In search of my body...not the one I ate! Part Deux... We sit at the popular table!

[HockeyKat]

I, unfortunately, still feel not so good. Keeping me from eating, at least! Everything I eat turns into cramps and unhappiness...

Good morning!

Updates...

I think movie theater popcorn and I have broken up. He tasted delicious but in the end, did not treat me well last night. I am afraid I might become one of those people who sneak in their healthy snacks. Save me!

It's the first day of July, and as promised to Erika a long time ago, I started my walking to run program. Not C25k - that felt too structured to me. So there I was today. I went out for 30 mins, and jogged for 30 seconds five times, walking in between. I didn't die. I do wonder how I will ever get to running for 3 whole miles.

Do you ever feel like you wish you didn't have to do this? Exercise, watch your food, etc? I do. I wish I was just a runner from childhood, and never gained weight or had to diet or change anything or any of it, really. I mean, I enjoy the gym, but man, I wish I didn't have to learn this stuff. The learning curve sucks sometimes.

That sucks about the movie popcorn.

And yes, I completely, absolutely, totally understand about wishing you didn't have to do this. I really can't put into words how much I do.

Everytime someone goes out to lunch and I go to the gym and then munch my salad at my desk... every time I pass the deli downstairs and their special looks good and I don't eat it... every time I *do* go out to lunch and eat my salad and everyone else eats mounds of fried seafood...

Then again, there is the flip side. Today I weighed 162 (thanks, stomach bug diet), and my formerly "thin" pants (size 12) are loose to the point I can put my whole hand between the waistband and my waist.

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Oh, sure, it's nice to be thinner. It is. But I wish I just was. Also, I wish I hadn't signed up for this freaking 5k.

I hope you feel better today.

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Do you ever feel like you wish you didn't have to do this? Exercise, watch your food, etc? I do. I wish I was just a runner from childhood, and never gained weight or had to diet or change anything or any of it, really. I mean, I enjoy the gym, but man, I wish I didn't have to learn this stuff. The learning curve sucks sometimes.

Hell YES! I wish all those years ago when I was like FIVE that someone would have told me Don't eat all your plate because you'll BE FAT when you grow UP! I tell my kids all the time only take what you think you are going to eat! If you want more than that is fine just don't over fill yourself! Some don't Listen but yet she doesn't listen to anything to I have to say! But then again we have done the other route with her and I had to force food to her lips... 7th grade told body image was the most important thing she went from 150 to 119 in 7 months. Now she is back to the 150.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Stephanie!!!!!!!! THAT'S TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!

I wish I was naturally thin and athletic also.

But because we're not, we are going to be uncomfortable either way. You can change your lifestyle and miss food or you can stay stagnet and miss everything else.

Let me take you back. Back to the time when you didn't do it. (Where I am at.) You get up and eat whatever you want. The food world is your oyster. The richer the better. Do you remember, that while the food was great, everything else was chaos. You felt thick and uncomfortable when pulling up those pants that were snug(in a size you don't even want to reveal). You were mortified to shop in the plus section. Pictures of you. OMG. IS that really me? Is that what I look like? Is that how others see me? Feeling out of control. Feeling lethargic. Feeling sick with stomach cramps, cause really, your body doesn't want all this sugar and grease and will get rid of it ASAP. And then let's go to how you feel when you see the little ones. Not kids. But the women who either have mastered the art of controling their actions (or the be-atches born with a fast metabo). They look so comfortable. Pull on jeans and actually feel at ease in them. Move thru life, in a grace reserved for those who are not aware of every roll and jiggle that might be observed by others. Watching others with want. Having sex and enjoying it fully, not thinking of the day when you will move with your body, not your body following you.

Maybe you can relate to some of these things, maybe you can relate to all of them. Whatever the case, while it sucks making the food and exercise sacrifice, it's better than the alternative, right?!?!?!?!

Popcorn - movie theatre popcorn is very good. Other popcorn - it smells better than it tastes. Little bit of a letdown for me.

 

[3DisneyKids]

LIZ!!! I am so proud of you! WOO HOO for day one of running! You laced up and got out there!

I am sure you used an iPod, right? If not, this will be your lifeline. Put on great music, the DIS podcast, or a great audiobook. You will get lost and the time will fly by.

