If you have experience, please help in dealing with an autistic student. UPDATE p.6

[Ember]

I have an undiagnosed autistic child in my classroom. Let's call the child "S." The parents utterly refuse testing, so there is no help or funding in place. S has been observed multiple times by different people (one of the only things we are allowed to do without parental consent) and it it unanimous, everyone feels the child is on the spectrum.

I am at my wits end. Because there is no diagnosis, there is no help to be had. I have 20 other students, six of whom have academic needs and are on special programming. Very simply, I do not have time to be one-on-one with S, there are too many other needs... I have looked for help from the administration, but their hands are tied. We can't test without permission, and without testing there is no funding. So it's just me left to cope as best I can.

I need help. This is a sweet child and I'm not equipped to help. I am reading as much as I can to learn new strategies to try, and I have been asking every teacher I know if they have any ideas. So I thought one more try for help couldn't hurt.

A quick run down:

- S is a very bright child who reads several grade levels ahead
- S is obsessed with fairy tales and talks of little else, communication is difficult even though S has a large vocabulary and is quite articulate
- S vastly prefers girls to boys, wanting to be with them and touching them all the time
- S seems to be easily overwhelmed when the class is moving about, such as for an activity change or during gym (which is a nightmare). There is almost always a tantrum and tears.
- S will call out constantly and will wander around the class, generally trying to touch to talk to the girls
- S has been suspended twice for behavior issues including strangling another child and another time for spitting

This is only a partial description of the behaviors, but I hope you can see how it might be very frustrating to have all this going on in the classroom. S needs one-on-one direction and constant supervision, but I can not provide these things. I desperately need to do something to be help S and to ensure the learning of the other students is not compromised. I realize I can only do so much when the parents refuse to do anything but that's not really helpful at the moment...

Any advice, or thoughts, or strategies that have worked, or ideas I might try would be most welcome. I am not trained to deal with this, but I am going to do the best I can. Please help.

 

[OceanAnnie]

IMO this is where mainstreaming has run amok. If a child can not control him or herself it is detrimental to have that child in a mainstream classroom. I think it would serve this child (and the classmates) better for him or her to be in a special needs classroom. I would lobby for that.

The needs are just too great and it takes away from the whole class.

Good luck, I hope it all works out.

 

[Ember]

IMO this is where mainstreaming has run amok. If a child can not control him or herself it is detrimental to have that child in a mainstream classroom. I think it would serve this child (and the classmates) better for him or her to be in a special needs classroom. I would lobby for that.

The needs are just too great and it takes away from the whole class.

Good luck, I hope it all works out.

I agree 100%. This child should not be in the class without an aide. I have sought to the have the child moved, but it's not going to happen. In fact, several parents have threatened to pull their children if nothing is done. This hasn't helped either.

The fact is I am stuck in this situation, so I'm going to have to find a way to deal with it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I agree 100%. This child should not be in the class without an aide. I have sought to the have the child moved, but it's not going to happen. In fact, several parents have threatened to pull their children if nothing is done. This hasn't helped either.

The fact is I am stuck in this situation, so I'm going to have to find a way to deal with it.

I'm sorry about that. Are you going to get an aide? I can't imagine being in your shoes without one.

 

[Ember]

I'm sorry about that. Are you going to get an aide? I can't imagine being in your shoes without one.

Nope. There is no aide and no funding, so tough luck for me. Hence the rather desperate pleas for help.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Nope. There is no aide and no funding, so tough luck for me. Hence the rather desperate pleas for help.

Oh my gosh. You poor thing. I don't know what you can do. You are only one person. You can't shadow this child all day to keep the other children safe, and teach the children effectively. How is it the principal doesn't understand this? Can you request he sit in on your class and observe? That's beyond absurd.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I have no advice and definitely feel for you. Perhaps you could convince the parents to come in and observe a class. The child is going to continue to experience difficulties. One of the functions of the aid for such a child is to act as a buffer. A higher functioning autistic child appears not only normal but often gifted to the other children. They are needy and can be very legalistic. The other students are unable to see it as a disability and just look at them as annoying. The autistic child, unable to pick up on social clues makes it worst. This causes them to get picked on and they have no idea why.

