I'm not enjoying this 7 year old phase

[Pea-n-Me]

YES! I know teen years are going to blow.


But I just needed a quick vent as I am riding solo and needed a shoulder for a second.


I knew as soon as I hit "POST" I set my self up. I just wanted someone to say I feel ya. Been there. Yep, it sucks.

But in their own way, this is their advice to you. To keep it in perspective. (See X Boyfriend's Mom Won't Go Away thread if you want to see why.)

That said, maybe your DD is starting the difficult stage a little early. IME it was more around middle school as they realize they have some independence. For you it may mean to hold the reins even more now so she realizes she can't manipulate you, cause if you give in when she's freaking out, she just learned that that's what it takes to get her way, and to take it up a notch next time. Hopefully if you stick to your guns now, the teen years might be a little easier when she knows what the expectations are. Good luck! Parenting isn't for the faint of heart!

 

[cheerful chickadee]

omg this post is just what I needed! I have a 7 year old DD also and she is in a "testing limits/argumentative/dramatic" phase right now. Everything I say has to be said at least 4 times so honestly most days I have just resigned to saying things 4 times in a row, right off the bat "put your clothes in the hamper, put your clothes in the hamper, put your clothes in the hamper, put your clothes in the hamper and sometimes that still doesn't work. If I yell or raise my voice, I'm being "mean mommy" and she cries. And everything is over the top, everything even the affection. She will come in and jump on me to give me a hug and want me to hold her up, homegirl is almost as tall as me lol The words "bring it down like 20 notches" is a common one in my house.

FYI the number of notches changes depending on her level of craziness at the moment. If she is just being overly loud, it's 5 notches, etc.

OP you are not alone!

 

[SLP958]

My DS is also 7.
In the past few weeks we have noticed a dramatic change in his attitude.
The main point of our frustration has been his arguing. When I say arguing, I mean about the stupidest things you could imagine.

We made a list of all the offenses and a consequence. The consequences range from losing his iPad, bike, Xbox to not being able to play with friends.

It has helped a lot.

We think it is just a developmental change and that we have to use our parental control a little more strictly until he gets himself under control.

Parenting is definitely a Marathon.
Hang In there.

 

[mom2rtk]

OP, is your DD at the end of her school year? I remember my kids acting out at times of transition at that age. It always took a bit for things to settle down at the beginning and end of the school year.

 

[fly girl]

op-you say this has been going on for just the past month. is there any chance this is happening b/c the school year is coming to an end/she will be going into a higher grade next school year?

i ask this b/c w/my dd (and ds to some extent) it seemed like when they were younger their behaviors could get out of whack as the school year was winding down. they were looking forward to summer but knowing they wouldn't be w/all their school buddies and doing their regular routine (sometimes they didn't even realize it but were just reacting to it). this got further compounded if their teacher(s) were doing the standard speeches about 'you need to take more responsibility, you won't be an x grader next year-you'll be in y grade and you will be expected to.../the work will be more challenging....', then they hear from kids currently in the grade they're going into 'you have it so EASY, wait till next year when you're in y grade, we have to do......' (and your child doesn't think about how that kid is talking about what they are doing at the END of their y year vs. where they started out at the beginning). it can be something as simple (to us adults) as knowing when they go into y grade they will be changing playgrounds to the 'big kids' (i know at some of the schools we've dealt w/this frequently happens around 3rd grade) or having a different section of the lunchroom/lockers. it's stressful to the child but they don't know how to verbalize it and act out where/with whom they are comfortable and feel safe-home/mom.

OP, is your DD at the end of her school year? I remember my kids acting out at times of transition at that age. It always took a bit for things to settle down at the beginning and end of the school year.

Yes, this is the end of the school year. She's done on Tuesday (had to make up snow days).


The warm weather and longer days I'm sure are a factor. Like I said, the BIG fights are always about coming inside.


I don't think going into 2nd grade is a stress. She's verbalized she's excited and the classrooms are down the same hall. She actually is hoping to have some kids from other 1st grade classes in hers next year. Academically she's ahead of the game, and first communion is next year which she is absolutely excited about.


Also, we are going to the same summer camp as last year so she's really happy for that to begin. It is with different kids she knew mostly at preschool so it's something she looks forward to. I asked if she wanted to try a different camp this year, she didn't.


It's definitely just a phase, I just had it last night! Today wasn't as bad as I expected. And she did come to me this morning and apologize. I was waiting for the, "can I go outside now" after the apology but it didn't happen. Let's hope we're on the back end of this.

 

[OurBigTrip]

Give it nine more years; she'll be hanging out with the ex-boyfriend's mom more than she hangs out with you, and you'll long for these days.

 

[fly girl]

But in their own way, this is their advice to you. To keep it in perspective. (See X Boyfriend's Mom Won't Go Away thread if you want to see why.)

That said, maybe your DD is starting the difficult stage a little early. IME it was more around middle school as they realize they have some independence. For you it may mean to hold the reins even more now so she realizes she can't manipulate you, cause if you give in when she's freaking out, she just learned that that's what it takes to get her way, and to take it up a notch next time. Hopefully if you stick to your guns now, the teen years might be a little easier when she knows what the expectations are. Good luck! Parenting isn't for the faint of heart!

I responded to that thread and yes, that is on a whole different level.


However, I was just wanting validation that this is normal (it's always wonderful to hear you're not alone) and instead I got "enjoy it", "just wait", "it's nothing". I know -- it gets harder (I was a teen once!), but when it's your first go around handling new phases can be trying.

 

[OurBigTrip]

I responded to that thread and yes, that is on a whole different level.


However, I was just wanting validation that this is normal (it's always wonderful to hear you're not alone) and instead I got "enjoy it", "just wait", "it's nothing". I know -- it gets harder (I was a teen once!), but when it's your first go around handling new phases can be trying.

Agree, and I'm sorry if I came off as being flip - I sometimes forget how when my first was young, everything was a new "WTH???"

 

[nugov2]

It is tough some days. Parenting is truly the hardest thing you'll ever do. I have an emotional 10 yr old and it can be rocky sometimes. My younger boys can be more manageable most of the time because they aren't as intense. I try to make light of some situations to diffuse the emotional volcano. I sometimes find acting goofy can get her laughing and it redirects the emotion, sometimes even just hugging her. Other times nothing works and the volcano just has to erupt and I just let it happen until she is done. There is no point discussing anything when she is upset. It gets better in some ways and harder in others as they get older. Hang in there

 

[fly girl]

Agree, and I'm sorry if I came off as being flip - I sometimes forget how when my first was young, everything was a new "WTH???"

Thanks.