I need some potty training advice...! Please, pretty please!

[Pembo]

Every child is different, every child learns to potty train differently. I have 3 kids - 2 boys and a girl. Everyone said "the girl will be the easiest". She was the hardest of the three. She knew when she was wet, she knew when she was going, she knew what she had to do. She was stubborn. One morning she sat on the potty for 3 hours and still didn't pee....even after waking up dry!

We tried the sticker chart, the M&M's, the "change yourself when you're wet" (she thought that was fun). We tried everything we did with her brothers to no avail.

What worked? We locked ourselves in the kitchen for an entire day. She had lots of water and we practiced pottying with her doll over and over and over. She finally started to pee on the potty...then her brother's came home, I diverted my attention for 2 mins and she had an accident. But we were moving in the right direction. It was still another month before she was trained w/o accidents.

She is a very sweet little girl but potty training almost did me in. Oh and she was almost 3.5 when we tried the one day kitchen method.

I think if I had waited until she was ready...we might still be waiting. So...my moral, every kid is different, every parent is different. Best of luck! And as my pediatrician told me, when they go to prom, they'll take off their diaper. ROFL

 

[asta]

Another vote here for she probably just isn't ready yet. My oldest daughter was a little over three years old before she decided to use the potty. As a new parent I stressed way too much and tried everything but nothing really helped. We did stickers and had a fantastic reward that she really wanted but this didn't make a difference. She started going dry for the whole night around the age of two and I thought that meant that she should be able to be potty trained but not with her. After several very frustrating weeks, I just put her in pullups and waited. She was just too stubborn. My mother came for a visit and asked my daughter to show her her big girl underwear. They went into her room and my daughter came out in her new underwear and never had an accident after that. After all of my efforts, it was just that easy. Of course, my mother loved it.

 

[DMickey28]

My DS is going to be 3 in April and I am just starting to see some signs that he knows BEFORE he is going to go that he needs to go.

I don't think she is quite ready yet.

My DS HAD been sitting on the potty since he was 18 months old and would almost always pee when sitting on it. BUT he didn't know before he HAD to go that he was going to, he just knew how to try and go. Around Christmas when he was just over 2.5 he decided he wanted NOTHING to do with the potty. We have backed on until after he turns 3 and the baby is here.

 

[Myothername]

I can't take too much credit for my DS being potty trained. My babysitter did it in a week. I tried it once when he was 2 and a half and he had no clue. Went back to the diapers. Tried again a month later and it was like a light bulb went off over his head. What she told me to do was buy some of the terrycloth training pants (I hear they are hard to find but some cheap panties will work too) and some rubber pants. He did not like the wet feeling. Worked like a charm. He never wet at night with a pull up and after a couple of weeks went to big boy underwear at night. I think I was just lucky. My 3 nephews were pretty far along before they were trained. I would not stress over it. Go back to the diapers for a few months and then ask her if she is ready to try again. Sounds like she does not recognize the pee-pee feeling when it hits her.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Check out this book. It worked for DS11 when he was almost 4, yes 4. He did not care a thing about going in the toilet..happy go lucky just to pee and poop in his pants. This training method worked in 5 (yes, very long) hours. No tears, yelling, hitting, humiliating..nothing like that, just love and support and lots of repetition. I used it on DS10 when he was 3 and it took him 2 hours...or less.



http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Training-Less-Than-Day/dp/0671693808

 

[SAHDad]

All I can say is good luck. DS was could pee in the potty by 26 months or so, but took close to another year before he would poop in anthing other than a pull-up. Right now, we are on attempt #4 or #5 (I forget which) with DS. She knows when she has to go, she will tell me she needs a new diaper, she can basically change herself (and has done so, actually!). But she figures it is easier to wear a diaper and let loose whenever she wants, because daddy will change her, whereas going to the bathroom means a break in play, and she does not want to do that.

