IEP help

[Crazy4Disney72]

My DS 11 is diagnosed with PDD-NOS and borderline intellectual functioning. He has been in special ed. since he was 3 (and speech and other therapies before that) and is currently in a neurologically impaired classroom and attends an after school autism treatment program three afternoons a week. He is in the 5th grade but the class is mixed 3rd through 6th grades so he will get to stay with the same teacher next year.

We have our annual IEP meeting next week and the teacher asked me if I had anything I wanted to see addressed at the meeting. In general, DH and I are absolutely thrilled with the progress DS is making in this classroom with this teacher, it is a perfect fit for him. We spent years being frustrated with the system and how it didn't seem to be doing the right things for DS, we even moved from MD to PA two years ago because there is so much more help available here.

The only issue we have is homework. Due to the autism program, DS gets home from school on M, W, and Th at about 7:20 at night. At this time he usually needs to eat dinner (sometimes they take a field trip to a restaurant or have a meal at the center as part of their social skills/lifeskills work) and then do his homework. If I don't have him upstairs and in the shower by 8:00, he generally melts down or just totally shuts down. I'm serious, he's fallen asleep at the table, on the steps going up the stairs or even while sitting on the toilet. It's like when he's done, he's just done, it comes on with very little warning and he just crashes. Because of this my evenings are filled with much anxiety hoping we get in the necessary things before he goes to bed, or even hoping he even makes it up the steps to bed as at 94lbs I can no longer carry him up the stairs. There have been nights he's slept in his clothes because he makes it up there but is on the verge of a full-fledged meltdown if I push for a shower or even pjs on and teeth brushed. Most times, he does his homework the next morning and he's much fresher and generally in a cooperative mood. This year that hasn't been too much of a problem as his homework most nights consists of writing his 11 spelling words 2x each and perhaps a math ditto. Some nights there is also speech therapy homework.

Sometimes we just can't get it done, no time in the evening or the next morning. I will write the teacher a note and he's been very understanding, but I always feel bad about it. I am wondering if it's reasonable or even possible to have it put in the IEP that homework is only given 1 night a week or only on weekends or something like that. On Tuesdays when DS is home at 4:00 we have no problem getting the homework done and bedtime is also not a problem because we can start by 7:00.

Is this asking too much, is homework something that just has to be done? Even if we make it through next year with much the same system as this year, doing it in the mornings when necessary and writing notes to the teacher when it's not, because it's the same teacher that might work, I wonder about the future when presumably even more homework would be given and maybe not as understanding of a teacher. DS's after school program is so good for him, and it continues through high school and I want him to continue to attend. To me it is far more beneficial for him to be there and get that therapy than it is for him to do homework. I understand that homework is a reinforcement of what was learned in school, but in DS's case, there are just so many hours in the day and other things are just as important if not more important. Is there any chance the school will see it that way as well?

 

[teachallday]

It sounds to me like you don't have an IEP problem or homework problem. You have a problem yourself. The teacher is okay with you writing a note saying you didn't get to the homework that night. So, all is good. Don't make this an issue if you are the only one who has a problem with this. Frome what you have said, everyone else seems okay with him not doing his homework on those nights.

>>I will write the teacher a note and he's been very understanding, but I always feel bad about it.<<

You said it yourself. YOU feel bad, not your son or the teacher. My advice is to get over it and only address it in the IEP if it is a problem.

I assign very similar homework to my SpEd students. I could careless if they do it. I know they get a better spelling score on Friday when they do their homework, but for me Homework is not necesarry. I reward kid (with a sticker) if they do it, but do not punish them if it does not come in. I always feel it is the parents responsibility to get the kid through the homework, and if they felt homework wasn't important that night, that is okay with me.