KAT--another WOO HOO for loose pants! Ok sure, you got it the hard way (sorry!) but at least you can see some positive from being sick.

Gym--done for now, but I have another core workout tonight. I am trying something new and instead of doing two hours in the morning, I am splitting it up into once in the morning and once in the evening (or in yesterday's case...two hours in the morning and one in the evening). I read an article in Runner's World, so we'll see.

In other news...I stopped by my mom's after the gym this morning and she was stunned. She said my legs look awesome and I look so toned overall! That made my day!

Ok, kid time...off to the pool and then to the beach. It is a gorgeous day, but I really would love to just hang on the back deck and read all day, you know?

I'll be back online this evening.

 

[3DisneyKids]

But because we're not, we are going to be uncomfortable either way. You can change your lifestyle and miss food or you can stay stagnet and miss everything else.

Let me take you back. Back to the time when you didn't do it. (Where I am at.) You get up and eat whatever you want. The food world is your oyster. The richer the better. Do you remember, that while the food was great, everything else was chaos. You felt thick and uncomfortable when pulling up those pants that were snug(in a size you don't even want to reveal). You were mortified to shop in the plus section. Pictures of you. OMG. IS that really me? Is that what I look like? Is that how others see me? Feeling out of control. Feeling lethargic. Feeling sick with stomach cramps, cause really, your body doesn't want all this sugar and grease and will get rid of it ASAP. And then let's go to how you feel when you see the little ones. Not kids. But the women who either have mastered the art of controling their actions (or the be-atches born with a fast metabo). They look so comfortable. Pull on jeans and actually feel at ease in them. Move thru life, in a grace reserved for those who are not aware of every roll and jiggle that might be observed by others. Watching others with want. Having sex and enjoying it fully, not thinking of the day when you will move with your body, not your body following you.

Maybe you can relate to some of these things, maybe you can relate to all of them. Whatever the case, while it sucks making the food and exercise sacrifice, it's better than the alternative, right?!?!?!?!

While I know you meant this for Steph, it reached me right to my core and has helped more than you know. Thanks for taking the time to write it all out.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

EriKa - we need to weigh the hogs again. It's such an ordeal. But I've got to get it done.

Your food sounds good. Well except for the tofu. Crepes, high falooting camping food. 8 miles, plus core and boxing. You are obsessed. (insert envy smiley here.)

Liz - I was thinking of you training to run this morning. And I wish they'd rename runs in American measurements. K means nothing to me. It throws me off. 2 Hours at the gym. Woman, you rock.

Kat - size 12 too loose!!! Did you get a bikini at Target?

Paula - didn't you weigh in yesterday?

Munky - you were up late last night. Wish I was going to DL.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Well, it was actually for all of you who are actually making/have made the change. I wanted to remind you why.

I feel like I'm right there. I'm so ready I'm vibrating.

 

[goofyfan-12]

Stephanie!!!!!!!! THAT'S TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!

I wish I was naturally thin and athletic also.

But because we're not, we are going to be uncomfortable either way. You can change your lifestyle and miss food or you can stay stagnet and miss everything else.

Let me take you back. Back to the time when you didn't do it. (Where I am at.) You get up and eat whatever you want. The food world is your oyster. The richer the better. Do you remember, that while the food was great, everything else was chaos. You felt thick and uncomfortable when pulling up those pants that were snug(in a size you don't even want to reveal). You were mortified to shop in the plus section. Pictures of you. OMG. IS that really me? Is that what I look like? Is that how others see me? Feeling out of control. Feeling lethargic. Feeling sick with stomach cramps, cause really, your body doesn't want all this sugar and grease and will get rid of it ASAP. And then let's go to how you feel when you see the little ones. Not kids. But the women who either have mastered the art of controling their actions (or the be-atches born with a fast metabo). They look so comfortable. Pull on jeans and actually feel at ease in them. Move thru life, in a grace reserved for those who are not aware of every roll and jiggle that might be observed by others. Watching others with want. Having sex and enjoying it fully, not thinking of the day when you will move with your body, not your body following you.

Maybe you can relate to some of these things, maybe you can relate to all of them. Whatever the case, while it sucks making the food and exercise sacrifice, it's better than the alternative, right?!?!?!?!

Popcorn - movie theatre popcorn is very good. Other popcorn - it smells better than it tastes. Little bit of a letdown for me.

