I wish for world peace. Please let it start with homework.

[OceanAnnie]

What tips do you have to share about having a stress free, peaceful homework time? I'd love to hear any and all tips.

I have to be "present" for any work to get done. The kids are tired and disinterested in sitting at the table to get the tasks done. It takes so looonnng. I have them in different rooms and I'm bouncing from room to room to monitor progress. They have to be in different rooms or they will be distracted.

While that is going on, I'm cooking dinner.

Coaching, goading, encouraging, redirecting, rewarding, you name it, I've tried it. I have a vision of getting it all done in a timely and effective manner, but it just doesn't materialize.

Any homework tips for peaceful, timely homework sessions? TIA!

 

[mjkacmom]

What has always worked for us is to do it right after school, when they're still in school mode.

 

[rszdtrvl]

I hear you!!

My son missed 2 classes last Thursday, and that Friday due to being sick (high fever).

I kid you not - he JUST caught up on all of his work last night.

He is in Algebra and is having a tough time of it. Luckily, his teacher stays after school 4 out of 5 times a week to give kids extra help. On any day, she has 5-6 kids after school. I was unsure about him advancing to Algebra, because he had a tough time in Pre-Algebra, but I was willing to let him advance as long as he had the teacher he got (which I requested for him to have).

He has been staying an hour after school to get the Algebra help. And possibly do other work.

If he still has work left, he does it after dinner.

He is supposed to be practicing guitar 15min/day, and honestly, yesterday was the first day since Monday he had to practice, due to homework.

In October, after conferences, "Homework Club" starts after school, and he is definitely joining. His counselor agrees that it is best for him.

He is a super smart kid, but has a tough time buckling down and getting his work done, especially when he does not understand it 100%. I am hoping that he gets the hang of Algebra this year - that is my one school wish for him.

Maybe check and see if your children's school has an after school program? That way they can work with their peers and teachers, and at least someone will be there to help them out. Plus, I think kids are less apt to snap and grumble a lot to an "authority figure" aka : teacher, than their parents.

I totally know what you are going through.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Yup, ITA with having it done right after school. All the more incentive to finish it so they can go on with the fun stuff in the evening. I always did mine right away, just to get it over with.

DS isn't adjusting to that policy very well, but no tv, games, fun stuff until the homework is done completely and neat. I'll make him redo it if it's messy.

 

[OceanAnnie]

What has always worked for us is to do it right after school, when they're still in school mode.

They were doing it right after school, while eating their snack. Lately, they have been wandering off to play for a few minutes while I unpack their backpacks/lunch boxes and get their homework assignments in order. It's very hard to get them back into the mindset when they have tasted the least bit of freedom. I do feel for them.

I have explained if we get it done early, you will have more free time later. I just think it's hard for them to see that when they want free time now. Like I said, I do feel for them. They have been in school all day and the last thing they want to do is sit and prolong it.

But I do agree, they need to do it first thing. Once they relax they get more tired and even less inclined to press forward with homework.

I was getting them to unpack their things. It took too much time. It became all about bathroom breaks, shedding socks, and picking up on things that interest them. Things were strewn about and there was no progress. So I just took over. I need to get them back to doing it.

I hear you!!

My son missed 2 classes last Thursday, and that Friday due to being sick (high fever).

I kid you not - he JUST caught up on all of his work last night.

He is in Algebra and is having a tough time of it. Luckily, his teacher stays after school 4 out of 5 times a week to give kids extra help. On any day, she has 5-6 kids after school. I was unsure about him advancing to Algebra, because he had a tough time in Pre-Algebra, but I was willing to let him advance as long as he had the teacher he got (which I requested for him to have).

He has been staying an hour after school to get the Algebra help. And possibly do other work.

If he still has work left, he does it after dinner.

He is supposed to be practicing guitar 15min/day, and honestly, yesterday was the first day since Monday he had to practice, due to homework.

In October, after conferences, "Homework Club" starts after school, and he is definitely joining. His counselor agrees that it is best for him.