 

[hentob]

IMO this is where mainstreaming has run amok. If a child can not control him or herself it is detrimental to have that child in a mainstream classroom.

Not fair to the other students. I have posted before about the child with ODD in my child's class. It is a HORRIBLE environment. I am so tired of everyone else having rights except for normal, non-labeled children.


Where are their rights to learn in a calm, productive classroom?

 

[OceanAnnie]

I re-read your first post. Parents refuse testing. No diagnosis. Your hands are all but tied. It isn't truly mainstreaming run amok because of the lack of diagnosis, it's common sense run amok.

What grade do you teach?

 

[MrsPete]

No help whatsoever, but I was in the very same situation a few years ago.

The boy in question was a very nice boy, and he had plenty of academic ability, but he was "needy" -- more needy than I could help in the course of a regular class. He HAD TO DO certain things -- HAD TO, or he just couldn't function. He couldn't "roll with the punches", which is necessary in many ways. Any little thing threw him off kilter; for example, if we were supposed to go to the library and that changed for some reason, he became upset: "You SAID we were going today!" He had to sit in a certain seat. If he didn't have certain things with him, he was upset.

 

[eduk8r26]

It seems to me that about all you can do is keep suspending him for his behavior and maybe the parents will get the hint. Touching the girls would appear to be sexual harrassment, whether or not he knows what he is doing.

 

[Magic Mom]

Not fair to the other students. I have posted before about the child with ODD in my child's class. It is a HORRIBLE environment. I am so tired of everyone else having rights except for normal, non-labeled children.


Where are their rights to learn in a calm, productive classroom?

I agree with this. DD has a child in her class that has had to be to be restrained more than once. He is disruptive in class daily. He is also large and physically intimidating. DD is scared of him and it got to the point that I had to insist she not be sat at the same table with him, placed in group work with him, or paired with him. I am no the only parent to do this. All the classes in her grade are over capacity so moving her right now is not an option plus, she loves her teacher. Why should she have to move because of the actions of someone else? I want her to be in a class where one child's issues aren't a dominating factor in her learning.

 

[java]

I would keep suggesting testing to the parents.I didn't see how old he is. Perhaps they just don't want to hear it now. But if you keep suspending him. Or work with them on a notification plan.

Can you contact his parents and express exactly what you expressed here. Tell them in your opinion he needs more aide. You feel like you can not serve his needs or the needs of the others in your class with his behavior. Explain that the CLASS is suffering as a result of his behavior.
Just Thank you for the job you do! I was at a birhtday party today and saw the mix of kids that are now in my 1st graders class. God Bless his teacher. She has her hands full. It is a class of 16 she has 2 aides in there.

 

[polyfan]

Does the parent understand that if they were to proceed with special ed help it would also give the child some protection from suspensions. As of now, they could be put out of school without recourse if behaviors continue.

what about a behavior plan set up in your classroom just for this child? I know it is hard, but being patient and just giving reminders to child can help, such as stay in your seat etc.. this is rough, I can see the child so clearly, as I usually have one of these per year-however, I am the sped teacher in a gen ed class- so I can stay near the child to keep them seated etc.. transitioning is very difficult and overwhelming for them- I hate to say it,but some of the behaviors may need to just be ignored as much as possible- the parents really need look into this

minimize transitions as much as possible, routines are needed, give a specific time to the child to allow him to talk about the fairytales, try to seat the child where he will not be likely to get out of his seat- I am assuming it is a boy- keep away from girls as much as you can within the seating arrangement, assign a buddy if possible, give him a chance to walk around at a different time

 

[lovetoscrap]

I think I would push for the principal to insist that if they parents refuse testing and such then one parent needs to accompany the child all day at school and be responsible for his behavior.