I am printing this out and hanging it next to my computer at work. What great motivation to keep me on track. Thank you for writing it....

While I know you meant this for Steph, it reached me right to my core and has helped more than you know. Thanks for taking the time to write it all out.

Ditto on what Erika said. Hugs to you...

EriKa - we need to weigh the hogs again. It's such an ordeal. But I've got to get it done.

Your food sounds good. Well except for the tofu. Crepes, high falooting camping food. 8 miles, plus core and boxing. You are obsessed. (insert envy smiley here.)

Liz - I was thinking of you training to run this morning. And I wish they'd rename runs in American measurements. K means nothing to me. It throws me off. 2 Hours at the gym. Woman, you rock.

Kat - size 12 too loose!!! Did you get a bikini at Target?

Paula - didn't you weigh in yesterday?

I did weigh in yesterday and gained 2 pounds... I knew it was coming since I did not eat one dinner at home last week. Every dinner was restaurant food (and portions) and I did not make good food choices at all. ..

On the plus side, I am in a much better place mentally than I was a week ago. I had read an article that spoke about how people tend to lose weight for six months and then maintain that for six months before they are ready to lose again. For the past six months, while I have not lost any significant weight, I have not gained it either. I am still flirting with the same five pounds so in essence I have maintained my loss (something I have never really done before).

I know I have more weight to lose because I want to lose and frankly, I deserve to lose it because I am a good person who deserves a healthy lifestyle. So, today is the start of the next six month weight loss pattern. I am looking forward to my meal planning and exercising. I am researching classes at my gym to put that scheduled workout time back into my schedule instead of relying on my whims to exercise. I know that I thrive in a structured environment so I need the accountability of an instructor / trainer as well as my JC consultant and all of you guys to keep me honest. I am not accountable to myself when it comes to food and exercise as I have lied to myself in the past and have not yet learned how to completely overcome that now, but I will get there. In the meantime, I am counting on you all to help keep me honest and calling me out when I don't report my weigh in results... I am not quite up to reporting my food yet, but maybe I should. Every little bit helps right.

Thanks again for all you have done to help me through this. I am not sure if you realize the impact you have all had in my life so far. I am truly blessed to have you here...

 

[HockeyKat]

Lyz, you totally rock. That was awesome, and so very true.

Paula, it's odd, because that is pretty much what I did... I lost a bunch between Jan and Aug last year, and then pretty much maintained between Sept and Jan (added about 5 lbs). I got serious again in Feb of this year and am back on a weight loss track. Good luck and let us know what we can do to help.


I am still feeling not so good. I felt weak and weird, so I went to Walmart at lunch and got chicken soup, bread, cheese, and 1 gallon distilled water + replenish packets to maybe stave off dehydration. I ate the sandwich and am thinking about the soup, as my stomach protests. Can this end now please??

On a good note I got another bite on the resumes I seeded on Saturday...

 

[goofyfan-12]

Kat - thanks for sharing... I wasn't sure if the article I read had any validity or if it was my mind's way of rationalizing the past six months... at least I think I'm not crazy now.... I'll holler if I need something specific, but for now reading everyone's post, sharing my own and knowing there are folks out there who care and want to know helps me immensely...

Hope you feel better and way to go on the resume' nibbles. I doubt you find it difficult to find a new position given your experience and talents.

Paula

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Paula - it IS a mental thing! If that's clicking your odds are so much better. Maintaining, ain't gaining.

Kat - I am so not surpised you have gotten bites on your resume so fast. Course I think your an assett, but I'm alittle predjudiced. Sorry you feel so bad. Wonder what happened?

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Jodi - what's up? Is the house getting some traffic? Are you exercising?

Dawn - ww?

 

[HockeyKat]

Paula - it IS a mental thing! If that's clicking your odds are so much better. Maintaining, ain't gaining.

Kat - I am so not surpised you have gotten bites on your resume so fast. Course I think your an assett, but I'm alittle predjudiced. Sorry you feel so bad. Wonder what happened?

You know, I wish I knew. I am actually thinking it may be flu? I have chest congestion and a cough today in addition to the remaining tummy issues, which seems odd to me, and looking back I had a bit of a sore throat too over the weekend. I ignore those kinds of symptoms but the tummy sure isn't letting me ignore it.

