If you disagree with a policy change at your child's school ..

[Hrhpd]

One last thing. My son was left behind in Worchester Ma., while on a field trip. The teacher was aware that they were short two student but left anyway. They assumed He must have gone home with another parent, but never checked. My son called me on his cell phone telling me they had left him behind, he had gone to the restroom with a friend and when he came out he couldn't find his school group. It was a robotics competition, with many schools attending. If I had been there it wouldn't have happened. So my perspective on this is a little different then most.
In the original post the principal stated that the policy had changed because the teachers found it to much. He said nothing of student safety. Its should always be about the kids not the teachers.

Sounds more like a scenario that your son and his friend were also too "independent" and took off to the bathroom without informing the group leader that they were leaving the group. Does he also believe that the teachers are his employees, therefore can do whatever he wants? I would love to hear the teacher's side of the story.

 

[M2B]

Sounds more like a scenario that your son and his friend were also too "independent" and took off to the bathroom without informing the group leader that they were leaving the group. Does he also believe that the teachers are his employees, therefore can do whatever he wants? I would love to hear the teacher's side of the story.

There's that, too.

 

[dreamin_disney]

Most people who volunteer to go on fieldtrip are suppose to have a background check and their name run through megans law. If you have family following the bus and hanging out with the kids, you dont know if one of those people are sex offenders because a background check wasnt done. Would you want your kid around little Tommys dad or family member who is joining the trip without a background check. I wouldnt.

Sometimes teacher will break kids up into groups and send them off with parents. I've seen some teachers get rid of all their kids and they with other teacher go enjoy themselves.

I've also been on fieldtrips and sometimes the kids act worse if parents show up and even worse if parents bring other siblings. It can get crazy with so many volunteers especially ones who arent responsible.

 

[tasha99]

everyone that has a complaint about what I said is totally missing the point. It is not about following the teachers around at a field trip, its about spending time with your child and Taxes that are paid by you, parents in the community, to pay for your school and your teachers, should have some say as to what happens in that school. You shouldn't want to be dictated to. If you disagree with something you should be able to say so without being verbally attacked or brushed off as a helicopter parent. As for a teacher paying taxes, thats contradictory, all that you are actually doing is not taking some of the tax payer dollars. Your "taxes" that you paid are someone elses taxes they already paid. I am shocked that people would rather go with the flow, instead of saying something just because its easier. That makes me sad. I really thought someone would agree with me that the schools are ours, the communities, not the school administrations. But if that is what the majority wants then thats how it goes. As long as I am allowed to home school I fine with that. I guess I'm to independent.

1. Do you think that doctors who accept Medicare patients pay taxes? Would you presume to practice medicine for them? How about public defenders and firefighters? These types of professions get paid with taxpayer dollars, but they don't get the kind of flack teachers get. People think that just because they attended grade school, they know how to teach. Not so.

2. It's not people taking the easy route. It's about being part of a team, and not always taking the selfish, me me me route. While it would be nice to let everyone spend time with their kids on field trips, it is less safe to have extra adults tagging along. Safety has to come first.

 

[NaLisa]

everyone that has a complaint about what I said is totally missing the point. It is not about following the teachers around at a field trip, its about spending time with your child and Taxes that are paid by you, parents in the community, to pay for your school and your teachers, should have some say as to what happens in that school. You shouldn't want to be dictated to. If you disagree with something you should be able to say so without being verbally attacked or brushed off as a helicopter parent. As for a teacher paying taxes, thats contradictory, all that you are actually doing is not taking some of the tax payer dollars. Your "taxes" that you paid are someone elses taxes they already paid. I am shocked that people would rather go with the flow, instead of saying something just because its easier. That makes me sad. I really thought someone would agree with me that the schools are ours, the communities, not the school administrations. But if that is what the majority wants then thats how it goes. As long as I am allowed to home school I fine with that. I guess I'm to independent.

Seriously, you think all these other people are missing the point and that you're the only one who "gets it"?

What about all the people in the community who pay taxes but don't have children in the school? How much say should the elderly man around the block or the newly married couple down the street have to say about the school's policies on field trips?

I think you're missing the point--the benefit of public schools is not that your child gets a free education; it's that we get to live in an educated society. It benefits ALL of us.

And you get the most benefit from your tax dollars when you let the people who are educated and trained to do a job DO that job without interference from people who are self-entitled and self-centered.

 

[Aliceacc]

If you disagree with any policy, anywhere, there are normally procedures to re-evaluate those policies. In the case of public schools, there are school board meetings. Their calendar and their minutes are readily available. Please, attend the meetings and become active. I don't think I've ever heard of a school board complaining that too many people wanted to do the dirty work involved in running a district.

