If money and health was no issue, what would be the maximum age you would be willing to have kids?

[tzolkin]

I don't think there's necessarily a perfect or maximum age. I think it's completely dependent on your particular life circumstances at that time and would vary wildly from one individual to another. Two people both at age 30 can be in completely different stages in life, so it may be a perfect time for one and an absolutely awful time for the other.

We were done at 25. Not because we were a certain age, not because we had a certain number of kids, but just because we felt we were done. I got an IUD "just in case" we changed our mind, but before I needed to swap out the IUD my husband got a vasectomy because we were absolutely certain. I think I was pretty "all in" for the baby stage-- stay-at-home mom, breastfed for an extended period, basically wore my babies on my body 24/7-- so once we were out of the baby stage I was completely done with it for good.

We are glad that we made the decision we did. It's really nice for our kids to be about self-sufficient and we are only 41/42. We can choose to not cook dinner or go out on a date or even go on vacation and not have to worry about the kids. Most of our peers (as well as my siblings) have small children and/or babies. I'm sure we could do it, but it just seems like it would be so much more exhausting. I also think we would definitely be way different as parents today-- much more lenient/permissive simply because we don't have the same energy or self-expectations we did in our early-20s.

Both my sisters-in-law didn’t married until their mid 30’s. The oldest who is 73 has a 37 year old daughter who also hasn’t married yet or had any kids. I hope she gets to become a grandmother some day cause I know she would really love that.

I know we didn't really think much of it back when we were having our kids, but we have started thinking about ages and grandchildren ourselves now that our kids are getting older. I'm sure most people would be horrified to know that my parents were only 36 when they found out they were having their first grandchild, but it was great for our kids to have grandparents that young. It also was wonderful because our kids spent their entire childhood enjoying their great-grandparents as well.

My mom now at only 61 has some major health issues and is no longer really mobile and both the great-grandparents passed away last year. So, my nieces and nephews are not able to have the same grandparent and great-grandparent experiences/relationships that my kids did.

from personal experience-it would be dependent on how old my hypothetical parents were when they had me.

if you are born to older parents (in my real life case-mom approaching 40, dad in his 50's), even if you have your children in your early 20's you may be dealing with parenting both your children and at least one of your parents at the same time. no amount of health or money on your own part can be of assistance with the struggles.

This is certainly something that people should be aware of. My grandparents lived with my parents and needed care and financial support for probably 20+ years. My parents were able to do that mainly because they got married young and had all their kids before they were 25, so we were all teens to young adults by the time my grandparents needed care. Their siblings were not in a position to help because they had young children and both spouses worked full time.

 

[mefordis]

If money and your health was no issue, what would be the maximum age you would be willing to have kids?

up to age 40.

 

[mefordis]

30 for me.

I had mine at 25 and 27 and it was perfect. They are both special needs kids and will need support for a LONG time and I hope to be around until they are both little old men themselves.

It's a scary prospect to think about a future for my son's without me amd my husband around, so hopefully by the time we go, our kids will be independent and able to manage without us.

I know several older parents of special needs kids and they worry about not being around SO much. One of my friends was around 47 when her daughter was born the same year as my son. She's now pushing 65 with an 18 year old who is nowhere near being self sufficient. I can't imagine.

You sound like great parents who have done (and do) so much for your sons. I am sure they will be fine since you are investing so much to set them up for success.

 

[Silvermist999]

DH and I discussed this after we got married and we wanted to reduce our risks of any health issues, etc. so our target age for our last child was age 35 for me. Money never entered the family planning discussion for us.

 

[leahgoogle]

My first was born when I was 28. My last when I was 35. I wish I would have started earlier. 35 doesn't seem like it's old, but it was a lot harder on me than when I was 28 or 32 (my middle DD was born when I was 32). If I had to do it over, I would start earlier so my last would be born when I was max 30 years old.