Also you might talk to the Administration about the definition of Educational Neglect and see if that could apply in this situation since the parents refuse to allow what is necessary for their child.

My other suggestion is, does your district have an "Alternative School" for kids that are behavior problems. Not ones with diagnoses, but ones that have been suspended so many times they can't be in the classroom? Maybe if he was sent there the parents might wake up.

I would be documenting EVERYTHING! Every touch, every time the class is disrupted, every complaint from children and parents. And I would be sending him to the principal as often as I could. When it becomes their problem then they tend to work harder to find a solution.

My first year teaching I had a similar situation. I had a boy who's behavior was out of control and needed full time supervision. Several disorders were suspected but the district I was in refused to do any testing of Kindergarten kids and offer support. I had to remove all scissors from the class to keep everyone safe. I begged and begged for help but got none. Finally I began keeping detalied documentation, sending him to the principal for every infraction and ultimately I had to make a choice on if my job was worth this. Kids were being hurt (one needed stitches) because of this child and I couldn't keep them safe. I was concerned about personal liability if something happened and my job wasn't worth that. I gave the principal an ultimatum-- either he goes or I go. And I meant it. I had my resignation letter if he continued to refuse to back me up and provide support.

The wheels moved fast after that and he was sent to a different school that had aides in the classrooms and more intensive services to provide him what he needed.

The other kids in your class have the right to a safe environment in which they can learn. The administration needs to do something. If this child can't control himself and act appropriately and the parents refuse to let the school get him the help he needs, then they need to be the ones in the classroom monitoring him.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Of course you can not force testing.

But, since everyone at the school is on the same page, you should continue to document, document, document. You say that the child has been suspended twice already. The next time the child's behavior crosses the line, can the school not inform the child's parents that if this is to be handled according to policy, then the school must actually expel the student. Would a third suspension not warrant expulsion?

In other words, dangle the carrot, children with diagnosis and an IEP would not be expelled, but would receive assistance and services.

If the parents are given the very specific choice of expulsion, or protections and services offered by an IEP... I wonder if they may change their mind?

Has this approach been considered?

Honestly, I feel SOOOOOO sorry for this child. I really do. But if this child is touching and strangling other children, you really do need to force this issue. The other children in the classroom must be protected. Their education is important too. I am the mother of a special needs child... so I say this having seen both sides of the coin.. I agree with the other parents who feel that they must consider pulling their child out of that classroom.

To bad that there are no easy answers...

 

[koolaidmoms]

I

I need help. This is a sweet child and I'm not equipped to help. I am reading as much as I can to learn new strategies to try, and I have been asking every teacher I know if they have any ideas. So I thought one more try for help couldn't hurt.

A quick run down:

- S is a very bright child who reads several grade levels ahead
- S is obsessed with fairy tales and talks of little else, communication is difficult even though S has a large vocabulary and is quite articulate
- S vastly prefers girls to boys, wanting to be with them and touching them all the time
- S seems to be easily overwhelmed when the class is moving about, such as for an activity change or during gym (which is a nightmare). There is almost always a tantrum and tears.
- S will call out constantly and will wander around the class, generally trying to touch to talk to the girls
- S has been suspended twice for behavior issues including strangling another child and another time for spitting

You don't say what grade this is but I am assuming kindergarten as I hope someone else would have tried to address this before this point if not.

Some things you may want to try if you already haven't:

1. An exercise ball instead of a chair. This may allow him to move enough without getting out of his seat. They also have half balls for sitting on the floor.

2. A weighted object such as #10 bag of rice in a cloth bag to hold in his lap.

3, Can a volunteer work with him? A class grandma or mom on work that is challenging to him. My DS acts out when he is not intellectually challenged but gets calmer and calmer as the work increases in difficulty.

4. An item such as a very soft blanket or stuffed toy that is appropriate to touch when he gets the urge to touch the other children. Each time he gets the urge to touch someone he should seek out this item instead.

5. A written schedule for him so that he continually knows what is happening next (especially if he can read as well as he does) or a verbal reminder a few minutes before the changes start to happen.