 

[bookwormde]

It is becoming more broadly accepted in both the clinical and educational communities that the cost benefit analysis of homework for our children is not the same as for neurotypical children. First with the double duty our children do all day working on both academic an non academic curriculum and of times after school therapies and supports, by the time they hit the door at home they are completely burn out and have heightened level of anxiety. My son gets at least 2 hours of decompression time before attempting any homework, if that means waiting to morning to try any that is fine. This is when we do the majority of his homework. We also have a statement that due to his need to decompress after school that homework is done on an “as valuable, practical and appropriate” as determined by us in his IEP. We really do not necessarily need it this year since the teachers understand the impact of him coming to school “pre-stressed” but it saves the heightened anxiety that comes along with “re-demonstrating” this at the beginning of each school year. We also as part of this “pick and choose" the portions of the homework that have the best cost benefits characteristics.

Do not feel guilty, typical homework is not designed and developed for our children and you are saving the teaching staff a lot of time and effort by individualizing it for your child by selecting the parts and portions that your child does. Any teacher that really “gets” autism will appreciate this and the IEP statement gives them “cover” in case they run into an administrator who does not “get it”

bookwormde

 

[Piper]

I would definitely get something in writing in the IEP. A statement such as bookwormde would be great!

It might not make a difference now or even next year....but it might make all the difference down the road.

And your stressing out over homework just shows how much you care and want to do the right thing. I love parents like you!! I'd rather have a room full of parents who actually have concerns about their child's school progress than one who just doesn't care.......and yes, there are plenty of the latter out there!

 

[BeckyScott]

While you might not need it at this point, it might be a good idea to have it put into the IEP anyway. To set precendence.

It sounds like they're aware of your problem and that will help you a lot. I'm not sure what the typical modification would be. But I'd ask for something specific in the IEP. Bring up all the possiblities you mentioned-- I would say either giving him "every other problem" so it's half-length or giving him an extra day to complete it, you could probably work with that.

It's all good now, but what happens when he hits middle school and you get a cranky teacher??? I'd take this year to get it all set up and figured out so that it's in place already.

I have a dear friend whose son is in middle school and there were some major problems when he got old enough to have 5-6 different teachers. Some were very cooperative, but there was always one that thought it was their option to ignore the IEP. Yes, we all know they can't do that. But then, the kid has to tell her it happened (and who knows how many times he didn't tell her), she calls the school and tries to get hold of the teacher, the principal, the SpEd teacher, the counselor... anyone who will answer the phone. And ends up leaving messages but gets no one in person. And the next day maybe one of them calls her back, and says they'll talk to so-and-so, the right person, but the end result is that the whole thing gets blown off or there's some lame excuse. And then two weeks later it happens again.

So while things are going okay now, the first rule of IEP's is "if it isn't in writing, it didn't happen". I would totally take advantage of the good situation you're in now, to get something in writing. So that it's there for reference going into 7th grade, so that school knows about it, and so it is addressed right from the start.

 

[1stluvispooh]

I too would get something in the IEP. This year has been an extreme learning year for what to put in the IEP. We didn't put anything in it this year about homework, but then again it only became an issue after Christmas break and her current teacher said if she comes home from school and is done then she's done don't worry about it we will work on it the next day. Which they do do. And for us she generally wont do her homework on Mondays, Wednesdays or on the weekend. This upsets her NT brother more than anyone. He is afraid she will get in trouble or sometimes it the "why do I have to do my homework and she doesn't" Sometimes it just takes me acting like I don't care if she does it or not. That kids keeps me on my toes! So I would agree with teachallday, don't worry about it because it's not an issue with the teacher, but CYB for next year.

 

[Crazy4Disney72]

It sounds to me like you don't have an IEP problem or homework problem. You have a problem yourself. The teacher is okay with you writing a note saying you didn't get to the homework that night. So, all is good. Don't make this an issue if you are the only one who has a problem with this. Frome what you have said, everyone else seems okay with him not doing his homework on those nights.

>>I will write the teacher a note and he's been very understanding, but I always feel bad about it.<<

You said it yourself. YOU feel bad, not your son or the teacher. My advice is to get over it and only address it in the IEP if it is a problem.

