In Search of My Body - Not the One I Ate, VOL 8...It's Never Too Late To Start Again!

Ahhhh!! I understand. Sorry, today was a whirlwind and I probably didn't read as in-depth as I should have.

Skinny-fat. No way. I want to be strong, toned. Did I mention that the lady next to me in choir on Monday guessed that I was in my mid-20s? Only off by almost 10 years.

I felt like I needed a bit extra today so I ate a little more. Some of my calories were in wine, too. :laughing: But, you have to live. 2010 is about losing weight, but also about giving in sometimes and getting right back to it.

Dinner was lean grilled chipotle-seasoned pork chop, corn tortillas, fat free refried beans, and onions/green pepper/jalapeno/green chilis cooked in a nonstick pan.

First of all - ummm Yum on the non-stick pan. I don't love pork chops but come cook it for it me with chicken - um yum.

On the twenties - love that woman. :love::lmao:

The study - I felt SO comforted by it. Went on my first diet around 12. As you all know sometimes because I was a tad overweight but mostly because I - and the rest of society - couldn't except my bones/size. Yo yoed many a time - until some point in my twenties I said "no more" I would honestly rather be fat then do it anymore. And really never happened again. Fat did - but not huge swings. So to hear all the changes in the body and why it's easier to pile it back on - comforting.

Let's decide that today is the day you hear about BWV. :lmao: I simply can't take it anymore. ;):rotfl:

Hi everyone - quick drive by for me. Interested reading here though. Heading to bed soon but wanted to let Nancy know that JC has been rescheduled for tomorrow. So need to get thereas I feel very lost at the moment since my schedule is all out of whack.

Hi to you all. Will show signs of life again tomorrow.

Hi Paula. :hug:

Thanks, Lisa. And Riley--well, he DOMINATED tonight. Really did a great job and stole the show. He was so high from it. Fun to see. Good day here. Tomorrow is the last day of school before break. Then they have 10 days off! I am actually excited. They need the break. And it means we ALL get to sleep in, which is desperately needed around here. (Sorry, Jo--my kids are sleepers! They'll sleep till 9 or sometimes even later! Of course, they go to bed later, too.)

Paula--I hear you about being out of whack. That's how I feel, too. Heading to bed now and that is a good thing--it is actually my "normal" bed time and I haven't seen it in a while.


They have a break AGAIN? :lmao: I love their schedule. Nice on Riley. :goodvibes Ba ba bump. (That's my drums :laughing:)





Great Job!!!:cool1:

Thanks Jo.
 
HAPPY TAX DAY EVERYONE! :eek:


super busy. Nothing too out of the ordinary, just the normal craziness.

Lisa - awesome job! :thumbsup2
 
Lisa, I have also dieted very young, I was over weight in grade school. Lost weight for high school, gained it back, had a break up, lost it again, met dh, had kids and gained again. For me that is why I can not do No Carb No Sugar. I have to make this a whole life change, beacuse once it comes off, I don't want it back again. And even now with haveing kids and working, there are many many times I have to get a quick dinner. What I need to learn is balance, I need to learn its ok to have bad stuff ONCE but not every day of the week. I am still doing the "well I blown it today, so just keep going"

I just thought I would share that.
 

Lisa, I have also dieted very young, I was over weight in grade school. Lost weight for high school, gained it back, had a break up, lost it again, met dh, had kids and gained again. For me that is why I can not do No Carb No Sugar. I have to make this a whole life change, beacuse once it comes off, I don't want it back again. And even now with haveing kids and working, there are many many times I have to get a quick dinner. What I need to learn is balance, I need to learn its ok to have bad stuff ONCE but not every day of the week. I am still doing the "well I blown it today, so just keep going"

I just thought I would share that.

Jo, I couldn't agree more. I need the balance thing as well, and something I can live with. No more no carb diets here. Mr Kat is way up on that (because he loves meat) and I have to talk him off the ledge monthly.

I don't have kids, but I have enough extra-curricular activies that quick dinners need to happen quite a bit too.

Oh, and the I blew it today so keep going thing!! I am so guilty of that. I have been doing a lot better with it this year, or at least restriciting it to a day or night instead of a whole week.

One of my biggest problems is allowing stress or tiredness or overwhelmed feelings (the ones where you go, I can't deal with my life today) allowing me to spiral down into emotional eating hell. I have been trying to mediate that with allowing myself to spiral a bit and eat more, but choose healthier things instead of going for the pizza, beer, chips and dip.
 
KAT I TOTALY AGREE

The "I just cant deal junk food eating" is so me.

The people I work for are so nasty that I have to tell myself every hour, that I can not change the way people act I can only change the way I react!!! and not EAT!
 
Lisa, I have also dieted very young, I was over weight in grade school. Lost weight for high school, gained it back, had a break up, lost it again, met dh, had kids and gained again. For me that is why I can not do No Carb No Sugar. I have to make this a whole life change, beacuse once it comes off, I don't want it back again. And even now with haveing kids and working, there are many many times I have to get a quick dinner. What I need to learn is balance, I need to learn its ok to have bad stuff ONCE but not every day of the week. I am still doing the "well I blown it today, so just keep going"

I just thought I would share that.

