If you cant afford the funeral-what are your options

[PixieTopaz]

Morbid question

edited-turns out he isnt as bad as was reported to all-but this was an interesting thread

 

[luvmy3]

Are you asking if the Funeral Home is going to force any living relative to pay for their services?

 

[mommymeg]

This is a scary topic, but one that sometimes we have to face when we least expect it.

4 years ago my BIL passed away suddenly, and we were kind of caught in the position of being the ones to handle the "arrangements". We decided that even though cremation would have been most affordable, embalming and a burial were more appropriate for the circumstances. We had to put enough money down to cover the cost of the burial plot, which was close to $1000, we actually put more down because we wanted to pay off as much as possible up front. The funeral home made payment arrangements for the remaining balance to be paid in full in 12 months. All said and done, our brother's death was $6000 for a modest burial at best. It saddens me to think that at the darkest times of their lives, families are forced to face a heavy financial burden as well. That is why I went out the next month and secured life insurance for everyone in our household. It doesn't have to be a big policy, but having enough to cover burial is important so that families can grieve without the added stress of how to pay for a burial.

 

[lucigo]

Cremation is going to be the most affordable option. If he had children the wife will begin receiving social security after his death, which should help her. If there is life insurance the funeral home will let you pay for the service when that comes in, if not find one that will take payments.

My husband had made his wishes known that he wanted to have a casket/burial so thats what I did, and I want to say it was around $6000, and I think I paid $6000 for his headstone, but its fancy, etched, color, etc. This was 10 years ago so it may be more now.

My current husband is retired military and he says if anything ever happens to him he wants a burial at sea. (I'm sure he is thinking military but I joke with him that I'll take a cruise to somewhere exotic and throw him off the back of a cruise ship.) Sorry I guess I have a morbid sense of humor, a coping mechanism for losing my first DH at 36yo.

I do have a point though, talk to your spouses so you know what they want, and get some life insurance, even if you can't afford a lot, at least a little.

 

[bettymae1121]

If her husband has a life insurance policy, I think the funeral home will go ahead with arrangements and then they get paid out of the policy first before anyone else, they make a claim on the estate or something like that.

If there isn't a policy, I'm not sure about a line of credit, but the two funeral homes my family delt with both took credit cards, so as long as she has a card with a bit of room on it, she could charge it and pay it off with the workman's comp claim later.

Cremation is by far the least expensive option, it's a fraction of the cost of a traditional burial. It's the only way I know of to signifigantly reduce the costs.

 

[buckler]

For budget funeral arrangements, look for info on the affiliate in your state here:
http://www.funerals.org/affiliates-directory/

You may need to register with one of these groups at least 30 days in advance of death to qualify for membership.

 

[Donaldswife]

I would think if he was hurt on the job resulting in injury that lead to death that the company would ultimately be responsible for some of the costs as well? I am not an attorney, and I don't endorse frivilous lawsuits, but it seems to me that if it was an on-the-job injury that the company's insurance would have to cover something as well.

 

[tinker&belle]

I know it is morbid and hard to think about, but DH's family went through something similar. His mother passed away and had no life insurance.

She had wanted to be cremated and we looked into different options around our city. They were still very expensive. We found our state had a cremation society who would do it for a very reasonable cost.

We went back to the funeral home we liked and told them we only needed their services to rent a room for the memorial. They asked our plans for the cremation and we told them. They offered to match the price and have it all taken care of by them, which we did.

It is a very difficult thing. I would recommend if it is inevitable to try to get as much taken care of ahead of time. When my brother died unexpectedly we spent so much money emotionally the day after we found out because we just told the funeral director to take care of it, we couldn't handle the thought of looking at coffins, etc. The clearer head you can have when making the selections the less you will regret it later.

 

[JamesMom]

My mother just passed away last month from late stage alzheimers. She had the means to pay for a big funeral, but that is not what we do in our family. We did an economy funeral in North Texas.

$650 - direct cremation with temporary urn (which be buried this summer in a family owned plot at no cost and no fanfare).
$0 - obituaries through the funeral home
$55 - for death certificates
Memorial at my home
$100 - Hospice chaplain gratiuty for eulogy
$250 - Floral arrangements
$300 - Food & Beverage afterwards (Central market catering platters & wine included plates, cups, etc)
$100 - Decorations - table cloths, tissues, candles, programs, guest book
$100 - Church donanation for Mass (she wasn't Catholic, but I am).


Used mine & families furniture to seat everyone and had dozens of family pictures/frames for the display table.

It was a lovely service and did what it was meant to do - honor my mom and help the family get through a trying time. We talked for hours after the service over wine and good food. All for a meager $1500.
Funerals with all the bells and whistles (viewing, upscale casket, memorial service, graveside service, limos, hearse, etc.) can easily cost upwards of $10,000. And for what? The memories and people are whats important - not the frills.
We just could not justify the cost for something she would not have wanted anyway. The party we had on Mardi Gra was EXACTLY what she would have loved.