I assign very similar homework to my SpEd students. I could careless if they do it. I know they get a better spelling score on Friday when they do their homework, but for me Homework is not necesarry. I reward kid (with a sticker) if they do it, but do not punish them if it does not come in. I always feel it is the parents responsibility to get the kid through the homework, and if they felt homework wasn't important that night, that is okay with me.

THIS year I might be the only one to have a problem with it, but who knows what next year will bring, or in future years. Right now, school is a good and positive experience for my DS, but we've suffered through many years of insensitive, clueless teachers who just did not understand the extent of DS's problems and would punish him for things he had little control over. I do not want to go back to that, for school to be a negative thing, we've come too far for that. I was just wondering if it was possible to have some kind of formal protection from nightly homework, or at least from being penalized in any way for not completing it. From what I'm reading here, other people have in fact gotten this written into IEP's so I'm going approach DS's team with it at our meeting and see where it goes. I was really just asking to see if I was way off base in even suggesting something like this be written into an IEP, but apparently I'm not if it has been done before.

Thanks to everyone for your input and if anyone has any further insight or suggestions, please let me know!

 

[NJtoATL]

Just to add my two cents, have another IEP meeting to include the homework modification. Things happen over the summer. Your child may be assigned to another teacher who has a strict homework policy. Also, parents "talk" about their children and the teachers that educate them. ie- Ms. Jones gave my son X amount of homework. Ms. Wilson gave my daughter XXX amount of homework. PROBLEM!!! Just have that modification about the homework included in the IEP. It will make the life of your child, the teacher, and the administrator better.

 

[robin09]

You could've written this message for me. DD10 is in 4th grade, has aspergers, ocd, sensory problems... She comes home with little if no homework. The teacher says she does enough in class. She is in a classroom with 2 - 5th grade. 1 teacher 3 aides and 8 kids.

I worry that she doesn't do enough. Her grades are high, but this years IEP, I acutally asked them if they were inflating her grades just to pass her!. They looked ast me as if I were crazy, and asked why? I told them when she comes home, she can NOT even add 7 and 3 without counting on her fingers. According to them, she adds, subrtacts, multiplies... I think you get it. Anyway, they looked at me and said she is compartmentizing herself. In short, she does schoolwork in school, and at home she is home and needs to relax, her abilities (math) end when the school day ends!

I find it amazing how the brain works.

I think you have a good match with your sons' teacher but agree with others that for the future you need to have it in the IEP, this way homework willnot become a big issue in the future.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Most IEP software has some kind of standard modification form and homework is typically one of hte options. Absolutely ask for a modification. I would ask that on nights he attends the autism program that no homework be assigned or that he have longer to complete it. As others have said, you are very lucky to have an understanding teacher right now, that may not be the case for next year.

Homework can be modified in many ways:

-a smaller amount
-extended time
-modified grading system
-etc.

That's the point of the IEP: It is individualized. It's not about what the regular classroom teacher thinks "has" to be done, it is about what is the right thing for that child. Clearly the amount of homework he receives is not right for him.

 

[Schmeck]

Just don't forget to consider the ramifications of accommodations for the child's future - what are your goals for your child as a young adult? An IEP ends after high school (which could be until age 21 or 22 in some states) and then what? Employers are not looking for employees with a list of needs and accommodations, they want someone who can do the job, especially in this economy.

If your child will not be going into the workforce (or college) after they age out at school, then think of what skills they would need to go into an available program. Most work done at an assisted program is modified to meet a disabled person's needs, so an accommodation made at the school level will not be detrimental at the program level.

 

[Crazy4Disney72]

Just don't forget to consider the ramifications of accommodations for the child's future - what are your goals for your child as a young adult? An IEP ends after high school (which could be until age 21 or 22 in some states) and then what? Employers are not looking for employees with a list of needs and accommodations, they want someone who can do the job, especially in this economy.

If your child will not be going into the workforce (or college) after they age out at school, then think of what skills they would need to go into an available program. Most work done at an assisted program is modified to meet a disabled person's needs, so an accommodation made at the school level will not be detrimental at the program level.