He is a super smart kid, but has a tough time buckling down and getting his work done, especially when he does not understand it 100%. I am hoping that he gets the hang of Algebra this year - that is my one school wish for him.

Maybe check and see if your children's school has an after school program? That way they can work with their peers and teachers, and at least someone will be there to help them out. Plus, I think kids are less apt to snap and grumble a lot to an "authority figure" aka : teacher, than their parents.

I totally know what you are going through.

One of the kids missed 2 days and it was awful trying to catch up on everything! Classwork and homework! Finally got that done. I don't think the school has an after school program like you describe. But it's worth checking into!

Math can be such a toughie. So many concepts build on one another. I hope Algebra gets easier for your DS.

Yup, ITA with having it done right after school. All the more incentive to finish it so they can go on with the fun stuff in the evening. I always did mine right away, just to get it over with.

DS isn't adjusting to that policy very well, but no tv, games, fun stuff until the homework is done completely and neat. I'll make him redo it if it's messy.

Yes, I know about the tv and computer. It's off limits until the homework is done. I'm thinking about a reward program where they can earn a little time if they get their work done.

Well, I do let them get on the computer for educational games. And I stay with them to make sure that's where they are!

 

[powellrj]

I know my answer isn't going to be popular, but I don't monitor homework after the 5th grade. If you have a question or a problem or want help, I will help you, but you are on your own as to weather it gets done or not.

My oldest was the worst when it came to homework. There were tears and fights and it was just ugly and that was when I just walked away and told them they were on their own. If it didn't get done, it was up to you to tell the teacher.

Once they realized I meant business, they were all the sudden able to get it done on their own. I still help out with projects, but I don't check it unless asked and then its usually just to proofread.

 

[BellvilleDad]

I've always doubted the effectiveness of hours of homework. As others have said, after being in school all day, a kid needs a break. Sure, do a few math problems and read a chapter for tomorrow's science lesson in the evening, but hours of further work?

It's idiotic.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I know my answer isn't going to be popular, but I don't monitor homework after the 5th grade. If you have a question or a problem or want help, I will help you, but you are on your own as to weather it gets done or not.

My oldest was the worst when it came to homework. There were tears and fights and it was just ugly and that was when I just walked away and told them they were on their own. If it didn't get done, it was up to you to tell the teacher.

Once they realized I meant business, they were all the sudden able to get it done on their own. I still help out with projects, but I don't check it unless asked and then its usually just to proofread.

I'm hoping to get to that point eventually. The oldest is in 3rd grade.

It's hard. Sometimes I really think they look at homework as punishment. I tell them it isn't. But I'm sure it feels like it. I do explain why they have it and all of that. I'm sure they just look at it as this massive unwanted chore. I know that's how I felt as a kid and I didn't have nearly as much as they do!

Quite often the homework seems excessive to me. But I really have to step back and look at how long it should take vs how long the whole process is taking due to digging in their heels in protest. I think if I could show them a visual of some sort maybe it would click.

 

[laughinplace199]

OP, how old are your kids?

Our routine is to come home, have a snack, then the kids go through their own backpacks, taking out lunch boxes, notices, etc.. After that, they start homework. They started off doing their homework in the kitchen when they were in K-2, but after that, they began doing it in their rooms. They come and find me if they have a question (although DS9 often prefers to ask DD11 for help instead of asking me!).

Perhaps if your kids are part of the unpacking/organizing process, they won't have the opportunity to wander off. Plus, doing it on their own can be a great confidence boost.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I've always doubted the effectiveness of hours of homework. As others have said, after being in school all day, a kid needs a break. Sure, do a few math problems and read a chapter for tomorrow's science lesson in the evening, but hours of further work?

It's idiotic.

I know! I wish they could go outside and play. Have some fun. They aren't getting much of a break after school.

Granted, I think it's the process of getting them to attend. But it is still a lot, and I think when they see the "mountain" they buck the whole thing. I can't say that I blame them. But the work still has to be done.