:hug: Jo.

The girls know this about me but part of my issue was that during my youth I would lose weight but some people would still think I was "big" or "fat". Or even before losing I would be this seven year old normal weight that boys would tease for eating spaghetti all day. :lmao: Boys - the way they say things. And those are hard memories to conquer because you have no place to go when you're there. You can't change your bones.

And it's only in the last two years with the help of this thread - and all these wonderful women - that I've left it. Yes, I still remember but it no longer has a hold on me and my choices. In fact, beyond that - I appreciate my size and my unique body (well maybe not legs but I'm working on it ;) I'm not perfect!). There is a picture - last year - that I would only lose maybe 15/ 20 pounds down - if that - and that weight would be way higher then times in my past that people would comment tio me. That's so sad. So incredbly stupid and sad.

There are people in this world where one just gained weight and have small bones. And that's that. But I truly believe there are a whole set of girls that once upon a time were just "bigger" and because people made them feel there was something wrong with them - that they didn't quite fit - well they fulfilled the prophecy and became fat. Janet Jackson says that is her weight struggle in a nutshell. She was a full faced, full bodied little girl who was teased and teased for being fat. Never feeling good enough in her own body. (I think she just wrote a book or is writing one on her struggle)

Even Erika - who is so beautiful - sometimes just forgets that she is simply an athletic body type.

It's sad and we all have to STOP IT NOW. Accept the best we are and not hand it down to another generation of girls. And not comparing ourselves to different body types.

Like Kat! :laughing: I suspect Ms. Kat can be very long and slender if that is what she chooses that is. And like Nancy - whose body type I know without seeing only because she does well on a stepper. Let me explain that - my body would build way beyond my big bones on that thing. It is like the devil's machine to my body. Smaler boned women - heaven. :lmao:;) See here's the difference now - I can admire Kat and Nancy without wishing that I was them. I spent many years wishing I was smaller boned. No longer do I hate my size. And when you all see me one day at first you'll think I'm a big fat liar. Cause my body is strange that way. I can look very narrow - although I'm large boned - as in no hips ( I love hips). And then I turn to the side. Laughing.

Okay - I'm finished. :laughing:
 
Lisa--I just adore you. You know that right?? And yes I still struggle with my build. All in time.

Jo--yes 1am is my normal bed time. I am used to it now. And truly it is a small price to pay in order to work from home and have the life I do.

Nancy--I am at my tax attorney's office right now. Ugh. Getting final numbers and paying today. I have never gone down to the wire like this before. But this year's return was so super complicated. I plan to drink tonight really. It is exhausting and stressful. It is actually easier with Jeff out of the country because he stresses more than I do. And the combined effect is brutal.
 
Lisa I just want to give you a GIANT HUG!!!!:hug::hug::hug::hug:


E, sorry its tax day for you:sad2:

My tax story, so so stupid. This is the first year that I did not send my taxes to "our tax guy" DH wanted to save money. So one of the accounting guys here at the office helped me and I did them myself, mailed them out. That was February. Well I put the wrong SS# on my State return and I did NOT sign the Federal one. So here I am in April with the credit card bill for the swing set and still no tax return. All because I am a dumb a$$!!!

So go ahead laugh at me, I deserve it!
 
Hi Everyone!

Did I mention that the lady next to me in choir on Monday guessed that I was in my mid-20s? Only off by almost 10 years.

LOVE when that happens - awesome Kat! :cool1: Oh, and double awesome on the new size jeans! :thumbsup2

One of the women at work thought I was 10 years younger than I am (she guessed 18) HOWEVER, I don't believe for a second this is because of how I look, I think its because I was sat in the corner eating a sandwich cut into squares, a childs fromage frais and a funsize bag of chopped fruit for lunch just like a child would eat! :lmao:

Jo - Im going to check out your FB pics :thumbsup2

Erika - I love reading about your kiddos activites, I can just imagine the girls running rings round everyone like tornadoes! :lovestruc

Im so angry :mad: (I know, its hard to tell! :rotfl:) because my train station (well, not MY train station but the one I arrive in for work) has been taken over by morons trying to get me to use my general election vote to vote for a party that is racist, xenophobic and homophobic. Im thinking not so much. In fact, the words that came out of my mouth this morning were most unsavoury and very unladylike! :rotfl:
Ok, rant over!

Nancy, Paula, Meg, Jess, Ronda, EE, Amy, Liz, Lisa, everyone :flower3:
 
Lisa--I just adore you. You know that right?? And yes I still struggle with my build. All in time.
l.

Well I guess that means I can't edit, eh? :lmao::lovestruc Sh!t.

Yes, you are right. All in time. Me too. Hopefully it's close in time. You know you wouldn't want Cammie to pick up an inch of that crap. I know you know that Erika - I'm just talking outloud.
 
It is exhausting and stressful. It is actually easier with Jeff out of the country because he stresses more than I do. And the combined effect is brutal.

I have compassion but those last sentences. I am so sorry - I just LOVED THEM. :lmao:;)

I know I'm not helping.
 