 

[Hannathy]

who ever helps her make the arrangements should also help her go over the charges as it is being set up. There are a lot of "niceties" that can be eliminated from the services that aren't required only are nice to have but really add up incredibly fast and are very costly.

You can eliminate going to the cemetery, just have the service at the funeral home or church and save a lot of money. Or if you do go to the cemetery have the family driven by family and save the money the funeral home will charge to drive them. Watch which casket you pick out, they will show you the pricier ones on display BUT they have a book with simpler and less expensive ones. You don't need to buy a marker now that can be added later.

There are ways to save money but still have a lovely service, you just have to be clear headed something that is hard to do at this time.

 

[branv]

I would think if he was hurt on the job resulting in injury that lead to death that the company would ultimately be responsible for some of the costs as well? I am not an attorney, and I don't endorse frivilous lawsuits, but it seems to me that if it was an on-the-job injury that the company's insurance would have to cover something as well.

ITA. I don't know the circumstances of course, but if he dies as a result of injuries sustained on the job, and it was due to an error on the part of the employer, she definitely needs someone representing her families interest. You'd like to think these things can be settled fairly and amicably, but the truth is they probably have a lawyer representing them at this point, and if so, she shouldn't deal with them on her own if that is the case. If he qualified for workers comp, at the very least one would assume that the companies insurance would be liable to cover his medical and funeral costs. Again, this assumes the company was ultimately responsible to begin with.

Wishing the best for your family.

 

[dis-happy]

If a casket is a requirement, you can buy them online through Costco. Sounds funny but they have made a big business out of saving people money this way.

If they belong to a church I'd have a memorial service there.

Well wishes to all of you during this time.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

We asked this very questions of a friend of the family that works at a funeral home and she said there is such a thing as a pauper's burial, where the person is buried in a pine casket, no frills and small graveside/no service. I think there was little to no charge for this, because we were asking about people who have no money/family.

Suzanne

 

[richmond282]

Is there no life insurance? I'd check with his employer too. If it was a work-related injury that lead to his death, then there is some responsibility on their part I would think.

 

[reneebaker]

I would imagine that a direct cremation would be your best option. Is he on hospice? If so than the social worker should be able to help with the best options for your state. I know our Social workers for Missouri and Kansas have a Funeral home price directory. There is a LARGE difference in prices from funeral home to funeral home for the exact same thing. A direct cremation is pretty basic. They come and transport the body directly to the cremation site and then bring the ashes back to the home. No funeral or anything like that. But a lot of people hold a Celebration of Life in the home in lieu of a funeral. Good luck and I am sorry for your loss.

 

[Purseval]

In my part of the country we have the Cremation Society of the South, do a google for "cremation Society" to find one in your area

http://www.cssouth.com/

 

[dislal]

When my Dad passed away, he had no life insurance. He didn't want any kind of visitation (so that made it easier) We had him cremated and had a memorial service in our church.(Every year around his birthday or christmas I donate a little money to our church in his name) The church donated tons of things and with all the friends family and neighbors donating food we didn't need anything else.

We didn't involve the funeral home in the church, I know people who have done it this way and it still cost them $8000. We didn't even spend $1500 and we have him in a beautiful wooden box with his name engraved on it, and it will be buried with my mom. I always jokingly tell my mom that maybe I will just keep them both, because I like that I can go to my mom's house and still talk to my dad. I know maybe that is weird.

We still have people comment to us how beautiful his service was.

We kept it simple and cheap.

 

[horseshowmom]

I agree about cremation (which is my own preference), but I also recently read in the newspaper that you can choose to not have embalming done. The article said that was something like half the cost. Of course, the funeral must be held something like the next day (don't remember exactly). For someone who doesn't want cremation, this might be an option.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Another option my brother considered was donating his body to science - a medical school, I think. Once they were done, they would bury him, no cost. Instead, my bargain-hunting came in handy. I had gotten a double cremation plot at our local memorial park for something like an 80% discount; we did go to a local funeral home but had no viewing or service - just the funeral at the park, then people back to the house. Even though I was there, I don't recall the cost, but it was low.

 

[budbeerlady]

I agree about cremation (which is my own preference), but I also recently read in the newspaper that you can choose to not have embalming done. The article said that was something like half the cost. Of course, the funeral must be held something like the next day (don't remember exactly). For someone who doesn't want cremation, this might be an option.

That is true, in our state you are NOT required to be embalmed. Its unnecessary and a carcinogen. I have told my family over and over NOT to embalm me. No need to pay for something you do not need! OP, if he had insurance thru his company maybe it included a small life insurance policy. My last 2 jobs it was included with the medical/dental. It was only $5000 but that would help.