 

[claudia]

I disagree. Going in the potty is a skill. They need to be able to tell you when they need to go, pull down their underwear, wipe, pull it back up, wash their hands. You think they can learn that overnight? Nope.

Some kids do....my oldest DS was 22 months and decided he wanted out of diapers and into cowboy big boy pants (this was 30 years ago...so no pull-ups, just mini version jockeys). I explained that he needed to use the toilet only with a little foot stool ...then again there were no "potties", only the real deal with an insert....and he told me "ok"....I took off the diaper, he put on the cowboy undies and never had an accident, day or night...that was it. My next 2 took a bit longer, but they were both done within a week of asking....they were older though, both were around 3.

OP: I think your dd is not quite ready yet....

 

[mjkacmom]

If she has more than 2 accidents nakey-butt, she's not ready. If she's ready, she'll be nakey butt trained almost immediately.

 

[teskak]

we used to use rewards, a pack of m&ms. 1 m&m if she went weewee on potty or toilet, 2 if she did poopie.

Got the trick pretty well because it was worth somemthing to her to do it right

 

[ckoncurat]

I have gotton six kids through potty training, and it was never a fast process for me! The latest was like 3 1/2, the earliest a little before three. Every time it took a few months. To me potty training has three stages:
1. Getting ready. You talk about the potty, read books about the potty, take them to the potty If they are interested. No Pressure
2. Once they have actually used the potty, you can start taking them on a regular basis- say every two hours of so, or before meals, whatever works for you. Use pullups at this point.
3. Once they are using the potty multiple times a day, put them in training pants. Keep offering the potty regularly, but if they have an accident, just make them change. No pressure, No bribes, just keep doing the same thing until they get it. THEY ALL GET IT!! Theres no big secret. Your daughter will get it.

 

[mjkacmom]

Nothing, she's not ready. She'll let you know when she is... telling you she's wet, needs a change, etc. My son just decided one day he was done with diapers. Spent the weekend nekkid from the waist down, and went whenever he needed. That's all it took. It had nothing to do with me whatsoever.

I've never had a child appear to be ready, and trained my last 3 in under a week total. I think what worked for your ds was nakey butt, since it tends to work almost instantly for the majority of kids.

I discovered this method with #3, who, at the age of 2 1/2, had a bad diaper rash. I had to run out and buy underwear, because she refused to wear a diaper ever again during the day (still slept with one). Decided to do this on purpose with my twins at 2 1/2, and dd trained almost instantly, ds kept peeing on the floor, so I knew he wasn't ready. Three month later, he passed the nakey test, and he was my easiest one! None of them expressed any desire to use the potty, and trained SO much faster than the ones I trained traditionally (underwear, making them sit, timing them) at the age of 3.

 

[Val]

IF she is staying dry for several hours at a time, then she is likely ready. It is a skill, and she needs practice. You can spread this out, or get in massed practice......there is a terrific book called "how to potty train your child in one day" by Richard Foxx. You can look for the book, but the basic idea is:

1. YOU must be willing to devote the day to potty training. YOU are the most important link here.

2. She needs lots and lots of practice. So give her lots and lots of fluids, if you know what I mean.

3. Strip her down to her shirt and panties. Have lots of panties on hand. DO NOT use training pants or pull ups. You WANT her to feel wet and the pee running down her leg (its icky and gross- that's the point!).

4. Practice "running to the potty" from where ever she will be eating, playing, etc. (NOT napping, that is too much yet). Might pick a location to stick to that has washable floors. Even let her see YOU go. If you "need to go", say it out loud and let her see you "run to the potty" and put YOUR pee in the big girl potty. Be sure and tell her how good and how much like a big girl it makes you feel (hey, you are her best model at this point!).