What you DON'T do is circumvent policies set up to keep children safe because you've decided they don't work for YOU. You keep in mind that there's a greater priority than your own whims. And you don't teach, by example, that rules are for OTHER people. That's a big factor in the Special Snowflake Syndrome we read about everywhere... the fervent belief that rules are for other people.

As to the two boys who were left behind on the field trip, two things:
- Had they told the teacher where they were going, she would have known.
- Had there been no parents there, the teacher could not have thought they had gone home with a parent.

Yes, she should have checked, and I'm sure everyone involved was terrified. But in this day and age, each chaperone should readily be able to reach every other chaperone via cell phone. But the hangers-on probably haven't included their cell phone numbers on the trip's master sheet, and therefore add another layer of difficulty to those teachers trying to keep kids safe. Thank goodness that there was no one else in that bathroom, with the intent of doing those two little boys harm. Had they let the teacher know where they were going, he or she could have ensured it.

 

[Aliceacc]

If you are "to independent" you might want to rethink homeschooling.

Too funny!!!

 

[712Alliance]

everyone that has a complaint about what I said is totally missing the point. It is not about following the teachers around at a field trip, its about spending time with your child and Taxes that are paid by you, parents in the community, to pay for your school and your teachers, should have some say as to what happens in that school. You shouldn't want to be dictated to. If you disagree with something you should be able to say so without being verbally attacked or brushed off as a helicopter parent. As for a teacher paying taxes, thats contradictory, all that you are actually doing is not taking some of the tax payer dollars. Your "taxes" that you paid are someone elses taxes they already paid. I am shocked that people would rather go with the flow, instead of saying something just because its easier. That makes me sad. I really thought someone would agree with me that the schools are ours, the communities, not the school administrations. But if that is what the majority wants then thats how it goes. As long as I am allowed to home school I fine with that. I guess I'm to independent.

Spending time with your child? If you want to spend time with your child, you take him or her to the zoo on your own time, not the school's time. That's not the purpose of field trips. I thought most people understood that when you send your child to school, you are agreeing to time spent away from your kid.

 

[dogluva]

Most people who volunteer to go on fieldtrip are suppose to have a background check and their name run through megans law. If you have family following the bus and hanging out with the kids, you dont know if one of those people are sex offenders because a background check wasnt done. Would you want your kid around little Tommys dad or family member who is joining the trip without a background check. I wouldnt.

Sometimes teacher will break kids up into groups and send them off with parents. I've seen some teachers get rid of all their kids and they with other teacher go enjoy themselves.

I've also been on fieldtrips and sometimes the kids act worse if parents show up and even worse if parents bring other siblings. It can get crazy with so many volunteers especially ones who arent responsible.

I have been teaching 23 years and have never seen a teacher go off by herself without any kids. That is crazy, field trips are so stressful for teachers, it is not even worth it sometimes. Last year we took third graders to the Duck Tours in Boston. Parents decided on their own to just show up and there was not enough seats for some of the kids. Parents just basically hopped on and it caused a huge problem. The school is never doing it again and it is because of the entitled parents who did not follow the rules. This is why policies change. Things that once worked out stop working because a few ruin it.

 

[Jedana]

DS's School policy is no volunteering without a background check. With the girls (so many years ago! ), this wasn't even a consideration--parents just helped out.

Also, if parents are chaperoning the field trips (2 so far this year--the zoo and a local farm), they drive behind the buses to the location. No parents on the bus. That's because they had a parent (at another school, a few years ago) show up to chaperone drunk. Teacher didn't know it, guy got on the bus with the kids and vomited on the bus, then proceeded to pass out.

So, now, no one not employed by the school district rides the bus. They put 2 sets of classes (2 classes per set, so 4 total classes of 18 or less, 4 teachers plus any aides they might have) on one bus with their teachers, and the teachers are split up--one set in the front, one in the middle and one in the back, in seats by themselves.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Depending on how strongly I disagreed I might just let it go or I might meet with the principal to discuss it or take it to the superintendent or board. Unless I felt my child was in danger while things were being worked out, I likely would continue sending my child to school.

In this particular case, I would send my child on the field trip. Knowing that more people often ads chaos and makes it harder to keep a group safe and that children area learning independence while at school, this is not an issue I would have any issue with. I MIGHT have had an issue with a school which did not prohibit parents from all tagging along on field trips if that had been disruptive.

 

[Nancyg56]

I have to say I am the extreme opposite of going along with the school, especially when it comes to my children. I believe I have final say as to what happens with my kids and take very unkindly to someone that tells me other wise. I don't understand why anyone would think someone knows what is best or could love them more than me. This particular policy isn't even about what is best for the kids but what is more convienent for the teachers. Besides we pay our taxes which pays the teachers salaries to do what we want in our schools not the other way around.