Lisa I just want to give you a GIANT HUG!!!!:hug::hug::hug::hug:


E, sorry its tax day for you:sad2:

My tax story, so so stupid. This is the first year that I did not send my taxes to "our tax guy" DH wanted to save money. So one of the accounting guys here at the office helped me and I did them myself, mailed them out. That was February. Well I put the wrong SS# on my State return and I did NOT sign the Federal one. So here I am in April with the credit card bill for the swing set and still no tax return. All because I am a dumb a$$!!!

So go ahead laugh at me, I deserve it!

Well listen - I'm not so sure there weren't two dumba$$es in that story Jo. Or maybe even just one - that is not female ;):lovestruc :rolleyes1

Come on - laugh with me. He makes me laugh.
 
Hi Everyone!





Im so angry :mad: (I know, its hard to tell! :rotfl:) because my train station (well, not MY train station but the one I arrive in for work) has been taken over by morons trying to get me to use my general election vote to vote for a party that is racist, xenophobic and homophobic. Im thinking not so much. In fact, the words that came out of my mouth this morning were most unsavoury and very unladylike! :rotfl:
Ok, rant over!

Yes rant over. Do you not remember our Relocation, Relocation conversation missy?. SO no rants with the word train stations in them. ;) I can't even read them. :lmao::lovestruc

Hey dirty dog - soon, eh? May? He's performing at the Junos (our Grammys) this weekend. As is that little Justin boy who Jean seems to be in love with. :scared1:
 
What I need to learn is balance, I need to learn its ok to have bad stuff ONCE but not every day of the week. I am still doing the "well I blown it today, so just keep going"

I just thought I would share that.

Honestly Jo, I think that's what we ALL need to work on!

You can't change your bones.

So, so true. And, I really do blame the media for so much of the problem. Look at models. And actresses. And all of the "idols". So much pressure has been put on women to be ridiculously perfect. I do, however, honestly believe that a lot of the mindset has been changing, so hopefully the girls of today will be encouraged to be HEALTHY not strive to achieve a body type that nature never intended for them.


Lisa--I just adore you. You know that
right?? And yes I still struggle with my build. All in time.

HEY. Those were my words. Exactly :lmao:

I plan to drink tonight really.

drinking myself right now. But not because I had a tax session from he!!. Hope the damages weren't too bad for you :scared:

So here I am in April with the credit card bill for the swing set and still no tax return. All because I am a dumb a$$!!!

DOH! :headache: That sucks!

Hey Nancy--I just downloaded the whack-a-mole app for my phone!!

:lmao: ok. Thanks. Now I have to clean the chardoney off my screen :lmao:
 
One of the women at work thought I was 10 years younger than I am (she guessed 18) HOWEVER, I don't believe for a second this is because of how I look, I think its because I was sat in the corner eating a sandwich cut into squares, a childs fromage frais and a funsize bag of chopped fruit for lunch just like a child would eat! :lmao:


:lmao::lmao: Whatever! I say if it makes you look 18, go for it!!

In fact, the words that came out of my mouth this morning were most unsavoury and very unladylike! :rotfl:

:laughing: I can't blame you.


So - are you experiencing any effects of the volcanic ash that has shut down all the airports in Western Europe? A group of kids from our high school was supposed to leave today for a 10 trip to France - but have been delayed until SUNDAY! :sad2:
 
OMG - I have had the total day from hell... It is killing me that I can't call this one member of my team and tell him to not come back from his vacation. The only plus side to all of this is that I am interviewing potential replacements for him next week. So stressed - but am not eating my way through it so in my best Stewie from "Family Guy" voice - Victory is Mine!

Starting to calm down - finally. Tomorrow I have to deal with this guy's screw ups (that both the client and now the design team have picked up on), but I can handle that. Dealing with him is the issue. He won't listen to anyone. Thankfully, my big boss is aware and agrees with me - he has to go.

So other than work crap the week is going well (mainly because there isn't much time to do anything else). Went to JC tonight and lost 1.6 pounds! I am beyond thrilled over this given last week's 4+ pound weight gain debacle. I am back to my regular Monday night session next week so I am focusing on getting through the weekend.

How is everyone doing here?

Lisa - I so love your post begging us all to accept our body shapes and focus on being healthy. Please don't even think about editing it. It is too good to lose.
 
Kelly--sorry, but the idea of you angry makes me smile! You are adorable when angry! :lmao:

Lisa--you said street cred! You have no idea how that made me laugh! :rotfl2:

Nancy--actually, I am not drinking! I haven't had a great week in terms of points, I am going to pass on the wine tonight. I actually have a shot of staying within my points today.

Oh, so for those that don't know--I hate video and computer games. Simply hate them. Have never liked them. BUT Jeff got me hooked on this app called Plants vs. Zombies. Is anyone playing it? OMG, the addiction! And there are so many levels and layers. And really, I don't have time for this sh*t.

Taxes were submitted on time--electronically. And I put the checks in the mail with today's date stamp, so phew. It's over for this year. Painful as hell, but at least it's done. And we are taking steps so that next year isn't as bad.
 












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