5. Look for fidgeting, etc. when she is playing. If she is looking like she might have to go, "run to the potty". Make it positive, make it fun. If she goes, terrific, give her a small reward (how about another drink ;>). Also, might make a chart that she can put a sticker on. Let her flush, wash her hands like a big girl...maybe use a special big girl towel to dry her hands. Make a big deal out of the first few times, but PRAISE HER FOR THE BEHAVIOR....don't just say "you are such a good girl", but tell her why! "look at what you did....you felt that you had to go potty, and you hurried to the toilet and you put your pee in the toilet like a big girl". That way she gets the behavior focused on, and it reinforces the behavior, not just her general self esteem (that can come later!).

6. IF she misses, STAY POSITIVE. Say "eh oh, you missed". Ask her if it feels good to have wet panties ("oh yuck, I bet those wet panties don't feel very good, next time we better make sure you put your pee int he potty!").....Have her "clean up" her panties (take them off, put them in the hamper), have her 'clean up the floor", etc (a little adult help here, of course).....the idea is getting across the point that peeing in your panties, down your leg and all over the floor is no fun- but DO NOT YELL or punish....the clean up serves as the correction. THEN.....since she missed, have her practice what to do next time. "Since you missed that time, let's practice what to do for the next time!")..... Run to the potty 5-10 times (again, make it a game). The idea is to practice (it is a little punishing), but you are practicing the correct behavior.

In my pre-professor days I trained hundreds of kids with developmental disabilities using this method- and 4 of my own kids. It will really, really wear you out, but it DOES work. Once she gets the hang of it, she will catch on really quick.

BMs are a little different.....that comes down to predicting when they go and catching those opportunities. A little more difficult to feed them enough to poop all day ;>

When she has the gist of it, do it again the next day, and the next (much less intensity, and you will how she starts to get the hang of it an initiate on her own). The time and intensity is much less the second day, and less the third, and so on.....that first day is what is so exhausting.

Again, the two most important things here are to 1) keep those liquids coming to have lots of opportunity for practice; and 2) keep even mishaps positive. Pretty soon going to the big girl potty and staying dry and not having to stop playing to clean up the mess and getting really cool praise from mom is MUCH more fun than sitting around in wet panties! Might even have a special fancy pair of undies for her to wear when she gets it...because only big girls who know to put their pee in the pot get to wear (insert your special kind of panties here).

Finally.....have a strong cocktail or other beverage for the end of the day. You will need it after getting excited about how much fun running to the potty is 100+ times! Oh, and be sure no other adults witness you doing the happy dance because pee went in the potty, or the neighbors will think you have completely lost it!

Good luck.....and take pictures. We plan on submitting a picture of DD18 sitting on the pot for her HS senior class baby picture DVD! She is naked, except for a pink baseball cap, my flip flops, and she is holding a book upside down....oh, the memories!!!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I have a DD who is just over 2.5. On Saturday, we began putting her in big-girl undies (except for night-time and naps) and giving her lots and lots of chances to pee in the potty.

She has peed in the potty several times. Every time she does it, it's because she was sitting on the potty for a long stretch of time beforehand. So, it is almost like the peeing was accidental and she just "happened" to already be on the potty.

However, she has not (yet) been able to tell us that she is about to pee. If she's not sitting on the potty, she pees wherever she is, then tells me that she just peed. I don't know if it sneaks up on her or what. I know accidents are part of potty training, but I am wondering...how long will it take her to recognize that she has to pee, then go sit on the potty?

We've practiced saying, "Mommy, I have to go potty" but she always tells me that after she pees, not before!!

Yep. We're pretty much right where you are. Funny thing is, she knows when she has to poop, and she'll take me to the bathroom and she'll poop on the toilet (with a Tink potty seat.) She'll pee when she's done pooping and that's pretty predictable, but the rest of the time... not so much. The pee just seems to sneak up on her, too. ::sigh::

Oh and the best part, she insists on being nekkie. You put a Pull Up on her (I gave up on diapers... they never fit her right) and she takes it off within minutes. You'd think this would help... nope!!