I am kind of shocked that you think that your needs and your wants in regards to your children trump every other parents and child's needs and wants. A field trip is anything but convenient for teachers. I believe that it is a logistical nightmare, which is magnified when any authority that they had is usurped by parents who are determined to "do what we want".

You do have the final say in may areas of your child's life, but if you have decided to entrust your child to the public school system in your town, the least that you can do is to attempt to follow rules that have been set into place to keep not only your child, but the others who attend school with your little darlings, safe.

I get you know what's best for your child, and showing up to "assist" with your child might be best for him/her. However, if you'e adding an additional unplanned for condition for the teachers/chaperones to have to deal with, thereby taking the field trip supervisors' eyes off of my child, well, I might have a problem with it. AFAIC, it's best to accept that the new policy is best for all of the kids and abide by it. It's really the less selfish thing to do.

Years ago i was the parent who went on all of the field trips. Well, until they got to be fun field trips .... Anyway, I was a little shocked when the teacher gave me a group of girls that did not include my DD, and then she suggested that the mom with my DD' group tag with me since my DD was assigned to her. What a nightmare that trip was. Mom took off with her DD and left me with 2 groups of girls................at the Big E. She never said a word, just left.

everyone that has a complaint about what I said is totally missing the point. It is not about following the teachers around at a field trip, its about spending time with your child and Taxes that are paid by you, parents in the community, to pay for your school and your teachers, should have some say as to what happens in that school. You shouldn't want to be dictated to. If you disagree with something you should be able to say so without being verbally attacked or brushed off as a helicopter parent. As for a teacher paying taxes, thats contradictory, all that you are actually doing is not taking some of the tax payer dollars. Your "taxes" that you paid are someone elses taxes they already paid. I am shocked that people would rather go with the flow, instead of saying something just because its easier. That makes me sad. I really thought someone would agree with me that the schools are ours, the communities, not the school administrations. But if that is what the majority wants then thats how it goes. As long as I am allowed to home school I fine with that. I guess I'm to independent.

We all get your point, we just don't agree that circumventing the school rules is appropriate. Good thing you want to homeschool because if you have issues with being asked to honor a school's request not to crash a field trip, you will probably hate the rest of the structure in place for the safety of all the kids, not just yours.

Sounds more like a scenario that your son and his friend were also too "independent" and took off to the bathroom without informing the group leader that they were leaving the group. Does he also believe that the teachers are his employees, therefore can do whatever he wants? I would love to hear the teacher's side of the story.

Exactly. There would be a problem a problem if this happened to my child, and if i found out that the kid did just take off, that problem would be with my child.

 

[NaLisa]

Just sent one of my DDs to school with a signed field trip permission slip, and it go me to thinking more about this thread. My kids go to a great public school in a very middle-class neighborhood. The zones in our district are drawn to increase diversity in each school, so while it's made up mostly of children from the neighborhood, there are also many children from lower-income areas. We also have a wonderful PTO that stages several successful fundraisers each year, and they help subsidize field trips for children whose parents cannot afford the fees (especially the weekend-long fifth grade field trip).

A lot of kids in public schools might never get to go to the zoo, national forest, aquarium or a theater production were it not for school field trips. The educational and cultural opportunities afforded can open their eyes to a while new world.

And it infuriates me that some parents are so caught up in their own needs and desires that they will jeopardize these important opportunities for all the other children in the school. After reading a few posts on this thread, it's completely understandable why some schools decide to eliminate field trips to avoid the hassle of dealing with selfish, difficult parents.

 

[712Alliance]

I always thought chaperoning a field trip was a circle of hell. My son's class is going to an art museum 45 minutes away, and there is no way ever I am going on that trip. Just thinking of all those 5th graders in one place gives me a headache.

 

[Nancyg56]

A lot of kids in public schools might never get to go to the zoo, national forest, aquarium or a theater production were it not for school field trips. The educational and cultural opportunities afforded can open their eyes to a while new world.

And it infuriates me that some parents are so caught up in their own needs and desires that they will jeopardize these important opportunities for all the other children in the school. After reading a few posts on this thread, it's completely understandable why some schools decide to eliminate field trips to avoid the hassle of dealing with selfish, difficult parents.

I agree. I loved accompanying my kids, and my nieces and nephews on their trips, but when I was not chosen, I never would have intruded. I certainly can understand why school systems would choose to eliminate them if they cannot get parents to respect the rules in place.

