son, he is the light of my life. Don't feel sorry for me or him. Just treat him as you would any other child, with dignity and respect...

 

[teacups]

That must have hurt. I'm sorry.