Imposing house rules on invited guests

[ncgolfer]

Its my house, like my rules or hit the door. I'd make it very clear up front and if you don't wanna stay in MY house under MY conditions, then give the Holiday Inn a call.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

ITA!

My brother and his now wife visited us prior to marrying (they were not specifically invited, but they were welcome) . I'm not going to tell anyone in my family they aren't welcome to visit, but they knew a visit to us meant sleeping seperately or sleeping in a motel. Sleeping together outside of marriage is against the religion that we practice in our home. I would expect any guest to be respectful of those beliefs. I never said a word to them about their choices in their own home, I expected them to respect mine as well. They slept seperately (they knew ahead that would be expected) and it wasn't an issue.

If it is an issue for you, you are right to sleep in a motel. I assume they will choose to sleep in a motel when they visit you - or they won't visit at all. You are allowed to make your own choices based on your belief system, you need to allow them to do the same.

I agree with disykat.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

Lisa loves Pooh, I love what you said about not being wild sex machines. Everyone I know thinks that just because we're in our mid-20's and live together that we can't keep our hands off of each other. That made me laugh when I read that.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Lisa loves Pooh, I love what you said about not being wild sex machines. Everyone I know thinks that just because we're in our mid-20's and live together that we can't keep our hands off of each other. That made me laugh when I read that.

indeed...

I was quoting Esmerelda X ....though I would have said the same thing as Esmerelda pre-marriage on the wild sex machines part...though we didn't live together until we were engaged to be married...and some things NEVER change .

We did respect the parents and sleeping arrangements--it was creepy weird to go to my mom's as she wasn't married but co-habitated...she figured she can't in good conscious make her daughter and fiance sleep separately on good morals when she would be sharing her bedroom.

Now that I've outed myself...since children we do maintain that non-marrieds cannot co-habitate under our roof...all disclosed in advance and noone has been bothered by our house rules.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Lisa loves Pooh, I love what you said about not being wild sex machines. Everyone I know thinks that just because we're in our mid-20's and live together that we can't keep our hands off of each other. That made me laugh when I read that.

FYI--items in a green box in a person's post are quotes from other posters or other resources. Sometimes peopel just copy and paste..but most use the "quote" button when replying.

 

[Charade]

I guess I would like to know from those that wouldn't allow unmarried couples to sleep together while they are a guest if you ever tell those unmarried couples other times that you disapprove of their living arrangements?

Would you ever let your children stay overnight with an unmarried couple (friends or relatives)?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I guess I would like to know from those that wouldn't allow unmarried couples to sleep together while they are a guest if you ever tell those unmarried couples other times that you disapprove of their living arrangements?

Would you ever let your children stay overnight with an unmarried couple (friends or relatives)?

Just b/c you don't allow someone to do something in your house doesn't necessarily mean that they disapprove of the person...it just means that they disapprove of the action/activity and would prefer you not to do it in their home. So my house rules: No smoking, no swearing, no television that I deem inappropriate for my kids while they are still awake, and no co-habitating. When I go to your house--I will work around what I need to--but if something is done that is inappropriate in front of my kids I will say something. I have been known to say that we don't want DD's first words to be ****. B/c it is true.

I have no problems with what people do outside of my house, unless it is illegal then I would avoid them (I'm not big into breaking the law and the thought of me be associated with it just makes me panic something first). They know my beliefs in one plain and simple conversation...I do not preach hell and damnation to them for their choices--b/c first off....makes me come across as better than they are (which is not the case) and people like to see the behavior and not hear it. I have ALWAYS been a very conservative person, long before I ever went to church. So some things are just innate....people know that I will blush at certain topics...but I have been known to be curious and want to hear about some topics (and curiousity does kill the cat).

I am not ready to have my child spend the night at other people's homes...and those I have been inclined to let her do so have living arrangements consistent with my own living arrangements. I will NEVER allow my child to stay at someone's house where I do not know the parents well(married or not)--I am very protective and don't want anything bad to happen while she was away. Having been a victim and my mother having been a victim..my primary concern is my daughters safety and not the marital status of the parents.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

I just have one question for those that want to know why unmarried couples don't want to just suck it up and sleep apart for a couple of nights. If someone told you that you couldn't sleep with your spouse, how would you feel? I'm just curious. Either way, I'd stay in a hotel instead.

I've been married and I've lived with my spouse before we were married. Actually, with both my ex and my DH before marriage. DD knows this...she was living with us when my current DH and I were living together. I don't think that DH and I were morally wrong nor does dd--she knows that I'm not the kind of person who sleeps around and she knows that when she's older, I don't care if she lives with someone before marriage. My beliefs and those of my family may be different than yours. No one in my family or DH's family insisted that we sleep apart. We were in a committed relationship and everyone was fine with that--no judgements at all.

If my DH and I weren't married and someone asked us to sleep apart I would be fine with it. I would not think that they were insulting me or anything. In fact this has happened and we slept apart with no problem. If I was married and they didn't want us to sleep together, I would wonder why. Do you not like me? Do you want my DH?

 

[NeverlandClub23]

FYI--items in a green box in a person's post are quotes from other posters or other resources. Sometimes peopel just copy and paste..but most use the "quote" button when replying.

Oops, so sorry. Whoever said that (because I'm too lazy to go back and look) thank you for making me laugh.

 

[FayeW]

Just don't ask them to take off their shoes...