 

[Bonnie151]

Oh my! My 10 year old son is off on a week long school trip to France and Belgium as I type. I'm having visions of DH & I turning up at the youth hostel that they're staying and saying, "Surprise! We thought we'd come hover over you!".

I'm completely in agreement with a school implementing a no parents other than official chaperones policy. I've never heard of perents tagging along and can only imagine the headache and distraction it would cause for the teachers. It's hard enough looking after a group of kids without tag along parents adding confusion.

 

[Nancyg56]

I always thought chaperoning a field trip was a circle of hell. My son's class is going to an art museum 45 minutes away, and there is no way ever I am going on that trip. Just thinking of all those 5th graders in one place gives me a headache.

They really were! I was home so I was one of the parents who went on all of them until the trips started to be trips adults would enjoy. Then there were volunteers coming out of the woodwork, and I was not picked out of the hat....in a manner of speaking.
I did not mind going but honestly, if I was not there I would have been fine. My DGD went on her trip to the trash museum, and I was not sorry that my chaperoning days have come to en end

 

[FlightlessDuck]

While they can't stop parents from going somewhere public, I can see what kind of a headache it must be for parents who aren't chaperones to tag along and follow their children around. The children are there for a reason and should be free from distractions.

 

[momto3gr8boys]

Sounds more like a scenario that your son and his friend were also too "independent" and took off to the bathroom without informing the group leader that they were leaving the group. Does he also believe that the teachers are his employees, therefore can do whatever he wants? I would love to hear the teacher's side of the story.

Yes, I would too.

My mom's friend taught pre-K for 20 years at a private school with very entitled parents who felt the need to be as involved as possible, but who also felt they did not have to follow rules because they paid an exhorbitant tuition.

This is a Toddler-8th grade school where the teachers sit with the students at lunch - there are no aids. Once a year the teachers have an appreciation luncheon, run by parent volunteers. Some parents served the lunch to the teachers, others volunteered to oversee the students' lunches. The Pre-K does not eat in the main dining hall, but in a separate room in the school so it is smaller and not as chaotic. There were three classes of 12 kids each, and a parent for each table, of maybe 4-6 kids. The kids have assigned seating and it was normally a very organized process.

Enter the parents on this particular day. As the class walked to lunch, kids asked if their moms would be there, etc. One little girl asked, and my mom's friend said no, honey, your mom isn't here today as they entered the lunch area. After that chaos erupted, the parents started calling out to their kids to come and sit with their friends. The teachers told them there was assigned seating. They completely ignored it. The parents brought along younger siblings to lunch, despite being asked not to. Therefore there were not enough seats for the students. Kid were dragging chairs, running around, and administrators were pushing along the teachers to their special lunch and telling them not to worry, the parents had control.

Well, 30 minutes later when the teachers returned, they realized a kid was missing. It was the girl who asked if her mom would be there, and I guess she got upset because she wasn't. But no one saw her leave, no one caught that she was missing (she went back to the classroom to play), etc.

Had the assigned seating been honored, a kid would have noticed her missing given how routine oriented 4 and 5 year olds are, there also would have been a missing seat had it not been taken up by a two year old. Had the parents simply allowed the teachers to walk the students in without calling out and disrupting their normal routine, again, this wouldn't have happened. Had the administrators allowed the teachers to settle the kids in and done a headcount instead of "saving face" by saying the parents have this, this would not have happened. There were a million little things that went wrong, which all added up to a big wrong, and it was mainly the parents' faults. Could the teacher have gone back to check and done a head count a few minutes later? Yes, I will say that is possible, but given that this tradition went on for many years without issue, and she was told by her administrator to go enjoy lunch, she didn't do that.

The child in question was fine - as I said she was playing. But that is not acceptable - the panic that ensued until they found her was terrible. And as a result, the teacher in charge was suspended for 4 weeks while the school "investigated what went wrong" to appease the parents of the child. The administrators made her life so miserable, which was so unfair. As a result, policies were changed after this incident. And I can easily see why teachers just want to be left to do their jobs - too many cooks in the kitchen, as they say.

 

[RentFree]

Background checks are honestly one of the biggest examples of security theater I have ever heard of. In my own district, three teachers (two males and one female) have been accused of sexual relationships with high school students this year alone.

A background check is NOT going to keep your child safe in a public area where tons of other adults will be there in a target rich environment for predators. The same child that gets separated from the group could end up with a chaperone or another adult out for no good.

I must be a bad parent as my little sweet tart has spent the night with two different families for a week at a time in many cases and not once did I run background checks on the parents.

I am glad the school has this policy for only chaperones to attend. It makes the situation even worse when other parents show up and usurp the authority of the teacher as well as other chaperones just by being there.