6. Is the gym class issues sensory overload - noise, brightness of the gym, or outside, movement by other kids? Can each class begin with a couple minutes of slow build up to whatever they are doing. ie. If it is soccer can it start out with just passing the ball back and forth and not jumping into a soccer game or running around wildly so that he is not bombarded by all the stimuli at once.

7. It is completely unacceptable for him to touch others in any way. I would immediately send him out of the class for that. Is there a school counselor or social worker you can get involved to meet with him even if he is not classified?

I wish you the best. I am sure you have probably thought about all these things. It is not fair to you or your other students to have you all held back by one student.

 

[cydswipe]

Hi there,

I'm sorry you are in this situation. When I was in college, I thought about becoming a teacher. I am SO glad I didn't. I didn't realize what an awful teacher I would have been until my kids became school age. Thank you for taking on such a demanding career. You deserve a massage, a huge raise, and more support!


My very loud, opinionated sister was a parent in denial about her son's autism. My nephew is pretty much non verbal and a twin. For years, I mean way beyond "early intervention"... she fought it, denied it... "I'm not one of those parents in denial..." She is a Pediatric ICU nurse at a university.. she had to have "known". Everyone else did. No one could talk to her about it.

A Very persistent, LOVING pre school teacher took my nephew under her wing (by the way... private, not public school). My sister was "done" with the public school/ principal....

Long story short... my advice.. my sister has him in a special ed school. He qualified for the MR waiver and tons of respite care.

It doesn't sound like your student is that severe.. however, my opinion is FIGHT FOR THIS STUDENT TOOTH AND NAIL.... please please please do whatever you can to stir the pot. Get this student the help he needs. It may get messy and very ugly. The parents may be horrified that you could possible suggest autism. After they hear it enough, someone will get through to them. You may be the start of the process, they may hate you, they may pull him out and run the other direction (not so good for him, but better for the rest of the class).

We really felt for my sister, but we felt for the teachers/ school who were trying to point out something very difficult to hear. Being a teacher isn't a popularity contest... I'm sure you've had some families who "liked you" and others who preferred their child to be with another teacher. Don't take the anger towards you personally. The parents will be "hurt", dreams shattered, but go with your gut. Get the student help Please!

Hope that wasn't harsh... I feel for you.... It's hard to convey that via message boards!!!

Hopefully you will get

 

[SmallWorld71]

I would be documenting EVERYTHING! Every touch, every time the class is disrupted, every complaint from children and parents. And I would be sending him to the principal as often as I could. When it becomes their problem then they tend to work harder to find a solution.

I second both of these!
Sometimes when we, as educators, try to explain to administration and parents just how awful things are in our classrooms, things are twisted to make it sound like we are lazy or don't like the kid etc... and just don't want to do our jobs. I have kept records in the past for various reasons when I have a child who I know needs help but others are turning blind eyes to the situation. It's much more effective to be able to say that from 9-9:30 S got out of his seat 16 times, knocked over X's blocks and ........ then to try and say things off the top of your head. This way, they can't turn it around and make it sound like it is about you and not the child.

Also, if there are any unsafe situations, I would send him to the office immediately. I once had a student who was a danger to himself and others but admin. would not take me seriously. I was told to "teach standing next to him." Well, one day when I sent him to the V.P.'s office and he completely tore it apart they actually started listening.

Also, remember that you are not a doctor. Therefore, you can't diagnose the child as being on the spectrum. (Not saying he isn't) However, you can continue to document and show how this child's education is suffering. Hopefully, people will start listening.

Good luck.

 

[paintnolish]

My friend's ds is 9 and was diagnosed with Asperger's in K. A lot of the behaviors you've described are similar to his. As a pp suggested, maybe if his parents came in they'd would see how different his behaviors are. My friend really didn't notice (or maybe did not want to) until her ds was in contact with many other kids. Anyway, change is a huge thing for him, so a schedule or signs might help.