We have potty books, had her on the potty since about 18 months, talk about the potty until we're blue in the face. Nothing. I was really hoping she'd be ready, all these early potty training stories make me feel like a failure, even though I'm doing things "right."

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

WISH I could help you, but I am still having trouble with DD who is 5....yes 5! She will pee on the potty w/o a problem but poop? forget it!! Its really frustrating b/c she starts kindergarten in sept. and she has to be potty trained by then! And she will just poop in the pull up (refuses to wear undies), she knows when she has to, but she will NOT put it in the potty. Just being stubborn. And we have tried everything! Praise, Sticker charts, I had a special prize jar, skittles, then I made a board game with a picture of her that she could move around the game board one time per poop and once she got to the bottom she could get an American Girl doll, but nothing has worked for the poop.
I wish you tons of luck!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

IF she is staying dry for several hours at a time, then she is likely ready. It is a skill, and she needs practice. You can spread this out, or get in massed practice......there is a terrific book called "how to potty train your child in one day" by Richard Foxx. You can look for the book, but the basic idea is:

1. YOU must be willing to devote the day to potty training. YOU are the most important link here.

2. She needs lots and lots of practice. So give her lots and lots of fluids, if you know what I mean.

3. Strip her down to her shirt and panties. Have lots of panties on hand. DO NOT use training pants or pull ups. You WANT her to feel wet and the pee running down her leg (its icky and gross- that's the point!).

4. Practice "running to the potty" from where ever she will be eating, playing, etc. (NOT napping, that is too much yet). Might pick a location to stick to that has washable floors. Even let her see YOU go. If you "need to go", say it out loud and let her see you "run to the potty" and put YOUR pee in the big girl potty. Be sure and tell her how good and how much like a big girl it makes you feel (hey, you are her best model at this point!).

5. Look for fidgeting, etc. when she is playing. If she is looking like she might have to go, "run to the potty". Make it positive, make it fun. If she goes, terrific, give her a small reward (how about another drink ;>). Also, might make a chart that she can put a sticker on. Let her flush, wash her hands like a big girl...maybe use a special big girl towel to dry her hands. Make a big deal out of the first few times, but PRAISE HER FOR THE BEHAVIOR....don't just say "you are such a good girl", but tell her why! "look at what you did....you felt that you had to go potty, and you hurried to the toilet and you put your pee in the toilet like a big girl". That way she gets the behavior focused on, and it reinforces the behavior, not just her general self esteem (that can come later!).

6. IF she misses, STAY POSITIVE. Say "eh oh, you missed". Ask her if it feels good to have wet panties ("oh yuck, I bet those wet panties don't feel very good, next time we better make sure you put your pee int he potty!").....Have her "clean up" her panties (take them off, put them in the hamper), have her 'clean up the floor", etc (a little adult help here, of course).....the idea is getting across the point that peeing in your panties, down your leg and all over the floor is no fun- but DO NOT YELL or punish....the clean up serves as the correction. THEN.....since she missed, have her practice what to do next time. "Since you missed that time, let's practice what to do for the next time!")..... Run to the potty 5-10 times (again, make it a game). The idea is to practice (it is a little punishing), but you are practicing the correct behavior.

In my pre-professor days I trained hundreds of kids with developmental disabilities using this method- and 4 of my own kids. It will really, really wear you out, but it DOES work. Once she gets the hang of it, she will catch on really quick.

BMs are a little different.....that comes down to predicting when they go and catching those opportunities. A little more difficult to feed them enough to poop all day ;>

When she has the gist of it, do it again the next day, and the next (much less intensity, and you will how she starts to get the hang of it an initiate on her own). The time and intensity is much less the second day, and less the third, and so on.....that first day is what is so exhausting.