I do feel a bit better after eating (well, the sandwich, the soup I just couldnt' choke down), and having about half the gallon of distilled water with the electrolyte powder in it. It is 0 calorie, too!

As far as the job goes, it is definitely an ego boost to seed out 6 or so resumes and get 3 responses. Granted, I did only apply to stuff that was a pretty close match to my skill set, and I only applied directly to that company's website (I am too afraid of the recruiter set around here, boss-man was a recruiter once upon a time and too many of them know him and would call him in a heartbeat).

And, I do feel really good about the weight loss today. My cheerleader of a cube n'bor calls me skinny girl all the time (she had gastric bypass so is well aware of weight loss efforts and trials), and today was making fun of me because my blouse is falling off huge. I am a bit sad, though, because I LOVE this shirt... it is an empire waist satin flowy thing with red, gray, black, silver, and white pattern, and very figure flattering for an empire.

Okay, I am very verbose today. Must be the sickness! Or, maybe the really boring conf call that I am on.

 

[MunkyMe13]

EriKa - we need to weigh the hogs again. It's such an ordeal. But I've got to get it done.

Your food sounds good. Well except for the tofu. Crepes, high falooting camping food. 8 miles, plus core and boxing. You are obsessed. (insert envy smiley here.)

Liz - I was thinking of you training to run this morning. And I wish they'd rename runs in American measurements. K means nothing to me. It throws me off. 2 Hours at the gym. Woman, you rock.

Kat - size 12 too loose!!! Did you get a bikini at Target?

Paula - didn't you weigh in yesterday?

Munky - you were up late last night. Wish I was going to DL.

I got to bed at 5:30 pm and wake back up at 11:30 to hang out with DH for a bit when he gets home. We eat, watch an episode or 2 of Smallville, and then I go back to bed around 3am and wake up again at 630.

I am printing this out and hanging it next to my computer at work. What great motivation to keep me on track. Thank you for writing it....



Ditto on what Erika said. Hugs to you...



On the plus side, I am in a much better place mentally than I was a week ago. I had read an article that spoke about how people tend to lose weight for six months and then maintain that for six months before they are ready to lose again. For the past six months, while I have not lost any significant weight, I have not gained it either. I am still flirting with the same five pounds so in essence I have maintained my loss (something I have never really done before).

I know I have more weight to lose because I want to lose and frankly, I deserve to lose it because I am a good person who deserves a healthy lifestyle. So, today is the start of the next six month weight loss pattern. I am looking forward to my meal planning and exercising. I am researching classes at my gym to put that scheduled workout time back into my schedule instead of relying on my whims to exercise. I know that I thrive in a structured environment so I need the accountability of an instructor / trainer as well as my JC consultant and all of you guys to keep me honest. I am not accountable to myself when it comes to food and exercise as I have lied to myself in the past and have not yet learned how to completely overcome that now, but I will get there. In the meantime, I am counting on you all to help keep me honest and calling me out when I don't report my weigh in results... I am not quite up to reporting my food yet, but maybe I should. Every little bit helps right.

Thanks again for all you have done to help me through this. I am not sure if you realize the impact you have all had in my life so far. I am truly blessed to have you here...

Way to keep moving forward!!!!

Lyz, you totally rock. That was awesome, and so very true.

Paula, it's odd, because that is pretty much what I did... I lost a bunch between Jan and Aug last year, and then pretty much maintained between Sept and Jan (added about 5 lbs). I got serious again in Feb of this year and am back on a weight loss track. Good luck and let us know what we can do to help.


I am still feeling not so good. I felt weak and weird, so I went to Walmart at lunch and got chicken soup, bread, cheese, and 1 gallon distilled water + replenish packets to maybe stave off dehydration. I ate the sandwich and am thinking about the soup, as my stomach protests. Can this end now please??

On a good note I got another bite on the resumes I seeded on Saturday...

Yay on resume bites!!!

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Stephanie!!!!!!!! THAT'S TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!

I wish I was naturally thin and athletic also.

But because we're not, we are going to be uncomfortable either way. You can change your lifestyle and miss food or you can stay stagnet and miss everything else.