DS will definitely not be going to college and likely not into the regular workforce, I'm sure he will always need some kind of program with modifications, or maybe if he is in the regular workforce, some kind of repetitive task job. I just want him to continue to have a positive experience with school so that he doesn't just shut down and not even want to try. I want him to have the best chance of reaching his full potential.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

While such things certainly need to be taken into consideration, the child is 11. Goals are updated every year. As a child meets the goals or circumstances change and the goal is no longer needed it is changed. I have that situation with an IEP I am writing right now. You should never be afraid to ask for what you need because of fear what will happen in the future.

No later than a child's 16th birthday a transition plan must be put in place and these issues will be addressed. You have plenty of time between now and then to help him become more independent, the impotant thing right now is making sure he has whatever he needs to access the curriculum.

I woudl also like to add that there are plenty of employers out there who are willing to make modifications. Typically the family or individual can go through vocational rehab. You would be surprised the employers out there that are willing to make modifications for individuals. I know many individuals from my days subbing in Life Skills rooms with what some might consider excessive modifications who are now indpendent and holding down jobs. Modifications in school do not have to be roadblocks to holding a job later in life.

 

[Schmeck]

I agree, but have witnessed some students having a very rude awakening to the 'real world' when their IEP no longer covers their issues. Sometimes parents ask for too much to be accommodated, the child gets used to not being pushed to achieve, and by the time the transition part comes around, skills are not in place for an appropriate transition. I am not saying that this is the situation for the OP, just that I've seen it happen.

 

[BeckyScott]

The specific prob at hand is homework, though. Some jobs do have "homework", but lots of 'em don't. There are plenty of jobs where, when you clock out, you don't have to think a thing about your job until the next day when you clock in again. And they're not all lower-level jobs.

However, I will back Schmeck up enough to say that having a goal sheet is something the Wrightslaw people recommend. Hard to reach a goal if you don't have one, and having it in writing makes it more real.

I will also say that working at a community college, I have witnessed more than once, students who have been IEP'ed and then start college with nothing more than a couple of ADA accomodations, plus being responsible for their own advocacy for the first time, and what a problem that can be. However, even in that case... our local service agency's philosophy they call "the right to fail"... They have a right to try it and figure out for themselves whether it's possible or not.

I know around here, once a child hits 9th grade, they start going into tracks, I guess you'd call them, depending on the child's interest. And for lots of kids, especially those on the spectrum, being interested in the subject helps considerably when it's time for homework. So while the amount of homework increases as the child gets older, once they get to a grade where there is more freedom to pick classes, it might make it easier. And just because it's on an IEP now doesn't mean it stays forever. Most schools, I'd think, would try to scoot that back off later, and then at some point you'll run into a teacher who ignores it anyway. And honestly, who even looks at a 5th grade report card? "I'm sorry sir, we'd love to hire you for this cushy job, but we pulled your 5th grade report card and noticed you got a D." An employer isn't going to know what's been on an IEP, not unless you tell them.

Our school district is very anti modified curriculum unless it is a dire situation, and I imagine modifying homework would fall under that category. We struggle with it too. If DS was otherwise occupied until 7 for 3 nights a week, I don't know how we could possibly get all his homework done. As it is, we've dumped every evening activity possible, unless there's no choice, because even getting out of school at 3 we're pushing it.

But honestly, who is it that thinks (or I guess they aren't thinking) that a child can go to school all day, do a program until 7:00 (and it's not like they don't know where he is or that he's out goofing off), then come home, eat, take a bath, do homework, and still get to bed at a reasonable time? And that's with no wind-down at all. The school should have seen this coming. And even the autism program should be aware of the strain that it causes and try to address it somehow. It might work in 2nd grade, but by 5th grade there's much more homework to do. I imagine that Crazy, you aren't the only family having a problem, and for all you know the other parents have already put the homework into the IEP. Do you know other parents who have kids in that program? Ask them what they do.