Again, the two most important things here are to 1) keep those liquids coming to have lots of opportunity for practice; and 2) keep even mishaps positive. Pretty soon going to the big girl potty and staying dry and not having to stop playing to clean up the mess and getting really cool praise from mom is MUCH more fun than sitting around in wet panties! Might even have a special fancy pair of undies for her to wear when she gets it...because only big girls who know to put their pee in the pot get to wear (insert your special kind of panties here).

Finally.....have a strong cocktail or other beverage for the end of the day. You will need it after getting excited about how much fun running to the potty is 100+ times! Oh, and be sure no other adults witness you doing the happy dance because pee went in the potty, or the neighbors will think you have completely lost it!

Good luck.....and take pictures. We plan on submitting a picture of DD18 sitting on the pot for her HS senior class baby picture DVD! She is naked, except for a pink baseball cap, my flip flops, and she is holding a book upside down....oh, the memories!!!

This is the book I referred to in my PP, Richard Foxx cowrote it with Nathan Azrin. (Toilet Training In Less Than a Day) It is about repetition and setting them up for success. It is a bit like boot camp, but really works in less than a day! It was originally studied as a way to toilet train mentally challenged patients, then they realized the same techniques would work for children. (they do suggest using a doll that pees as part of the training, but we skipped that part)

I gotta tell you, the first time my DS4 (at the time) used the potty on his own, I started to cry! What a relief, I thought the day would never come.

 

[Kirby]

I guess I was lucky with my two. I had already decided when my first was born that I wouldn't even attempt to get rid of diapers (don't like the term "toilet training") around 3 years old.

About six weeks before my sons 3rd birthday I began telling him that he would get to wear big boy underwear when he turned 3. I continued to remind him occasionally of that and on his 3rd birthday switched over to Pullups. He had one accident in the pullups and within a couple of weeks was wearing regular underwear. I did the same with my daughter. I think that she had a couple of accidents but not many.

 

[AmazingGrace]

She's not ready. let her take the lead. She'll let you know when it's time.
My son was physically delayed and it had no bearing on his potty trianing. In fact, out of all my kids, he was the easiest and the quickest once he was ready. Don't worry. She'll get there.

 

[mjkacmom]

WISH I could help you, but I am still having trouble with DD who is 5....yes 5! She will pee on the potty w/o a problem but poop? forget it!! Its really frustrating b/c she starts kindergarten in sept. and she has to be potty trained by then! And she will just poop in the pull up (refuses to wear undies), she knows when she has to, but she will NOT put it in the potty. Just being stubborn. And we have tried everything! Praise, Sticker charts, I had a special prize jar, skittles, then I made a board game with a picture of her that she could move around the game board one time per poop and once she got to the bottom she could get an American Girl doll, but nothing has worked for the poop.
I wish you tons of luck!

It will happen, and don't worry about kindy - these kids can hold it! My worst one was ds11 - he was 4+. I remember offering up one of those battery operated jeeps - told him if he pooped on the potty, we'd head on out to Toys R Us - nope. It is not being stubborn - it's extreme fear. Three of my five had this, ranging from 3 months to more than a year. Trust me - it WILL happen, when you least expect it (dd13 was at a neighbor's house).

 

[Gabes_mommy]

When she's ready it will be easy. Just let her wear pull-ups and try again in a few months.

ETA - We tried a few times with DS and then the last time when we switched to undies he was just ready and has only had a few accidents in the past 6 months or so. We still use pull-ups at night though - I don't know when he'll be ready to over-night train.

 

[dawson5]

my oldest had issues, what clicked for him was seeing a commercial for turtle beach at geauga lake. He really wanted to go. We told him you couldn't wear diapers there (small white lie) and that you couldn't go in your big boy undies. He was done in a week. Middle son was one of those two day kids. I didn't even train him, the oldest told him that he needed to be out of diapers. It just clicked for him, he was about 2 or 2 1/2. Youngest had problems, we were still having problems at 5--nighttime problems. It came down to large adenoids. Once those were removed, accidents stopped right away.


Good luck.