I wish there were a way to get it done quicker and they have time to be kids!

 

[Pumbaa_]

How old are the kids? And I agree, growing up homework was my responsibility. Do it, don't you are the one punished in school.

Have you talked to the kids? What do they suggest? It is easy to fight with you since you are the one telling them to do it.

Time to have a family meeting. School is their job and that includes homework. How do they plan on getting it done since it is no longer Mom's job to monitor or enforce?

 

[OceanAnnie]

OP, how old are your kids?

Our routine is to come home, have a snack, then the kids go through their own backpacks, taking out lunch boxes, notices, etc.. After that, they start homework. They started off doing their homework in the kitchen when they were in K-2, but after that, they began doing it in their rooms. They come and find me if they have a question (although DS9 often prefers to ask DD11 for help instead of asking me!).

Perhaps if your kids are part of the unpacking/organizing process, they won't have the opportunity to wander off. Plus, doing it on their own can be a great confidence boost.

They were unpacking and organizing. The wandering off task came with bathroom breaks and just wanting a few minutes to themselves. I do want to get them back to doing it for themselves.

There should be a happy medium though. I do think they should be able to have a few minutes to themselves when they get home. That's what coming home should feel like. The ahhh. Sigh.

 

[OceanAnnie]

How old are the kids? And I agree, growing up homework was my responsibility. Do it, don't you are the one punished in school.

Have you talked to the kids? What do they suggest? It is easy to fight with you since you are the one telling them to do it.

Time to have a family meeting. School is their job and that includes homework. How do they plan on getting it done since it is no longer Mom's job to monitor or enforce?

They are in second and third grade.

We have had family meetings. Of course I've talked with them quite a bit about it! We have had many talks. They have had suggestions. Waiting is the primary theme, which doesn't work.

 

[ilovejack02]

They are in second and third grade.

We have had family meetings. Of course I've talked with them quite a bit about it! We have had many talks. They have had suggestions. Waiting is the primary theme, which doesn't work.

3rd grade boy here.
FOr now I have quit talking : ) . I set up a schedule on a white board and hung on wall. He has his own alarm clock, he gets up and starts his day, gets dressed , makes bed , bathroom , pick up dirty clothes and meets me in kitchen at 7 am .

When he looks like he is getting off schedule , I just remind him to look at board.

I am amazed, but it is working great!!!!!! He likes the schedule and not having to hear me remind him what he needs to be doing etc all day long.

He started homework 30 mins after he got home, but we have figured out works out best when he starts the minute he gets home, so we have adjusted schedule .

Beginning of year was rocky, you might have read my post on it lol. But this new schedule is working out AWESOME. Can't believe I didn't do this sooner , once I put my serious Momma face on and quit talking all the time and prodding and poking him into doing stuff, he got with the program. Go figure, of course it isn't 100% perfect, but the consequences are also all clearly spelled out on board , if you don't stay on schedule and get homework done. He seems like to being more responsible for himself.

 

[golfgal]

What has always worked for us is to do it right after school, when they're still in school mode.

Same here-get a snack and do your homework while eating. Our twins are really good about doing homework and I think a lot of that comes from getting homework daily in kindergarten. It was a worksheet that took all of maybe 5 minutes to complete but it got them into the habit of doing it.

For our oldest, 15 minutes of homework done right after school took 15 minutes, that same homework done after dinner took 3 hours.

 

[Pigeon]

I've always doubted the effectiveness of hours of homework. As others have said, after being in school all day, a kid needs a break. Sure, do a few math problems and read a chapter for tomorrow's science lesson in the evening, but hours of further work?

It's idiotic.

Amen. And I think as a society we look at this exactly backwards. The school has our kids at least seven hours a day. If they cannot get done what they need to get done in seven hours, they should reexamine what they are doing. How family time is spent should be determined by families, not by the schools.

And there is very little evidence that doing much homework, particularly in elementary school, has an impact on academic achievement. The amount of homework my kids get is staggering. The only impact it has is negative--math anxiety in particular.