Let me take you back. Back to the time when you didn't do it. (Where I am at.) You get up and eat whatever you want. The food world is your oyster. The richer the better. Do you remember, that while the food was great, everything else was chaos. You felt thick and uncomfortable when pulling up those pants that were snug(in a size you don't even want to reveal). You were mortified to shop in the plus section. Pictures of you. OMG. IS that really me? Is that what I look like? Is that how others see me? Feeling out of control. Feeling lethargic. Feeling sick with stomach cramps, cause really, your body doesn't want all this sugar and grease and will get rid of it ASAP. And then let's go to how you feel when you see the little ones. Not kids. But the women who either have mastered the art of controling their actions (or the be-atches born with a fast metabo). They look so comfortable. Pull on jeans and actually feel at ease in them. Move thru life, in a grace reserved for those who are not aware of every roll and jiggle that might be observed by others. Watching others with want. Having sex and enjoying it fully, not thinking of the day when you will move with your body, not your body following you.

Maybe you can relate to some of these things, maybe you can relate to all of them. Whatever the case, while it sucks making the food and exercise sacrifice, it's better than the alternative, right?!?!?!?!

Popcorn - movie theatre popcorn is very good. Other popcorn - it smells better than it tastes. Little bit of a letdown for me.

Thank you for this.

And thanks to all of you - you know when in When Harry Met Sally, they tell Carrie Fischer her married lover is never going to leave his wife, and she says "You're right, you're right, I know you're right"? Well, that's me today. Tomorrow I weigh in and have a day off of exercise. Thursday I go out there and try to run for 45 seconds at a time. Baby steps!

Now, off to the movies - third day in a row - without my ex, movie theater popcorn!!!

 

[HockeyKat]

Thank you for this.

And thanks to all of you - you know when in When Harry Met Sally, they tell Carrie Fischer her married lover is never going to leave his wife, and she says "You're right, you're right, I know you're right"? Well, that's me today. Tomorrow I weigh in and have a day off of exercise. Thursday I go out there and try to run for 45 seconds at a time. Baby steps!

Now, off to the movies - third day in a row - without my ex, movie theater popcorn!!!

LMAO!! I love that line. I used to use it all the time and people would give me blank looks...

Okay, I have a couple of pics to post, gonna do it here and in the Peep thread. The first is at my fattest, and it is really hard to see, but it is all I have. The 2nd most of y'all have seen, it is at about 205 probably. The 3rd is from last weekend when I managed to fit into my size 10 gap khakis from the "thin" drawer.

 

[3DisneyKids]

OMG, KAT!!!!

Holy amazing skinniness! Ok, you look thin. As in normal, healthy, great-looking, sure-I've always-been-thin-and-healthy thin!

WOW! I am just speechless....

 

[goofyfan-12]

KAT -

I am sooo proud of what you have accomplished... you look amazing!!!!!

You are truly an inspiration to me and living proof that it can be done!!!!!

You go girl!!!!!



Goof

 

[3DisneyKids]

Well, it was actually for all of you who are actually making/have made the change. I wanted to remind you why.

I feel like I'm right there. I'm so ready I'm vibrating.

Exciting! Glad to hear that you are on the verge of a breakthrough. Let us know what we can do to push you over the edge!

I had read an article that spoke about how people tend to lose weight for six months and then maintain that for six months before they are ready to lose again. For the past six months, while I have not lost any significant weight, I have not gained it either. I am still flirting with the same five pounds so in essence I have maintained my loss (something I have never really done before).

A few weeks ago, Liz recommended the article from the June issue of Allure magazine (it is still on the racks). I got it on her advice and it says this exact thing...people lose for 6 months, then maintain for 6, then lose for the next 6. So you are not insane! Here's to the next 6 months!

Thank you for this.

And thanks to all of you - you know when in When Harry Met Sally, they tell Carrie Fischer her married lover is never going to leave his wife, and she says "You're right, you're right, I know you're right"? Well, that's me today. Tomorrow I weigh in and have a day off of exercise. Thursday I go out there and try to run for 45 seconds at a time. Baby steps!

Now, off to the movies - third day in a row - without my ex, movie theater popcorn!!!

Love that line and movie! Ok, so what's with the movie binge??? We know about Wall-e...what else are you going to?

Baby steps work! You CAN do this!


And KAT--I feel like I didn't say this well before, but you look so great in a very natural and comfortable way, if that makes sense. Like you have never been heavy and have always just been thin. Amazing! You look incredible and deserve every compliment you are getting and then some! I am so proud of you!