 

[rodeo65]

I know my answer isn't going to be popular, but I don't monitor homework after the 5th grade. If you have a question or a problem or want help, I will help you, but you are on your own as to weather it gets done or not.

My oldest was the worst when it came to homework. There were tears and fights and it was just ugly and that was when I just walked away and told them they were on their own. If it didn't get done, it was up to you to tell the teacher.

Once they realized I meant business, they were all the sudden able to get it done on their own. I still help out with projects, but I don't check it unless asked and then its usually just to proofread.

I do this too. It works quite well. Once you take away the confrontation and they realize they will have to answer to the teacher, they are pretty quick to want to get it done. DS has ADHD, so my policy with him is I am happy to help as long as he is keeping on task. If he gets into distracting himself, I just say "looks like you're not ready for my help right now, call me when you are". Sometimes it redirects him, sometimes not, but it does save a lot of tears and drama.

Thankfully DD loves her teacher and her work, in fact often will work ahead in her book, just 'cause. Sometimes I feel bad that DS gets so much more of my attention on this than she does, but I guess you support where it is needed and he has greater needs.

I've always doubted the effectiveness of hours of homework. As others have said, after being in school all day, a kid needs a break. Sure, do a few math problems and read a chapter for tomorrow's science lesson in the evening, but hours of further work?

It's idiotic.

I agree but I never let my kids know that. I have also stopped homework sessions that drag on too long or get too confrontational and have sent a note into the teacher myself telling them why it didn't get done.

Now that we have an ILP in place for DS and accommodations for school, we are working on homework accomodations as well. He does the same pages as the other kids but skips every other question. To me (and his teacher) this is plenty to see if he gets the concepts. Doing 40 instead of 80 math questions is good enough! Repeitive memory stuff like multiplication flash we do on the computer which is more fun for them.

OceanAnnie, I have also found that once different concepts are mastered they are much more open to doing the work because it becomes "easy" for them. Math in particular can be such a struggle, even for my homework loving DD, when the concepts are new. Can you ask for extra review in class to make sure your kids are on top of the concepts? Or for math review try some of the online stuff?

softschools.com has a great mad minute game that DS loves. He goes on and "plays" lots of rounds to try and beat his score.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

OMG you have just described my house and kids to a T. I wish I knew a magic answer to really get the kids motivated, but I don't. My kids are in first, second and fourth grade and it is a struggle almost every day. It's not that the homework is hard, it's just that they would rather be outside playing, using the computer, or doing just about anything other than homework (including hiding in the bathroom).

This year's been a real problem for my fourth grader who has always excelled in school in the past. They are trying to teach them to be more independant, but half the time she doesn't know what her homework assignment is (unless it is a work sheet she has brought home). Her friends are having the same trouble, so many nights I end up on the phone with other moms trying to figure out what they are supposed to be doing.

If anyone has a good answer to the OP's question, please share!! I'm tired of this struggle also but I want my kids to do well in school.

 

[clori]

My oldest is in 5th grade. We had our share of homework hassles from time to time thru 3rd grade. Last year was a dream and this year so far so good. I used to have dd come home and do homework right after school/snack time.

In 4th grade dd asked if she could try doing her homework after dinner every day unless we had special plans. I told her we would try it. Amazingly that was the end of any hassles. Homework also seemed much quicker because dd wasn't so distracted. I think she just really needed time away from academics to regain focus. I don't sit with dd but she knows she can ask me/dh for help if she has any questions and I don't mind helping her with things like quizzing for a test if asked.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

I also agree with some of the previous posters that homework can sometimes be out of control. It really burns me when my kids come home with work that is busy work and that they really aren't learning anything from.

Suprisingly, one of the worst culprits for my oldest dd is AIG. Her AIG teacher assigns the kids stuff that takes a long time to do, but is essentially pointless. It's bad enough that I am hesitant to have my younger kids tested because it will just mean more hoops for them to jump through with very little benefit to the kids (from what I have seen).